Читать онлайн книгу «Best Friend to Perfect Bride» автора Jennifer Taylor
Best Friend to Perfect Bride
Jennifer Taylor
A bride worth waiting for!Dr James MacIntyre had always hoped that Bella English would one day be more than just his ‘best friend’. But on Bella’s wedding day, Mac swore that his feelings would remain hidden for ever.Three years later and Mac is back at Dalverston – working in paediatrics alongside a newly divorced Bella! And it’s clear that those long-buried feelings are still as heartachingly, pulse-racingly powerful as before…Surely turning back the clock would be a bad idea…except that it feels so very, very right!
Dear Reader (#ulink_49300f21-31d5-5ee1-a0cf-c884b98b4f8d),
Should best friends fall in love? That is the question that both Bella and Mac ask themselves after they meet again following Bella’s divorce. Their relationship was so clear in the past: they were friends and nothing more than that. However, all of a sudden they find their feelings for one another changing.
It comes as a huge shock to Mac. After all, he’s convinced that Bella is to blame for the demise of her marriage. But the more time they spend together, the harder he finds it to believe that. As for Bella—well, she has never been good at relationships. She has always had great difficulty showing her feelings, so to suddenly discover just how hard it is to remain emotionally detached when Mac is around scares her. After all, she doesn’t have a good track record when it comes to relationships, does she? Even if it was her ex-husband’s fault that their marriage failed. Is it realistic to hope that she and Mac can switch from being friends to lovers?
Helping Bella and Mac work through their problems was a real pleasure. I grew extremely fond of them during the course of writing this book. They deserve to find happiness after everything they’ve been through, and I hope you will agree that they truly earn their happy ending.
Best wishes to you all
Jennifer
JENNIFER TAYLOR has been writing Mills & Boon® novels for some time, but discovered Medical Romance™ books relatively recently. She was so captivated by these heart-warming stories that she immediately set out to write them herself! Having worked in scientific research, Jennifer enjoys writing each book, as well as the chance to create a cast of wonderful new characters. Jennifer’s hobbies include reading and travelling. She lives in northwest England. Visit Jennifer’s blog at jennifertaylorauthor.wordpress.com (http://jennifertaylorauthor.wordpress.com)
Best Friend to Perfect Bride
Jennifer Taylor
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Dedication (#ulink_10d06786-beb6-5229-bab5-e49595361342)
For Charlotte, who told me about the boat Gallina, and for James, who owns her.
Many thanks for providing me with the perfect home for my hero.
Table of Contents
Cover (#uf3b88274-0bb8-5576-ad1b-476e1146de63)
Dear Reader (#u44e66974-8e5a-5ec2-ac28-8de714bf22c4)
About the Author (#u7b2e56ab-4e85-5d51-b980-4094d1f99422)
Title Page (#ud3a0cfa8-5277-5603-b5f7-88f33957a77c)
Dedication (#udadd88b3-e2b6-569f-8a2b-308c9b088e10)
CHAPTER ONE (#uc3426dd0-727d-5a91-9ccf-5b7235650c22)
CHAPTER TWO (#ud59d35c9-b3ea-5873-b7b4-5a61534e76ab)
CHAPTER THREE (#u9d9df353-8c23-531c-804f-f877155b8000)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_04bd836e-fe19-5cec-8db0-1e91397a8e2f)
SHE HADN’T CHANGED. Tall and slender, her red-gold hair coiled into an elegant knot at the nape of her neck, Bella English looked as beautiful today as she had done the last time he had seen her. On her wedding day.
‘Mac! I heard you were back. Good to see you, mate. How are you?’
‘Great, thanks, Lou.’
James MacIntyre—Mac to all who knew him—turned and grinned at the elderly porter. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Bella move away from the desk but he kept his attention firmly focused on the other man. After what his old friend Tim had told him, he wasn’t all that eager to speak to her.
‘You’re looking well, I must say, Lou. Obviously, moving to the new paediatric A&E unit has done you the power of good. You look a good ten years younger than the last time I saw you!’
‘I wish!’ Lou’s grizzled face broke into a wry smile. ‘It’d take major surgery to turn me into Dalverston’s very own version of George Clooney.’ He glanced over Mac’s shoulder and grimaced. ‘Anyway, I’d better get going. Catch you later.’
‘Yep.’
Mac didn’t need to check to see what had caused Lou to beat a hasty retreat. He could smell her perfume, that subtle fragrance of freesias that Bella always wore. She had told him once that it was made especially for her and that had fitted perfectly with everything he knew about her. Bella was the sort of woman who would have her very own perfume. Nothing about her was ordinary or commonplace.
Mac turned slowly around, taking stock of all the details he had missed before. Although Bella had always been slender, she was verging on thin now, he realised. And even though her complexion was as creamy as ever, there were dark circles under her green eyes that hinted at far too many sleepless nights. Was it guilt that had kept her awake? he wondered a shade bitterly. A noisy conscience clamouring to be heard, even if it was too late in the day? After all, even Bella must feel some degree of remorse about ending her marriage to Tim.
‘Hello, Mac. I heard you were back. How are you?’
The greeting was almost identical to Lou’s, but Mac had to admit that it made him want to respond very differently. He experienced an uncharacteristic urge to take her by the shoulders and shake her, demand to know why she had done such a cruel thing. She had ruined Tim’s life—didn’t she care? Didn’t she care either that she had broken all those promises she had made three years ago to love, honour and cherish the man she had married? He had sat through the ceremony, listened to her cool clear voice swearing a lifetime’s devotion, and had believed every word. If he was honest, he felt almost as let down as poor Tim must do.
The thought shocked him so that it was a moment before he answered. He and Bella had never been anything more than friends—he had made sure of that. So why should he feel so disillusioned? He blanked out the thought, knowing it was foolish to dwell on it. If he and Bella were to work together for the next few months, he couldn’t allow recent events to stand in the way.
‘Fine, thanks. Looking forward to working in the new unit.’ He glanced around and nodded. ‘It looks great, I must say. Obviously, no expense has been spared.’
‘No. Everything is state of the art. We’ve been open for almost a month now and I still have to pinch myself when I come into work. I can’t believe that we have such marvellous facilities to hand.’
She gave a husky laugh and Mac tensed when he felt the tiny hairs all over his body spring to attention. He had forgotten about her laugh, forgotten how soft it was, how sexy. It had been her laugh that he had noticed first, in fact. He had been standing in the lunch queue in the university’s refectory when he had heard a woman laugh and he had turned to see who it was …
He ditched that thought as well, not needing any more distractions. He knew where his loyalties lay, knew that if he had to take sides then he would be firmly allied to Tim. Tim had poured out the whole sorry tale, told him what had happened from start to finish, and whilst Mac was realistic enough to know that it was rarely all one person’s fault when a marriage ended, it was obvious that Bella was more at fault than Tim. No, Tim’s biggest mistake had been to love Bella too much and be too soft with her. The thought firmed his resolve and he smiled thinly at her.
‘Is that what brought you to Dalverston, the chance to work in a wonderful new facility like this? I must confess that I was surprised to learn you had moved out of London.’
‘It was one of the reasons, yes.’
Bella’s expression sobered and Mac’s heart twisted when he saw the pain in her eyes. Maybe Tim was hurting but Bella was hurting too, it seemed. The idea affected him far more than it should have done, far more than he wanted it to do. It was an effort not to let her see how he felt when she continued.
‘I needed to get away and moving up here seemed like the right thing to do. It’s a fresh start for me and, hopefully, it will be a fresh start for Tim as well.’
Bella could feel the animosity coming off Mac in huge waves and it hurt to know that he had judged her and obviously found her wanting. She knew that Tim would have told Mac his version of the story but she had hoped that Mac would wait until he had spoken to her before he started apportioning blame. However, it appeared that he had accepted what Tim had said without question. She was the one at fault, the bad guy who had called time on her marriage, while Tim was the innocent victim.
She swung round, refusing to stand there and try to justify herself. She had made up her mind that she wouldn’t retaliate after she had found out that Tim had been spreading all those lies about her. She had seen that happen with other couples, had watched as the situation had deteriorated into an unseemly sparring match, and she had sworn that she wouldn’t go down that route. People would believe what they wanted to believe anyway. If she tried to contest Tim’s claims that she had been unreasonable, that she had ruined his career, that she had ended their relationship rather than have a baby with him, few would believe her.
She had always been the reticent one in the relationship, the one who took longer to make friends, whereas Tim had always been very outgoing. Tim drew people to him and made instant friends of them, and if he tended to drop them just as quickly later, then nobody seemed to mind. No, if there were sides to be taken then most folk would take Tim’s. Including Mac, it seemed.
Pain stabbed her heart as she led the way to Reception. Even though she knew it was silly, she hated to think that she had sunk so low in Mac’s estimation. Dredging up a smile, she turned to Janet Davies, their receptionist, determined that she wasn’t going to let him know how she felt.
‘This is Dr MacIntyre, Janet. He’ll be covering the senior registrar’s post until Dr Timpson is fit to return to work following her accident.’
‘Oh, I know Mac. Who doesn’t?’ Janet got up and hurried around the desk to give Mac a hug. She grinned up at him. ‘So where was it this time? Africa? India? Outer Mongolia?’
‘The Philippines.’
Mac hugged Janet back, his face breaking into a smile that immediately warmed Bella’s heart. He had always had the most wonderful smile, she thought, then pulled herself up short. Maybe Mac had smiled at Janet with genuine warmth but he certainly hadn’t smiled at her that way.
‘Oh, grim.’ Janet grimaced. ‘Was it as bad as it looked on TV?’
‘Worse.’
Mac shook his head, his dark brown hair flopping untidily across his forehead. It needed trimming, Bella decided, even though it suited him, emphasising his craggy good looks and that air of toughness he projected. Mac looked exactly like the kind of man he was: tough, unflappable, someone you could depend on, someone who would never let you down. Her heart ached even harder at the thought. She could have done with Mac’s support this past difficult year.
‘The typhoon destroyed whole cities and left people with nothing except the clothes they stood up in. We had a devil of a job getting hold of even the most basic supplies in the beginning,’ he continued.
‘How awful!’ Janet shuddered as she went back to her seat. ‘Makes you grateful that you live here, doesn’t it.’
‘It does indeed.’ Mac grinned. ‘Even if it does rain a lot in this part of the world!’
Janet laughed as she reached for the telephone when it started ringing. Bella moved to the whiteboard and checked the list of names written on it, determined to start as she meant to go on. Maybe there were certain issues that she and Mac needed to address, but they were colleagues, first and foremost, and she intended to keep that at the forefront of her mind. There were just three children in cubicles and each of them had been seen and were currently awaiting the results of various tests. She pointed to the last name on the list when Mac joined her.
‘I’d like you to take a look at this one, if you wouldn’t mind. Chloe Adams, aged eight, admitted at four a.m. this morning complaining of a severe headache. She’d also been vomiting.’ She sighed. ‘Apparently, she’s been suffering from violent headaches for several weeks. Mum took her to their GP, who thought it was probably a sinus infection, but I’m not convinced.’
‘So what are you thinking?’ Mac queried. ‘That it’s something more sinister?’
‘Yes. I noticed a definite lack of coordination when I was examining her. It made me wonder if it’s a tumour. I asked Mum if she’d noticed anything—clumsy gait, frequent falls, that kind of thing—but she said she hadn’t.’ Bella shrugged. ‘Chloe is one of five children and I get the impression that her mother is finding it hard to cope since their father upped and left them at the beginning of the year.’
‘I see. It must be difficult for her when she’s been abandoned like that,’ Mac said blandly, so blandly in fact that Bella knew he was thinking about her situation.
Colour touched her cheeks as she led the way to the cubicles. She hadn’t abandoned Tim! She had left because Tim had made it impossible for her to stay. She had tried to help him, tried everything she could think of, but nothing had worked. He had been too dependent on the painkillers by then to give them up. Oh, he had promised that he would, swore that he had umpteen times, but he had lied. The drugs had changed him from the man she had married, turned him into someone who lied and deceived at the drop of a hat. It had reached the point where she simply couldn’t take any more and she had left and, amazingly, it had been the best thing she could have done for him.
Tim had sought help after that. He had admitted himself to rehab and finally kicked his habit. Maybe she should have gone back to him then—she had thought about it. But then she had found out about his affair and there hadn’t seemed any point. She would only have gone back out of a sense of duty and that hadn’t seemed right or fair to either of them.
It made her wonder all of a sudden if she had ever really loved him—loved him with the depth and intensity that people were supposed to feel when they married—if she hadn’t been prepared to fight for him. The problem was that she had never been truly in touch with her feelings. As the only child of career-minded parents, she had learned at an early age to keep her emotions in check. Even after she had grown up, she had always held back, had always been wary about letting herself feel. Tim had seemed like a safe bet—the type of man she was used to, someone from her own social circle, someone she felt comfortable with. Unlike Mac. Mac had been very different. Even though they’d only been friends, his self-assurance and experience of life had unsettled her. Everything about him had seemed alien. Dangerous. A threat to her peace of mind. He still was.
Bella’s breath caught. If Mac had seemed dangerous all those years ago, he was even more of a threat now that she was so vulnerable.
‘Mrs Adams? I’m Dr MacIntyre. Dr English has asked me to take a look at your daughter.’
Mac smiled at the harassed-looking woman sitting beside the bed. He knew that Bella was standing right behind him and forced himself to focus on the other woman. He had sworn that he would behave with the utmost propriety and wouldn’t take Bella to task about what she had done. Maybe he did believe that she had behaved deplorably by ending her marriage, but it wasn’t his place to say so.
‘She’s feeling a lot better now, aren’t you, Chloe?’ Donna Adams turned to the little girl, urging her to agree, and Mac sighed. No matter how long this took or how inconvenient it was for the mother, they needed to get to the bottom of Chloe’s problem.
‘That’s good to hear but I still think it would be best if we carried out a couple more tests.’ He smiled at the little girl. ‘We don’t want you having any more of those horrible headaches if we can avoid it, do we, Chloe?’
‘No.’ She smiled shyly back at him, clutching tight hold of a battered old teddy bear.
Mac grinned at her as he sat down on the edge of the bed. ‘What’s your teddy’s name? I have a bear just like him and he’s called Bruno.’
‘William.’ Chloe gave the bear a hug. ‘He’s my best friend and I take him everywhere.’
‘I expect he enjoys it.’ Mac took hold of the bear’s paw and solemnly shook it. ‘It’s nice to meet you, William. My name’s Dr Mac.’
Chloe giggled at this piece of nonsense, but Mac knew that it was important to gain her trust. He smiled at her again. ‘So, now the introductions are over, I need to ask you some questions, Chloe. There are no right or wrong answers, mind you. And if you want William to help you then that’s also fine. OK?’
‘OK,’ Chloe agreed happily.
‘So, Chloe, have you noticed that sometimes you don’t seem quite as steady on your feet as normal and fall over?’
‘Sometimes,’ Chloe murmured. She glanced at her mother then hurried on. ‘It happened in school the other day. I got up to fetch a piece of paper to do some painting and fell over. Teacher thought I was messing about and told me off.’
‘I see.’ Mac glanced at Bella and saw her nod. Poor balance could point towards a disturbance to the function of the cerebellum and was often an indication of a tumour. Although he hoped with all his heart it wasn’t that, it was looking increasingly likely.
‘And have you found it difficult to walk sometimes, as though your feet don’t want to do what you tell them to?’ he continued gently.
‘Yes. Sometimes they keep going the wrong way,’ Chloe told him guilelessly.
‘I’m sorry, Doctor, but what has this got to do with Chloe’s headaches?’ Donna Adams demanded.
‘It all helps to build up a picture of what might be wrong with Chloe,’ Mac explained, not wanting to go into detail just yet. If their suspicions were correct then there would be time enough for the poor woman to face the fact that her child was seriously ill. He stood up and smiled at Chloe. ‘I’m going to send you for a special scan, Chloe, so we can see what’s happening inside your head. I just need to make a phone call first and then the porter will take you and your mum downstairs to have it done.’
‘Will it take long?’ Donna Adams asked anxiously. ‘Only I’ve got to get the others ready for school. They’re with my neighbour at the moment but I can’t expect her to see to them. She’s in her eighties and it’s far too much for her.’
‘The scan itself won’t take very long,’ Bella said gently. ‘However, Chloe will need to stay here until we get the results back. Is there anyone else you can contact who could see to the children?’
‘No.’ Donna’s tone was bitter. ‘There’s nobody since their dad upped and left.’ She glanced at her daughter and sighed. ‘They’ll just have to miss school today, I suppose.’
Mac didn’t say anything as he followed Bella from the cubicle, but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t thinking it. Breaking promises was a definite no-no in his view. He only had to recall his own father’s despair after his mother had walked out on them to know that it was something he would never do. If he ever made a commitment then he would stick to it, no matter what.
He glanced at Bella and could tell from her expression that she knew what he was thinking, but it was hard luck. Letting Tim down the way she had was beyond the pale, in his opinion. She had promised to love and cherish Tim for the rest of her days but she hadn’t meant it. She couldn’t have done if at the first sign of trouble she had turned her back on him. He felt guilty enough about not being there when Tim had needed his support, even though he’d had no idea what his friend had been going through. However, Bella had been there and, as Tim’s wife, she should have been the one person he could rely on. It was little wonder that his friend was so devastated.
Mac’s mouth thinned as he followed her into the office. Maybe it was unfair of him to be so judgemental but he had always considered Bella to be the ideal woman. Not only was she beautiful, but she was highly intelligent too. Although he had been deeply attracted to her when they had met at Cambridge, he had been ever so slightly in awe of her as well. The fact that she had kept herself aloof from the rest of their class had only added to her allure, in fact.
He had never been the reticent type. His upbringing, on a council estate on the outskirts of Manchester, hadn’t allowed for such luxury. He had learned early on that he needed to be tough to survive, focused and determined if he hoped to achieve his goal of becoming a doctor. Bella had been very different from the girls he had known at home, different too from the rest of the women in their year at university. Although many of them had come from privileged backgrounds too, Bella had stood out: her perfection had made her special. To discover that she wasn’t perfect after all had hit him hard. For all these years he had put her on a pedestal but the truth was that Bella was just a woman like any other, a woman who could make and break promises. She wasn’t special. And she wasn’t out of his league, as he had always believed.
Mac frowned. It was the first time that thought had crossed his mind and he didn’t like it. Not one little bit. Or the one that followed it. There was nothing to stop him making a play for Bella now.
Sadly, the results of Chloe’s scan only confirmed their suspicions. Bella sighed as she studied the monitor. ‘There’s no doubt about it, is there? That’s definitely a tumour.’
‘It is.’
Mac leant forward to get a better look and she tensed when his shoulder brushed against hers. She moved aside, not enjoying the fact that her heart seemed to be beating far faster than it normally did. She cleared her throat. The last thing she needed was Mac thinking that he had any kind of effect on her.
‘It’s probably a medulloblastoma, wouldn’t you say? That’s one of the most common types of brain tumour that occur in children.’
‘Oh, yes. The fact that it’s arisen in the cerebellum makes it almost a certainty,’ he concurred.
‘Chloe’s going to need immediate treatment,’ Bella said, focusing on their patient in the hope that it would stop her thoughts wandering again. Maybe she did seem to be unusually aware of Mac, but that was only to be expected. Ever since she’d heard he was back in England, she had been on edge. After all, Mac was Tim’s best friend and it must be hard for him to accept what had happened. It was bound to lead to a certain degree of … well, tension between them. The thought was reassuring and she hurried on.
‘From what I’ve read, medulloblastomas can grow very rapidly and spread to other parts of the brain as well as to the spinal cord.’
‘That’s right. Chloe needs to be seen by an oncologist ASAP so we shall have to set that up. She’ll probably need radiotherapy as well as chemotherapy if she’s to have any chance of surviving this.’ He shook his head and Bella saw the sorrow in his eyes. ‘I feel sorry for her mother. It’s going to be a huge shock for her.’
‘It will be a lot for her to deal with, especially with having the other children to look after,’ Bella agreed quietly. ‘Just travelling back and forth to hospital while Chloe receives treatment will be a major task with her not having any backup.’
‘It will.’
Mac’s tone was flat. Although there was no hint of censure in his voice, Bella knew that he was thinking about the way she had seemingly deserted Tim in his hour of need. The urge to tell him the truth—the real truth, not the version that Tim was determined to tell everyone—was very strong but she refused to go down that path. It wouldn’t improve Mac’s opinion of her if she tried to apportion blame; it could have the opposite effect, in fact.
It was hard to accept that there was very little she could do, but Bella knew there was no point agonising about it. Switching off the monitor, she turned to leave the office. ‘I’ll go and have a word with Mrs Adams,’ she said over her shoulder. ‘The sooner she knows what’s going on, the better.’
‘Fine. Do you want me to phone Oncology and start the ball rolling?’ Mac offered, following her out to the corridor.
‘If you wouldn’t mind … Oh, they’ve got a new phone number. They’re starting the refurbishments today so they’ve moved temporarily into the old building. I’ll get it for you.’ Bella went to go back into the office and staggered when she cannoned into Mac.
‘Sorry.’ He grinned as he set her safely back on her feet. ‘I didn’t expect you to turn round so suddenly, or that’s my excuse, anyway. It’s got nothing whatsoever to do with me being born clumsy!’
‘No harm done,’ she assured him, although she could feel heat flowing from the point where his hands were gripping her shoulders. She stepped back, setting some much-needed space between them, or much-needed by her, at least. Mac appeared unmoved by the contact. ‘Janet should have Oncology’s new number, now that I think about it,’ she said, hastily squashing that thought. ‘Let me know what they say, won’t you?’
‘Will do.’
He sketched her a wave as he headed to Reception. Bella watched until he disappeared from sight then made her way to the cubicles. She wasn’t looking forward to the next few minutes. Breaking bad news to a parent was always difficult and one of the few things she disliked about her job …
Her breath caught as she felt the heat finally consume her entire body. It felt as though she was on fire, burning up, inside and out, and all because Mac had touched her. She couldn’t recall ever feeling this way before, couldn’t remember when the touch of a man’s hands had set her alight, not even when Tim had made love to her. What did it mean? Or didn’t it mean anything really? Was it simply the lack of intimacy that had made her so susceptible all of a sudden?
Once Tim had become hooked on the painkillers, they had stopped making love. He hadn’t been interested in anything apart from where his next fix was coming from and she hadn’t been able to stand the thought of them being intimate when it wouldn’t have meant anything. It was almost two years since they had slept together and there had been nobody else since, or at least not for her. Was that why she felt so aware of her body all of a sudden, so emotionally charged? It wasn’t Mac’s touch per se that had aroused her but the fact that she had been denied an outlet for her feelings for such a long time?
Bella told herself that it was the real explanation; however, as she entered the cubicle, she knew in her heart that it was only partly true. Maybe the lack of intimacy was a contributing factor but she doubted if she would have reacted this way if another man had touched her the way Mac had done. The truth was that she had always been aware of him even though they had never been anything more than friends. There was something about him that she responded to, even though she had refused to acknowledge it. It made her see just how careful she needed to be. The last thing she wanted was to start craving Mac’s touch when it was obvious how he felt about her.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_b4bb22ae-9c18-5269-94c7-ae6d320894af)
IT WAS A busy day but Mac enjoyed every second. Although he had worked in emergency medicine for some time, paediatric emergency care on this scale was a whole new ball game. The newly opened paediatric A&E unit accepted patients from a wide area and not just from Dalverston itself. Built on a separate site to the main hospital, it boasted the most up-to-date facilities available. Everything was geared up for children, from the bright and airy waiting room, which sported comfortable couches rather than the usual hard plastic chairs, to the on-site Radiography unit. X-rays, CT and MRI scans were all carried out in rooms that had been made as child-friendly as possible. Colourful murals adorned the walls and the staff wore brightly coloured polo shirts instead of their usual uniforms. Even the gowns the children were given to wear were printed with cartoon characters and had easy-to-fasten Velcro tabs instead of fiddly ties.
Whilst Mac knew that all these things were incidentals, they helped to put the children at their ease and that, in turn, helped him and the rest of the team do their job. By the time his shift ended, he knew that he was going to enjoy working there. Not only would it allow him to develop his skills in paediatric medicine, but it promised to be a fun place to work too. Several of the nurses were leaving at the same time as him so he held the door open for them, bowing low as they all trooped past.
‘After you, ladies,’ he said, grinning up at them.
‘Thank you, my man,’ one of them replied, sticking her nose into the air as she sallied forth.
They all laughed, Mac included, and it was a pleasant change to enjoy a bit of light-hearted banter. He hadn’t been overstating how bad things had been on his most recent aid mission. It had been extremely grim at times and it was a relief to feel that he could legitimately enjoy himself, even though he didn’t regret going and would do the same thing again if it were necessary. He often thought that he had the best of both worlds: he got to help people who were in dire need of his skills and he also had a job he loved to come back to. There was nothing else he could wish for … except, maybe, someone to share his life.
‘Thank you.’
The cool tones brought him up short. Mac straightened abruptly when he recognised Bella’s voice, feeling decidedly awkward at being caught on the hop. Although he and Bella had spoken several times during the day, their conversations had been confined to work. He had made sure of it, in fact. Although he had promised himself that he wouldn’t say anything to her about Tim, he had realised how hard it was going to be to bite his tongue. Bella had let Tim down. Badly. And it was painful to know that she was capable of such behaviour when he had expected so much more from her.
‘You’re welcome.’ He forced himself to smile even though his insides were churning with all the conflicting emotions. On the one hand he knew it was none of his business, yet on the other it still hurt to know that she had fallen so far short of the picture he had held of her. ‘It’s been a busy day, hasn’t it?’ he said, struggling to get his feelings in check. It wouldn’t serve any purpose whatsoever to tell her how disappointed he felt, how let down. After all, why should she care how he felt when she obviously didn’t care about Tim?
‘It has. We’re seeing more and more children now that word has spread that we’re open. Obviously, the other hospitals know we’re up and running, but it’s the parents bringing in their children that has made the difference.’
She gave a little shrug, immediately drawing his eyes to the slender lines of her body, elegantly encased in an emerald-green coat that he knew without needing to be told was from some exclusive designer’s collection. Bella had money—a great deal of money that she had been left by her grandparents—and it showed in the way she dressed, even though she had never flaunted her wealth. It was a tiny point in her favour and Mac found himself clinging to it. Maybe it was silly but he wanted to find something good about her, something to redress the balance a little. His smile was less forced this time.
‘It must take the pressure off the other A&E departments if more kids are being treated here. That can only be a good thing.’
‘Yes, although so many A&E units have closed that the ones which are left are still under a great deal of pressure.’
Bella headed towards the car park, making it clear that she didn’t expect Mac to accompany her. He hesitated, wondering why he felt so ambivalent all of a sudden. He had been planning an evening doing nothing more taxing than watching television. It was what he needed, some downtime after the hectic couple of months he’d had and yet, surprisingly, he was loath to spend the evening slumped in front of the box. He came to a swift decision even though his brain was telling him that he was making a mistake.
‘Do you fancy grabbing a bite to eat?’ he said as he caught up with her. He saw the surprise on her face when she glanced round but he ignored it. For some reason he didn’t intend to examine too closely, he wanted to spend the evening with her. ‘Nothing fancy, just a curry or something.’
‘I don’t know if it’s a good idea.’ She stopped and looked him straight in the eyes and he could see the challenge in her gaze. ‘It’s obvious how you feel, Mac. You blame me for what’s happened, don’t you?’
‘So why don’t you set the record straight and tell me your side of the story?’
He shrugged, wishing he felt as indifferent as he was trying to make out. Maybe he was wrong to blame her, but he couldn’t help it when he felt so let down. For all these years he had considered her to be the model of perfection and he didn’t want to have to change his view of her, especially when he sensed that it could have repercussions. Now that Bella had fallen from her pedestal, she was just a woman like any other. A woman he had always been deeply attracted to.
The thought made his insides churn and he hurried on. ‘It seems only fair to me.’
‘Sorry, but it isn’t going to happen. I have no intention of trying to justify myself to you or to anyone else.’
She carried on walking, ignoring him as she got into her car. Mac stared after her, wondering why she was being so stubborn. Leaving aside his reasons for wanting to get at the truth, surely it would make sense for her to explain why she had called time on her marriage? Nobody liked being blamed for something they hadn’t done and Bella must be no different …
Unless the truth was that she was too embarrassed to admit that she had been at fault.
Mac’s mouth thinned as he watched her drive away. Bella knew that she had been wrong to abandon Tim when he had needed her so desperately and that was why she couldn’t face the thought of talking about it. Although his opinion of her had already dropped way down the scale, it slid even further. Bella was a long way from being perfect, it seemed.
Bella spent a miserable evening. Not even the latest bestseller could take her mind off what had happened. Should she have done as Mac had suggested and told him her version—the real version—about what had gone on?
She kept mulling it over, wishing that she had and then just as quickly dismissing the idea. Once she set off down that route there would be no turning back; she would have to wait and see if Mac believed her. The thought that he might think she was lying was more than she could bear. It would be better not to say anything rather than have to endure his contempt.
She was due in to work at lunchtime the following day. By the time she arrived, there was quite a long queue of patients waiting to be seen. Janet waved as she crossed Reception and Bella waved back although she didn’t stop. There was a child screaming and it seemed propitious to go and check what was happening before the other children started to get upset. The noise was coming from the treatment room so she went straight there, frowning when she opened the door and was assailed by the shrill screams of an angry toddler.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked, dropping her coat onto a chair.
‘Alfie fell off his scooter and cut his knee,’ Laura Watson, one of their most experienced nurses, told her. She rolled her eyes. ‘Unfortunately, he won’t let me look at it ‘cos it’s sore.’
‘I see.’ Bella crouched down in front of the little boy. He was clinging to an older woman who she guessed was his grandmother. ‘That’s an awful lot of noise, Alfie. You’re going to scare Robbie if you scream like that.’
The little boy stopped screaming and peeped at her through his fingers, distracted by the mention of the unknown Robbie. Bella smiled at him. ‘That’s better. Have you met Robbie yet? He’s rather shy and only comes out of his cupboard when he thinks nobody is looking. I’ll go and see if I can find him.’
Standing up, she crossed the room and opened one of the cupboards that held their supplies. Robbie, the toy rabbit, was sitting on a shelf so she lifted him down and carried him back to the little boy.
‘Here he is. He must like you, Alfie, because he came straight out of his cupboard and didn’t try to hide.’ She handed the toy to the child then glanced at the older woman. ‘If you could pop him on the bed then I can take a look at his knee,’ she said sotto voce.
The woman quickly complied, sighing with relief when Alfie carried on playing with the toy. ‘Thank heavens for that! I thought he would never stop screaming.’ She smiled at Bella. ‘You must have children, my dear. It’s obvious that you know just how to distract them.’
‘Sadly, no, I don’t.’
Bella smiled, trying to ignore the pang of regret that pierced her heart. Having a family had always been her dearest wish, something she had assumed would happen once she had got married, but Tim had never been keen on the idea. Whenever she had broached the subject, he had brushed it aside, claiming that he had no intention of being tied down by a baby at that stage in his life. It was only after she had told him that she wanted a divorce that he had tried to persuade her to stay with promises of them starting a family, but she had refused. The last thing she’d wanted was to have a child to hold their marriage together, a sticking-plaster baby.
‘Then you should.’ Alfie’s grandmother laughed ruefully as she ruffled her grandson’s hair. ‘Oh, they’re hard work, but having children is one of life’s blessings. And there’s no doubt that you’d make a wonderful mother!’
Mac paused outside the treatment room. The door was ajar and he had heard every word. He frowned as he recalled the regret in Bella’s voice when she had explained that she didn’t have any children. Quite frankly, he couldn’t understand it. According to Tim, Bella had refused his pleas to start a family, claiming that her career came first and that having children was way down her list of priorities, but it hadn’t sounded like that, had it? It made him wonder all of a sudden if Tim had been telling him the truth.
It was the first time that Mac had considered the idea that his friend might not have been totally honest and it troubled him. He had accepted what Tim had said without question but had he been right to do so? What if Tim had tried to cast himself in a more favourable light by laying the blame on Bella? What if it hadn’t been all her fault that the marriage had failed? What if Tim had been more than partly to blame?
After all, it couldn’t have been easy for her to cope with Tim’s dependence on those painkillers. Mac had worked in a rehab unit and he knew from experience how unreasonable people could be when they were in the throes of an addiction. Bella must have been through the mill—struggling to help Tim conquer his addiction, struggling to support him even when his behaviour probably hadn’t been as good as it should have been. As he made his way to the cubicles, Mac realised that he needed to get to the bottom of what had gone on. Although Tim was his oldest friend, he owed it to Bella to ascertain the true facts. The thought that he might have misjudged her didn’t sit easily with him, quite frankly.
Mac didn’t get a chance to speak to Bella until it was almost time for him to go off duty. He was on his way to the office when he saw her coming along the corridor. She gave him a cool smile as she went to walk past, but there was no way that he was prepared to leave matters the way they were. It was too important that they got this sorted out, even though he wasn’t sure why it seemed so urgent.
‘Have you got a second?’ he asked, putting out his hand. His fingers brushed against her arm and he felt a flash of something akin to an electric current shoot through him. It was all he could do to maintain an outward show of composure when it felt as though his pulse was fizzing from the charge. ‘There’s something I need to ask you.’
‘I’m just on my way to phone the lab about some results I need,’ she said quietly. However, he heard the tremor in her voice and realised that she had felt it too, felt that surge of electricity that had passed between them.
‘Oh, right. Well, I won’t hold you up. Maybe we can meet later? You’re due a break soon, aren’t you? How about coffee in the canteen?’ he suggested, struggling to get a grip. What on earth was going on? This was Bella, Tim’s wife—OK, technically, she was Tim’s ex-wife—but it still didn’t seem right that he should be acting this way, yet he couldn’t seem to stop it.
‘Why? I don’t mean to be rude, Mac, but why do you want us to have coffee?’
She stared back at him, her green eyes searching his face in a way that made him feel more than a little uncomfortable. If he came straight out and admitted that he wanted to check if she was solely to blame for the demise of her marriage then it would hardly endear him to her, would it? He came to a swift decision.
‘Because we need to clear the air.’ He shrugged, opting for a half-truth rather than the full monty. ‘I get the impression that working with me is a strain for you, Bella, and it’s not what I want. It’s not what you want either, I expect.’
‘You’re imagining it. I don’t have a problem about working with you.’ She gave him a chilly smile. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me …’
She walked away, leaving him wishing that he hadn’t said anything. After all, he hadn’t achieved anything, probably made things even more awkward, in fact.
Mac sighed as he made his way to the office. That would teach him to poke his nose into matters that didn’t concern him. What had gone on between Tim and Bella was their business and he would be well advised to leave alone.
Bella worked straight through without even stopping for a break. Although they were busy, she could have taken a few minutes off if she’d wanted to, but she didn’t. Mac’s request to talk to her had unsettled her and she preferred to keep her mind on her patients rather than worry about it. She dealt with her final patient, a ten-year-old boy who had fallen off his bike and broken his arm. Once the X-rays had confirmed her diagnosis, she sent him to the plaster room and cleared up. Helen Robertson, one of the new F1s on the unit, grinned when Bella made her way to the nurses’ station to sign out.
‘Off home to put your feet up, are you? Or are you planning a wild night out?’
‘No chance. It’s straight home, supper and bed for me,’ Bella replied with a laugh. ‘My days of tripping the light fantastic are well and truly over!’
‘Oh, listen to her. You’d think she was in her dotage, wouldn’t you?’ Helen looked past Bella and raised her brows. ‘Maybe you can convince her that she can forgo the carpet slippers for a while longer!’
Bella glanced round to see who Helen was talking to and felt her heart lurch when she saw Mac standing behind her. She knew that he was supposed to have gone off duty several hours before and couldn’t understand what he was doing there … Unless he had stayed behind to talk to her? The thought filled her with dread. She didn’t want to talk to him about anything, neither her marriage nor what Tim had and hadn’t done. If she told Mac then she would have to face the possibility that he might not believe her and she couldn’t bear that, couldn’t stand to know that he thought she was lying.
She hurriedly signed her name in the register, adding the time of her departure. Mac was still talking to Helen, laughing at something the young doctor had said, so Bella headed for the door. It hummed open and she was outside, walking as fast as she could towards the car park. She could hear footsteps behind her and knew that Mac was following her but she didn’t slow down. He had no business harassing her this way! She had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t intend to discuss her marriage with him and he should accept that. All of a sudden anger got the better of her and she swung round.
‘Please stop! I don’t want to talk to you, so leave me alone.’
‘Why? What are you so scared about?’ He shrugged. ‘If I were in your shoes, I’d want to tell my side of the story, unless I had something to hide. Do you, Bella?’
‘No.’ She gave a bitter little laugh, unable to hide how hurt she felt at the suggestion. ‘I have nothing to hide but Tim’s told you what happened, and you obviously believe him, so what more is there to say? Why should I try to justify myself to you?’
‘Because I thought we were friends.’ He held out his hands, palms up, in a gesture of supplication that she found incredibly moving for some reason. ‘I can tell that you’re hurting and if there’s anything I can do to make it easier for you then that’s all I want.’
He paused. Bella had a feeling that he wasn’t sure if he should say what was on his mind and she bit her lip because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it either. She steeled herself when he continued.
‘I guess what I’m trying to say is that I care about you, Bella. It’s as simple as that.’
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_ea757fa5-801d-5e69-9db2-c05e9f798832)
MAC HELD HIS BREATH, hoping against hope that Bella would believe him. It was the truth, after all—he did care. He cared that she was hurting, cared that she had behaved so out of character. The Bella he knew would never have broken her marriage vows unless there had been a very good reason to do so.
‘Maybe you mean what you say, Mac, but it makes no difference.’ Bella’s icy tones sliced through the thoughts whizzing around his head and he flinched.
‘I do mean it,’ he said shortly, annoyed with himself. What possible reason could there be to excuse the way she had treated Tim? Tim had needed her, desperately, and she had failed him. There was no excuse whatsoever for that kind of behaviour, surely? And yet the niggling little doubt refused to go away.
‘Fine.’
She inclined her head but Mac could tell that she didn’t believe him and it stung to know that she doubted his word. Couldn’t she see that he was telling her the truth? Didn’t she know that he wouldn’t lie about something so important? It was on the tip of his tongue to remonstrate with her when it struck him that he was doing the very same thing. He was doubting her, blaming her for the demise of her marriage. What right did he have to take her to task when he was equally guilty?
The thought kept him silent and she obviously took it as a sign that he had given up. She went to her car, zapping the locks and getting in. Mac stayed where he was until the sound of the engine roused him. He had no idea what he was going to do but he had to do something. Maybe Bella was at fault, but he couldn’t just ignore the pain he had seen in her eyes. Flinging open the passenger door, he climbed into her car, holding up his hand when she rounded on him.
‘I know what you’re going to say, Bella. You don’t want to talk about your marriage. I also know that I’m probably poking my nose in where it’s not wanted …’
‘You are,’ she snapped, glaring at him.
‘OK. Fair enough. And I’m sorry. But, leaving all that aside, I meant what I said. I really do care that you’re upset.’ He reached over and squeezed her hand, hurriedly releasing it when he felt the now familiar surge of electricity scorch along his nerves. He didn’t want to scare her, certainly didn’t want her to think that he was trying to take advantage of her vulnerability by making a play for her!
Heat rose under his skin, a hot tide of embarrassment that was so unfamiliar that it would have brought him to his knees if he hadn’t been sitting down. Making a play for Bella had never been on the cards. From the moment they had met, Mac had known that she was beyond his reach and he had been perfectly happy with that state of affairs too. Although he had earned himself a bit of a reputation at university by dating a lot of women, he’d had no intention of settling down. He had been determined not to get involved with anyone, although he had been genuinely pleased when Bella and Tim had started seeing one another. They had been so well suited, their backgrounds so perfectly in tune that he couldn’t have found a better match for either of them.
It had been the same when they had announced their engagement some months later; he had been truly thrilled for them both and absolutely delighted when Tim had asked him to be his best man. It was only at the wedding that he had started to feel a little bit odd. Listening to Bella swearing to love, honour and care for Tim for the rest of her days had, surprisingly, made Mac feel as though he was about to lose something unutterably precious …
He drove the thought from his head. It was too late for it now; far too late to wish that he had said something, done something, stopped the wedding. How could he have jumped up in the middle of the ceremony and declared that he didn’t want Bella to marry Tim because he wanted her for himself? No, he had done the right thing—sat there and played his part to the best of his ability. And if there’d been an ache in his heart, well, he had accepted that he would have to learn to live with it.
That was why he had decided to sign on with Worlds Together, a leading overseas aid agency, after the wedding. He had been on over half a dozen missions to date and although he knew that he had helped a lot of people during that time, he had gained a lot too. He’d had three years to rationalise his feelings, three years to make sure they were safely under wraps. Why, if anyone had asked him a couple of weeks ago how he felt then he would have confidently told them that he was back on track. But not now. Not now that Bella was no longer Tim’s wife. Not now that she was available.
Mac swallowed his groan. Maybe he did want to help Bella but it could turn out that he was creating a lot of problems for himself by doing so.
Bella had no idea what was going on but the tension in the car was making her feel sick. She licked her parched lips, trying to think of something to say, but what exactly? If she ordered Mac to get out of the car, would he do so? Or would he ignore her and stay where he was? It was the not knowing that was the scariest thing of all because it denoted a massive shift in his attitude.
Mac’s behaviour towards her had always been impeccable in the past. He had treated her with an old-fashioned courtesy that she had found strangely endearing. Few men in the circles she had frequented had been so polite. The old ‘Hooray Henry’ syndrome had been very much alive, so that Mac’s thoughtfulness and maturity had set him apart. That was why she had enjoyed spending time with him, she realised in surprise. He hadn’t needed to shout or tell risqué stories to make himself stand out. Whenever Mac was around, people always knew he was there.
The thought stunned her. She had never realised before just how much Mac had impressed her. He had been an unknown quantity in so many ways, his background so different from hers that she had been afraid of saying something stupid that would betray her ignorance. Now, after working in the NHS for the past ten years, she had a much better idea of the world. She had treated many people from backgrounds similar to Mac’s and understood the hardships they faced. That Mac must have had to overcome all sorts of obstacles to qualify as a doctor merely highlighted his strength of character, his determination, his commitment. Few men could have taken on such a challenge and won.
Bella’s head whirled as thoughts that she had never entertained before rushed through it. Added to the strain she’d been under since the breakdown of her marriage, it made her feel very shaky. Leaning forward, she rested her throbbing forehead on the steering wheel.
‘Are you all right? Bella, what’s wrong? Answer me!’
The concern in Mac’s voice brought a rush of tears to her eyes. Although her parents had expressed polite sympathy when she had told them about the divorce, they hadn’t really cared about the effect it had had on her. They were too wrapped up in their own lives to put her first. As Mac had just done.
‘It’s just all too much,’ she whispered, unable to lie.
‘No wonder!’ Anger laced his deep voice as he got out of the car. He strode round to her side and flung open the door. ‘When I think what you must have been through recently—’ He broke off as he lifted her out of the car. Bella got the impression that he didn’t trust himself to say anything more as he carried her round to the passenger’s side. He gently deposited her on the seat and snapped the seat belt into place then looked at her. ‘Right, where to? You can go straight home or you can come back to my place. You decide.’
Bella bit her lip as she weighed up her choices, even though by rights she knew that she should tell him to take her home. She didn’t want to talk to him, especially not tonight when she felt so raw, so emotional, so very vulnerable.
‘Come on, Bella. Just choose where you want to go and I’ll take you there.’ His tone was so gentle, so persuasive, and Bella wanted to be persuaded so much …
‘Yours.’
Mac nodded as he closed the door. Walking round to the driver’s side, he got in and backed out of the parking space. He didn’t say a word as he drove out of the hospital gates. Bella had no idea where he lived and quite frankly didn’t care. Wherever it was, it had to be better than the soulless apartment she was renting. They drove for about fifteen minutes, the roads becoming increasingly narrow as they headed away from the town centre. Bella had done very little exploring since she had moved to Dalverston and had no idea where they were going until she saw the pale glint of water in the distance and realised they were heading towards the river. Mac slowed and turned down a narrow lane, drawing up on the grass verge.
‘We have to walk from here,’ he told her. ‘It’s not far, just five minutes or so, but we can’t take the car any further.’
Bella nodded as she unfastened her seat belt. She slid to the ground, breathing in the musky scent of damp vegetation. She could hear the river now, the softly sibilant whisper of the water providing a backdrop to the sound of the birds performing their evening chorus. It was so peaceful that she sighed.
‘It’s wonderful not to hear any traffic.’
‘One of the big advantages of living out in the sticks,’ Mac replied with a smile that made her breath catch.
He turned and led the way along the path, leaving her to follow, which she did once she had got her breath back. It was the way he had smiled at her that had done the damage—smiled at her the way Mac had used to do. Did it mean that he had forgiven her for her apparent misdemeanours? She doubted it, yet all of a sudden she felt better than she had done in ages. The world didn’t seem quite so grim now that Mac had smiled at her. How crazy was that?
Mac paused when they reached the riverbank. It was almost nine p.m. and the light was fading fast. In another month, there would still be enough daylight to light their way along the towpath but he was afraid that Bella would trip up in the dark. Holding out his hand, he smiled at her, determined to keep a rein on his emotions this time. He was offering to hold her hand for safety’s sake and not for his own nefarious reasons!
‘You’d better hold on to me. The path’s a bit slippery after all the rain we’ve had recently. I don’t want you ending up taking a dip.’
There was a moment when he sensed her hesitate before she slipped her hand into his. Mac sucked in his breath when he felt his libido immediately stir to life. OK, so, admittedly, he hadn’t made love to a woman in a very long time, but that had been his choice, hadn’t it? He had grown tired of dating for dating’s sake, had become weary of sex that hadn’t really meant anything. It had seemed better to step out of the game rather than continue the way he had been doing. However, it was completely out of order for him to start lusting after Bella. She’d been through enough without him making her life even more complicated.
Mac gave himself a stern talking-to as he led her along the towpath and, thankfully, it seemed to work. There were several boats tied up along the riverbank and he guided her around their mooring lines. They came to the last boat in the row and he stopped, suddenly feeling on edge as he wondered what she would make of his home. Although he loved the old boat—loved everything about it, from the tranquillity of its mooring to the fact that it was the first home he had owned—Bella had been brought up to expect so much more. He couldn’t help feeling a little bit … well, nervous about what she would make of it.
‘This is it,’ he announced, wincing when he heard the false note of bonhomie in his voice. It wasn’t like him to put up a front and he hated the fact that he’d felt it necessary. If Bella didn’t like his home—so what? It wouldn’t make a scrap of difference to him … Would it?
‘You live on a boat!’
The surprise in her voice made his teeth snap together as he forced down the urge to start apologising.
‘Yep. I bought it when I moved here. I couldn’t afford a house so I opted for this instead. It’s the perfect base when I’m in the UK. Come on. I’ll show you round.’
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Jennifer Taylor
A bride worth waiting for!Dr James MacIntyre had always hoped that Bella English would one day be more than just his ‘best friend’. But on Bella’s wedding day, Mac swore that his feelings would remain hidden for ever.Three years later and Mac is back at Dalverston – working in paediatrics alongside a newly divorced Bella! And it’s clear that those long-buried feelings are still as heartachingly, pulse-racingly powerful as before…Surely turning back the clock would be a bad idea…except that it feels so very, very right!
Dear Reader (#ulink_49300f21-31d5-5ee1-a0cf-c884b98b4f8d),
Should best friends fall in love? That is the question that both Bella and Mac ask themselves after they meet again following Bella’s divorce. Their relationship was so clear in the past: they were friends and nothing more than that. However, all of a sudden they find their feelings for one another changing.
It comes as a huge shock to Mac. After all, he’s convinced that Bella is to blame for the demise of her marriage. But the more time they spend together, the harder he finds it to believe that. As for Bella—well, she has never been good at relationships. She has always had great difficulty showing her feelings, so to suddenly discover just how hard it is to remain emotionally detached when Mac is around scares her. After all, she doesn’t have a good track record when it comes to relationships, does she? Even if it was her ex-husband’s fault that their marriage failed. Is it realistic to hope that she and Mac can switch from being friends to lovers?
Helping Bella and Mac work through their problems was a real pleasure. I grew extremely fond of them during the course of writing this book. They deserve to find happiness after everything they’ve been through, and I hope you will agree that they truly earn their happy ending.
Best wishes to you all
Jennifer
JENNIFER TAYLOR has been writing Mills & Boon® novels for some time, but discovered Medical Romance™ books relatively recently. She was so captivated by these heart-warming stories that she immediately set out to write them herself! Having worked in scientific research, Jennifer enjoys writing each book, as well as the chance to create a cast of wonderful new characters. Jennifer’s hobbies include reading and travelling. She lives in northwest England. Visit Jennifer’s blog at jennifertaylorauthor.wordpress.com (http://jennifertaylorauthor.wordpress.com)
Best Friend to Perfect Bride
Jennifer Taylor
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Dedication (#ulink_10d06786-beb6-5229-bab5-e49595361342)
For Charlotte, who told me about the boat Gallina, and for James, who owns her.
Many thanks for providing me with the perfect home for my hero.
Table of Contents
Cover (#uf3b88274-0bb8-5576-ad1b-476e1146de63)
Dear Reader (#u44e66974-8e5a-5ec2-ac28-8de714bf22c4)
About the Author (#u7b2e56ab-4e85-5d51-b980-4094d1f99422)
Title Page (#ud3a0cfa8-5277-5603-b5f7-88f33957a77c)
Dedication (#udadd88b3-e2b6-569f-8a2b-308c9b088e10)
CHAPTER ONE (#uc3426dd0-727d-5a91-9ccf-5b7235650c22)
CHAPTER TWO (#ud59d35c9-b3ea-5873-b7b4-5a61534e76ab)
CHAPTER THREE (#u9d9df353-8c23-531c-804f-f877155b8000)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_04bd836e-fe19-5cec-8db0-1e91397a8e2f)
SHE HADN’T CHANGED. Tall and slender, her red-gold hair coiled into an elegant knot at the nape of her neck, Bella English looked as beautiful today as she had done the last time he had seen her. On her wedding day.
‘Mac! I heard you were back. Good to see you, mate. How are you?’
‘Great, thanks, Lou.’
James MacIntyre—Mac to all who knew him—turned and grinned at the elderly porter. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Bella move away from the desk but he kept his attention firmly focused on the other man. After what his old friend Tim had told him, he wasn’t all that eager to speak to her.
‘You’re looking well, I must say, Lou. Obviously, moving to the new paediatric A&E unit has done you the power of good. You look a good ten years younger than the last time I saw you!’
‘I wish!’ Lou’s grizzled face broke into a wry smile. ‘It’d take major surgery to turn me into Dalverston’s very own version of George Clooney.’ He glanced over Mac’s shoulder and grimaced. ‘Anyway, I’d better get going. Catch you later.’
‘Yep.’
Mac didn’t need to check to see what had caused Lou to beat a hasty retreat. He could smell her perfume, that subtle fragrance of freesias that Bella always wore. She had told him once that it was made especially for her and that had fitted perfectly with everything he knew about her. Bella was the sort of woman who would have her very own perfume. Nothing about her was ordinary or commonplace.
Mac turned slowly around, taking stock of all the details he had missed before. Although Bella had always been slender, she was verging on thin now, he realised. And even though her complexion was as creamy as ever, there were dark circles under her green eyes that hinted at far too many sleepless nights. Was it guilt that had kept her awake? he wondered a shade bitterly. A noisy conscience clamouring to be heard, even if it was too late in the day? After all, even Bella must feel some degree of remorse about ending her marriage to Tim.
‘Hello, Mac. I heard you were back. How are you?’
The greeting was almost identical to Lou’s, but Mac had to admit that it made him want to respond very differently. He experienced an uncharacteristic urge to take her by the shoulders and shake her, demand to know why she had done such a cruel thing. She had ruined Tim’s life—didn’t she care? Didn’t she care either that she had broken all those promises she had made three years ago to love, honour and cherish the man she had married? He had sat through the ceremony, listened to her cool clear voice swearing a lifetime’s devotion, and had believed every word. If he was honest, he felt almost as let down as poor Tim must do.
The thought shocked him so that it was a moment before he answered. He and Bella had never been anything more than friends—he had made sure of that. So why should he feel so disillusioned? He blanked out the thought, knowing it was foolish to dwell on it. If he and Bella were to work together for the next few months, he couldn’t allow recent events to stand in the way.
‘Fine, thanks. Looking forward to working in the new unit.’ He glanced around and nodded. ‘It looks great, I must say. Obviously, no expense has been spared.’
‘No. Everything is state of the art. We’ve been open for almost a month now and I still have to pinch myself when I come into work. I can’t believe that we have such marvellous facilities to hand.’
She gave a husky laugh and Mac tensed when he felt the tiny hairs all over his body spring to attention. He had forgotten about her laugh, forgotten how soft it was, how sexy. It had been her laugh that he had noticed first, in fact. He had been standing in the lunch queue in the university’s refectory when he had heard a woman laugh and he had turned to see who it was …
He ditched that thought as well, not needing any more distractions. He knew where his loyalties lay, knew that if he had to take sides then he would be firmly allied to Tim. Tim had poured out the whole sorry tale, told him what had happened from start to finish, and whilst Mac was realistic enough to know that it was rarely all one person’s fault when a marriage ended, it was obvious that Bella was more at fault than Tim. No, Tim’s biggest mistake had been to love Bella too much and be too soft with her. The thought firmed his resolve and he smiled thinly at her.
‘Is that what brought you to Dalverston, the chance to work in a wonderful new facility like this? I must confess that I was surprised to learn you had moved out of London.’
‘It was one of the reasons, yes.’
Bella’s expression sobered and Mac’s heart twisted when he saw the pain in her eyes. Maybe Tim was hurting but Bella was hurting too, it seemed. The idea affected him far more than it should have done, far more than he wanted it to do. It was an effort not to let her see how he felt when she continued.
‘I needed to get away and moving up here seemed like the right thing to do. It’s a fresh start for me and, hopefully, it will be a fresh start for Tim as well.’
Bella could feel the animosity coming off Mac in huge waves and it hurt to know that he had judged her and obviously found her wanting. She knew that Tim would have told Mac his version of the story but she had hoped that Mac would wait until he had spoken to her before he started apportioning blame. However, it appeared that he had accepted what Tim had said without question. She was the one at fault, the bad guy who had called time on her marriage, while Tim was the innocent victim.
She swung round, refusing to stand there and try to justify herself. She had made up her mind that she wouldn’t retaliate after she had found out that Tim had been spreading all those lies about her. She had seen that happen with other couples, had watched as the situation had deteriorated into an unseemly sparring match, and she had sworn that she wouldn’t go down that route. People would believe what they wanted to believe anyway. If she tried to contest Tim’s claims that she had been unreasonable, that she had ruined his career, that she had ended their relationship rather than have a baby with him, few would believe her.
She had always been the reticent one in the relationship, the one who took longer to make friends, whereas Tim had always been very outgoing. Tim drew people to him and made instant friends of them, and if he tended to drop them just as quickly later, then nobody seemed to mind. No, if there were sides to be taken then most folk would take Tim’s. Including Mac, it seemed.
Pain stabbed her heart as she led the way to Reception. Even though she knew it was silly, she hated to think that she had sunk so low in Mac’s estimation. Dredging up a smile, she turned to Janet Davies, their receptionist, determined that she wasn’t going to let him know how she felt.
‘This is Dr MacIntyre, Janet. He’ll be covering the senior registrar’s post until Dr Timpson is fit to return to work following her accident.’
‘Oh, I know Mac. Who doesn’t?’ Janet got up and hurried around the desk to give Mac a hug. She grinned up at him. ‘So where was it this time? Africa? India? Outer Mongolia?’
‘The Philippines.’
Mac hugged Janet back, his face breaking into a smile that immediately warmed Bella’s heart. He had always had the most wonderful smile, she thought, then pulled herself up short. Maybe Mac had smiled at Janet with genuine warmth but he certainly hadn’t smiled at her that way.
‘Oh, grim.’ Janet grimaced. ‘Was it as bad as it looked on TV?’
‘Worse.’
Mac shook his head, his dark brown hair flopping untidily across his forehead. It needed trimming, Bella decided, even though it suited him, emphasising his craggy good looks and that air of toughness he projected. Mac looked exactly like the kind of man he was: tough, unflappable, someone you could depend on, someone who would never let you down. Her heart ached even harder at the thought. She could have done with Mac’s support this past difficult year.
‘The typhoon destroyed whole cities and left people with nothing except the clothes they stood up in. We had a devil of a job getting hold of even the most basic supplies in the beginning,’ he continued.
‘How awful!’ Janet shuddered as she went back to her seat. ‘Makes you grateful that you live here, doesn’t it.’
‘It does indeed.’ Mac grinned. ‘Even if it does rain a lot in this part of the world!’
Janet laughed as she reached for the telephone when it started ringing. Bella moved to the whiteboard and checked the list of names written on it, determined to start as she meant to go on. Maybe there were certain issues that she and Mac needed to address, but they were colleagues, first and foremost, and she intended to keep that at the forefront of her mind. There were just three children in cubicles and each of them had been seen and were currently awaiting the results of various tests. She pointed to the last name on the list when Mac joined her.
‘I’d like you to take a look at this one, if you wouldn’t mind. Chloe Adams, aged eight, admitted at four a.m. this morning complaining of a severe headache. She’d also been vomiting.’ She sighed. ‘Apparently, she’s been suffering from violent headaches for several weeks. Mum took her to their GP, who thought it was probably a sinus infection, but I’m not convinced.’
‘So what are you thinking?’ Mac queried. ‘That it’s something more sinister?’
‘Yes. I noticed a definite lack of coordination when I was examining her. It made me wonder if it’s a tumour. I asked Mum if she’d noticed anything—clumsy gait, frequent falls, that kind of thing—but she said she hadn’t.’ Bella shrugged. ‘Chloe is one of five children and I get the impression that her mother is finding it hard to cope since their father upped and left them at the beginning of the year.’
‘I see. It must be difficult for her when she’s been abandoned like that,’ Mac said blandly, so blandly in fact that Bella knew he was thinking about her situation.
Colour touched her cheeks as she led the way to the cubicles. She hadn’t abandoned Tim! She had left because Tim had made it impossible for her to stay. She had tried to help him, tried everything she could think of, but nothing had worked. He had been too dependent on the painkillers by then to give them up. Oh, he had promised that he would, swore that he had umpteen times, but he had lied. The drugs had changed him from the man she had married, turned him into someone who lied and deceived at the drop of a hat. It had reached the point where she simply couldn’t take any more and she had left and, amazingly, it had been the best thing she could have done for him.
Tim had sought help after that. He had admitted himself to rehab and finally kicked his habit. Maybe she should have gone back to him then—she had thought about it. But then she had found out about his affair and there hadn’t seemed any point. She would only have gone back out of a sense of duty and that hadn’t seemed right or fair to either of them.
It made her wonder all of a sudden if she had ever really loved him—loved him with the depth and intensity that people were supposed to feel when they married—if she hadn’t been prepared to fight for him. The problem was that she had never been truly in touch with her feelings. As the only child of career-minded parents, she had learned at an early age to keep her emotions in check. Even after she had grown up, she had always held back, had always been wary about letting herself feel. Tim had seemed like a safe bet—the type of man she was used to, someone from her own social circle, someone she felt comfortable with. Unlike Mac. Mac had been very different. Even though they’d only been friends, his self-assurance and experience of life had unsettled her. Everything about him had seemed alien. Dangerous. A threat to her peace of mind. He still was.
Bella’s breath caught. If Mac had seemed dangerous all those years ago, he was even more of a threat now that she was so vulnerable.
‘Mrs Adams? I’m Dr MacIntyre. Dr English has asked me to take a look at your daughter.’
Mac smiled at the harassed-looking woman sitting beside the bed. He knew that Bella was standing right behind him and forced himself to focus on the other woman. He had sworn that he would behave with the utmost propriety and wouldn’t take Bella to task about what she had done. Maybe he did believe that she had behaved deplorably by ending her marriage, but it wasn’t his place to say so.
‘She’s feeling a lot better now, aren’t you, Chloe?’ Donna Adams turned to the little girl, urging her to agree, and Mac sighed. No matter how long this took or how inconvenient it was for the mother, they needed to get to the bottom of Chloe’s problem.
‘That’s good to hear but I still think it would be best if we carried out a couple more tests.’ He smiled at the little girl. ‘We don’t want you having any more of those horrible headaches if we can avoid it, do we, Chloe?’
‘No.’ She smiled shyly back at him, clutching tight hold of a battered old teddy bear.
Mac grinned at her as he sat down on the edge of the bed. ‘What’s your teddy’s name? I have a bear just like him and he’s called Bruno.’
‘William.’ Chloe gave the bear a hug. ‘He’s my best friend and I take him everywhere.’
‘I expect he enjoys it.’ Mac took hold of the bear’s paw and solemnly shook it. ‘It’s nice to meet you, William. My name’s Dr Mac.’
Chloe giggled at this piece of nonsense, but Mac knew that it was important to gain her trust. He smiled at her again. ‘So, now the introductions are over, I need to ask you some questions, Chloe. There are no right or wrong answers, mind you. And if you want William to help you then that’s also fine. OK?’
‘OK,’ Chloe agreed happily.
‘So, Chloe, have you noticed that sometimes you don’t seem quite as steady on your feet as normal and fall over?’
‘Sometimes,’ Chloe murmured. She glanced at her mother then hurried on. ‘It happened in school the other day. I got up to fetch a piece of paper to do some painting and fell over. Teacher thought I was messing about and told me off.’
‘I see.’ Mac glanced at Bella and saw her nod. Poor balance could point towards a disturbance to the function of the cerebellum and was often an indication of a tumour. Although he hoped with all his heart it wasn’t that, it was looking increasingly likely.
‘And have you found it difficult to walk sometimes, as though your feet don’t want to do what you tell them to?’ he continued gently.
‘Yes. Sometimes they keep going the wrong way,’ Chloe told him guilelessly.
‘I’m sorry, Doctor, but what has this got to do with Chloe’s headaches?’ Donna Adams demanded.
‘It all helps to build up a picture of what might be wrong with Chloe,’ Mac explained, not wanting to go into detail just yet. If their suspicions were correct then there would be time enough for the poor woman to face the fact that her child was seriously ill. He stood up and smiled at Chloe. ‘I’m going to send you for a special scan, Chloe, so we can see what’s happening inside your head. I just need to make a phone call first and then the porter will take you and your mum downstairs to have it done.’
‘Will it take long?’ Donna Adams asked anxiously. ‘Only I’ve got to get the others ready for school. They’re with my neighbour at the moment but I can’t expect her to see to them. She’s in her eighties and it’s far too much for her.’
‘The scan itself won’t take very long,’ Bella said gently. ‘However, Chloe will need to stay here until we get the results back. Is there anyone else you can contact who could see to the children?’
‘No.’ Donna’s tone was bitter. ‘There’s nobody since their dad upped and left.’ She glanced at her daughter and sighed. ‘They’ll just have to miss school today, I suppose.’
Mac didn’t say anything as he followed Bella from the cubicle, but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t thinking it. Breaking promises was a definite no-no in his view. He only had to recall his own father’s despair after his mother had walked out on them to know that it was something he would never do. If he ever made a commitment then he would stick to it, no matter what.
He glanced at Bella and could tell from her expression that she knew what he was thinking, but it was hard luck. Letting Tim down the way she had was beyond the pale, in his opinion. She had promised to love and cherish Tim for the rest of her days but she hadn’t meant it. She couldn’t have done if at the first sign of trouble she had turned her back on him. He felt guilty enough about not being there when Tim had needed his support, even though he’d had no idea what his friend had been going through. However, Bella had been there and, as Tim’s wife, she should have been the one person he could rely on. It was little wonder that his friend was so devastated.
Mac’s mouth thinned as he followed her into the office. Maybe it was unfair of him to be so judgemental but he had always considered Bella to be the ideal woman. Not only was she beautiful, but she was highly intelligent too. Although he had been deeply attracted to her when they had met at Cambridge, he had been ever so slightly in awe of her as well. The fact that she had kept herself aloof from the rest of their class had only added to her allure, in fact.
He had never been the reticent type. His upbringing, on a council estate on the outskirts of Manchester, hadn’t allowed for such luxury. He had learned early on that he needed to be tough to survive, focused and determined if he hoped to achieve his goal of becoming a doctor. Bella had been very different from the girls he had known at home, different too from the rest of the women in their year at university. Although many of them had come from privileged backgrounds too, Bella had stood out: her perfection had made her special. To discover that she wasn’t perfect after all had hit him hard. For all these years he had put her on a pedestal but the truth was that Bella was just a woman like any other, a woman who could make and break promises. She wasn’t special. And she wasn’t out of his league, as he had always believed.
Mac frowned. It was the first time that thought had crossed his mind and he didn’t like it. Not one little bit. Or the one that followed it. There was nothing to stop him making a play for Bella now.
Sadly, the results of Chloe’s scan only confirmed their suspicions. Bella sighed as she studied the monitor. ‘There’s no doubt about it, is there? That’s definitely a tumour.’
‘It is.’
Mac leant forward to get a better look and she tensed when his shoulder brushed against hers. She moved aside, not enjoying the fact that her heart seemed to be beating far faster than it normally did. She cleared her throat. The last thing she needed was Mac thinking that he had any kind of effect on her.
‘It’s probably a medulloblastoma, wouldn’t you say? That’s one of the most common types of brain tumour that occur in children.’
‘Oh, yes. The fact that it’s arisen in the cerebellum makes it almost a certainty,’ he concurred.
‘Chloe’s going to need immediate treatment,’ Bella said, focusing on their patient in the hope that it would stop her thoughts wandering again. Maybe she did seem to be unusually aware of Mac, but that was only to be expected. Ever since she’d heard he was back in England, she had been on edge. After all, Mac was Tim’s best friend and it must be hard for him to accept what had happened. It was bound to lead to a certain degree of … well, tension between them. The thought was reassuring and she hurried on.
‘From what I’ve read, medulloblastomas can grow very rapidly and spread to other parts of the brain as well as to the spinal cord.’
‘That’s right. Chloe needs to be seen by an oncologist ASAP so we shall have to set that up. She’ll probably need radiotherapy as well as chemotherapy if she’s to have any chance of surviving this.’ He shook his head and Bella saw the sorrow in his eyes. ‘I feel sorry for her mother. It’s going to be a huge shock for her.’
‘It will be a lot for her to deal with, especially with having the other children to look after,’ Bella agreed quietly. ‘Just travelling back and forth to hospital while Chloe receives treatment will be a major task with her not having any backup.’
‘It will.’
Mac’s tone was flat. Although there was no hint of censure in his voice, Bella knew that he was thinking about the way she had seemingly deserted Tim in his hour of need. The urge to tell him the truth—the real truth, not the version that Tim was determined to tell everyone—was very strong but she refused to go down that path. It wouldn’t improve Mac’s opinion of her if she tried to apportion blame; it could have the opposite effect, in fact.
It was hard to accept that there was very little she could do, but Bella knew there was no point agonising about it. Switching off the monitor, she turned to leave the office. ‘I’ll go and have a word with Mrs Adams,’ she said over her shoulder. ‘The sooner she knows what’s going on, the better.’
‘Fine. Do you want me to phone Oncology and start the ball rolling?’ Mac offered, following her out to the corridor.
‘If you wouldn’t mind … Oh, they’ve got a new phone number. They’re starting the refurbishments today so they’ve moved temporarily into the old building. I’ll get it for you.’ Bella went to go back into the office and staggered when she cannoned into Mac.
‘Sorry.’ He grinned as he set her safely back on her feet. ‘I didn’t expect you to turn round so suddenly, or that’s my excuse, anyway. It’s got nothing whatsoever to do with me being born clumsy!’
‘No harm done,’ she assured him, although she could feel heat flowing from the point where his hands were gripping her shoulders. She stepped back, setting some much-needed space between them, or much-needed by her, at least. Mac appeared unmoved by the contact. ‘Janet should have Oncology’s new number, now that I think about it,’ she said, hastily squashing that thought. ‘Let me know what they say, won’t you?’
‘Will do.’
He sketched her a wave as he headed to Reception. Bella watched until he disappeared from sight then made her way to the cubicles. She wasn’t looking forward to the next few minutes. Breaking bad news to a parent was always difficult and one of the few things she disliked about her job …
Her breath caught as she felt the heat finally consume her entire body. It felt as though she was on fire, burning up, inside and out, and all because Mac had touched her. She couldn’t recall ever feeling this way before, couldn’t remember when the touch of a man’s hands had set her alight, not even when Tim had made love to her. What did it mean? Or didn’t it mean anything really? Was it simply the lack of intimacy that had made her so susceptible all of a sudden?
Once Tim had become hooked on the painkillers, they had stopped making love. He hadn’t been interested in anything apart from where his next fix was coming from and she hadn’t been able to stand the thought of them being intimate when it wouldn’t have meant anything. It was almost two years since they had slept together and there had been nobody else since, or at least not for her. Was that why she felt so aware of her body all of a sudden, so emotionally charged? It wasn’t Mac’s touch per se that had aroused her but the fact that she had been denied an outlet for her feelings for such a long time?
Bella told herself that it was the real explanation; however, as she entered the cubicle, she knew in her heart that it was only partly true. Maybe the lack of intimacy was a contributing factor but she doubted if she would have reacted this way if another man had touched her the way Mac had done. The truth was that she had always been aware of him even though they had never been anything more than friends. There was something about him that she responded to, even though she had refused to acknowledge it. It made her see just how careful she needed to be. The last thing she wanted was to start craving Mac’s touch when it was obvious how he felt about her.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_b4bb22ae-9c18-5269-94c7-ae6d320894af)
IT WAS A busy day but Mac enjoyed every second. Although he had worked in emergency medicine for some time, paediatric emergency care on this scale was a whole new ball game. The newly opened paediatric A&E unit accepted patients from a wide area and not just from Dalverston itself. Built on a separate site to the main hospital, it boasted the most up-to-date facilities available. Everything was geared up for children, from the bright and airy waiting room, which sported comfortable couches rather than the usual hard plastic chairs, to the on-site Radiography unit. X-rays, CT and MRI scans were all carried out in rooms that had been made as child-friendly as possible. Colourful murals adorned the walls and the staff wore brightly coloured polo shirts instead of their usual uniforms. Even the gowns the children were given to wear were printed with cartoon characters and had easy-to-fasten Velcro tabs instead of fiddly ties.
Whilst Mac knew that all these things were incidentals, they helped to put the children at their ease and that, in turn, helped him and the rest of the team do their job. By the time his shift ended, he knew that he was going to enjoy working there. Not only would it allow him to develop his skills in paediatric medicine, but it promised to be a fun place to work too. Several of the nurses were leaving at the same time as him so he held the door open for them, bowing low as they all trooped past.
‘After you, ladies,’ he said, grinning up at them.
‘Thank you, my man,’ one of them replied, sticking her nose into the air as she sallied forth.
They all laughed, Mac included, and it was a pleasant change to enjoy a bit of light-hearted banter. He hadn’t been overstating how bad things had been on his most recent aid mission. It had been extremely grim at times and it was a relief to feel that he could legitimately enjoy himself, even though he didn’t regret going and would do the same thing again if it were necessary. He often thought that he had the best of both worlds: he got to help people who were in dire need of his skills and he also had a job he loved to come back to. There was nothing else he could wish for … except, maybe, someone to share his life.
‘Thank you.’
The cool tones brought him up short. Mac straightened abruptly when he recognised Bella’s voice, feeling decidedly awkward at being caught on the hop. Although he and Bella had spoken several times during the day, their conversations had been confined to work. He had made sure of it, in fact. Although he had promised himself that he wouldn’t say anything to her about Tim, he had realised how hard it was going to be to bite his tongue. Bella had let Tim down. Badly. And it was painful to know that she was capable of such behaviour when he had expected so much more from her.
‘You’re welcome.’ He forced himself to smile even though his insides were churning with all the conflicting emotions. On the one hand he knew it was none of his business, yet on the other it still hurt to know that she had fallen so far short of the picture he had held of her. ‘It’s been a busy day, hasn’t it?’ he said, struggling to get his feelings in check. It wouldn’t serve any purpose whatsoever to tell her how disappointed he felt, how let down. After all, why should she care how he felt when she obviously didn’t care about Tim?
‘It has. We’re seeing more and more children now that word has spread that we’re open. Obviously, the other hospitals know we’re up and running, but it’s the parents bringing in their children that has made the difference.’
She gave a little shrug, immediately drawing his eyes to the slender lines of her body, elegantly encased in an emerald-green coat that he knew without needing to be told was from some exclusive designer’s collection. Bella had money—a great deal of money that she had been left by her grandparents—and it showed in the way she dressed, even though she had never flaunted her wealth. It was a tiny point in her favour and Mac found himself clinging to it. Maybe it was silly but he wanted to find something good about her, something to redress the balance a little. His smile was less forced this time.
‘It must take the pressure off the other A&E departments if more kids are being treated here. That can only be a good thing.’
‘Yes, although so many A&E units have closed that the ones which are left are still under a great deal of pressure.’
Bella headed towards the car park, making it clear that she didn’t expect Mac to accompany her. He hesitated, wondering why he felt so ambivalent all of a sudden. He had been planning an evening doing nothing more taxing than watching television. It was what he needed, some downtime after the hectic couple of months he’d had and yet, surprisingly, he was loath to spend the evening slumped in front of the box. He came to a swift decision even though his brain was telling him that he was making a mistake.
‘Do you fancy grabbing a bite to eat?’ he said as he caught up with her. He saw the surprise on her face when she glanced round but he ignored it. For some reason he didn’t intend to examine too closely, he wanted to spend the evening with her. ‘Nothing fancy, just a curry or something.’
‘I don’t know if it’s a good idea.’ She stopped and looked him straight in the eyes and he could see the challenge in her gaze. ‘It’s obvious how you feel, Mac. You blame me for what’s happened, don’t you?’
‘So why don’t you set the record straight and tell me your side of the story?’
He shrugged, wishing he felt as indifferent as he was trying to make out. Maybe he was wrong to blame her, but he couldn’t help it when he felt so let down. For all these years he had considered her to be the model of perfection and he didn’t want to have to change his view of her, especially when he sensed that it could have repercussions. Now that Bella had fallen from her pedestal, she was just a woman like any other. A woman he had always been deeply attracted to.
The thought made his insides churn and he hurried on. ‘It seems only fair to me.’
‘Sorry, but it isn’t going to happen. I have no intention of trying to justify myself to you or to anyone else.’
She carried on walking, ignoring him as she got into her car. Mac stared after her, wondering why she was being so stubborn. Leaving aside his reasons for wanting to get at the truth, surely it would make sense for her to explain why she had called time on her marriage? Nobody liked being blamed for something they hadn’t done and Bella must be no different …
Unless the truth was that she was too embarrassed to admit that she had been at fault.
Mac’s mouth thinned as he watched her drive away. Bella knew that she had been wrong to abandon Tim when he had needed her so desperately and that was why she couldn’t face the thought of talking about it. Although his opinion of her had already dropped way down the scale, it slid even further. Bella was a long way from being perfect, it seemed.
Bella spent a miserable evening. Not even the latest bestseller could take her mind off what had happened. Should she have done as Mac had suggested and told him her version—the real version—about what had gone on?
She kept mulling it over, wishing that she had and then just as quickly dismissing the idea. Once she set off down that route there would be no turning back; she would have to wait and see if Mac believed her. The thought that he might think she was lying was more than she could bear. It would be better not to say anything rather than have to endure his contempt.
She was due in to work at lunchtime the following day. By the time she arrived, there was quite a long queue of patients waiting to be seen. Janet waved as she crossed Reception and Bella waved back although she didn’t stop. There was a child screaming and it seemed propitious to go and check what was happening before the other children started to get upset. The noise was coming from the treatment room so she went straight there, frowning when she opened the door and was assailed by the shrill screams of an angry toddler.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked, dropping her coat onto a chair.
‘Alfie fell off his scooter and cut his knee,’ Laura Watson, one of their most experienced nurses, told her. She rolled her eyes. ‘Unfortunately, he won’t let me look at it ‘cos it’s sore.’
‘I see.’ Bella crouched down in front of the little boy. He was clinging to an older woman who she guessed was his grandmother. ‘That’s an awful lot of noise, Alfie. You’re going to scare Robbie if you scream like that.’
The little boy stopped screaming and peeped at her through his fingers, distracted by the mention of the unknown Robbie. Bella smiled at him. ‘That’s better. Have you met Robbie yet? He’s rather shy and only comes out of his cupboard when he thinks nobody is looking. I’ll go and see if I can find him.’
Standing up, she crossed the room and opened one of the cupboards that held their supplies. Robbie, the toy rabbit, was sitting on a shelf so she lifted him down and carried him back to the little boy.
‘Here he is. He must like you, Alfie, because he came straight out of his cupboard and didn’t try to hide.’ She handed the toy to the child then glanced at the older woman. ‘If you could pop him on the bed then I can take a look at his knee,’ she said sotto voce.
The woman quickly complied, sighing with relief when Alfie carried on playing with the toy. ‘Thank heavens for that! I thought he would never stop screaming.’ She smiled at Bella. ‘You must have children, my dear. It’s obvious that you know just how to distract them.’
‘Sadly, no, I don’t.’
Bella smiled, trying to ignore the pang of regret that pierced her heart. Having a family had always been her dearest wish, something she had assumed would happen once she had got married, but Tim had never been keen on the idea. Whenever she had broached the subject, he had brushed it aside, claiming that he had no intention of being tied down by a baby at that stage in his life. It was only after she had told him that she wanted a divorce that he had tried to persuade her to stay with promises of them starting a family, but she had refused. The last thing she’d wanted was to have a child to hold their marriage together, a sticking-plaster baby.
‘Then you should.’ Alfie’s grandmother laughed ruefully as she ruffled her grandson’s hair. ‘Oh, they’re hard work, but having children is one of life’s blessings. And there’s no doubt that you’d make a wonderful mother!’
Mac paused outside the treatment room. The door was ajar and he had heard every word. He frowned as he recalled the regret in Bella’s voice when she had explained that she didn’t have any children. Quite frankly, he couldn’t understand it. According to Tim, Bella had refused his pleas to start a family, claiming that her career came first and that having children was way down her list of priorities, but it hadn’t sounded like that, had it? It made him wonder all of a sudden if Tim had been telling him the truth.
It was the first time that Mac had considered the idea that his friend might not have been totally honest and it troubled him. He had accepted what Tim had said without question but had he been right to do so? What if Tim had tried to cast himself in a more favourable light by laying the blame on Bella? What if it hadn’t been all her fault that the marriage had failed? What if Tim had been more than partly to blame?
After all, it couldn’t have been easy for her to cope with Tim’s dependence on those painkillers. Mac had worked in a rehab unit and he knew from experience how unreasonable people could be when they were in the throes of an addiction. Bella must have been through the mill—struggling to help Tim conquer his addiction, struggling to support him even when his behaviour probably hadn’t been as good as it should have been. As he made his way to the cubicles, Mac realised that he needed to get to the bottom of what had gone on. Although Tim was his oldest friend, he owed it to Bella to ascertain the true facts. The thought that he might have misjudged her didn’t sit easily with him, quite frankly.
Mac didn’t get a chance to speak to Bella until it was almost time for him to go off duty. He was on his way to the office when he saw her coming along the corridor. She gave him a cool smile as she went to walk past, but there was no way that he was prepared to leave matters the way they were. It was too important that they got this sorted out, even though he wasn’t sure why it seemed so urgent.
‘Have you got a second?’ he asked, putting out his hand. His fingers brushed against her arm and he felt a flash of something akin to an electric current shoot through him. It was all he could do to maintain an outward show of composure when it felt as though his pulse was fizzing from the charge. ‘There’s something I need to ask you.’
‘I’m just on my way to phone the lab about some results I need,’ she said quietly. However, he heard the tremor in her voice and realised that she had felt it too, felt that surge of electricity that had passed between them.
‘Oh, right. Well, I won’t hold you up. Maybe we can meet later? You’re due a break soon, aren’t you? How about coffee in the canteen?’ he suggested, struggling to get a grip. What on earth was going on? This was Bella, Tim’s wife—OK, technically, she was Tim’s ex-wife—but it still didn’t seem right that he should be acting this way, yet he couldn’t seem to stop it.
‘Why? I don’t mean to be rude, Mac, but why do you want us to have coffee?’
She stared back at him, her green eyes searching his face in a way that made him feel more than a little uncomfortable. If he came straight out and admitted that he wanted to check if she was solely to blame for the demise of her marriage then it would hardly endear him to her, would it? He came to a swift decision.
‘Because we need to clear the air.’ He shrugged, opting for a half-truth rather than the full monty. ‘I get the impression that working with me is a strain for you, Bella, and it’s not what I want. It’s not what you want either, I expect.’
‘You’re imagining it. I don’t have a problem about working with you.’ She gave him a chilly smile. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me …’
She walked away, leaving him wishing that he hadn’t said anything. After all, he hadn’t achieved anything, probably made things even more awkward, in fact.
Mac sighed as he made his way to the office. That would teach him to poke his nose into matters that didn’t concern him. What had gone on between Tim and Bella was their business and he would be well advised to leave alone.
Bella worked straight through without even stopping for a break. Although they were busy, she could have taken a few minutes off if she’d wanted to, but she didn’t. Mac’s request to talk to her had unsettled her and she preferred to keep her mind on her patients rather than worry about it. She dealt with her final patient, a ten-year-old boy who had fallen off his bike and broken his arm. Once the X-rays had confirmed her diagnosis, she sent him to the plaster room and cleared up. Helen Robertson, one of the new F1s on the unit, grinned when Bella made her way to the nurses’ station to sign out.
‘Off home to put your feet up, are you? Or are you planning a wild night out?’
‘No chance. It’s straight home, supper and bed for me,’ Bella replied with a laugh. ‘My days of tripping the light fantastic are well and truly over!’
‘Oh, listen to her. You’d think she was in her dotage, wouldn’t you?’ Helen looked past Bella and raised her brows. ‘Maybe you can convince her that she can forgo the carpet slippers for a while longer!’
Bella glanced round to see who Helen was talking to and felt her heart lurch when she saw Mac standing behind her. She knew that he was supposed to have gone off duty several hours before and couldn’t understand what he was doing there … Unless he had stayed behind to talk to her? The thought filled her with dread. She didn’t want to talk to him about anything, neither her marriage nor what Tim had and hadn’t done. If she told Mac then she would have to face the possibility that he might not believe her and she couldn’t bear that, couldn’t stand to know that he thought she was lying.
She hurriedly signed her name in the register, adding the time of her departure. Mac was still talking to Helen, laughing at something the young doctor had said, so Bella headed for the door. It hummed open and she was outside, walking as fast as she could towards the car park. She could hear footsteps behind her and knew that Mac was following her but she didn’t slow down. He had no business harassing her this way! She had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t intend to discuss her marriage with him and he should accept that. All of a sudden anger got the better of her and she swung round.
‘Please stop! I don’t want to talk to you, so leave me alone.’
‘Why? What are you so scared about?’ He shrugged. ‘If I were in your shoes, I’d want to tell my side of the story, unless I had something to hide. Do you, Bella?’
‘No.’ She gave a bitter little laugh, unable to hide how hurt she felt at the suggestion. ‘I have nothing to hide but Tim’s told you what happened, and you obviously believe him, so what more is there to say? Why should I try to justify myself to you?’
‘Because I thought we were friends.’ He held out his hands, palms up, in a gesture of supplication that she found incredibly moving for some reason. ‘I can tell that you’re hurting and if there’s anything I can do to make it easier for you then that’s all I want.’
He paused. Bella had a feeling that he wasn’t sure if he should say what was on his mind and she bit her lip because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it either. She steeled herself when he continued.
‘I guess what I’m trying to say is that I care about you, Bella. It’s as simple as that.’
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_ea757fa5-801d-5e69-9db2-c05e9f798832)
MAC HELD HIS BREATH, hoping against hope that Bella would believe him. It was the truth, after all—he did care. He cared that she was hurting, cared that she had behaved so out of character. The Bella he knew would never have broken her marriage vows unless there had been a very good reason to do so.
‘Maybe you mean what you say, Mac, but it makes no difference.’ Bella’s icy tones sliced through the thoughts whizzing around his head and he flinched.
‘I do mean it,’ he said shortly, annoyed with himself. What possible reason could there be to excuse the way she had treated Tim? Tim had needed her, desperately, and she had failed him. There was no excuse whatsoever for that kind of behaviour, surely? And yet the niggling little doubt refused to go away.
‘Fine.’
She inclined her head but Mac could tell that she didn’t believe him and it stung to know that she doubted his word. Couldn’t she see that he was telling her the truth? Didn’t she know that he wouldn’t lie about something so important? It was on the tip of his tongue to remonstrate with her when it struck him that he was doing the very same thing. He was doubting her, blaming her for the demise of her marriage. What right did he have to take her to task when he was equally guilty?
The thought kept him silent and she obviously took it as a sign that he had given up. She went to her car, zapping the locks and getting in. Mac stayed where he was until the sound of the engine roused him. He had no idea what he was going to do but he had to do something. Maybe Bella was at fault, but he couldn’t just ignore the pain he had seen in her eyes. Flinging open the passenger door, he climbed into her car, holding up his hand when she rounded on him.
‘I know what you’re going to say, Bella. You don’t want to talk about your marriage. I also know that I’m probably poking my nose in where it’s not wanted …’
‘You are,’ she snapped, glaring at him.
‘OK. Fair enough. And I’m sorry. But, leaving all that aside, I meant what I said. I really do care that you’re upset.’ He reached over and squeezed her hand, hurriedly releasing it when he felt the now familiar surge of electricity scorch along his nerves. He didn’t want to scare her, certainly didn’t want her to think that he was trying to take advantage of her vulnerability by making a play for her!
Heat rose under his skin, a hot tide of embarrassment that was so unfamiliar that it would have brought him to his knees if he hadn’t been sitting down. Making a play for Bella had never been on the cards. From the moment they had met, Mac had known that she was beyond his reach and he had been perfectly happy with that state of affairs too. Although he had earned himself a bit of a reputation at university by dating a lot of women, he’d had no intention of settling down. He had been determined not to get involved with anyone, although he had been genuinely pleased when Bella and Tim had started seeing one another. They had been so well suited, their backgrounds so perfectly in tune that he couldn’t have found a better match for either of them.
It had been the same when they had announced their engagement some months later; he had been truly thrilled for them both and absolutely delighted when Tim had asked him to be his best man. It was only at the wedding that he had started to feel a little bit odd. Listening to Bella swearing to love, honour and care for Tim for the rest of her days had, surprisingly, made Mac feel as though he was about to lose something unutterably precious …
He drove the thought from his head. It was too late for it now; far too late to wish that he had said something, done something, stopped the wedding. How could he have jumped up in the middle of the ceremony and declared that he didn’t want Bella to marry Tim because he wanted her for himself? No, he had done the right thing—sat there and played his part to the best of his ability. And if there’d been an ache in his heart, well, he had accepted that he would have to learn to live with it.
That was why he had decided to sign on with Worlds Together, a leading overseas aid agency, after the wedding. He had been on over half a dozen missions to date and although he knew that he had helped a lot of people during that time, he had gained a lot too. He’d had three years to rationalise his feelings, three years to make sure they were safely under wraps. Why, if anyone had asked him a couple of weeks ago how he felt then he would have confidently told them that he was back on track. But not now. Not now that Bella was no longer Tim’s wife. Not now that she was available.
Mac swallowed his groan. Maybe he did want to help Bella but it could turn out that he was creating a lot of problems for himself by doing so.
Bella had no idea what was going on but the tension in the car was making her feel sick. She licked her parched lips, trying to think of something to say, but what exactly? If she ordered Mac to get out of the car, would he do so? Or would he ignore her and stay where he was? It was the not knowing that was the scariest thing of all because it denoted a massive shift in his attitude.
Mac’s behaviour towards her had always been impeccable in the past. He had treated her with an old-fashioned courtesy that she had found strangely endearing. Few men in the circles she had frequented had been so polite. The old ‘Hooray Henry’ syndrome had been very much alive, so that Mac’s thoughtfulness and maturity had set him apart. That was why she had enjoyed spending time with him, she realised in surprise. He hadn’t needed to shout or tell risqué stories to make himself stand out. Whenever Mac was around, people always knew he was there.
The thought stunned her. She had never realised before just how much Mac had impressed her. He had been an unknown quantity in so many ways, his background so different from hers that she had been afraid of saying something stupid that would betray her ignorance. Now, after working in the NHS for the past ten years, she had a much better idea of the world. She had treated many people from backgrounds similar to Mac’s and understood the hardships they faced. That Mac must have had to overcome all sorts of obstacles to qualify as a doctor merely highlighted his strength of character, his determination, his commitment. Few men could have taken on such a challenge and won.
Bella’s head whirled as thoughts that she had never entertained before rushed through it. Added to the strain she’d been under since the breakdown of her marriage, it made her feel very shaky. Leaning forward, she rested her throbbing forehead on the steering wheel.
‘Are you all right? Bella, what’s wrong? Answer me!’
The concern in Mac’s voice brought a rush of tears to her eyes. Although her parents had expressed polite sympathy when she had told them about the divorce, they hadn’t really cared about the effect it had had on her. They were too wrapped up in their own lives to put her first. As Mac had just done.
‘It’s just all too much,’ she whispered, unable to lie.
‘No wonder!’ Anger laced his deep voice as he got out of the car. He strode round to her side and flung open the door. ‘When I think what you must have been through recently—’ He broke off as he lifted her out of the car. Bella got the impression that he didn’t trust himself to say anything more as he carried her round to the passenger’s side. He gently deposited her on the seat and snapped the seat belt into place then looked at her. ‘Right, where to? You can go straight home or you can come back to my place. You decide.’
Bella bit her lip as she weighed up her choices, even though by rights she knew that she should tell him to take her home. She didn’t want to talk to him, especially not tonight when she felt so raw, so emotional, so very vulnerable.
‘Come on, Bella. Just choose where you want to go and I’ll take you there.’ His tone was so gentle, so persuasive, and Bella wanted to be persuaded so much …
‘Yours.’
Mac nodded as he closed the door. Walking round to the driver’s side, he got in and backed out of the parking space. He didn’t say a word as he drove out of the hospital gates. Bella had no idea where he lived and quite frankly didn’t care. Wherever it was, it had to be better than the soulless apartment she was renting. They drove for about fifteen minutes, the roads becoming increasingly narrow as they headed away from the town centre. Bella had done very little exploring since she had moved to Dalverston and had no idea where they were going until she saw the pale glint of water in the distance and realised they were heading towards the river. Mac slowed and turned down a narrow lane, drawing up on the grass verge.
‘We have to walk from here,’ he told her. ‘It’s not far, just five minutes or so, but we can’t take the car any further.’
Bella nodded as she unfastened her seat belt. She slid to the ground, breathing in the musky scent of damp vegetation. She could hear the river now, the softly sibilant whisper of the water providing a backdrop to the sound of the birds performing their evening chorus. It was so peaceful that she sighed.
‘It’s wonderful not to hear any traffic.’
‘One of the big advantages of living out in the sticks,’ Mac replied with a smile that made her breath catch.
He turned and led the way along the path, leaving her to follow, which she did once she had got her breath back. It was the way he had smiled at her that had done the damage—smiled at her the way Mac had used to do. Did it mean that he had forgiven her for her apparent misdemeanours? She doubted it, yet all of a sudden she felt better than she had done in ages. The world didn’t seem quite so grim now that Mac had smiled at her. How crazy was that?
Mac paused when they reached the riverbank. It was almost nine p.m. and the light was fading fast. In another month, there would still be enough daylight to light their way along the towpath but he was afraid that Bella would trip up in the dark. Holding out his hand, he smiled at her, determined to keep a rein on his emotions this time. He was offering to hold her hand for safety’s sake and not for his own nefarious reasons!
‘You’d better hold on to me. The path’s a bit slippery after all the rain we’ve had recently. I don’t want you ending up taking a dip.’
There was a moment when he sensed her hesitate before she slipped her hand into his. Mac sucked in his breath when he felt his libido immediately stir to life. OK, so, admittedly, he hadn’t made love to a woman in a very long time, but that had been his choice, hadn’t it? He had grown tired of dating for dating’s sake, had become weary of sex that hadn’t really meant anything. It had seemed better to step out of the game rather than continue the way he had been doing. However, it was completely out of order for him to start lusting after Bella. She’d been through enough without him making her life even more complicated.
Mac gave himself a stern talking-to as he led her along the towpath and, thankfully, it seemed to work. There were several boats tied up along the riverbank and he guided her around their mooring lines. They came to the last boat in the row and he stopped, suddenly feeling on edge as he wondered what she would make of his home. Although he loved the old boat—loved everything about it, from the tranquillity of its mooring to the fact that it was the first home he had owned—Bella had been brought up to expect so much more. He couldn’t help feeling a little bit … well, nervous about what she would make of it.
‘This is it,’ he announced, wincing when he heard the false note of bonhomie in his voice. It wasn’t like him to put up a front and he hated the fact that he’d felt it necessary. If Bella didn’t like his home—so what? It wouldn’t make a scrap of difference to him … Would it?
‘You live on a boat!’
The surprise in her voice made his teeth snap together as he forced down the urge to start apologising.
‘Yep. I bought it when I moved here. I couldn’t afford a house so I opted for this instead. It’s the perfect base when I’m in the UK. Come on. I’ll show you round.’
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