Daddy's Little Memento
Teresa Carpenter
“Have you thought about my proposal?”
She’d like to tell him no, to pretend her every thought hadn’t revolved around him for the last twenty-four hours. Unfortunately, she’d never been that good an actress. “I’m still thinking.”
A sensual smile tilted up one corner of his mouth. “Perhaps you need more persuading.” His husky tone suggested what form his influence would take.
The heat spiraling through her body tempted her to vacillate just so she could feel his mouth against her for real. Last night’s dream had left her unfulfilled. Given half a chance, Alex would take care of that problem.
At a price.
She understood the unspoken terms. Marriage or nothing.
Dear Reader,
April showers are bringing flowers—and a soul-stirring bouquet of dream-come-true stories from Silhouette Romance!
Red Rose needs men! And it’s up to Ellie Donahue to put the town-ladies’ plans into action—even if it means enticing her secret love to return to his former home. Inspired by classic legends, Myrna Mackenzie’s new miniseries, THE BRIDES OF RED ROSE, begins with Ellie’s tale, in The Pied Piper’s Bride (SR #1714).
Bestselling author Judy Christenberry brings you another Wild West story in her FROM THE CIRCLE K miniseries. In The Last Crawford Bachelor (SR #1715), lawyer Michael Crawford—the family’s last single son—meets his match…and is then forced to live with her on the Circle K!
And this lively bunch of spring stories wouldn’t be complete without Teresa Carpenter’s Daddy’s Little Memento (SR #1716). School nurse Samantha Dell reunites her infant nephew with his handsome father, only to learn that if she wants to retain custody then she’s got to say, “I do”! And then there’s Colleen Faulkner’s Barefoot and Pregnant? (SR #1717), in which career-woman Elise Montgomery has everything a girl could want—except the man of her dreams. Will she find a husband where she least expects him?
All the best,
Mavis C. Allen
Associate Senior Editor
Daddy’s Little Memento
Teresa Carpenter
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
In loving memory of Charles Joseph Carpenter.
Daddy, you’ll always be my hero.
TERESA CARPENTER
is a fifth-generation Californian who currently lives amid the chaos of her family in San Diego. She loves living there because she can travel for thirty minutes and be either in the mountains or at the beach. She began her love affair with romances in the seventh grade when she talked her mother into buying her a category romance; she and romance have been together ever since.
Teresa has worked in the banking and mortgage industry for fifteen years. When not working or writing, she likes to spend time with her nieces and nephew, go to the movies and read. A member of RWA/San Diego, she has participated on the chapter board in numerous positions, including president, VP Programs, newsletter editor and conference coordinator. She is especially proud of having received the chapter’s prestigious Barbara Faith Award.
Dear Samantha,
If you’re reading this letter, it means I’m gone and it’s only you and Gabe now. I hope you’ll find comfort in each other, as you both gave me comfort when I needed it most.
How I’ve envied you your strength and sense of purpose. I was weak, always so weak. And yes, I made mistakes.
You were right. I should have told Gabe’s father about him. But he couldn’t miss someone he never knew, and I needed Gabe so much. He’s the only thing I ever did right in my life. He’s my heart and my soul. I couldn’t give him up.
But no more stalling, Gabe’s father is Alexander Sullivan of Paradise Pines, California. I have no proof to offer you beyond a mother’s knowledge. He made a point of being careful; we both did. But Gabe was meant to be. I’ll always be grateful for the time I had with my son.
I rest easy knowing you’ll always be there for Gabe.
Love,
Sarah
Contents
Chapter One (#u3921dbe2-ca3b-5b9c-a418-5509f8a8e038)
Chapter Two (#u327f38f1-06d4-58f8-b962-e93b264c9e84)
Chapter Three (#u4942c3db-7d50-5ed5-a4d6-e2d8b14044cc)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One
Alex Sullivan was a man who didn’t appreciate surprises.
He believed in rules. Being the oldest of six boys, he’d learned early in life that rules created control from chaos. Being the principal of Paradise Pines High School, he knew control meant the difference between order and anarchy.
So when he opened his door on Sunday morning to find Samantha Dell, the new school nurse, standing on the front deck of his mountain home with a baby in her arms he saw trouble in tight jeans.
“Good morning, Alex.” She graced him with an overbright smile.
“Hello, Samantha,” he greeted the leggy blonde, fighting to control the quick surge of wanting that hit every time he looked into her lively green eyes.
He had a strict personal policy against dating colleagues, a policy she challenged twice a week. Technically, she didn’t work for him, but as the district nurse, she spent two days a week at his high school, which in his mind put her off-limits.
And if that wasn’t enough to put a damper on his desire, the chubby-cheeked kid she held would be.
With some regret he pulled his customary defenses in place and lifted his glance from the sweet curve of her hips up over a pale pink sweater cropped at the waist to her anxious jade-green gaze. Then, almost objectively, he studied the dark-haired, blue-eyed baby in her arms, wondering what brought the pair to his home on a cold January morning.
“Alex, I need to talk to you.” Nerves wore at the edges of Samantha’s smile. She cleared her throat. “May I come in?”
“Sure.”
He glanced down at his T-shirt and shorts still damp from his morning run. Hardly ideal for entertaining. Sundays were his day of excess. He slept an extra hour, ran an extra mile and drank an extra cup of coffee or two while reading the paper. Sunday nights meant dinner at Gram’s. Between the paper and dinner he occupied himself with everything and nothing, whatever struck his fancy.
If he was occasionally lonely, most of the time he appreciated the peace and quiet of his life.
Samantha’s expression warned him his peace was about to be destroyed.
“Come on in.” He stepped aside. He’d seen her with the boy, who couldn’t be more than a year old, around town, but Alex always managed to keep his distance. “Is this your son?”
In the entry she turned to face him, her arms tightening around the little boy until he wiggled in her grasp.
“No. He’s yours,” she said in a rush.
Disbelief rooted him in place. She couldn’t mean that the way it sounded. At a loss, he looked from her to the baby then back at her. “Mine, how?”
She blinked as if surprised by his question, but she quickly recovered. “Yours, as in you fathered him.”
“That’s not possible.” Denial came first, sharp and sure. He always, always protected himself. “I only met you four months ago.”
“I’m not his mother, but you are his father.” Her voice was quietly earnest, compassion lit her direct gaze. “I know this must come as a surprise.”
“Try shock.”
She was serious. This wasn’t some kind of joke. Sudden panic sent adrenaline coursing through his blood. His head went up, his shoulders went back and he stood braced to fight. He felt as if his whole life was being threatened.
Samantha reacted to his aggressive stance by taking a large step back and eyeing him with caution.
Seeing he’d frightened her, he fought for control. Determined to rule his emotions, he wiped the frown from his face and waved her into the living room.
After a brief hesitation, she led the way into the next room then perched on the edge of his black-leather couch and settled the baby on her lap. She swept an affectionate hand over downy-soft brown hair. The baby turned to grin at her then stuffed two fingers in his mouth.
Alex chose the matching chair several feet away. In the four months he’d known her, he’d found her to be intelligent, dedicated and friendly with most people, if a little distant with him. He figured her reserve came from the same belief he held that you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure.
Eyeing the little guy in the red T-shirt, miniature overalls and baby Reeboks, he didn’t know what to think.
All he saw when he looked into those baby-blue eyes was years of responsibility. As the oldest, Alex had done his baby duty and helped with his five younger brothers when he’d still been a child himself. He’d been fourteen when his parents died in an earthquake in South America, making him the man of the family. They were supposed to have been on a buying trip for the family jewelry store but they’d been on an archeological excavation instead. They’d paid the price for playing when they should have been working. But Alex and his brothers were the ones who suffered.
To this day sorrow at their loss mixed with feelings of resentment.
Thank God for Gram, she took them in, provided a home and worked overtime to hold the business together. Alex did his best to hold the family together.
Make no mistake, he loved his brothers. He also loved kids, as principal of the high school he had to, but the thought of going home to one after spending eight hours with four-hundred teenagers blew his mind.
Not that he believed for a millisecond the boy was his.
“Who’s the kid, Samantha?” he demanded. Again. Hoping for a different explanation, one that made sense.
“Gabe is eleven months old.” She licked her bottom lip, the gesture revealing an underlying uncertainty. One she tried to hide by lifting her chin and meeting his gaze straight on. “He’s my nephew.” She tensed as if bracing herself. “And he is your son.”
He pushed to his feet. He wished she’d stop saying that.
“I don’t have any children. By choice.” And by God’s will.
With a pang, he pushed the thought away.
He saw he’d startled her, but she quickly recovered. “You may not have meant to, but you did. According to my sister’s letter, you met at a Caribbean resort the summer before last.”
She named the resort on St. Thomas where he’d vacationed nearly two years ago. A quiver of dread ran down his spine. So she had the time and place right, but that didn’t mean the boy was his.
“What’s your sister’s name? Why didn’t she tell me herself?”
“Her name was Sarah Travis. We were half sisters. She died in an automobile accident six months ago.”
Sarah. He had the impression of flashing green eyes, short sassy curls and a wanton wildness in bed. She’d been just what he needed to take his mind off one of the darkest moments in his life.
“I remember your sister. I’m sorry to hear of her death. But you’re mistaken about Gabe. He’s not my son.”
“Duck.” Gabe pointed a chubby finger toward a marble statue of birds in flight. “Duck. Duck.”
“Pretty birdies.” Samantha pulled the baby’s hand to her mouth and pretended to bite his finger, then kissed the mock injury. Gabe laughed and stuck his finger in her mouth. She repeated the game then turned her attention back to Alex. Her love for the little boy showed in her tender handling of him even as she pursued the serious conversation.
“My sister was a bit of a free spirit, but she didn’t lie. In fact, she refused to reveal who you were while she was alive. It wasn’t until after she passed away that I found a letter in her safe-deposit box naming you as Gabe’s father.”
“No disrespect to the dead, but your sister was wrong.” He paced, his agitation requiring a release. “We only spent two nights together, and I used protection. I always use protection.”
Samantha lifted a darkened brow. “You’re the principal of a high school, you know as well as I do the only one-hundred-percent effective birth control is abstinence. Condoms can break or fail.” The spark in her green eyes warned Alex she wouldn’t listen to any criticism of her sister. She cleared her throat then continued. “You are Gabe’s father.”
Alex rubbed at the ache building in his left temple. He wasn’t convinced, but she obviously believed what she told him. Which brought him to his next burning question.
“You’ve been in Paradise Pines for four months. Why are you just telling me now? Come to that, why didn’t your sister tell me when she found out she was pregnant?”
Pink bloomed in her cheeks, and she busied herself with Gabe’s clothes, straightening the overall straps over the red shirt and refolding the cuffs of his socks. Gabe put up with the fussing for about twenty seconds before bucking his small body, demanding to be put down. In his struggle, his hand caught in the neck of her sweater dragging it down.
Alex’s breath hitched at the sight of cream lace cupping creamier flesh. Samantha quickly righted the garment, flashing him a self-conscious look. No need. He’d already noticed her trim little figure, and she had nothing to be embarrassed about.
She tried to calm Gabe, but he bucked harder and squealed, fighting her efforts.
For a moment, Alex’s gaze connected with the child’s blue eyes. Sullivan blue? His will and determination certainly matched that of any Sullivan.
“Let him down,” Alex urged.
Samantha sent a doubtful look around the room at the glass-and-chrome tables, a high-tech entertainment center and the book-lined floor-to-ceiling shelves. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Can he walk?”
“Not yet, but he’s getting braver every day.”
“Let him down. I’m sure we can catch him before he does damage to himself or anything in the room.” He resumed his seat, leaving the space open for the kid.
Setting Gabe on his butt in the middle of the floor, she pulled a whiffle ball from her purse for him to play with. She gathered the scattered magazines and videos on the coffee table into a stack in the middle then resumed her seat on the edge of the couch. After a moment, she slid Alex a sidelong look before finally answering his question.
“You have to understand ours isn’t the most impressive family tree,” she said with a total lack of emotion that spoke volumes. “My father died when I was four, my mother when I was nineteen. Sarah’s father left. Seven months before she was born. My mother wasn’t a woman who found it easy to be alone. Men came into our lives, but they didn’t stay.
“Sarah was twelve years old when mom died, leaving her in my care. I did the best I could, but between college and work I couldn’t give Sarah all the attention she needed. By the time she met you, Sarah desperately needed to be needed. And she’d decided a baby would fulfill that need.”
Alex didn’t know how to respond to her revealing confession, because regardless of the sad circumstances of her life—Sarah’s life—he hadn’t heard an acceptable reason for not telling him he’d fathered a child.
Her expression apologetic, Samantha explained. “I’m sorry, but Sarah never intended to tell you. She went to the island with the intention of getting pregnant.” She stopped, cleared her throat. Then she set her chin as if coming to a decision. “In the letter she left she said you told her you didn’t want children, so she felt no need to tell you.”
Shock froze Alex in place. Fury pumped blood through his veins so fast rational thought became impossible. Not again. Damn it, no, not again.
He felt as if an essential part of him had been ripped out, stolen, used.
When he didn’t speak, Samantha answered the second part of his question. “Perhaps I should have told you sooner. But it took a while to get settled and for Gabe and me to develop a routine. And I needed to get to know you.”
Already angry, he resented the implied insult. He narrowed his eyes and pinned her with a cold glare. “Are you saying I had to pass some kind of test?”
She shrugged but made no apology. “From the moment I found out she was pregnant I urged Sarah to notify the baby’s father. She resisted until the end. When Gabe suddenly came into my care and the decision became mine, I felt I had to honor my first instinct to contact you.”
“But?”
“But,” her tone became defensive, “now he’s my responsibility and his welfare is my first concern.”
“Meaning?” Alex consciously relaxed his clenched jaw. How crazy was it to be angry that she hadn’t told him sooner about the child he denied was his?
“Meaning, I believe no father is better than an abusive father.”
He leaned forward in his chair. “It happens I agree with you. What bothers me is it took you four months to decide I don’t hurt little kids.”
“Of course it didn’t take four months—Gabe, no.” The baby had crawled to the coffee table, hoisted himself up and was happily slapping the glass. “He’s getting antsy. I’d better go.”
Alex watched in disbelief as she rose, picked up Gabe and headed for the door.
“Wait.” He followed hot on her heels. “Why did you come here today? What do you want?”
She stopped in the open door, her expression no longer anxious but relieved. “I came to tell you about your son. I hope you’ll want to be part of his life. What happens next is up to you.” When he had no answer to that, she turned away. “Goodbye.”
He continued to watch her walk away, stunned into speechlessness.
The boy had the last word. He looked at Alex over his aunt’s shoulder with solemn blue eyes much like Alex’s own and said, “Bye-bye.”
“Well that didn’t go as badly as I’d feared.” Samantha snuggled Gabe against her chest and kissed his dark curls as she descended the deck steps. “Disbelief and shock were expected. But he didn’t deny knowing your mom and he didn’t throw us out. That’s good.”
“Mama.” Gabe grinned and patted her cheek.
Mama. Her heart twisted every time he used the word. She felt like a fake, as if she were stealing her sister’s place in the world. Every day she did her best to keep Sarah alive for Gabe. But because it was easiest for him, Samantha answered to mama.
“I probably should have told him about you sooner, but we needed the time together, didn’t we, sweetheart.” Digging into her purse, she pulled out her keys and hit the unlock button on her alarm pad.
“In you go.” She opened the back door of her Taurus and fit Gabe into his car seat. After snapping him in and handing him his toy giraffe, she crouched in the open door.
“We’ll give your father some time and see what happens. He’s a decent guy. I know he cares about his family and his students, so how can he resist you?” Gabe giggled when she bussed his nose. “We did what we came to do. The rest is up to him. Raising your mother alone was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I’m not too proud to say I need help.”
“Man?” Gabe yawned.
“Right.” She smiled and chucked him under the chin. “Your dad’s the man all right. I hope he comes through because, from what I remember, having a daddy was one of the best things in the world.”
Samantha’s biggest regret was not remembering her father better. Mustache kisses, unconditional love and being safe, that’s what she remembered. No wonder her mom had missed him so much.
“Samantha.”
Startled she stood and spun to find Alex standing on the deck above her. He appeared larger than life with his broad shoulders silhouetted against the gray morning sky. His features were shadowed, hiding his expression, but his dark hair showed signs of his frustration, actually standing on end.
She felt herself pale as she worried, had he heard her talking to Gabe?
Thrusting his hands in his pockets, Alex said, “I want a DNA test. I’ll pick you and Gabe up tomorrow at four.”
She disliked his autocratic tone, but she didn’t protest. His asking for the test showed his willingness to believe. Okay, it could also be considered an opportunity to disprove her claim, but she preferred to be positive.
Truthfully, it was more than she’d hoped for so soon. So let him be demanding. Gabe and she had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
“We’ll be ready.”
Samantha eyed Alex who brooded in the corner of the exam room. He stood, arms crossed, shoulder propped against the wall, trying to appear relaxed and failing. His pale complexion and tapping foot betrayed his unease.
Like father, like son. Gabe’s inability to sit still in her lap showed his tension as they all waited for the doctor.
“Are you okay?” she asked Alex, knowing many people had an aversion to visiting the doctor.
He arched an eyebrow with forced nonchalance. “I’m fine.”
“We don’t have to do this you know. You could take my word Gabe is your son.”
He actually hesitated before shaking his head. “I think it’s best we know for certain.”
“Mama.” Gabe fussed. He twisted in her arms turning to face her, but when she gathered him close, he pushed against her in a bid to get down.
“No, Gabe, you have to stay with me. It shouldn’t be long before the doctor is here.” The apprehension in the room getting to her, she glanced at Alex standing in his corner. “Will it?”
“He’ll be here soon.”
So he’d said twenty minutes ago. If Alex had allowed the nurse to gather the DNA sample, they’d have been done and gone by now. Heck, she could have done the job herself with him as a witness. But no, he had to have his doctor friend do the deed. He didn’t trust anyone else.
Fine. With Gabe’s future at stake she accepted the need for precautions and exactness.
Still, Samantha gritted her teeth, seeking patience. Even understanding the need to know, it was hard to stay calm when Gabe’s wiggling and whining made every minute seem like ten.
“Look at the boat, Gabe.” Hoping to distract the baby, she pointed to the large framed photograph of a sailboat on the wall. “See the boat.”
Gabe stilled. He looked from her face to the picture. “Bo.”
“Yes. Boat.” Thrilled at his new word, she kissed him. “Good boy. Soon we’ll go to the beach like I promised, and I’ll show you the real boats on the water.”
“I have a boat.” The low words came from Alex’s corner.
Samantha sent him a surprised look. Was he just making conversation to distract himself, or was he issuing an invitation?
Seeing the blank look he aimed at the test kit, she had her answer. Neither she nor Gabe would be zipping across the waves anytime soon. Which in no way detracted from Gabe’s triumph.
“Boat is a new word for him,” she boasted.
“Bo? That was boat?”
She grinned. “Sometimes you have to use a little imagination.”
“Ah.”
The door opened and the doctor walked in. Tall, with white-blond hair cut short and wide shoulders, he reminded Samantha of Mr. Clean in a lab coat. Alex introduced his friend as Dr. Douglas Wilcox. The doctor apologized for keeping them waiting, and Alex thanked him for helping them out on such short notice.
Pleasantries aside, Dr. Wilcox went right to work. Samantha held Gabe, who cried and refused to open his mouth for the swab. Luckily the doctor knew his business and was quick. He praised Gabe and covered a freckle on his arm with a Superman Band-Aid.
While the baby inspected his badge of courage Dr. Wilcox labeled the samples. Then he gestured for Alex to take a seat.
“I guess I don’t have to ask if you’re nervous. My cadaver has more color than you.”
“Ha ha. I thought this was done with a blood test.” Alex sent his friend a killer look. Doug knew how he hated visits to the doctor. Alex figured the hang-up came from having to drag his brothers to their appointments when he didn’t like going any better than they did. The possible outcome of the test results didn’t help settle his nerves, either.
“Didn’t I tell you? DNA tests are done with swabs these days. No needles today.” Doug winked at Samantha, a totally uncalled-for gesture in Alex’s opinion.
He frowned. “Let’s just get this over with.”
Doug demanded Alex say ah. Conscious of her eyes on him, he complied. Doug swabbed the inside of Alex’s cheek twice. Doug then labeled two plastic vials and placed one of the swabs in each of the envelopes already holding Gabe’s samples.
Two envelopes, one Doug would send to a lab, the other for Samantha to have tested through her own sources. There would be no doubt of the results.
Finally. The ordeal was almost over.
He thanked the Lord, only to have Samantha drop twenty pounds of baby in his lap.
“Watch Gabe for a minute, will you? I have to use the rest room.” Samantha zipped out the door.
“Wait,” Alex protested uselessly. He held Gabe by the waist with his feet dangling below him. “She couldn’t hold it for a minute?”
Doug grinned from where he stood completing his instructions for the lab. “If you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.”
Alex glared at his friend. “You’re just a laugh a minute today.”
“I call ’em as I see ’em.” Doug pulled up a stool and sat down across from Alex. “Cute kid. Looks a lot like you. He has your eyes and your chin.”
Alex turned Gabe this way and that, studying him. The baby liked this new game, kicking his feet and laughing. He reached out and grabbed Alex by the hair, shrieking with glee. “Man.”
“I don’t see the resemblance.” Alex carefully worked his hair free. Gabe giggled and kicked harder. “So he has blue eyes. All babies have blue eyes.”
“Not by this age.” The doctor denied Alex’s statement.
“Well it’s common, as is brown hair, lots of men have that coloring,” Alex said, suppressing a smile at Gabe’s antics.
“He has his mother’s nose.”
Alex arched a brow. “Samantha’s his aunt, not his mother.”
“I know, you told me,” Doug said. “He still has her nose, which means he got it from his mother. Genetics work that way.”
“You’re not helping.” Alex advised his grinning friend. He had to admit, though, that Gabe’s button nose reminded him of Samantha’s.
“Samantha’s a beautiful woman,” Doug commented with a little more interest in his tone than Alex cared for.
He sent the other man a warning glare. “Forget it.”
All innocence, Doug crossed his arms over his chest. “Why, because you saw her first?”
“Yes.” Not that Alex intended doing anything about his attraction, but the situation was way too complicated to add anyone else to the equation.
He lowered Gabe until the little boy’s feet rested on Alex’s thighs. Now instead of kicking, the baby bounced. “He’s a strong little guy.”
“He appears happy. And healthy,” the doctor observed, reaching out to pat the kid on the head.
Gabe turned to see who was patting his head and seeing Doug, his face scrunched up and he shied back against Alex.
“No,” Gabe said loud and clear. “Bad man.”
Alex laughed along with Doug.
“He doesn’t like you.” Alex ran a soothing hand over Gabe’s back. “I don’t blame you, kid. He’s the man who pokes and prods, huh?”
Alex could definitely relate. But when Gabe laid his head on Alex’s shoulder, he felt a sinking feeling in his gut. Better his gut than his heart. He didn’t want to have anything in common with the baby. Not blue eyes, brown hair or a fear of doctors.
The point of this visit, these tests, was to disprove Alex’s paternity. Then he’d have no more to do with Gabe. Or his pretty aunt Samantha.
Life would return to the peace and orderliness Alex craved, and he’d put this disturbing event behind him.
And hope for no more surprises.
Peace. That’s what he wanted. Wasn’t it?
Chapter Two
Samantha’s rubber soles made soft swishing sounds against the tile floor of the deserted high-school corridor. Alex had sent a note asking to see her after school let out.
Not, she suspected, as principal to school nurse but as Gabe’s father to Gabe’s aunt.
Butterflies beat a wild tattoo in her stomach, a sign of her heightened anxiety. In the two weeks since she told Alex about Gabe, they hadn’t been on the friendliest of terms. Waiting for the test results made them both tense.
Perhaps she should have told him about Gabe sooner.
In her defense, parenting didn’t come easily. Whoever said it did, lied. It certainly hadn’t the first time when she’d gained custody of Sarah. So far, this time was no different. Except she was older, thirty-one instead of nineteen.
And this time she hoped not to do it alone.
Pressing a hand against her stomach to tamp down the havoc caused by anticipation and nervousness, she tapped on Alex’s door.
“Come in,” he called in his deep velvet voice, the voice that made her hormones sit up and take notice.
She stepped inside and closed the door, bracing herself, because every time their eyes met a zing of awareness curled all the way down to her toes.
He sat behind a large desk, his dark head bent over a stack of papers. George Washington stared down from the wall. The American flag stood in the corner. Alex’s sleeves were rolled up and his tie loosened. The breadth of his shoulders filled the executive chair he sat in and his hair-dusted forearms bracketed the document he studied.
Even disheveled he took her breath.
Which made his inattention aggravating. He had asked for this meeting, the least he could do was attend it.
“Alex,” she prompted as she took a seat in one of the hardwood chairs facing him. “You wanted to see me?”
“Yes. I’m sorry, I just want to finish this.” He signed his name at the bottom of the paper then set it aside and looked up.
And zing, her toes curled in her white, rubber-soled shoes. She knew he felt the attraction, too. Desire blazed in his blue, blue eyes. A flash of hunger quickly banked.
Unfortunately, knowing changed nothing. Because acting on the attraction would be downright insane.
Darn it.
Scowling, he blinked away all signs of passion, then ran a hand over the back of his neck. The weariness in his gesture distracted Samantha. He usually seemed so vital, so in control.
Seeing him at less than his normal hundred-and-ten percent made her want to tend to him. Fighting the urge, she linked her fingers together. Best she keep her hands and nurturing instincts to herself.
Without meaning to, she heard herself ask, “Tough day?”
He shrugged, a frown drawing his eyebrows together. “No worse than usual.” He tossed his pen on the desk and leaned back in his chair. “Speculation about Gabe is starting to get around. I got a call from a member of the school board.”
“Oh.” Guilt assailed Samantha. What could she say? “Do you feel Gabe’s illegitimacy will reflect badly on you?”
She really hoped Alex would say no. But even with San Diego only thirty miles down the highway, Paradise Pines was a small town, with small-town values and small-town ethics. As principal, and the highest adult influence on their children, the citizens could be disturbed to learn Alex had an illegitimate child.
For the first time since she entered his office, he smiled. “Paradise Pines isn’t that provincial.” His expression turned rueful. “At least I don’t think it is.” He stood and came around the desk. “We’ll know soon enough. That’s why I called you in here, to tell you I received the results of the DNA tests.”
She caught her breath. “Really? My lab said four to six weeks for the results.” Mixed feelings made her heart pound. She believed her sister believed Alex was the father of her child. Heck, Samantha had based major decisions on that belief, but the test results were official. “So?”
“Gabe is my son.”
Her breath escaped in a rush of relief. Finally. Now they could move forward. Samantha tried to gauge Alex’s reaction, but his matter-of-fact manner gave her no clue to his true feelings.
Keeping his serious gaze on hers, he clasped his hands in front of him and leaned back against his desk. “You need to know, Samantha, that I’ve hired an attorney. I’m petitioning for custody.”
Shock rocked Samantha. She stared, trying to wrap her mind around what she’d heard. Alex couldn’t have said he meant to take Gabe away from her.
“No,” she protested, denying her worst fears. “You can’t have him.” Needing to hold on to something solid, she clutched the wooden arms of her chair. “Gabe belongs with me.”
“You’re upset.” He reached for her hand, but she pulled away from him.
She laughed harshly. “Of course I’m upset. Did you expect me to be happy to have you steal him from me?”
He arched a dark eyebrow in a silent reminder that his claim to Gabe was stronger than hers. “I expect you to want what’s best for him.”
“I do.” She congratulated herself on the restraint that kept her from slapping the arrogant look from his face. “I don’t believe taking him from the only family he’s ever known constitutes what’s best.”
“I’m not taking him from you,” he denied in exasperation.
“No?” she mocked him. “You’re seeking custody. What would you call it?”
He shifted his position against the desk, crossed his ankles and leaned back. “Gabe is my son, my responsibility.”
“I commend you on your sense of duty.” With her heart being torn in two, she couldn’t prevent the sarcasm. She crossed her arms over her breasts, more to contain the fresh wave of pain than out of defiance. “But you need more than duty to raise a baby. You need love and patience and understanding.”
He glanced around his office then back at her. “I’m aware of what it takes to raise a child.”
“There’s more to raising a child than education.” Feeling cornered, she stood and hugged herself as she paced. “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”
“I didn’t have the test results. My attorney only filed the petition today.”
“But you knew what you were planning,” she accused, remembering with a sense of betrayal how pleased she’d been at his willingness to have the DNA tests done. Little had she known he’d use the results to undermine her position as Gabe’s guardian.
Her heart rose to her throat as she realized she had no legal claim to Gabe. His care had passed from her sister to Samantha by right of family taking care of family. Nobody had questioned her custody. Until now, when it might be too late to protect Gabe’s interests.
“You’re right.” Alex looked her straight in the eye, challenging her. “I should have told you of my intentions sooner. Just as you should have told me Gabe was my son earlier.”
Oh no, he wasn’t going to make her feel guilty.
She’d turned her life upside down to bring his son to him. Maybe Alex was right. Maybe the decision to wait hadn’t been fair. But she’d needed to know in her heart that introducing Gabe to Alex was not only right, but safe.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. She’d never dreamed he’d try to take Gabe from her. In her experience, men didn’t stay around to raise their own children. And she’d learned the hard way—when her fiancé left her rather than help with Sarah—that they didn’t care to take on the raising of other men’s kids, either.
Heaven knew she’d hoped Alex would take an interest in Gabe, but deep down she hadn’t really believed he would.
“You didn’t believe me when I did tell you.” She voiced her outrage. “You have no right to blame me for trying to protect Gabe. I gave up a job I’d had for five years and moved him to a new state so he could meet his father. Don’t tell me I haven’t done my part. It takes time to—”
Alex held up a hand. “All right. Calm down.”
“Do not patronize me.” Seething with temper, her breasts heaving with the force of restraining her anger, Samantha informed him, “I won’t let you take him from me.”
“It’s done. The papers have been filed.”
She clenched her teeth, bracing herself against the anxiety his words instilled. “I’ll fight you. My sister made it clear she wanted him raised by her family.”
His eyebrows lowered. “Your sister’s wishes don’t concern me. She had no right to use me for stud services then hide my son from me. I believe the courts will agree.”
“So that’s why you’re doing this,” she responded to his bitter claim. “To get back at my sister? And I suppose it doesn’t matter that Gabe will be hurt by your actions?”
“Gabe is my main concern. He needs a stable home.”
“He has a stable home.” Agitated, she paced to the bookcase then back. “He’s a good baby, but taking him from the family he’s become accustomed to will only upset and confuse him. Even traumatize him.”
“I’m his father. I am family,” he said, not unkindly. “He’s young, with the right structure and guidance he’ll adjust.”
Samantha cringed, his words like a dagger to her heart. “I love him,” she challenged Alex. “Can you say the same?”
Silent, he stared at her.
The shrill ring of the phone broke the tense moment. He frowned at the interruption. She watched his internal struggle, but in the end duty won. He rounded the desk and snatched up the receiver. “Sullivan.”
She headed for the door. Wanting to escape, to rethink and regroup. And to plan what to do next. Let him take his call. She was out of there.
“Samantha.”
The authority in his voice stopped her. Reluctantly, she half-turned, looking at him over her shoulder.
He stood with his hand over the mouthpiece, his expression resolute. “I haven’t been given the opportunity to love him. Isn’t that why you brought him to me?”
Stricken, she turned away. That’s exactly why she’d brought Gabe to him.
In the hall, she slumped against the wall, her heart in shreds as she thought of the hard man on the other side of the door. He threatened all the family she had left.
Gabe had someone fighting for him. But she feared she’d be the one to lose.
On Saturday Samantha secured the strap on Gabe’s car seat, dodging his busy fists to do so. She’d told him about Alex’s bid for custody, but of course he didn’t understand. He didn’t worry, as she did, that their time together might be limited. “I should just pack you up and run away with you. Then he couldn’t take you from me.”
“Ducky. Ducky,” Gabe said hopefully.
“That’s right.” Smiling at his one-track mind, Samantha chucked him under the chin. “We’re going to feed the duckies.”
He’d been cranky with teething pains today, and since the sunny afternoon had chased away the morning chill, she’d promised him a trip to the pond to distract him.
Thank goodness he didn’t understand. He deserved happiness and security. As long as he was with her, that’s what he’d get.
After handing him a cookie and making sure the bag of bread crumbs was out of his reach, she straightened from the back seat and closed the door. Turning, she practically stubbed her nose on Alex’s chest.
“Oh!” she exclaimed in surprise. Reacting to his nearness, she took a quick step back from the breadth of him, from the soap and male smell of him. And promptly found her fanny pressed up against the car.
Dread landed heavy in her stomach. Had he heard her thoughtless comment about running away?
“What are you doing here?” she asked with more bite than she’d intended.
“I came to see Gabe.” Alex tucked his hands in his pants pockets, taupe Dockers topped by a navy polo shirt, and stood his ground. His stance effectively blocked her path. “It looks like you have plans.”
Was he baiting her? Unwilling to play mouse to his cat, she addressed the issue directly. “I’m not going to run with him.”
He lifted a dark eyebrow, but he didn’t really look surprised. “I didn’t think you would.”
“But you heard me?”
“Yes,” he said, looking beyond her to where Gabe began to fidget in his car seat.
“You don’t sound too concerned,” she responded, wondering whether to be pleased or insulted by his lack of reaction. Did he trust her or consider her so minor a threat he needn’t worry?
He shrugged. “Unlike your sister, you have too much integrity to run.”
Did she? Or did she simply lack the courage? Apparently he had more faith in her than she had in herself. “You sound pretty sure of that.”
From less than a foot away, he looked her straight in the eyes. “You would never have brought him to my attention if you didn’t believe he needed me.”
She had no answer against the truth, a truth that had driven her to move more than four-hundred miles and landed her in this bind. Refusing to admit he’d touched a nerve, she moved sideways and opened the driver’s door, sliding behind the wheel.
“We’re going to Paradise Pond to feed the ducks. You can come if you want.”
“Fee’ ducky!” Gabe demanded from the back.
Alex rounded the front of the car and slid in next to her.
They traveled the few miles to their destination in silence. The walking trail surrounding Paradise Pond had been revamped when the sports center and a picnic area were built up near the south bank. Pushing Gabe’s stroller, Samantha led the way. A sandy beach allowed them to get right next to the water.
Lifting Gabe onto her hip, she pointed to the ducks paddling about twenty feet from shore. Reaching into her bag of bread crumbs, she tossed a handful into the water to lure the birds closer.
As the ducks drew near, Gabe wiggled and pushed against her. “Down.”
She set him on the ground, and he clutched her finger as he danced in glee. He grabbed a handful of bread crumbs and threw them to the ducks. Unfortunately, the crumbs traveled about two feet then fell to the shore.
Gabe’s lower lip began to tremble and tears welled in his big blue eyes.
“Poor baby, he’s teething.” She explained so Alex wouldn’t think Gabe was usually this moody. She reached to pick him up again.
“Let me.” Alex swept the boy up and deposited him on his shoulders. He handled Gabe with such ease and grace, she knew he’d done this before.
Startled by his new position in life, Gabe grabbed Alex’s hair in two chubby fists. Not even flinching, Alex stepped up to the lapping water and offered Gabe another handful of bread.
This time most of the crumbs landed in the water and the ducks swam closer to feed. Delighted, Gabe proceeded to feed the ducks.
Samantha swallowed hard, the sight of father and son together both a pleasure and a pain. This was what she wanted for Gabe, a father who spent time with him. Over the past few months, she’d seen how close the extended Sullivan family was; brothers, cousins and grandmother supported each other without question.
Unconditional love, it was what Samantha desperately wanted for Gabe. But why did it have to be at the cost of her relationship with him?
It wasn’t the time or the place, but Samantha had to know. “Would you consider shared custody?”
Alex whipped around to frown at her then he winced as Gabe pulled his hair. Reaching up to ease the boy’s grip, Alex was struck by the vulnerability she couldn’t hide. He went completely still.
Her creamy-white skin looked bruised under green eyes shadowed by worry. She’d lost weight, too. Her jeans and white cotton sweater clinging to her curves a little less faithfully than the day she’d come to his home.
She looked as if the mountain breeze could lift her up and carry her over the small pond. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and keep her safe, but he couldn’t allow sympathy or temptation to sway his better judgment.
He didn’t want to hurt her, but he couldn’t honor her request. Visitations, yes, but not shared custody.
When he looked back on the years after his parents died, the only thing holding him together while he struggled to help with his brothers had been knowing who he was and where he belonged. Gram worked hard to give his brothers and him that sense of continuity and belonging. No way he could look her in the face and do less for his son.
He hadn’t planned on this child, but now that he knew of him, Alex meant to do everything in his power to provide the best home possible for him.
Alex wouldn’t put his son through the displacement that came from splitting a child between shared households.
“I’m sorry, but no.”
Defeat momentarily showed in the slumping of her shoulders as she turned away, shielding her disappointment from him. His fingers flexed around Gabe’s ankle with the urge to reach out to her. Alex regretted causing her distress, but not even for her would he compromise his beliefs.
Somewhat desperately, she pleaded. “At least tell me you’ll get him a dog. To play with and keep him company. I was going to get him a puppy for his birthday.”
She probably thought it was a small thing to ask. For him it wasn’t small at all. He’d taken on all he could handle for now. “I need peace at the end of the day. Dogs are loud and messy.”
“No dog?”
“No dog.”
He saw her hands clench into fists and she led with her chin when she swung back to him.
“Why are you doing this? You don’t even want children. Everyone knows your marriage ended because your wife wanted children and you didn’t.”
All sympathy ended under a sudden lash of sorrow and pain. He turned his attention back to the ducks, but still he saw her in his peripheral vision. Indignant. Justified. Wrong.
“No. My marriage ended the day my daughter died.”
Chapter Three
Alex heard Samantha’s breath catch. And from the corner of his eye, he saw that she went completely white, the color draining from her cheeks.
“My God, Alex. I’m so sorry.” Without hesitating, she stepped forward, pressed herself to him and held him close. “What happened?”
He went still, bracing himself against the show of sympathy, against the fresh wave of pain. “I don’t talk about it.”
“Of course.” She took no exception, simply hugged him harder and said again, “I’m sorry.”
Her unexpected compassion touched him deeply. Perhaps because she was the first person outside his family and Doug to express sorrow for his loss. Caught in a sudden maelstrom of emotions, he clenched his teeth to contain the constriction in his throat.
Words were impossible. But he wasn’t ready to let her go. He lifted his right arm to hold her close, at the same time reaching for Gabe’s foot so he wouldn’t slip from his perch on Alex’s shoulders. Instead of Gabe’s sneaker, Alex’s hand closed over Samantha’s fingers. Even as she comforted him, she held his son safe.
Something buried inside him clicked into place. Tightening his grip on the two of them, he closed his eyes and quietly mourned the loss of his baby girl, so tiny, so frail she hadn’t survived being born three months early.
His six-year marriage hadn’t survived the tragedy. He’d been furious when his wife became pregnant against his wishes; but he’d gotten over it, supporting her through her pregnancy, even coming to love the child she carried.
Finding out his baby had died because his wife hadn’t followed doctor’s orders killed any feelings he had for her. She’d pretended to give up smoking, yet continued behind his back. Then he learned the doctor had advised complete bed rest a month before she went into premature labor. She’d said nothing to him and continued to work, then cried buckets when she miscarried.
He’d cried, too. But not in front of her. He’d cried alone.
No, he hadn’t wanted children, but his biggest regret wasn’t that his ex-wife deliberately betrayed him by getting pregnant. It was that he never got to hold his daughter in his arms. She came and went without him ever touching her. Without her ever knowing how much her daddy loved her.
His friends and neighbors had known he hadn’t wanted children, so his ex got all the sympathy. He was ignored, or worse, treated as if he were relieved. They’d made him feel he had no right to compassion, no right to grieve publicly. So he’d held it all inside.
And promised himself he’d never father another child and risk this pain and loss again.
Samantha pretty much hated his guts because of the custody issue, yet she recognized his pain and offered comfort unconditionally. What an amazing woman. He admired her courage and selflessness. For that reason he revealed more than he normally would.
A cloud moved in front of the sun. The breeze turned chilly in an instant. And Gabe began to wiggle. He hit Alex on the top of the head. “Down man.”
Samantha stepped back and looked up, first at him, gently gauging his emotional state, then with a nod and a rueful smile, she moved her gaze up to Gabe.
“What’s wrong, little man, did we ignore you? Did the duckies swim away?” She retrieved the bag of bread crumbs from the ground where they’d fallen during the brief embrace and handed Gabe a palmful. “The duckies will come back.”
“No duckies!” Gabe threw the bread crumbs down. The crumbs rained around Alex and Samantha, most of them lodging in Alex’s dark hair. But not for long. Gabe hit Alex on the head demanding to be let down, sending scratchy crumbs down his shirt collar. “Down man!”
Alex happily complied.
Samantha immediately swooped Gabe up and deposited him in his stroller parked near a picnic table on the grass. “Bad boy.” She admonished as she tucked the blankets around his legs. “You don’t hit.”
“Bad man,” Gabe countered, sending Alex a teary-eyed glare. High pink spots heated his cheeks.
“Good daddy,” she corrected, “he helped us feed the duckies.” Gabe began to cry. Samantha dug out a bottle for him then laid the seat back on the stroller. In seconds Gabe lay quietly sucking, eyes closed.
“Sorry about that.” Samantha turned her attention to Alex, swiping at his shoulders and hair to help remove crumbs. “He tires easily when he’s teething.”
“No harm,” Alex assured her. Unless she kept touching him. He could only stand so much petting before his body reacted like the red-blooded man he was.
Soft hands caressing his chest and arms, long fingers running through his hair, the scent of honeysuckle and woman made it hard to think or to consider the other families occupying the park and sports center.
He took one huge step back before reason completely deserted him and he laid her down on the grass right here and now. Bending at the waist, he shook his head in a pretense of getting rid of bread crumbs. In reality he needed the blood back in his head.
Because watching her bend over the stroller, seeing her tend the fussy baby, feeling her hands on his body gave him some fanciful notions. Like maybe taking her home, as well as taking his son.
When he stood up and the idea still held appeal, he realized he had something to consider.
Samantha watched Alex take a seat at the picnic table. Sighing a mixture of frustration and relief, she joined him. Both of them sat facing the pond. If he hadn’t stepped away when he did, she’d have jumped him.
Well, maybe not. Her restraint may have held. But she wouldn’t bet money on it. The man was hot. Steaming. And she’d gotten carried away with the feel of those hard muscles, broad shoulders, silky hair…Okay, stop.
She waved a hand in front of her face, pretending to chase off a bug. When had the day turned so warm?
“Have you been married?” he asked suddenly.
“No,” she answered, the simple truth her second biggest regret. She wanted nothing more than a loving husband, children and a dog. A real family. Her family. “I was engaged once. It ended when my mother died, and I got custody of Sarah. My fiancé decided he was too young to be the father of a twelve year old.”
His eyebrows lifted, and he assessed her from top to bottom and back again, lingering appreciatively on the valley and slopes of her hips and bust. She shifted restlessly, feeling the weight of his gaze as she would a caress.
“Fool.” When he returned his attention to her face, desire showed in his eyes, but his voice held disbelief. “You don’t look old enough to have been Sarah’s guardian. She was twelve, how old were you?”
Samantha took the question as a compliment though Sarah’s voluptuous curves always made her appear more mature than she’d actually been.
“I’m thirty-one. I’d just turned nineteen when our mother died.”
Behind narrowed eyes she saw him calculating ages and dates. The results hit him hard. “Lord, I’m thirty-six. She was little more than a child.”
Samantha shook her head. “Sarah always rushed life as if she couldn’t get through it fast enough. She prided herself on looking older, acting older, pretending she was older. She hadn’t been a child in a long time.”
He looked unconvinced.
“She was twenty-three.” Because Samantha knew Sarah wouldn’t appreciate the importance being given her age, she defended her sister’s choices. And that would be the end of her arguments. “Well beyond the age of consent. There’s no need to beat yourself up.”
Alex slowly accepted the truth in her words. The woman he remembered had been vibrant and assured. She’d known what she wanted and how to get it. For a couple of days, at a time when he needed it, what she’d wanted had been him.
Or more specifically what he could give her. How ironic he’d been on the island to distract himself from the news that barely a year after their divorce his ex-wife had given her new husband a baby girl. The news had him mourning his daughter all over again. And he’d gone to the island to forget.
Only to be used again.
No, he had nothing to apologize for.
“So you were engaged once.” He brought the conversation back to Samantha. “Did you leave anyone special back in Phoenix?”
“Special?” she repeated ruefully. “No. I’d been seeing someone for two years. He lasted six weeks after Gabe came to live with me.”
Alex began to see a pattern developing, one that explained a lot. “Samantha, you must have known when you moved to Paradise Pines and introduced Gabe to me there’d be a chance I’d seek custody.”
Dropping her gaze from his, she stared out over the pond the weight of the world heavy in her eyes. “I knew,” Samantha agreed. “I just never believed it would happen. In my experience men usually have the opposite reaction. My sister Sarah’s father left the country after my mom told him she was pregnant. So, no, I never seriously considered the thought of you wanting Gabe.”
Over the next three weeks, Social Services appeared several times for surprise visits. Samantha did her best to make a good impression. She locked a smile in place, answered all the questions—no matter how personal—with good grace and maintained friendly chatter for all she was worth.
And as soon as the thin, cheerless woman left, Samantha worried that she’d talked too much, smiled too much, tried too hard.
Alex appeared three more times to visit with Gabe. Samantha cooked dinner for him once, and he took them out once. All very civilized, considering they were at war with each other.
The third time he came around, he took them to Gram’s for Sunday dinner and a birthday celebration for Gabe. Earlier in the day, Samantha had taken Gabe to the pond for a picnic of his favorite foods, ending with cupcakes and a handful of gifts. He’d been excited by the plastic building blocks, but she’d felt let down. She’d wanted to give him a puppy.
The center of attention at Gram’s, he officially met all his uncles, except the second-oldest Sullivan. A Lt. Commander in the navy, Brock Sullivan rarely made it home for family events.
Alex’s grandmother and his cousin Mattie went out of their way to make Samantha feel comfortable.
“We’re so glad you brought Gabe into our lives,” Gram said. “I’m sorry for the loss of your sister.”
“Thank you. It’s very generous of you to have a party for Gabe.”
Gram’s smile lit up her face. “My pleasure. We haven’t had a baby in the family since Ford was in diapers.” She chatted on, regaling Samantha with family history.
Samantha found it interesting that Alex’s father named his six boys alphabetically to help him keep track, beginning with Alex and ending with Ford. Though the twins Derrick and Everett went by Rick and Rett. Samantha realized her sister had honored the Sullivan tradition by naming her son Gabe.
Though a little overwhelmed at being surrounded by so many Sullivans, Samantha enjoyed the impromptu party. Especially since Gabe thrived under all the masculine attention.
“Time for presents.” Mattie began to gather up used cake plates. “Cole, can you bring in the gifts?”
A few minutes later Gabe tore into a pile of gaily wrapped packages. He shrieked and giggled and wanted to stop and play with each new gift. Alex watched from behind the blue Victorian-style sofa, involved but distant.
Finally, Gabe reached the last gift, a box bigger than him. He peeled back the paper, then Ford cut open the box and lifted out a life-sized, stuffed, rocking dog.
“Doggy!” Gabe’s eyes grew huge and he immediately climbed on and began rocking.
Alex had bought Gabe a dog.
Samantha met Alex’s benevolent gaze across the room and her heart twisted. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The whole evening left her feeling torn. Fear and worry at war with love and loyalty.
She loved the welcome the Sullivans were giving Gabe. The fact that Alex had noted and made arrangements to celebrate Gabe’s birthday were exactly the actions she’d hoped for in a father when she brought Gabe to California. Yet the same thoughtful actions were what the courts would be assessing in their determination of who gained custody of Gabe.
When she compared her building blocks and cupcakes to Alex’s rocking dog and three-layer, double-chocolate birthday cake, she despaired. Because if she were the judge, she knew which way she’d rule.
Alex stood talking with the twins, but watched out of the corner of his eye while Samantha gathered Gabe’s gifts into the large empty box. She bent one way then another, making Alex’s mouth go dry at the enticing site of her pretty butt. Deliberately, he dragged his gaze away from the temptation she offered, frowning when he spied his brothers Rick and Rett standing together, arms crossed over their chests, enjoying the same view.
The twins ran the family jewelry store, Sullivans’. Rick handled the business end of things while Rett controlled the creative side. Neither encroached on the other’s territory, but together they’d made Sullivans’ the most prestigious jewelry store in San Diego. Last year, Now San Diego magazine had named both men on their top ten eligible bachelors list.
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