Snowbound: Miracle Marriage
Snowbound: Miracle Marriage
Sarah Morgan
When A&E doctor and confirmed bachelor Daniel Buchannan is left in charge of his brother's kids there's only one person he can turn to. Stella's heart was crushed when Daniel broke off their engagement, but she agrees to come to his rescue for the sake of the children. Being snowbound with Stella shows Daniel just what he's been missing…and Stella is about to discover that Christmas really is a time for miracles.
Snowbound: Miracle Marriage
Sarah Morgan
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover Page (#u6f030e67-135c-535f-a0fe-3eb90c5f82b7)
Title Page (#u67b3666f-6744-5876-9480-e639e65e3597)
Dedication (#u7b0272e4-24f2-5cf1-ad6e-5de45e58aa15)
Dear Reader (#u329132e2-abf1-5886-a9b1-dd1ef78e573e)
Prologue (#u90402d3f-1cbf-5ff4-98e7-1c79841a2376)
Chapter One (#ubabea774-25c1-5b86-a8fd-0f805a9cf14b)
Chapter Two (#uf23f6152-9a5f-5218-9652-f1664e676028)
Chapter Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
To Lucy, whose happy smile and cheerful nature never fail to brighten my day
Dear Reader
I love Christmas. I love snowy winter walks and cosy evenings spent in front of a blazing log fire. I love helping my over-excited children decorate the Christmas tree and wrap presents for friends and family. And I love writing my Christmas story. I love it so much that this time I’ve written two of them!
I’ve always been fascinated by the influence that family and upbringing can have on a person, and this is the subject I explore in my Christmas duet about brothers Daniel and Patrick Buchannan. Both grew up in the shadow of their parents’ toxic, destructive relationship, but this experience affected them differently.
Daniel, hero of SNOWBOUND: MIRACLE MARRIAGE, was so badly scarred by his childhood that marriage isn’t something he ever wants to risk. His refusal to commit ended his passionate relationship with Stella and she moved away. But now she’s back, working in the Accident and Emergency Department alongside him. Watching her living her life without him forces Daniel to challenge everything he has ever believed about himself.
In CHRISTMAS EVE: DOORSTEP DELIVERY single dad Patrick is determined to be a good father to his two children. He believes in love, but after his ex-wife’s desertion he’s not about to jump into another serious relationship without being sure it’s right for his family. But then bubbly, lovable Hayley arrives on his doorstep on Christmas Eve. She’s impulsive and romantic and suddenly Patrick’s world is turned upside down.
I hope these stories put you in a festive mood, and that you enjoy reading how each of these strong, honourable men find love.
Happy Christmas!
Love
Sarah
x
Prologue
‘I’M OVER him. Really. That’s why I’m back.’ Stella stamped the snow from her boots and levered them off on the doorstep of the converted stable. ‘Two years is a long time. Long enough to gain some perspective on things.’ She glanced at the man next to her and caught her breath because he was so like his brother. And yet so different. This man hadn’t smashed her dreams into a million tiny pieces. ‘Are you sure it’s a good idea for me to live in your stable?’
‘It’s nearly Christmas,’ he drawled, a gleam of humour in his eyes as he stood aside to let her pass. ‘A stable is prime accommodation, haven’t you heard?’
Stella smiled, but beneath the smile was a shiver of trepidation.
Christmas.
Once, it had been her favourite time of year. But that had been before every glittering silver bauble reminded her of the engagement ring she’d worn for such a short space of time.
Putting her life back together had taken time, effort and determination. And she was about to test just how far she’d come.
She’d kept her emotions safely boxed away, like Christmas decorations that were no longer needed. What if the box suddenly opened, spilling all those emotions back into her life?
For a terrifying moment it felt as though two years of healing was about to be undone and Stella stepped quickly inside her new home, hiding her feelings from the man watching her. He was a doctor as well as a friend. She knew how much he saw.
Her feet sank into the soft, cream rug that covered much of the pale wooden floor and she blinked rapidly to clear the tears, angry with herself. No more tears, wasn’t that what she’d promised herself? ‘I suspect this is a little more comfortable than the original stable. You’ve performed miracles, Patrick. When I last saw this two years ago, it still had a horse in it.’ She was making polite conversation but it was impossible to ignore the gnawing anxiety in her stomach.
‘Stella, will you drop the act?’ He slammed the door shut on the snow and the freezing December air. ‘You’re a nervous wreck. Pale. Jumpy. Looking over your shoulder in case Daniel suddenly turns up. He isn’t going to. He’s up to his elbows in blood and drama at the hospital. It’s just you and me. We drowned our sorrows together two years ago. If you can’t be honest with me, who can you be honest with?’
Stella tugged off her gloves. ‘He’s your brother. That makes it awkward.’
‘The fact that he’s my brother doesn’t blind me to his faults.’ Patrick dropped the keys on the table. ‘Neither does it affect our friendship. We kept each other going over that nightmare Christmas. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that.’
Stella felt her insides wobble and wondered whether it was a mistake to pursue this conversation. In a way it had been easier living and working among people who didn’t know—people who weren’t watching to see how she was coping. ‘I’m nervous about seeing him,’ she said finally. ‘Of course I am.’
‘I’m not surprised. Stella, you were engaged.’
‘For about five minutes.’ She walked towards the woodburning stove and stared at the glass. ‘I just wish he hadn’t broken it off at Christmas. It made it harder, somehow.’
‘He shouldn’t have broken it off at all.’
‘That was inevitable.’ She turned, resigned to having the conversation she’d hoped to avoid. ‘Daniel doesn’t believe he’d be a good husband and he definitely doesn’t think he’d be a good father—you know how his mind works. The surprise wasn’t that he broke off the engagement, but that he proposed to me in the first place. If I’d been stronger, I would have said no. I knew it wasn’t what he wanted.’ Lost in thought, dwelling in the land of ‘what if’, Stella lifted one of the logs piled in a basket, ready to be used on the fire, and rubbed her fingers along the rough bark. Then she looked at Patrick. ‘Enough of me. How are you doing? If anything, that Christmas was worse for you than it was for me. Your wife left.’
‘The difference is that Carly and I weren’t in love. I was angry with her for ending it at Christmas, and I feel for the children not having a mother around, but for myself…’ He gave a dismissive shrug. ‘The one thing about being unhappily married is that divorce feels like a blessing. But I’m aware that I’m probably part of the reason that Daniel got cold feet.’
‘I think it was more like frostbite than cold feet,’ Stella said lightly, ‘and it wasn’t your fault.’
‘Carly walked out on Christmas Eve. Daniel broke off your engagement on the same day. Believe me, there was a connection.’
Remembering just how awful that Christmas had been for both of them, Stella sighed. ‘You and I spent it on our own, trying to smile around your kids, do you remember?’
‘I remember that you were brave,’ Patrick said gruffly, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder. ‘After Daniel walked out, you disappeared for five minutes and then came back with your make-up on and a smile on your face, determined to give my children a good time. Because of you, I don’t think Alfie even noticed that his mother wasn’t there.’
‘The children gave me something to focus on. And you and I did share that bottle of champagne, which helped. And we ate every scrap of chocolate from the Christmas tree.’
‘Then I went and picked up a kitten from the farmer next door, do you remember?’
It was one of the few happy memories among the miserable ones. ‘Giving Alfie that kitten was an inspired idea. And it was gorgeous.’
‘That kitten is now a cat and has just produced kittens of her own.’
‘Really? Alfie must love that.’
‘I’ve said he can keep two. I have to find homes for the other two. Our life is chaotic enough without four kittens.’ Patrick’s gaze settled on her face. ‘You really were brave, Stella. I know how much you love Dan. The fact that you held it together was nothing short of amazing.’
‘If you’d seen me two weeks later, you wouldn’t have thought I was amazing. I was in pieces.’
‘I’m not surprised.’
Talking about the past had removed any awkwardness between them. ‘I’m worried about how Daniel is going to react when he finds out that I’m living in your stable.’
‘I don’t care what he thinks.’ Tough, calm and sure of himself, Patrick removed the log from her hands. ‘My property. My decision.’
“Well, that’s a non-confrontational approach.’ Stella watched as he opened the wood-burning stove. ‘I don’t want to cause a problem between you. I don’t want you falling out over me.’
‘We have to fall out over something. It won’t be the first time it’s a woman. I still owe him for stealing Nancy Potter away from me when I was eight. I adored that girl. I’ve had a thing for pigtails ever since.’ His smile was slow and sexy and Stella wondered for the millionth time why she couldn’t have fallen for him instead of his brother.
You always have to do things the hard way, Stella.
Dismissing her mother’s voice from her head, Stella slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and forced herself to keep it light. ‘So—was this Nancy Potter pretty?’
‘She had red hair and a fierce temper.’
‘Sounds scary.’
‘Relationships are always scary.’
She wasn’t going to argue with that. ‘You and I both want the same out of life. I met you and Dan at exactly the same time, that week I started at the hospital five years ago. Why couldn’t you and I have fallen in love with each other?’
Patrick fed the log into the stove. ‘Because you’re a beautiful blonde and I hate stereotypes.’
Stella lifted a hand to her hair. ‘I could dye it black?’
‘Wouldn’t make any difference. There was never any chemistry between us.’
Stella watched his muscles flex as he reached for another log. ‘Do you remember that time you kissed me, just to check?’
‘Daniel punched me immediately afterwards.’ Patrick lit the fire. ‘He didn’t want you involved with me in case I hurt you.’
They exchanged a look, both thinking the same thing.
That, in the end, it had been Daniel who had hurt her.
‘Am I going to be able to do this?’ Stella was asking herself as much as him. ‘Am I going to be able to work alongside him every day and not wish I was with him?’
‘You tell me. Are you?’
Stella gave a murmur of frustration. ‘I don’t know. I hope so.’ She paced the length of the living room, hating herself for being so unsure and indecisive. ‘Yes, of course I can do it. And if it feels difficult—well, I just need to keep reminding myself that he and I don’t want the same things out of life.’
Patrick coaxed the flame to life. ‘You just need to keep reminding yourself that when it comes to women, Daniel is nothing but trouble. We Buchannans are seriously bad at relationships.’
‘You’re not.’
He rocked back on his heels. ‘I’m divorced, Stella.’
‘Your wife was clearly deranged.’
‘Or maybe I’m not easy to live with.’
‘No man is easy to live with,’ Stella said dryly. ‘You’re a different species. I just wish I’d listened to you when you warned me about Dan.’
‘It wouldn’t have made a difference. Women never listen when it comes to Daniel. It’s those blue eyes of his. For some reason I’ve never understood, he can seduce a woman with a single glance.’ Patrick stood up and brushed the dust from his long black coat. ‘I admire you. He wouldn’t give you marriage so you walked away. You refused to accept less than you deserve.’
Stella watched as the fire whispered and licked at the logs and then flared to life. ‘Why does that sound better than it feels?’
‘Because the right thing isn’t always the easy thing.’ Patrick studied her for a long moment. ‘Why now? Why did you come back now?’
As the room grew warmer, Stella unwound the scarf from her neck. ‘Because I hated London. Because two years is a long time. Because I worked here for three years and I miss all my friends. Because I can see how wrong Daniel was for me. And because I really am over him.’ Dear God, please let her be over him…
Patrick gave her a long, hard look. ‘If you’re over him, why haven’t you told him you’re back?’
Stella felt her heart lurch and she glanced from the stove to the exposed beams. ‘How did you find time to do this up?’
‘I didn’t. I just wrote cheques. And stop changing the subject.’
‘Why would I tell him I’m back? We haven’t had any contact since that nightmare Christmas two years ago. Not once.’ They’d been so close, and yet he hadn’t even contacted her to see how she was. ‘He doesn’t know I’m planning to live with his brother. He doesn’t know I’ve got a job in the emergency department. If I rang him and said I was coming back he might think I was dropping hints. Hoping to get back together or something. That would be awkward and embarrassing.’
‘So, instead, you’re going to walk into the emergency department tomorrow and surprise him.’ Patrick gave a sardonic smile. ‘I hate to disillusion you, angel, but I don’t think that approach is going to steer you away from awkward and embarrassing.’
‘Maybe not, but there won’t be an opportunity for conversation. There’s no time to talk about personal stuff in the emergency department, especially not at Christmas when it’s so busy.’ Stella flopped down on the comfortable sofa. ‘And one of the advantages of having been engaged for less than twenty-four hours is that most people didn’t know about it.’
Patrick spread his hands in a gesture of apology. ‘What can I say? Dan’s always shied away from commitment. Our parents’ marriage was ugly, you know that. Really ugly. Not an example anyone in their right mind would be in a hurry to follow.’
‘It didn’t stop you marrying.’
‘Maybe it should have done.’ His tone weary, Patrick walked to the window. ‘I suppose I wanted to create something I’d never had—I wanted the whole family thing. Dan just rejected it. And maybe he was the sensible one given that my ex-wife is now living in New York and my children no longer have a mother.’
‘I’m sorry about your divorce,’ Stella said softly, watching as Patrick’s broad shoulders tensed.
‘Don’t be sorry for me. I’m fine. It’s just the kids I worry about.’
‘I’m dying to see them. They won’t remember me.’
‘Alfie remembers you.’ Patrick turned with a smile. ‘He was eight when you left and you’ve been sending him thoughtful birthday presents. He’s dying to show you our kittens. And you won’t recognise Posy, she’s grown so much.’
‘I can’t believe she’s three.’
‘She’s very mischievous. Generally creating havoc.’
‘And what about you? Any women in your life?’
‘Thousands,’ Patrick drawled, a wicked gleam in his blue eyes. ‘I find I can’t get through the day without stripping at least one midwife naked.’
‘You can joke, but I happen to know that ninety-five per cent of the midwives in your department would be only too happy to be stripped naked by you.’
‘What am I doing wrong with the other five per cent?’
‘He’s a man.’
‘Ah.’ Laughing, he tilted his head. ‘Your turn to tell all. Did you find yourself a decent rebound relationship to cure you of my brother?’
Stella straightened her shoulders. ‘Not yet, but I’m working on it. It’s my Christmas present to myself. A love life. I’ve made a list.’
‘A list of men?’
‘No!’ Stella laughed. ‘A list of qualities. You know—things I won’t compromise on.’
‘Like tall, dark, handsome, rich…’ Realising what he’d said, Patrick threw her an apologetic look but Stella managed a smile.
‘That sounds too much like Dan,’ she said lightly. ‘I was thinking more of must want marriage and children.’ She glanced around her. ‘Does this place have an internet connection?’
‘High-speed broadband—why?’
‘Because I’ve joined an internet dating agency. I’ve decided that this time I’m going to be more analytical about the whole thing. It was crazy, falling for Daniel. He had “unsuitable” stamped on his forehead. If I’d made him fill out a questionnaire he never would have passed “go”. This time I’m weeding out all the men who aren’t right for me. I posted a description of myself last month and I’ve had three hundred and fifty replies.’
‘You’re going to be busy.’
‘Maybe you should do the same thing?’
‘I don’t have time to date. Between the children, the kittens and the hospital, I’m lucky if I sleep. And, anyway, I wouldn’t expose the kids to another woman. Too complicated. Talking of which, I’d better get going. The labour ward rang half an hour ago to warn me they have a woman who isn’t progressing as she should be. I need to check her out.’ Patrick scooped the keys from the table and handed them to her. ‘These are for you. You’re my first tenant so if there’s anything I need to know about the place, just tell me. They’re forecasting constant snow between now and Christmas so if the heating isn’t high enough, light the fire or adjust the thermostat.’
‘I’ll light the fire. It’s so cosy. And if you need any babysitting, I’m right here. It’s so good to be home. I’ve been away too long.’
‘I hope you don’t find it isolated after city life. If you’re internet dating, surely you’re more likely to find Mr Right in London?’
‘I don’t think so.’ Stella stared at the craggy outline of the mountains in the distance. ‘This place is in my blood. I need a man who understands that. A man who loves it as much as I do.’
‘Well, I wish you luck.’ Patrick strolled towards the door and Stella turned to look at him.
‘Just one thing…’ Her heart pounding, she tried to sound casual. ‘Is Daniel seeing anyone?’
Patrick paused with his hand on the doorhandle. ‘Are you sure you want me to answer that question?’
‘Yes.’ Stella licked her lips. ‘I’d rather hear it from you. It will be easier if I’m prepared.’
‘He is seeing someone.’ Patrick’s voice was gentle and his eyes held hers. ‘She’s a lawyer. Career-woman. Workaholic. About as maternal as a cactus.’
‘Oh. OK.’ Feeling suddenly cold, Stella rubbed her hands over her arms. Because Patrick was watching her intently, she smiled. ‘She sounds perfect for him. Not the sort to want marriage and a family. That’s good. Great. Really, I mean it. I—I’m glad he’s happy.’
Patrick studied her face for a long time and then he opened the door, letting in a blast of ice-cold air. ‘I said he was seeing someone. I said she reminded me of a cactus. I never said that he was happy.’
And, with that cryptic comment and an enigmatic smile, he closed the door behind him.
Chapter One
‘THE mountain rescue team are bringing in a boy who slipped on a school adventure trip. It was a very tricky rescue, by all accounts. He was wedged in a steep gully, too badly injured to move. And the weather was too bad for the helicopter to winch him out.’ Ellie, the emergency department sister, checked the notes she’d made. ‘Nasty compound fracture of the tibial shaft. I’m guessing that the poor boy had more adventure than he was planning for.’
‘Oh, the poor thing!’ Stella felt a stab of sympathy. ‘So how did they get him out?’
‘One of the team abseiled down into the gully. Sat in the freezing cold with him and figured out a way to achieve the impossible,’ Ellie said dryly. ‘Heroic rescue by all accounts. I was hoping you’d take this one for me. It might be a bit complicated and you were always good with complicated. It’s so good to have you back. I missed you. Did they teach you anything new in that fancy hospital in London?’
‘Only how to deal with stabbings and gunshot wounds, which isn’t a lot of use up here in Cumbria. I missed you, too, and I can’t wait to catch up properly.’ Her friendship with Ellie was another reason she’d come back. ‘We ought to go out. Pizza? Movie?’
‘Both!’ Ellie hugged her. ‘But it will have to be early. I have to be in bed by nine or I can’t function. The kids are exhausting at the moment.’
Stella felt a sudden stab of envy. ‘I can’t wait to see them. Are they looking forward to Christmas?’
‘Are you joking? They’re so over-excited they can’t sleep and there’s still another three weeks to go. Ben and I will be frayed by Christmas Eve.’
But frayed in a good way, Stella thought wistfully, longing for the chance to be similarly frayed. She wouldn’t want to sleep if she had a baby. She’d just want to lie awake all night, staring in wonder.
‘I’ll go and prepare Resus.’ Knowing that it was stupid to dwell on what she didn’t have, Stella walked with Ellie towards the resuscitation room. ‘So which one of the team performed the daring rescue? Was it your Ben?’
‘No.’ Ellie pushed open the doors to Resus. ‘It was your Dan.’
Stella stopped, feeling as though her heart had been left two metres behind her body. ‘Daniel?’
‘Yes. He’s bringing the boy in now.’ Ellie peered at her face. ‘I think you’ve just answered my next question, which was going to be, “Are you still in love with him?”’
‘I’m not in love with him.’
‘This is me you’re talking to.’
‘I’m not in love with him.’
‘All right, we’ll argue about that some other time. For now what I need to know is whether you can work with him.’
Stella was grateful for the acting classes she’d taken as a child. They helped her pull her features into an expression that said ‘unconcerned’.
In less than five minutes she was going to see him. This was the moment she’d been dreading. The whole thing felt like some sort of test. How far had she come? Had she recovered enough to be able to look at Daniel and not want him? Aware that some sort of response was required, she nodded. ‘I can work with him. He’s a very talented doctor.’ She consoled herself with the fact that at least the second half of that sentence wasn’t a lie. ‘Why would it be a problem?’
Ellie sighed and then gave her a quick hug. ‘Stella, this is a big thing for you, I know. I watched you fall in love with Dan. I know what he meant to you.’
‘And you watched when it fell apart.’
‘You were engaged.’
‘For about five minutes. Two years ago. Big mistake. I don’t intend to repeat it. Dan and I are history.’ Stella pulled away from her. ‘And I have a date tomorrow. He calls himself “Caring of Cumbria”. Blond, sensitive, loves romantic nights in by the fire and is looking for a long-term relationship with the right woman.’
Ellie laughed. ‘Sounds the complete opposite of Dangerous Dan.’
‘Who is dark, insensitive, likes hot sex by the fire and short-term relationships with the wrong women. You see? If I’d analysed him properly I would have run a mile.’ Gaining confidence from that thought, Stella walked across the room. ‘All right, what am I likely to need?’
‘Do you want me to hang around?’
‘In case we kill each other?’ Stella pulled on an apron and a pair of gloves. ‘I hope we’ll be more civilised than that. Is there anything else I should know about the patient?’
‘Dan will tell you when he gets here. He’s going to deal with it himself.’ With that unsettling announcement, Ellie hurried out of the room and seconds later the door swung open again.
The man guiding the stretcher into the room was tall and powerfully built, his outdoor clothing adding bulk to his muscular shoulders. ‘All right, Sam.’ His voice was calm and confident as he talked to the boy. ‘Now I’ve got some proper equipment, I can make you a bit more comfortable.’ He turned to the two junior doctors who were flanking him. ‘I put a line in at the scene, but I want you to get another one in straight away. He’s had morphine and the leg is splinted. I need another bag of fluid and…’Daniel glanced up, saw Stella and lost his thread.
Their relationship had begun with a single look, a single look that had altered the future for both of them.
Non-verbal communication had been their speciality—a knowing glance, a touch, a smile that was more of a promise—and if she’d hoped that the damage that lay behind them would have changed anything, she was disappointed.
The sudden jolt of chemistry was powerful enough to have Stella reaching out to hold the side of the trolley. It was as if she’d touched a high-voltage cable and a thousand memories shot through her, all of them including a man with ice-blue eyes and a dangerously sexy smile.
But the smile wasn’t in evidence today.
His lean, handsome face was serious, his expression doing nothing to soften the hardness of the man.
It was unfortunate that he’d come straight from a rescue, Stella thought weakly. Stubble suited him. The first thing she’d done every morning had been to drag her fingers over the darkness of his jaw, just before she’d kissed him…
Her stomach took a dive. ‘Hello, Daniel.’
He unzipped the neck of his jacket roughly, as if it was choking him. ‘Stella?’ His voice was hoarse and shocked and suddenly she couldn’t breathe because the memories were out of control.
His breath hot on her neck; his skilled, knowing hands on her trembling body; that same husky voice murmuring her name.
She gazed back at him, the only man who’d ever had this effect on her.
In London she’d hoped to meet someone who would make her forget Daniel. But how did you forget a face as absurdly handsome as his? How did you forget six feet two of arrogant masculinity? Who, out of the many doctors she’d met during her period of self-imposed exile, would have been capable of abseiling into a narrow ravine and masterminding the rescue of a severely injured boy?
Who would have had the ability to make her care so much that when it had ended, part of her had ceased to function?
Remembering the agony was what saved her. Stella turned back to the patient, reminding herself that ‘Caring of Cumbria’ liked long walks and was looking for commitment. ‘Hello, Sam.’ She walked over to the stretcher and smiled at the white-faced boy. ‘I hear you’ve had a bit of an exciting day.’
He looked impossibly young and he turned his head to look at Daniel, fear and hero-worship mingling in his eyes. ‘You promised you wouldn’t leave me. You said—’
‘I know what I said.’ Daniel’s voice was rough and he curved his hand over the boy’s shoulder. ‘And I’m not leaving you. But I do need to try and sort out that leg of yours. Trust me. Just do as I say and you’re going to be all right.’
Always In control. Always in charge.
Trust me.
Stella gritted her teeth. Trust me to break your heart. But she noticed that his hand stayed on the boy’s shoulder, providing the contact and reassurance that was so obviously needed as he gave the other doctors a series of instructions.
She guided the stretcher alongside the trolley. ‘We’re just going to move you across, Sam.’
‘You’re working here?’ Daniel’s harsh interruption made her flinch and Stella gently removed the blanket covering the boy.
Wasn’t it obvious? ‘I’ve called the radiologist.’
‘Wait.’ His hand covered hers, stopping her. ‘We move him on my count, not before.’
She’d forgotten what it was like, working with him. When he was in Resus, he was the one in command. Which was why this particular hospital had such impressive success rates, she thought dryly. Her heart thumping, Stella glanced down at the strength of his fingers covering hers and gently eased her hand away. ‘Fine. On your count.’
Registering her withdrawal, his jaw tensed and his eyes narrowed dangerously. ‘Why did no one tell me you were back?’
‘Because the medical staff aren’t usually interested in nursing appointments,’ Stella said calmly, wondering if he was even aware that the other medical staff in the room were watching them, wondering what was going on.
Nothing was going on, she told herself firmly. Nothing, except an awkward first meeting.
They transferred the boy from stretcher to trolley, and Daniel gave Stella a fulminating look that warned her that the conversation was far from over. Then he turned back to the frightened child and proceeded to demonstrate how he’d earned his reputation as a ferociously talented emergency doctor.
Maintaining a casual flow of conversation that distracted the boy, he examined him thoroughly, his skilled hands looking for injuries he hadn’t already identified
‘How’s that pain, Sam?’
‘It’s OK.’ But the boy’s face was grey and Daniel glanced towards one of his colleagues.
‘Is that line in yet?’
‘Just about to do that now.’ The more junior doctor was obviously keen to ask questions. ‘So what’s the Gustilo classification? Was there extensive tissue loss? Much bone exposure? This is an orthopaedic emergency, right?’ His tactless observation drew a terrified sound from the boy and he clutched Daniel’s arm.
‘I feel sick.’
Panic, Stella thought to herself and Daniel gave him a warm smile.
‘You’re doing fine, Sam. I’m not worried and if I’m not worried, you don’t need to be worried.’ He glanced towards the doctor who had spoken and Stella saw his eyes narrow dangerously. ‘Get that line in,’ he murmured softly, ‘and I’ll talk to you about the case later.’
And about other things, Stella thought to herself. Daniel Buchannan was too much of a perfectionist to allow the younger doctor’s slip to pass without comment.
‘Just breathe for me, Sam,’ she said softly. ‘I’m going to attach these wires to you so that we can monitor your pulse and blood pressure without having to disturb you.’
The boy looked at her gratefully. ‘You probably think I’m a baby.’
‘Babies don’t climb in Devil’s Gully.’ Stella wrapped the blood-pressure cuff around his arm. ‘I’ve seen it from the top. Never had the nerve to go down.’
Sam closed his eyes. ‘My mum is going to kill me.’
‘She’ll just be glad you’re all right.’ Stella looked at the monitor, noticing the rapid pulse rate and the low blood pressure. She looked at Daniel and he inclined his head briefly, but said nothing that would worry the boy.
‘I’m going to give you something else for the pain and sickness in just a moment, Sam,’ he said gently, checking the boy’s abdomen. ‘Stella, I want to do a FAST scan. There might be some bleeding here.’
Stella reached for the machine, still talking to the boy. ‘I can’t believe you climbed that bit of the mountain,’ she said briskly, reaching for the drugs that Daniel was going to need. ‘It’s a tricky route, even in summer. Steep.’ She talked as she worked, keeping the boy’s attention.
‘It was snowy and I went too close to the edge.’
Picturing the scene, Stella suppressed a shudder. The boy had been lucky to escape with his life. Knowing the harsh, unforgiving terrain, she also knew that Daniel must have risked his own life to save the child. ‘That story is going to get you lots of sympathy over Christmas,’ she said lightly. ‘And bigger presents.’
The child’s face brightened slightly. ‘Do you think so?’
‘I’m sure.’ Stella grinned and put the syringes on a tray. ‘Start planning your Christmas list now.’
The boy managed a smile and then groaned as a spasm of pain took hold. The groan turned to a sob and he looked at Daniel, his eyes terrified. ‘Am I going to die? I feel sick. And dizzy. Like everything is far away.’
When he needed reassurance, he looked at Daniel, Stella noticed. He’d bonded with the man who had saved his life.
‘You’re not going to die.’ Daniel spoke firmly, his hand still on the boy’s shoulder. ‘If patients die, I get fired. And I need the money.’
The sound the boy made was halfway between laughter and a sob. ‘To run that fancy sports car you told me about?’
‘Yeah—that and other things.’
‘Women?’
Daniel’s eyes gleamed. ‘They’re expensive things, women.’ Without moving his eyes from the patient, he held out his hand and Stella slipped the syringe into it, knowing exactly what he wanted.
‘Morphine and cyclizine.’
‘I know my leg is a mess,’ Sam murmured, still looking at Daniel. ‘I saw it before you put the splint on. It looked disgusting. And that other doctor said it was a medical emergency.’
‘It’s nothing we can’t deal with,’ Daniel said smoothly, checking the drug before administering it. ‘Take no notice of my colleague. We doctors love drama—makes us feel powerful and important. Don’t you watch the TV? It’s how we pull the girls. There’s a pretty nurse in the room. He’s trying to impress her.’
The boy gave a weak grin. ‘Those medical dramas mostly make me feel sick.’
‘Me, too,’ Daniel said blithely, dropping the empty syringe back onto the tray. ‘Probably why I’m still single. I haven’t got what it takes to pull the girls. All right, Sam, this is what we’re going to do. I’ve just given you another dose of medicine for pain and sickness because I can see that’s starting to bother you again. And now my friend here is going to put another needle in your vein.’
The boy’s eyes closed. ‘I still feel sick.’
‘That will pass in a minute,’ Daniel murmured, his gaze flickering to the monitor that displayed the boy’s pulse and blood pressure. ‘I’m right here, Sam. Don’t you worry. Everything is going to be fine. In three weeks’ time, you’re going to be eating your turkey and opening those presents.’
How could he possibly think he wouldn’t make a good father? Stella wondered numbly. For a man who claimed to know nothing about children, he was astonishingly empathetic.
Sam obviously agreed because he never took his eyes from Daniel’s face. ‘I’ll never forget you climbing down that slippery bit,’ the boy mumbled. ‘You deserve a medal or something.’
Daniel grinned, moving to one side while the radiologist prepared to take the X-rays. ‘Unfortunately I never get what I deserve. What was your reward supposed to be for battling through the snow and wind?’
‘My adventure badge. But I don’t suppose I’ll get it now because I didn’t finish the trip.’ The boy moaned as the radiologist moved his leg slightly. ‘I wish I’d never signed up for it.’
‘You were unlucky, that’s all. When you’re recovered give me a call and I’ll take you up there. The views are fantastic from the top. You’ll get your adventure badge—I’m sure about that.’ Daniel was working, examining the boy properly and murmuring instructions in a voice so calm that the boy remained unaware of the seriousness of his injuries. ‘Stella, how are the distal pulses?’
‘Strong.’ Stella checked that the blood supply to the lower limb was satisfactory while the casualty officer secured the second line and took the bloods that Daniel had ordered.
‘Do you want me to uncover the wound and take a photograph?’
‘I did that at the scene. I don’t want the dressing removed. The next time that wound is being exposed to air is in the operating theatre. Camera in my left pocket.’ Daniel turned slightly so that Stella could retrieve it and she tensed as she plunged her hand into his pocket.
His eyes met hers for a moment and she backed away, her fingers clutching the camera.
‘Antibiotics and tetanus,’ Daniel said roughly, and Stella turned away to prepare the drugs, knowing that her face was pink.
This was turning out to be much, much harder than she’d anticipated.
Was this going to get easier with time?
She certainly hoped so.
It wasn’t the working together that was the problem—that was as smooth as ever. It was the emotion behind it. It was impossible to switch off.
‘Daniel?’ Ellie put her head round the door, her face worried. ‘I know you’re not officially on duty but we’re having a nightmare out here. I suppose it’s the snow and ice—the roads are lethal. I’ve got a pregnant woman coming in. She and her husband were involved in a car accident. Might you be able to—?’
‘Yes. As long as she doesn’t mind being seen by a doctor in full outdoor gear.’ Daniel injected the antibiotic into the cannula, his eyes on his patient’s face. ‘I’ve been in the mountains for eight hours. At some point I need to get back to base, drop the equipment and debrief. Where is everyone else? What’s the ETA of your pregnant woman?’
‘Ambulance Control just phoned. She’s about eight minutes away.’
‘That should give me time to get Sam down to Theatre. Give me a shout when she arrives.’ Daniel glanced at Stella. ‘Any sign of the orthopaedic guys?’
‘We’re here.’ A slim man with sandy-coloured hair hurried into the room. ‘Sorry. Black ice has kept us busy. I’ve only just got out of Theatre.’ He looked at Daniel’s bulky outdoor gear. ‘Is this a new uniform for the emergency department?’
‘Daniel?’ The boy’s hand shot out and clutched Daniel’s arm again. There was fear in his eyes. ‘Are they going to put me to sleep? Will I feel anything? Did you get hold of my mum?’
‘They are going to put you to sleep and, no, you won’t feel anything.’ Daniel’s voice was soft. ‘I spoke to your mum. She’s on her way.’
‘Will you stay with me until she gets here?’
A muscle worked in Daniel’s dark jaw. ‘Are you kidding? You’re wearing half my equipment—and it’s the expensive half. There’s no way I’m letting you out of my sight. We’re going to take you straight to Theatre and get that leg of yours stuck back together in time for Christmas.’ His glaze flickered to his colleague. ‘Are you ready?’
‘You’re coming, too?’ The man looked startled but Daniel’s gaze was cool.
‘I’ll stay with him until he’s under.’
The orthopaedic surgeon picked up the charts and gave a brief nod. ‘All right. Well, you’re obviously needed back here, so let’s move.’
‘If my pregnant patient was eight minutes away three minutes ago then I have five minutes.’ Daniel glanced at his watch. ‘I’ll be back in five minutes.’
He’d been out on an exposed mountainside for eight hours and he had five minutes in which he could have grabbed a hot drink. Instead he was going to accompany a frightened child to the anaesthetic room.
Stella gritted her teeth. All the reasons why she’d fallen in love with Daniel in the first place were still there. Nothing had changed.
‘Go.’ She started clearing Resus. ‘I’ll sort things out here.’
She barely had time to run through another bag of fluid and restock, before the paramedics arrived with the pregnant woman. After listening to the handover by the paramedics, Stella tried to make her patient more comfortable.
Her face was bleeding slightly from several small lacerations and a livid bruise was already forming over one cheekbone. ‘I’m so worried about the baby. We’ve been trying for five years—’ Her voice broke and she rubbed her hand over her swollen abdomen. ‘If anything happens to him I’ll—’
‘We’re going to check you and the baby, Fiona,’ Stella soothed, glancing towards the door as Daniel strode in. ‘This is Dr Buchannan, one of our consultants.’
Fiona looked in astonishment at Daniel’s outdoor clothing and he shrugged.
‘It’s cold in this department,’ he drawled, and she gave a choked laugh.
‘I read an article about you last summer. You’re one of three doctors in the emergency department that volunteer for the mountain rescue team.’
‘That’s right.’ Daniel glanced at the monitor that Stella had connected to the patient, tracking the readings. ‘There’s Sean Nicholson, although we do keep telling him he’s getting a bit too old for tramping up in the hills. And there’s Ben—both of whom are treating other patients, which is why you have me. Technically I’m off duty but there’s no rest for the wicked. I see Stella’s already given you oxygen.’ He turned to Stella. ‘I’d forgotten what it’s like to work with a nurse who is always one step ahead of me.’
Stella’s hands trembled slightly as she attached Fiona to the CTG machine. ‘This will help us get a feel for how your baby is doing.’ She adjusted the elastic until she was satisfied with the reading. ‘Daniel—do you want me to call Obstetrics and get someone down here?’
‘I’ll take a look at her first. Monitors only tell you so much—I learned that lesson as a medical student when the monitor told me a woman wasn’t having contractions. She delivered the baby five minutes later. I was more shocked than she was.’ Daniel took off his jacket, washed his hands and pulled on a pair of gloves. ‘Have you had any problems in the pregnancy, Fiona? Anything you think I should know about?’
If sexual attraction was enough to hold two people together then they would have stuck like glue, Stella thought helplessly, watching the flex of his biceps as he worked.
‘It’s all been really easy.’ Fiona twisted her wedding ring round her finger. ‘I’ve been doing everything by the book. It’s our first baby. And I’m terrified.’ Her voice wobbled. ‘Do you have kids?’
Stella’s gaze met Daniel’s briefly.
‘No.’ There was a sudden coolness to his tone. ‘I don’t.’
‘It changes you,’ Fiona said simply. ‘All I care about is this baby. I suppose that’s part of being a mother.’
Daniel didn’t respond and Stella stayed silent, too.
Marriage, motherhood, maternity—Daniel’s three least favourite topics of conversation. And she should know. They’d had that conversation on numerous memorable occasions. Memorable for all the wrong reasons.
‘It’s natural to be concerned about the baby.’ Daniel spoke the words the woman needed to hear, but Stella sensed that part of him was detached.
‘Babies are surprisingly resilient,’ she reassured the woman. ‘And we’re going to check him very carefully.’
Daniel conducted a thorough examination and Stella knew that he’d shut the conversation out of his mind with ruthless efficiency. He was looking for clinical signs that might suggest a problem. He wasn’t thinking about babies or emotion.
He was palpating Fiona’s abdomen when she gave a little gasp of fright and shifted on the trolley.
‘Oh!’ Her eyes widened with panic. ‘I think I’m bleeding. Oh, God, am I losing it? Please don’t say I’m losing the baby.’
More comfortable with a medical emergency than an emotional one, Daniel was cool and calm as he examined her. ‘Stella—give my brother a call, will you? Tell him I need him down here.’
Meeting his gaze briefly, Stella moved to the phone and spoke to Switchboard.
Fiona put her hand over her eyes and started to cry. ‘I can’t believe I’m bleeding. I wish I’d never left the house. We were going Christmas shopping. I know there’s another three weeks to go but I wanted to get it out of the way in case something happens. And now I’ve made it happen.’ Great tearing sobs shook her body and Stella slipped her arm around the woman’s shoulders, trying to imagine how she’d feel in the same position.
‘You haven’t made anything happen,’ she soothed. ‘You must try and calm down, for the baby’s sake.’
‘If I lose this baby—’
‘Fiona.’ Daniel reached for an IV tray, nothing in his voice betraying the fact that he was concerned. ‘I want you to relax and trust me. My brother is one of the best obstetricians in the country and he will take a look at you.’
‘One of the best?’ Patrick strode into the room, a mocking gleam in his eyes as he looked at Daniel. ‘I’m not one of the best. I’m the best.’
Fiona blinked in shock and Stella sighed.
‘Yes, they’re twins. Don’t worry, you’re not seeing double. Both of them as arrogant as the other.’
Fiona gave a feeble smile. ‘Are they as good as they seem to think they are?’
‘Fortunately, yes.’ Stella adjusted one of the probes. ‘Or maybe I should say unfortunately. I don’t know. It makes them unbearable to be with, but I suppose it’s good for the patients. Patrick? Do you want to take a look at this CTG trace?’
‘I’m looking.’ Patrick stood next to her, studying the trace in silence. ‘All right—so there are a few dips there.’
Stella looked up and found Daniel glancing between her and Patrick. Then he focused on his brother’s profile, so like his own. His jaw tightened, his blue eyes glittered dangerously and Stella felt a rush of trepidation. He’d obviously registered the fact that Patrick hadn’t been surprised to see her.
Patrick looked up and met his brother’s accusing gaze.
They were like a couple of stallions, Stella thought with exasperation, locked in a battle over territory. The interaction lasted less than a few seconds, but the impact was sufficiently powerful to leave her nervous of what was to come.
Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with someone mild and gentle?
Pivoting back to the patient, Daniel fastened a tourniquet around Fiona’s arm. ‘I’m just going to put a cannula in your vein, in case we need to give you some fluid. Can you straighten your arm for me?’
‘Stella—can I have a pen?’ While Daniel set up an IV, Patrick was examining the woman’s abdomen. ‘I want to mark the height of her uterus.’
Stella swiftly provided him with a pen, wishing she’d never accepted Patrick’s offer of accommodation. It was going to cause problems, just as she’d feared. She should have stayed somewhere else.
Then she frowned, cross with herself. The stable was lovely. And she could live anywhere she chose to live. It was none of Daniel’s business.
And if it was difficult for him—well, tough.
He didn’t care, did he?
‘Why are you drawing on me?’ Fiona looked at Patrick anxiously and he slipped the pen into his pocket.
‘You’ve had some blood loss. It’s possible for some of the blood loss to be concealed, trapped behind the uterus. I want to make sure your uterus isn’t bigger than it should be. Dan, is there anything else I should know about? Any neck injury? Spine?’
‘No.’
‘Then I want her nursed in the left lateral position.’
‘Fine. I’m nearly done here.’ Daniel filled the necessary bottles and dropped them on the tray.
Stella stepped forward and helped him connect the IV, the casual brush of his arm against hers sending a shower of sparks over her.
And he noticed her reaction.
His eyes shifted to her face. As a doctor, he was trained to detect changes in the human body and he was a man who knew women. A man who knew her.
‘Everything all right?’
‘Everything is fine,’ she said sweetly, wishing he wasn’t quite so astute. Nothing passed him by. Nothing. And as much as she’d hoped that working together would be smooth and easy, it was turning out to be anything but.
Focusing on the pain that went alongside loving Daniel Buchannan, Stella murmured words of comfort to Fiona and helped her turn on her side.
‘Why do I have to lie like this?’
‘Because lying flat on your back puts pressure on one of your major blood vessels and that’s not good for the baby.’ Patrick checked the baby’s heart rate. ‘That’s better. Thanks, Stella. That’s great.’
Daniel shot him a look. ‘It’s good to have Stella back, isn’t it?’ There was an edge to his tone that wasn’t lost on his brother.
‘Definitely.’ Playing with fire, Patrick smiled. ‘I was so pleased when she called me to talk through her plans.’
Stella threw him an incredulous glance. What was he doing? He appeared to be asking for a black eye for Christmas.
‘You didn’t mention it.’ Daniel adjusted the IV. ‘It must have slipped your mind.’
‘Nothing slips my mind. I just didn’t think you’d be interested.’ Calmly, Patrick checked the monitor. ‘What bloods have you taken?’
‘U&Es, FBC, cross-match, BMG, coagulation screen, rhesus and antibody status and Kleihauer—why? Did I miss something?’
‘No.’ Ignoring the snap in his brother’s tone, Patrick winked at the patient. ‘Now he’ll be unbearable.’
Fiona shifted the oxygen mask slightly. ‘Twins, both of you doctors.’ She sounded amazed. ‘One of you is an emergency specialist and one of you is an obstetrician?’
‘That’s right. My brother is the emergency specialist.’ Patrick looked at Daniel. ‘The work suits his personality. Quick and dirty. All superficial, no depth or emotion.’
Daniel’s firm mouth flickered into a smile. ‘That’s how I prefer it.’
While they bantered, the two brothers worked together seamlessly, exchanging information, conducting tests. Then Patrick moved to the side of the trolley and put his hand on Fiona’s shoulder.
‘Fiona, I think there could be some concealed bleeding behind your uterus.’ He spoke gently, knowing that the news he was giving wasn’t going to be well received. ‘At the moment everything is fine and I’m not going to interfere, but I want to transfer you to the labour ward, just to be safe. We can monitor you there and if we need to intervene, we can.’
Fiona shifted on the trolley. ‘What’s causing the bleeding?’
‘It’s possible that a small part of the placenta has come away from the uterus—we call it an abruption. I want to keep you in hospital for now, see how things develop.’
Fiona swallowed. ‘And if it gets worse?’
‘Then I will deliver your baby.’
‘But the baby isn’t due until January.’ Panic drove her voice up a pitch. ‘I have another six weeks to go.’
‘All the indications are that the baby is fine,’ Patrick said calmly. ‘And thirty-four weeks is early, that’s true, but not so early that I’d be worried. We have an excellent special care baby unit here—we call it the SCBU—but at thirty-four weeks your baby might not need any extra help. Let’s see how you go. My plan is to keep him inside you as long as possible.’
Fiona’s face crumpled and she started to cry again. ‘But this wasn’t my plan. I’ve been reading all the books—I’ve gone to all the classes—I know exactly how I want my labour to be.’
Stella picked up a box of tissues, about to intervene, but Patrick took Fiona’s hand in his. ‘It’s hard when things don’t go according to plan,’ he said gruffly. ‘I really understand that. It happened with Posy, my youngest, and it shook me up. Nightmare. Nature has a way of keeping us all on our toes, but all that really matters is that the baby is safe, Fiona. Remember that.’
‘Babies can die if they’re premature.’
‘There is no evidence that your baby is in trouble. And from now on I’m going to be watching you.’ Patrick pulled a couple of tissues from the box Stella was holding and handed them to Fiona. ‘Once you have kids, life rarely goes according to plan. Chaos is part of the fun. Or that’s what I tell myself when I’m tripping over children, kittens and unwrapped Christmas presents.’
Stella felt a lump in her throat. Tripping over children, kittens and unwrapped Christmas presents sounded like paradise to her. ‘Is there anyone else I can call for you, Fiona?’ Stella yanked her mind back from its fruitless journey towards a dead end. ‘Your husband is just having a few stitches in his head and then I’ll bring him to wherever you are.’
‘I keep thinking that this is all my fault. Perhaps I shouldn’t have worn the seat belt—’
‘Wearing a seat belt is the right thing to do,’ Daniel said firmly. ‘Contrary to popular opinion, wearing a seat belt does lower the risk of serious injury. Fiona, just relax and trust us. Patrick will make whatever decision needs to be made and it will be the right one, believe me.’
Patrick lifted his eyebrow. ‘You’re saying I’m always right?’
Despite her tears, Fiona gave a choked laugh. ‘Are they always like this?’
‘No, sometimes they’re really bad,’ Stella said cheerfully, squeezing Fiona’s hand. ‘I’ll come with you up to the ward. Then I’ll go and check on your husband. He must be worried sick.’
‘He feels horribly guilty, but it wasn’t his fault. The roads are lethal.’
‘I’ll go and see him as soon as we’ve settled you upstairs,’ Stella assured her. ‘Is there anyone else I can call?’
Fiona closed her eyes. ‘My mum? No, not my mum. You’ll just worry her. No one for the time being. But thanks. You’ve all been really kind.’
‘Let’s get you upstairs.’ Patrick moved the trolley towards the door and Daniel’s gaze settled on his face.
‘I want to talk to you.’
Patrick smiled. ‘I bet you do. But I’m busy, so it’s going to have to wait.’
Daniel strode down the corridor, his tension levels in the danger zone after six hours of working shoulder to shoulder with Stella. Six hours of torture. At one point she’d leaned forward to pass him an instrument and he’d detected the faint smell of roses. Knowing that it was the shampoo she always used had set up a chain reaction in his brain. Thinking about the shampoo had made him think about her hair, long and loose. And thinking about her hair long and loose had made him think about her in his bed. And thinking about her in his bed had—
Daniel ruthlessly deleted that thought from his mind, but it immediately popped back again, taunting and teasing his senses until he gave a low growl of frustration, oblivious to the pretty nurse who gazed at him as she hurried past.
Without slackening his stride, he took the six flights of stairs up to the obstetric unit, too impatient to wait for the lift.
Nodding briefly to a consultant he knew, he made straight for his brother’s office and pushed open the door.
‘You knew Stella was coming back and you didn’t tell me?’
Patrick leaned back in his chair and lifted an eyebrow. ‘Next time, knock. I could have had a naked woman in here.’
Daniel planted his hands on the edge of his brother’s desk, struggling with his temper. ‘Damn it, Patrick—just how long have you been communicating with my ex-girlfriend?’
Patrick closed the file he’d been reading. ‘Your ex-fiancée,’ he said with gentle emphasis, ‘and I’ve been “communicating” with her since you unceremoniously dumped her. On Christmas Eve. Not exactly the present she’d been hoping for, I’m sure.’
Daniel felt a sudden rush of cold. ‘Why are you bringing that up now? That’s history.’
‘If it’s history, why are you standing in my office threatening me?’
Daniel dragged his hand through his hair. ‘I didn’t dump her. She dumped me.’
Patrick stood up abruptly, impatience making his eye flash a deep blue. ‘After you told her you wouldn’t marry her.’
‘Not wouldn’t—couldn’t. It isn’t that I don’t want to get married,’ Daniel said hoarsely, ‘I do. But I can’t. I just can’t do it. I would make a lousy husband and a terrible father and I won’t do that to a child.’ Sweat tingled on his brow as he thought of how close he’d come to breaking his promise to himself. Only Stella could have driven him to that. ‘I can’t be what she wants me to be. I did it for her.’
‘Funny. She didn’t appear that grateful last time I looked.’
‘She should be grateful. Better to let her down now than in five years’ time.’ Or at least, that’s what he’d told himself when he’d driven the scalpel through her heart.
Trying to dispel that image, Daniel pressed his fingers into the bridge of his nose and Patrick sighed.
‘Why would you have let her down?’
‘Being a mother is really important to Stella. Sometimes I think it’s the only thing that matters to her.’ Trying to get a grip on his emotions, Daniel clamped his hands over the edge of Patrick’s desk. ‘And I knew I couldn’t be what she wanted me to be. She has this picture in her head—the perfect family. Mum, Dad, lots of kids—probably a dog or two.’ He gritted his teeth. ‘And I’m not the guy in that picture. Fatherhood is the one job I’m not going to try. You mess that up, you take people with you.’
‘I happen to think you wouldn’t mess it up,’ Patrick replied calmly, ‘but I know you believe it. Which is why I didn’t knock your head off two years ago.’
Daniel straightened. ‘So you agree I did the right thing.’
‘No. But I know you think you did. And I didn’t want to watch you self-destruct and take Stella with you. She is a rare, special person. The sort of woman who would be by your side no matter what life throws at you. She wants marriage and a family—and she’ll make someone a fantastic wife and mother.’
‘And is that “someone” going to be you?’ Anger roared through him like fire through a parched forest and Daniel strode around the desk and grabbed his brother by the shoulders. ‘You’re in need of a wife and a mother for your children—is Stella going to fill that slot? Is that why she’s back?’
Patrick didn’t flinch. ‘You’ve just said you’re not interested. Why would you care?’
‘I never said I didn’t care.’ Daniel let his hands drop, stunned by his own reaction. Since when had he picked fights with his twin? ‘I just don’t think you’re the right man for Stella.’
‘I don’t think you’re qualified to judge. Relationships aren’t your speciality, are they?’
Daniel stared at his brother for a long moment and then breathed out slowly. ‘You’re not having a relationship, are you? You’re just winding me up.’
‘Why would that wind you up? You decided you’re not good for Stella. Right or wrong, that means she’s free to be with another man. And with her long legs and her sweet nature, they’re going to be beating her door down. You’d better get used to it.’
Sweat pricking his forehead, Daniel tried to imagine getting used seeing Stella with another man. ‘That’s fine. No problem. I just don’t want her mixed up with someone unsuitable. She’s pretty innocent.’
‘She went out with you for two years,’ Patrick reminded him dryly, ‘so she can’t be that innocent.’
Thinking about the steam and sizzle that had characterised their relationship, Daniel suddenly felt a rush of dangerous heat. The thought of Stella with another man made his stomach churn. ‘I just don’t want some man messing her around.’
‘Like you did? Don’t worry—if she survived you, she’ll survive anyone.’ Patrick strolled back to his desk and sat down. He took a set of notes from a pile and reached for a pencil. ‘I need to do some work.’
‘Why is she back?’
‘Obviously she’s got over you and felt able to come home. She has friends here.’ Patrick scanned some results, scribbled something onto the notes and dropped them in a tray ready to be collected. ‘A life.’
A life that didn’t include him. ‘And you’re one of those friends?’
‘Of course. I’ve known her as long as you have. She was my friend, as well as yours. She made Christmas for us that year you and Carly had your own mini-meltdowns.’ He looked at Daniel, a warning in his gaze. ‘I’ll never forget how she picked herself up and got on with things. Her heart was breaking but she still managed to dance around the house wearing antlers to make my son laugh.’
‘She was always good with children. That was our problem. All Stella ever wanted was children.’ And children were the last thing he wanted. Daniel stared at the row of photographs of his niece and nephew that Patrick had hung on the wall. Alfie and Posy giggling on a sledge. The two of them covered in ice cream at the beach. Posy in a backpack, grabbing Patrick’s hair. ‘Those two human beings are totally reliant on you. If you screw up, they suffer.’
‘Thanks for that vote of confidence.’
‘Doesn’t it terrify you?’
‘No. I love them. And I don’t intend to screw up.’ Patrick toyed with the pencil. ‘It doesn’t have to be the way it was for us, Dan.’
It was something they rarely mentioned and Daniel felt the filthy sludge of the past slide into his brain. ‘Christmas was the worst time, do you remember?’
The pencil in Patrick’s lean fingers snapped in two. ‘Yes.’
‘I counted the days until it was over.’
‘I counted them with you.’ His brother’s casual tone didn’t
fool him and suddenly Daniel wanted to know.
‘So how have you managed to put it behind you? With that grim example of parenting shining in your head, how do you do it?’
‘I love my children.’ A faint smile touched his brother’s mouth. ‘And I suppose I treat our childhood as an education in how not to parent. As long as I’m doing everything opposite, then I’m pretty confident that it will turn out all right.’
‘You’re divorced.’
‘Precisely. If Mum and Dad had divorced, they might have been happy.’ Patrick threw the broken bits of pencil into the bin. ‘I don’t subscribe to the school of thought that says a miserably unhappy couple have to stay together for the sake of the children. Why are we talking about this? What does this have to do with Stella?’
‘I’m reminding you why I don’t want marriage.’
‘I don’t need reminding.’
‘I did her a favour.’
‘You truly believe that, don’t you?’ Patrick gave a humourless laugh. ‘Dan, you proposed to her and then broke her heart. What I don’t understand is why you asked her to marry you in the first place, given your serious allergy to that condition.’
Daniel ran his hand over the back of his neck, remembering that night. ‘It was Christmas. I was crazy about her. It was what she wanted.’
‘But not what you wanted.’
‘For a brief moment I thought I did,’ Daniel confessed in a raw tone. ‘I thought maybe, just maybe, I could do it, but when your Carly—’ Breaking off, Daniel threw his brother a glance of apology but Patrick shrugged.
‘Don’t mince your words. When Carly walked out on me, it reminded you that relationships are difficult, fragile things.’
‘And Alfie cried himself to sleep at night for months!’ Daniel’s eyes slid to the photographs on the wall. ‘I never want to do that to a child.’
Patrick eyed the stack of work on his desk. ‘Could we talk about this in my kitchen over a beer later? Or was there something else you wanted to say?’
Daniel tried to clear his head. ‘You should have told me that she was coming back.’
‘I didn’t think you’d be interested. You’re dating that sleek, sexy solicitor, remember? You’ve moved on.’ Patrick closed the file he’d been reading and placed it in a tray at the front of his desk ready to be collected.
Glaring at his brother, Daniel wondered how it was possible to love a person and hate them at the same time. ‘Well, how long is she back for? Where is she living?’
‘As far as I know, she’s back for good.’ Patrick leaned back in his chair and looked his brother in the eye. ‘And she’s living with me.’
Chapter Two
STELLA walked into the treatment room and stopped the moment she saw Daniel. Her stomach flipped and her heart did a crazy dance. ‘Sorry, I just needed to pick up a dressing pack.’ Depressed by the effect he had on her, she backed towards the door and then noticed that he was putting an ice pack on his knuckles. ‘Have you hurt yourself? What happened?’
‘I hit my hand on something.’
Forgetting her own feelings for a moment, Stella stared at his profile, sensing his boiling anger. She knew him so well. Understood his moods, his volatility and his restless, brilliant mind. She remembered Patrick once telling her that if Daniel hadn’t suddenly decided to be a doctor, he probably would have ended up in gaol. ‘You hit your hand? Oh, God.’ Her stomach lurched as the truth hit her. ‘You’ve seen Patrick, haven’t you? Please tell me you didn’t—’
‘No.’ He growled the word angrily as he flexed his fingers. ‘I didn’t. Believe it or not, I have no intention of adding grievous bodily harm to my list of sins. I punched the wall.’
‘Oh.’ Relief poured over her. ‘What had the wall done wrong?’ But even while she was making a joke of it, her thoughts were spinning all over the place. This was because of her, she had no doubt about that. And part of her felt light-headed that her arrival had destabilised him because it meant that he still cared. And another part was angry with herself because that reaction was so infuriatingly illogical. She didn’t want him to care for her and she didn’t want to care for him.
She’d been there. Done that. Tested their relationship to the limits.
Watched it snap.
The glance he threw in her direction was dark and threatening. ‘This isn’t funny.’
‘I agree.’ If they couldn’t put the past behind them it certainly wasn’t going to be funny. Crisp and professional, Stella walked over to him and took his hand in hers, examining the bruising. But she found herself thinking about the strength in those fingers—the skill she knew he possessed. Skill in the resuscitation room. Skill in the bedroom. ‘That’s a nasty bruise.’ Taking the ice pack from him, she repositioned it so that it rested on the worst of the bruising. ‘I suppose I should be relieved that you’ve learned to hit the wall and not your brother, otherwise I would have had both of you in here and that would take some explaining. Are you going to have this X-rayed?’
‘What for? Nothing’s broken.’ There was a rough note to his voice that told her he was as aware of her as she was of him. ‘Who’s the doctor here?’
‘You are.’ She was tempted to slide the ice pack down the front of her scrub suit to cool her overheated body. ‘But you don’t appear to be thinking clearly.’ And she wasn’t thinking clearly, either, with him so close to her. Suddenly holding his hand didn’t seem like such a clever idea. The sight of those dark hairs shading his strong forearms was enough to make her think things she shouldn’t be thinking and the sudden flare of sexual awareness was like a punch to her senses. Stella let go of his hand. ‘I’ll get you a bandage.’
‘I don’t need a bandage.’
‘Then maybe you need an MRI to look at brain function,’ she said tartly, her tone reflecting her frustration with herself. ‘Going around hitting walls isn’t exactly the behaviour of a consultant.’
‘I wasn’t a consultant when I punched the wall. I was a man. Dammit, Stella.’ He caught her chin in his undamaged hand, turning her face to his, his movements strong and confident, his tone raw and demanding. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?’
The way he touched her rattled her self-control. ‘I didn’t think you needed to know.’
‘But you told my brother.’
‘Yes.’
‘You’re living with him.’
Stella moved her head but he had her trapped. ‘Not with him. In the stable. Is that why you tried to knock a hole in the wall?’ Watching his reaction, she shook her head in disbelief. ‘For goodness’ sake, Daniel! What is the matter with you? I’ve seen you handle drunks and drug addicts with calm and patience. I’ve seen you ice cold, resuscitating a newborn baby when the other doctors in the room were all shaking hands and sweating brows. You have more control than any other man I know. And more intelligence.’
‘He said you were living with him.’
‘In the stable! Can’t you tell when he’s winding you up?’
Daniel gave a grunt and let his hand drop. ‘My brother knows which buttons to push.’
‘You two don’t change.’ But she knew how close they were and felt a flash of guilt for causing friction. ‘There’s nothing between Patrick and me.’
‘It’s two years since Carly walked out. He’s ready for another relationship.’ His tone was rough. ‘If that’s what the two of you want, I’m relaxed about it.’
Relaxed?
Stella decided not to remind him that his knuckles had required an ice pack. It was natural, she told herself, that he’d feel uncomfortable about her being with Patrick. It was just too close for comfort. He was probably worried that he’d be tripping over her every time he called in on his brother. ‘Is that what you’re buying him for Christmas? A relationship?’
Daniel flexed his fingers, testing the injury. ‘I think we both know relationships aren’t my speciality. And you still haven’t answered my question. Why are you back?’
‘I’m back because this is where I want to live, Daniel! I love the Lake District—I love the hospital. My friends are here. The only reason I went away in the first place was because I just couldn’t work alongside you after everything that happened. But I’ve moved on.’ She hoped she sounded convincing. ‘And so have you. If you’re worried about awkward moments, then don’t be. There won’t be any.’
‘Have you moved on?’
‘Of course.’ Stella thought of ‘Caring of Cumbria’.
‘That Christmas two years ago—’
‘Let’s not talk about it. There’s no point.’ Surprised and unsettled by his unexpected reference to their highly emotional break-up, Stella decided that the best thing was to show him everything was fine. ‘I hear you’re seeing someone. That’s good. I’m pleased for you.’
Daniel discarded the ice pack. ‘You are?’
‘Of course. I only ever wanted you to be happy. I’m seeing someone, too.’
Daniel inhaled sharply and his eyes narrowed to two dangerous slits. ‘Who?’
Stella suddenly realised that she didn’t want to tell him she was using a dating agency. Why did that feel embarrassing? She didn’t know, but it did. ‘Just a guy.’
‘So you don’t know him very well.’ ‘That’s why we’re dating. To get to know each other.’
‘How long have you known him?’
Stella was starting to wish she’d never begun the conversation. ‘A couple of months.’ Which was true, she reasoned. They’d been emailing each other since October.
‘What does he do?’
‘What does it matter?’ She stared at him, exasperated and confused. ‘Why do you care?’
‘I’m just making conversation. Finding out what’s been happening to you.’ But the expression in his eyes said differently. ‘Isn’t that what friends do?’
‘Yes, but we’re not friends, Dan,’ Stella said softly. ‘We haven’t been in touch for two years and I think we both know that was the right decision.’ Staying in touch would have been like squeezing lemon juice onto an open wound.
‘You don’t seem to have any problems being friends with my brother.’
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