Newborn Daddy
Judy Christenberry
Ryan Nix knew all too well the joy of parenthood–and the pain of loss. So he vowed never to let himself feel anything again. Until he looked through a nursery window to find his name listed as the father of Emma Davenport's newborn baby girl! What was he going to do now?Sweet, lovely Emma knew what a risk she was taking when she fell fast and hard for a man who refused to open his heart. But her beautiful baby girl was proof that Ryan had let his guard down once. Maybe it was time for second chances….
Ryan watched Emma nestle the baby against her, her love obvious to all of them.
Emma was going to be a wonderful mother.
The baby suddenly opened her eyes, and Ryan would swear she was staring at him. It was the first time she’d been awake in his presence. It was all he could do to hold back an exclamation. The nurse pushed Emma and the baby to the car as he followed.
Almost like a family.
He gently placed the baby in the seat and belted her in. Without saying anything, he lifted Emma as easily as he had the baby and settled her in the front seat. Her gasp told him he’d surprised her.
“You did that well for a new daddy,” the nurse said cheerfully.
But he heard Emma gasp. She knew he’d once had a child….
Dear Reader,
The year is off to a wonderful start in Silhouette Romance, and we’ve got some of our best stories yet for you right here.
Our tremendously successful ROYALLY WED series continues with The Blacksheep Prince’s Bride by Martha Shields. Our intrepid heroine—a lady-in-waiting for Princess Isabel—will do anything to help rescue the king. Even marry the single dad turned prince! And Judy Christenberry returns to Romance with Newborn Daddy. Poor Ryan didn’t know what he was missing, until he looked through the nursery window….
Also this month, Teresa Southwick concludes her much-loved series about the Marchetti family in The Last Marchetti Bachelor. And popular author Elizabeth August gives us Slade’s Secret Son. Lisa hadn’t planned to tell Slade about their child. But with her life in danger, there’s only one man to turn to….
Carla Cassidy’s tale of love and adventure is Lost in His Arms, while new-to-the-Romance-line Vivienne Wallington proves she’s anything but a beginning writer in this powerful story of a man Claiming His Bride.
Be sure to come back next month for Valerie Parv’s ROYALLY WED title as well as new stories by Sandra Steffen and Myrna Mackenzie. And Patricia Thayer will begin a brand-new series, THE TEXAS BROTHERHOOD.
Happy reading!
Mary-Theresa Hussey
Senior Editor
Newborn Daddy
Judy Christenberry
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Books by Judy Christenberry
Silhouette Romance
The Nine-Month Bride #1324
* (#litres_trial_promo)Marry Me, Kate #1344
* (#litres_trial_promo)Baby in Her Arms #1350
* (#litres_trial_promo)A Ring for Cinderella #1356
† (#litres_trial_promo)Never Let You Go #1453
† (#litres_trial_promo)The Borrowed Groom #1457
† (#litres_trial_promo)Cherish the Boss #1463
† (#litres_trial_promo)Snowbound Sweetheart #1476
Newborn Daddy #1511
JUDY CHRISTENBERRY
has been writing romances for over fifteen years because she loves happy endings as much as her readers do. She’s a bestselling writer for Harlequin American Romance, but she has a long love of traditional romances and is delighted to tell a story that brings those elements to the reader. A former high school French teacher, Judy now devotes her time to writing. She hopes readers have as much fun reading her stories as she does writing them. She spends her spare time reading, watching her favorite sports teams and keeping track of her two adult daughters.
Contents
Chapter One (#uc29d035b-a7ea-543e-88a9-549f5235f741)
Chapter Two (#ueb0a069d-e59a-587a-bfee-9e9427ec2186)
Chapter Three (#u8d4825b2-c7f4-5183-94c5-48a548a3392b)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One
Ryan Nix stared at the newborn babies in the local hospital. He wouldn’t be here if his sister, Beth, hadn’t just given birth. Normally he avoided babies since his own child, Ryan, Jr., as well as his wife, Merilee, had died three years ago.
But he had to admit, his nephew was a fine-looking boy.
A nurse entered the nursery carrying a pink bundle. A girl. He was about to turn back to his nephew when the nurse put the baby girl in the bed next to Beth’s baby. Then she slid the birth card into place. As she moved away, after smiling at him, he let his gaze drift to the birth card, not really reading it until he saw familiar words.
His name. Listed as the father.
Ryan got a sick feeling in his stomach. His gaze immediately shifted to the corresponding blank. Mother: Emma Davenport.
He slapped his hands on the glass wall for support and stared at the card, sure he’d misread it. What it said couldn’t be true. There had to be another Ryan Nix.
Another Ryan Nix who’d had an affair with another Emma Davenport that had ended seven months ago.
Yeah, right.
Damn her, he’d told her he’d never have another child, never marry again. Hadn’t she listened? In fact, he’d been downright rude, his anger raw and painful. She’d thought she could replace Merilee? Give him a child as perfect as Ryan Junior? Replace his lost family?
He’d sent her away, ended their affair, had nothing to do with her since.
Without thinking, he hurried back to the nurses’ desk. “What room is Emma Davenport in?” he demanded.
“Two-twelve, sir,” the nurse said. She appeared ready to add something else, but Ryan didn’t wait. Her room was on the opposite side of the small hospital from Beth’s.
His cowboy boots weren’t quiet as he raced down the hall, but he was beyond consideration for anyone. He felt betrayed, and he was going to let the betrayer know about it.
He entered the room, his roar already in full force. “Emma Davenport!”
A pale face, smaller than he remembered, lay on the pillow. Alarm registered in her eyes by the time he paused.
“How dare you?” he ripped. “I told you I never wanted children! Did you think I was lying? Did you think you’d force me into marriage this way?”
He frowned when she didn’t say a word. In fact, she’d closed her eyes.
“Emma! Did you hear me?”
The door opened. “I suspect everyone heard you, Mr. Nix,” an older nurse, one who’d been a friend of his mother’s, said. “Would you please step outside?”
“No! I want some answers!” he insisted, glaring at Emma. Then he frowned. If anything, Emma’s pale face had whitened even more. Before he could express concern, however, the nurse had taken him by the arm.
“I think you’d better leave. Our patient needs her rest.”
“Emma!” Ryan demanded.
“Please go.” Her voice was barely a whisper, not the low, musical tones that had first attracted him.
Before he could protest or question Emma again, the nurse dragged him out into the hallway.
“Ryan, whatever issues you have with Miss Davenport, save them. She’s having a difficult time and needs all her energy to get better.”
“What do you mean?” Ryan asked, staring at the nurse. He remembered how pale Emma was. How she didn’t respond. How her voice sounded sad and lifeless. “What’s wrong with her?”
“Men!” the nurse exclaimed. “She just had a baby! Now, stay out of that room, or I’ll call the doctor.”
Ryan stumbled down the hallway, confused, still angry but worried. He walked by the nursery again, on the way to Beth’s room, and he stopped to look at the child that was purportedly claimed to be his.
How could that tiny form be partly his? Even when Ryan, Jr. was small, he hadn’t been that small. Or that delicate. Beautiful. Like Emma.
He cringed. He’d hidden from his behavior seven months ago when—seven months. Horrified, he took a deep breath and leaned against the wall. She’d been pregnant when she’d suggested—when she’d asked about moving in, about making a family. She’d already been pregnant.
And he’d yelled at her. Sent her away.
His mama had raised him to be a gentleman. But he hadn’t been that day. He’d enjoyed Emma’s body. He’d even admit to enjoying Emma. She was different from Merilee. His wife had been vibrant, alive, always the center of everything.
Emma was quiet, even shy at times. He’d sensed in her the same kind of wrenching loneliness he felt. He’d thought she’d understand why he wanted nothing personal, nothing permanent. But he hadn’t told her. He hadn’t been honest…but then she hadn’t asked.
When he’d savaged her after her hesitant suggestion, it had never occurred to him that she might already be pregnant. He was ashamed of what he’d done. Had even considered apologizing, but he hadn’t wanted her to hope he’d change his mind. Better for her to put him behind her and move on.
But she couldn’t.
Because she was already pregnant.
“Damn!” he muttered.
“Ryan? That you? Are you admiring my son? Isn’t he—?” His brother-in-law, Jack Kirby, broke off. “Shoot, I’m sorry, Ryan. I was so excited I forgot—I mean, uh, are you coming in to see Beth?”
“Yeah,” Ryan agreed, his throat raw, his voice heavy. “That’s what I was coming to do.” He hurried toward Jack.
Jack led the way into Beth’s room. His sister was smiling, and Jack immediately hurried to her side, hugging and kissing her before he pointed out Ryan’s presence. “Hey, honey, look who’s here?”
“Oh, Ryan, I’m so glad you came. Did you see him? Isn’t he beautiful?” Beth asked, her face lit with happiness.
All Ryan could see was Emma’s pale face, the sadness in her eyes. He looked around Beth’s room. The rooms were identical, but Beth’s was already filled with flowers…and a loving husband.
Emma had nothing.
Acid ate at his stomach. Guilt filled him. Emma had been alone for the past seven months. He knew because Beth had gone to see her after she and Ryan had split up. Beth had wanted to tell her they could still be friends, because she’d liked Emma. But Emma had refused, telling Beth it would be too painful.
He had occasionally asked Beth, or other women in town, about Emma, in a casual way. But she was like a shadow, barely appearing, slipping away, always bundled up.
Hiding her pregnancy.
“Ryan? Is it too hard for you? You can go home if it is. I appreciate you making the effort, but I’ll understand.” Beth offered him a gentle smile, putting aside her own happiness with concern for him.
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “No, honey, I’m okay. You have a fine son. You have a right to be proud.”
Both new parents beamed at him.
“Have you called Mom and Dad yet?” he asked.
“Oh, yes, I just talked to them. They’re packing now. Dad even offered to fly Mom in, but she insisted she had to drive with him to make sure he didn’t get lost,” Beth said with a giggle. Their parents had retired to Florida shortly after Beth’s wedding two years ago.
“When will you go home?” He figured since both babies were born the same day, Emma would go home then, too.
“Either tomorrow or Thursday. The doctor said it depends on how we’re doing. Ryan, you didn’t mind that I—we named him after you, did you?” Beth’s pretty face crinked with a frown, watching him.
He worked hard to look pleased. “No, honey, I was proud. Ryan Jackson is a fine name. Of course, old Jackson here probably wanted his name first, but I’m better than him, so…” As he’d expected, Jack protested, taking his sister’s attention away from him.
When they relaxed again, he said, “Uh, listen, I’ve got to go. Do you mind? Is there anything you need?”
“Oh, no, Jack is taking such good care of me.”
And Emma had no one.
She’d come to town almost a year ago, to be the new librarian. Because she was shy, it had taken her a little while to make friends, but everyone liked her. Ryan had discovered her by accident, while doing the shopping for Billy, his housekeeper, after he’d sprained his ankle.
The instant attraction surprised Ryan, even repulsed him, but Emma wasn’t a lady who expected attention. She offered her help when the food he’d piled up began to slip. Then she’d continued, pushing her almost-empty buggy away.
After having everyone trying to push him into some woman’s arms, any woman’s arms, Emma’s disinterest was…enticing. He found himself asking about her. Then he’d actually gone into the new library for the first-time on some ridiculous excuse.
Again she’d helped him, suggesting a book for Billy to read, when Ryan knew Billy would think he’d lost his mind. And then she’d walked away.
No interest at all.
No flirting, no pushiness, no war paint or suggestive clothes.
He’d stepped up to the counter to check the book out, and on impulse, he’d asked her to eat with him before he went home. He’d told her he hated to eat alone.
He’d struck a chord. She agreed eating alone was difficult and joined him. Her eyes, hazel, fringed with dark lashes, had brightened, her soft lips had stretched into a smile, and he’d wondered if she’d fooled him. She looked too good to be alone.
Had it been a carefully set trap?
But, over dinner, he’d realized her loneliness wasn’t a trick. She never acted like he wanted anything but a dining companion.
And that’s all he was, he’d assured himself. Just because he wanted to slide his fingers through her silky, dark hair. And touch her soft skin. No, all he wanted was a dining companion. Dropping by the library just at closing had become a habit, though. Dinner with Emma had become something he looked forward to. Then he’d gone home with her.
To talk.
And had spent the night.
He hadn’t gone back to the library for three weeks. He’d felt too guilty to show his face. She wasn’t a virgin, thank God. He felt enough guilt without that. But she hadn’t been experienced, either.
And when he went back to the library, she’d never said a word about his absence.
Just as she hadn’t said a word about the baby.
“Ryan? Are you all right?” Beth asked, bringing him back to the present.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll go now. I have someone else to visit.”
“Who?” Jack asked, a frown on his face. “I hadn’t heard of any friends—”
“No one you know!” Ryan exclaimed, backing to the door. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he wasn’t ready to tell his family what had happened. He waved and hurried out of the room.
Emma felt the tears seeping from her closed eyes, getting sopped up by her hair. She didn’t know why she was crying. It must be because she was so weak. And frightened about the future.
“You knew he would be upset,” she muttered to herself. Especially to find out from someone else. Maybe one of the nurses had told him. After all, she’d put his name on the birth certificate.
That had been a mistake.
But she’d intended to tell him about the baby. Only she’d been so tired, so sick, she hadn’t had the strength to deal with him.
And she’d been desperately afraid he’d insist on an abortion.
There was no way she’d agree to such a thing. She’d been left on a doorstep when she’d been born. At first, she’d been sick, so no one had wanted to adopt her. The years slipped away, and she moved from one foster home to another. She got healthier, but she’d never been the “cute” baby anyone wanted.
She’d vowed that her baby, if she ever had one, would be loved, wanted. And that was a vow she’d keep, no matter what. She had to be back at work next Monday, but she’d prepared a little space for her baby behind the counter. She’d take Andrea with her.
So far, however, she couldn’t even get out of bed without assistance. She hoped and prayed she got better fast. Because she couldn’t afford too much time in the hospital. And she couldn’t stay in bed at home. It was going to take her forever to pay the hospital bill as it was.
Her door opened again, and the man she loved, the man who hated her, came back into the room. At least he wasn’t yelling this time. But she reached for the call button anyway. She was too weak to deal with him now.
“Emma, are you all right?”
His softly worded question took her by surprise. But she knew better than to read anything into it. The nurse had probably warned him not to be so noisy.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry someone told you—”
“They didn’t. I was looking at—at the babies when they brought yours in. With the card listing me as the father.”
Yours. He couldn’t have chosen a better way to make it clear he had no interest in the baby. “I’m sorry,” she whispered and looked toward the small window.
The door opened again. “Ryan Nix, I told you not to come in here again.” Margie Long, the nurse who’d thrown him out last time, glared at him.
“Come on, Mrs. Long, I’m being civilized. I just wanted to ask a few questions,” he protested, glaring at Emma because he’d probably figured she’d summoned the nurse.
“Emma, dear, do you want visitors?”
Emma kept staring toward the window, knowing if she looked at Ryan, she wouldn’t be able to send him away. “No, I’m tired.”
“Emma!” Ryan protested, but she continued to stare at that tiny window, using it as a lifeline to get her through his visit.
“Sorry, Ryan, but new mothers are the bosses around here. Out you go.” She took him by the arm and tugged him out.
Emma didn’t move until she heard the door close. Then she stared where Ryan had been, wishing she’d had the strength to stare at him. To memorize those features, to remember his gentle touch. His loving.
She’d believed his touch had been loving. Instead, it had just been sexy. She didn’t know a lot about men, hadn’t believed they could make love and feel nothing.
Now she knew. Ryan had made it very clear.
So it was just her and baby Andrea. She’d prepared in every way she could so they wouldn’t need help. But she hadn’t planned on being so weak. Still, they’d make it, the two of them.
She was determined.
“Didn’t you read that birth card?” Ryan demanded, angry again. “She says I’m the father. Doesn’t that give me some rights?”
“Sure does, if you’re also the husband. Otherwise, nope. Have you told your mother?” she asked, a scolding tone in her voice that irritated him even more. He didn’t need her to tell him his mother would be upset with him.
“No. Damn it, I just found out a few minutes ago!”
“Oh.” The woman pressed her lips together. “We were all a little surprised ourselves.”
He thought about all the trips to the doctor Beth had had. “Didn’t she have prenatal care?” his voice rising in concern and anger.
“She said she did, in Buffalo.” There was doubt in Mrs. Long’s voice. Buffalo, Wyoming, wasn’t large, but it did have a bigger hospital than Franklin, their town.
“Buffalo? Why there?”
“I guess she didn’t want anyone here to know. There were a few whispers, but she wasn’t dating anyone, so we all thought she’d just gained weight. She wore loose clothing.” After another pause, she added, “You two broke up a long time ago, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe she started seeing someone else, but she put your name on the certificate.”
Fierce protectiveness wouldn’t allow him to let even the whisper of such a tale get started. “No! No, the baby’s mine.”
“Okay.”
“What’s wrong with her? I know you said it’s because she just gave birth, but I saw Beth, and she’s doing fine.”
“Miss Davenport had complications.”
“Is the baby okay? She seems small.”
“Oh, she’s a fine little darling, as sweet as can be,” Mrs. Long said, a grandmotherly smile on her face.
“Then why is Emma so pale?”
They’d reached the nurse’s desk. “She’s normally pale, I believe,” Mrs. Long said.
“Don’t give me that,” Ryan snarled. “I want to know what’s wrong.”
“You’re not her husband, Ryan. You don’t have the right to know her health status.”
“Is Steve her doctor? Did he deliver the baby?” he asked, naming an old friend, the man who’d delivered his son, the man who’d tried to save both Merilee and his child after the accident.
The elevator opened and another nurse arrived at the desk. “Sorry I’m late, Margie. Hi, Ryan. You here to see Beth’s baby? I heard she delivered today.”
“Yeah, Susan. I’ve seen him. He’s a fine boy.”
She reached over and patted his arm. “Good for you. I knew you’d come through, even if it is tough.”
He and Susan had gone to school together. If Margie Long was going off duty, he knew he’d have a better chance getting information from Susan. Maybe he could even visit Emma again.
“Don’t let this young man near room 212. She doesn’t want any visitors,” Margie said, as she bent down to get her purse. “Besides, she’s not well enough for them.”
Then she nodded to Ryan and left.
“Who’s in 212?” Susan asked.
Ryan answered, since Margie had left. “Emma Davenport.”
“Are you and Emma together again, after all this time? I thought—”
“No. But she had my baby today and Mrs. Long wouldn’t tell me anything.”
Susan was stunned by his blunt statement. “Your baby?” she asked, her voice rising.
“Yes. And I want to see Emma.”
“I can’t let you in that room. Not after Margie said not to. I’d get fired.” Susan looked over her shoulder, as if she feared Margie might be hiding around the corner.
Ryan sighed in frustration. “Okay, can you tell me why she looks like death warmed over?”
Susan pulled out the chart and scanned it quickly. “I’m not supposed to, but I could, uh, generally tell you a few things.”
Chapter Two
There hadn’t been much in Emma’s file because she hadn’t had any prenatal care records there. Steve had written a note that he’d requested information from the Buffalo facility.
Emma had reported to the nurses that she’d had gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. Plus, she’d bled too much during delivery and had had to receive a blood transfusion, which had further weakened her.
Susan couldn’t tell him anything else.
Since she again refused his request to see Emma a third time, he gave up and left the hospital—after one more peep at the tiny baby wrapped in pink.
Ryan stood on the hospital steps, staring at the town he’d lived near all his life. But suddenly, everything had changed. What was he going to do?
He couldn’t accept what had happened. He couldn’t pretend to be a happy new father…or an anxious husband. He doubted he would survive risking his heart again. Laced with his mourning for his wife and child had been utter guilt. Though he hadn’t committed a traffic violation, he’d walked away from the accident that killed them.
Many nights he’d crawled into bed wishing he wouldn’t wake up the next morning. That first night he’d slept with Emma had been the only time he’d arisen with satisfaction in his heart, contentment. Then the guilt had tripled. How could he enjoy life again when Merilee and Ryan, Jr. were lost to the world? Creature comforts shouldn’t be a part of his life. He’d chastised himself for three weeks.
Then he’d gone back to the library, unable to stay away, telling himself he and Emma would return to their old relationship, having dinner together. If, that is, she’d even speak to him.
She’d welcomed him as a friend. No questions, no complaints, no expectations. He was amazed. When he’d kissed her again, she’d opened to him. He hadn’t been able to resist.
For two months they’d made love on a regular basis. Each time he’d provided protection, having no intention of creating a child. No intention of a future. He’d condemned himself each time he thought about his behavior. So, he tried not to think, burying his conscience beneath the surface.
Until Emma had talked of a future, a family. Like a sore that had been festering beneath the skin, his conscience had erupted like a volcano, hurting Emma.
She’d already been pregnant.
That thought tore at him each time it came.
So, he still couldn’t contemplate a future. But he could provide for Emma and the baby. He spun on his heels and reentered the hospital, heading straight for the business office.
“Oh, hi, Ryan, can I help you?” a friend of Merilee’s asked. Damn, that was the problem with small towns. You couldn’t swing a cat without hitting someone you knew.
“Yeah. I need to settle Emma Davenport’s bill.”
The woman stared at him. “Why?” His face must’ve reflected his feelings about being questioned. She hurriedly added, “We don’t reveal financial information about patients unless it’s family or they’ve okayed it.”
“I’m the father of her child. I provide for—I’m paying the bill.”
“Oh!” the woman exclaimed and got busy pulling Emma’s record. She gave him the total amount due so far and offered a payment plan.
Ryan pulled out a checkbook. “No. I’ll settle with you now. If there are other charges, please send them to me. You have my address, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course.”
He pressed his lips tightly together before adding, “Anything she wants, make sure she gets it.”
She nodded, still staring at him.
He didn’t wait around to see if she had more questions. Instead, he hurried to his truck. After driving the short distance to Dr. Steve Lambert’s office, he strode in and asked to see the doctor.
“Mercy, Ryan, you sick?” the receptionist asked.
“No, Mrs. McCallister. I want to ask him some questions. Oh, and I need to pay Emma Davenport’s bill.”
He got the same reaction from her as he’d had at the hospital. He knew the town would be rocking with gossip about him by evening.
“Uh, Miss Davenport worked out a payment plan,” Mrs. McCallister said. “She’s already made one payment since she arranged for the doctor to make the delivery.”
“When did she make the arrangements? I understood she was seeing a doctor in Buffalo.”
“She came in two weeks ago.”
Her response made Ryan even more anxious to talk to the doctor. “Give me the total she owes,” he ordered tersely, “plus the cost for today.” He already had his checkbook in hand.
When he’d taken care of that, he sat down in a chair in the waiting room, moodily watching the other patients. Several women were there with small children, and it didn’t take much of an effort to see Emma visiting the office in the future.
Emma and the baby. He didn’t even know the child’s name. But he felt sure Emma had picked one out. She seemed to have prepared for the baby’s arrival in every other way.
A few moments later, the receptionist called his name. “The doctor will see you now.”
Ryan was led into his friend’s office.
Steve stood as he entered and offered his hand. “Hey, pal. Long time no see. What’s up?”
“I want to talk to you about Emma Davenport.”
Steve’s head snapped up and he stared at Ryan. “Why?”
“Because that’s my child you delivered earlier today.”
Steve’s expression didn’t change. “I wondered.”
“I didn’t know until I got to the hospital to see Beth. They brought the baby in with its birth-record card while I was looking at Beth’s little boy.” Ryan wanted Steve to understand that he wouldn’t have abandoned Emma as he had if he’d known.
“Sorry you found out that way. When she first came in, two weeks ago, I asked about the father, but she refused to say anything.”
Ryan wasn’t surprised. In fact, the surprising thing was that she’d put his name on the certificate. But he suddenly remembered her talking about being a throwaway baby, a child no one had wanted. No birth certificate, no parents. He realized Emma wouldn’t do that to her child, even if it would’ve been easier for her.
“Why didn’t she come to you earlier?”
Steve shrugged. “I suppose to hide her pregnancy.”
“Did she really do prenatal care in Buffalo?”
Steve didn’t move, didn’t reach for a file. “You know I’m legally not supposed to tell you about her medical history, don’t you, Ryan?”
“Damn it, I’m the one responsible for her being in the hospital, Steve! I have a right to know.”
“The last I heard, it takes two people to create a baby.”
Ryan leaped to his feet and strode across the small office and back again. “Just tell me what I need to do. Her face has no color at all, and she looks so sad. Are they both all right?”
“The baby is fine.”
Ryan’s heart twisted in pain. “And Emma?”
With a sigh, Steve reached for a file on his desk. “I just got the information faxed from Buffalo. She had gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. The labor was long and hard. Too much bleeding,” he added, a frown on his face. “We had to give her a transfusion.”
“But she’ll be all right?”
Steve continued looking at the chart. Then he looked at Ryan. “They told her to quit work at six months. She was working until an hour before she delivered.”
“Why? Why would she do that? Didn’t she care about her baby?” Ryan knew that didn’t make sense. Emma wasn’t like that.
“I would guess she worked because she needed her job to support herself and the baby.”
“I would’ve—!” Ryan protested. But he broke off. She hadn’t even told him about the baby, much less asked for his help. And he couldn’t blame her. His behavior seven months ago hadn’t offered friendship, let alone marriage. “But you said she’ll be all right?”
“If she gives herself time to recuperate. She’ll probably need some help the first week or two at least. I’d like her to not go back to work for six weeks. But I suspect she’ll refuse my advice.”
“You haven’t told her yet?”
“I haven’t talked to her since the delivery. I’ll check in with her before I go home this evening.”
It was already half past four. Ryan knew Steve was a dedicated doctor, beloved by everyone in town for his selfless efforts on their behalf.
“I’ll hire someone to take care of her,” he said. “She won’t be left alone.”
“Good.”
He stood. “She’ll be released from the hospital in a couple of days?”
“I’ll try to keep her there that long. She told me two weeks ago she wouldn’t be staying more than one night.”
“But she didn’t know then how hard a time she’d have, right?” Ryan, after having seen Emma, wasn’t sure she would even be able to walk in a week’s time, much less care for a newborn.
Steve’s closed expression, as if he didn’t want to discuss anything else, was his only answer. “Look, let me know when she’s getting out and I’ll be there to get her settled in.”
“Ryan, someone checking on her every day won’t be enough. She’s weak and determined to nurse her child. If she accomplishes that, it will be a miracle. Forget cleaning, cooking, bathing the baby. And she’ll need more. She’ll need companionship. I’m seriously worried about her because she seems so alone…so sad.”
Guilt again built in Ryan’s chest. Okay, so he’d paid a few bills. He had the money. It wasn’t much of a sacrifice. But Emma’s sad eyes popped into his head, alongside Beth’s look of joy.
Ryan paced the doctor’s office again, facing a difficult decision. The guilt won out.
“Okay, I’ll take her back to the ranch with me. Billy can do the cooking and cleaning. And I’ll hire one of the cowboys’ wives to stay with her every day until she’s better. Will that do?”
The doctor’s compassionate gaze settled on Ryan’s face. “If that’s the best you can do, I guess so. It’s better than her being on her own.”
Ryan didn’t put much effort into his goodbyes. He wanted away from that look. Away from what he was facing. And he had a lot to do.
Once he reached his truck, he took out his cell phone and called the ranch.
“Billy, drop everything and get ready for two guests.”
“Hi, boss. Your mom and dad coming to see the new grandbaby?”
“Yeah, but they’re staying at Beth’s. Uh, Emma Davenport and her baby are going to recuperate at the ranch.”
Silence followed his announcement. Then Billy said, “Okay. How old is the baby?”
Emma had visited the ranch a few times and had quickly become a favorite with Billy. Her quiet appreciation for his efforts, plus her offers to help, had pleased him.
“Her baby was born today. Give Emma the downstairs bedroom and clean out the little room across the hall. I’ll bring home some baby stuff to go in there. Get help if you need it.”
Ryan didn’t give himself time to think. He hurried to the one department store in town to get whatever he’d need to accommodate the baby. Later, if Emma didn’t want any of it, he could give it to Beth, or keep it for when she, Jack and his namesake visited.
The saleswoman, another hometown friend, eagerly sold him everything ever known to mankind made for a baby. Memory of Emma’s sad eyes had him buying the most gaily-colored items offered. He helped load everything in the back of his truck, ready to head for home.
His stomach growled and he considered stopping for a bite to eat, but that made his thoughts immediately fly to Emma and their dinners. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. In fact, he’d refused to come into town in the afternoons for the past few months.
He slammed into the cab of his truck and drove faster than he should have to reach the safety of the ranch. Soon even the ranch wouldn’t be safe.
Emma and the baby would be there.
Emma was encouraged by the slight increase of strength she felt the next morning. She almost had to crawl to the bathroom in her room, but she made it without calling for help.
The nurse came in just as she left the bathroom and helped her back to bed. Emma couldn’t refuse since she was trembling all over.
“You should’ve called for help,” the nurse chided. “Doctor said you weren’t to get out of bed.”
“I have to get stronger so I can go home today,” Emma said, trying to smile at the woman.
“Lawsy-mercy, after the time you had? Doctor won’t even think of letting you leave today. You could stay in bed for a week and it would still be too early.”
Panic built in Emma, but she tried to hide it. “I don’t need that long. Besides, I can’t afford it, you know. Babies are expensive.”
The nurse gave her a kindly smile. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. Ryan took care of everything.”
Thank goodness she was already in the bed, or she would’ve collapsed on the floor. “What did you say?” she demanded, but her voice was faint.
“Uh, I shouldn’t have—I thought it would reassure you. I’m sorry.” The nurse began backing toward the door. “I’ll bring your breakfast.”
As soon as she was alone, Emma reached for the phone beside her bed. When the billing office answered, she demanded to know her balance.
“Your balance is zero, Miss Davenport,” the woman said cheerfully.
“How can that be? I haven’t paid anything.”
“Oh, your baby’s father paid everything. We’re supposed to bill him if there are any other charges. So, you have nothing to worry about.”
Emma hung up the phone without answering. Nothing to worry about. She had put Ryan’s name on the birth certificate because she knew how much that meant to a child later in life. She hadn’t known either her father or her mother’s name. Her child would know.
But she hadn’t done it so Ryan would feel forced to pay for the baby…and her. She’d always known he was a good man. And she’d found out about his wife and son afterwards. As much as his words had hurt her, stunned her, she’d understood.
She should’ve carried out her plan to have the baby in Buffalo, but it was an hour’s drive away, and she’d got frightened that she wouldn’t be able to make the drive by herself.
Seven months ago, she’d even considered giving up the job she loved and moving away then, while she could still have managed. But she hadn’t, because she’d harbored a foolish hope that Ryan would change his mind. That he’d walk back through the doors of the library and ask her out to dinner again.
Foolish, foolish Emma.
With tears in her eyes, she pushed up from the pillow and surveyed her room. Her suitcase was on the floor by the window, still packed, though standing open. Last night the nurse had helped her don her own nightgown. While not fancy, at least it didn’t have gaps down the back, like the hospital gown she had worn.
So, all she’d have to do was make her way to the chair beside her suitcase, get dressed, toss in her nightgown, and leave. Stopping to collect Andrea on the way, of course.
The thought of walking to her car alone was enough to exhaust her. Carrying a suitcase and her baby seemed an impossibility. But she didn’t want Ryan paying any more.
He didn’t want them, either of them.
As she was contemplating what she had to do, the door opened and the nurse entered with a breakfast tray. She raised the head of the bed, then put the tray on the bed table and slid it in front of Emma.
“You’ll feel stronger once you eat your breakfast,” she advised cheerfully. “And Doctor will be in soon to visit with you. He came last night, but you were already asleep and he didn’t want to wake you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she whispered. She barely remembered him from the delivery, but she’d liked him when she’d visited him two weeks ago to ask him to deliver her baby.
“No problem. He thought you getting some rest was more important than him poking around on you. Actually, you’re doing much better than any of us expected. You were in labor a long time. Why, Beth Kirby came in after you and delivered a couple of hours before you did.”
“Beth’s here? She had her baby?” Emma asked, joy on her face. She’d loved Beth almost as much as Ryan, feeling she’d finally found a sister. “Are she and the baby all right? What did she have?”
“Mercy, if I’d known that information would’ve cheered you up, I’d have told you at once,” the nurse said.
Emma blushed, embarrassed by letting her emotions show. She hoped the nurse didn’t tell Beth she’d been so eager for news. It would shock Ryan’s sister after Emma had rejected her offer of continuing friendship.
“I—I know her.”
“Well, of course you do. She’s your baby’s aunt. She had a little boy, and both are doing just fine. You’ve never seen a prouder daddy than Jack Kirby. He hasn’t left the hospital since they came in except to buy the biggest bouquet of roses in town. These daddies, you know how they…” She broke off abruptly, a stricken look on her face.
Emma knew what had caused her to grow silent. There were no flowers in her room. More importantly, there was no proud father watching his daughter through the nursery window, hovering over the mother’s bed.
“I’m so sorry, I—”
“Don’t worry about it, please. When will you bring my baby to me?”
“After you see the doctor.”
Emma nodded, but she was anxious to hold her baby again. “Then I’d better get started on my breakfast.”
The nurse, still embarrassed, tried to respond in a normal voice. As soon as she made sure Emma had everything she needed, she hurried from the room.
Ryan stood at the nursery window, staring at the pink bundle. The baby hadn’t moved or shown any sign of life since he’d arrived. When a nurse entered the nursery, he rapped on the window and pointed to the baby girl.
The nurse smiled and moved the baby to the front row of the window. Wouldn’t she have noticed if something was wrong? Ryan wanted to be reassured that the baby was breathing.
Just as he decided to knock on the window again, one little baby fist, clenched, moved to the rosebud mouth and the baby made some sucking motions.
Maybe she was kin to him. Dinnertime had always been high on his list. A small smile slipped across his lips, until he heard footsteps in the hallway.
Steve Lambert joined him. “Little miracles, aren’t they?”
“Uh, yeah. I don’t see Beth’s baby.”
“He’s probably in the room having breakfast with his mom.”
“Isn’t Emma—I mean, it—the baby seems hungry.”
“Emma indicated she wanted to breast-feed, but I had them give the baby sugar water until this morning. Emma will probably try today.”
“What did she say when you told her last night she was going to the ranch with me?” That question had filled his mind even as he and Billy set up the nursery last night. He didn’t think she’d easily agree.
“I didn’t talk to her. She was already asleep when I got to her room last night.”
“You were here that late? What happened?”
“An emergency. Barney Landers cut himself and had to have stitches. I got to Emma’s room by seven-thirty. But she’d already had her dinner and gone to sleep. I decided not to wake her. The nurses said she was doing all right. She needed the rest.”
“Are you going to see her now?”
“Yeah. Want to join me? We’ll face her together.”
Ryan would’ve liked to say no. He thought she’d agree with the doctor more easily than she would with him there. But it felt cowardly to hide behind his friend. “Sure,” he agreed and walked down the hall with Steve.
He dreaded every step that brought him closer to Emma.
Chapter Three
Emma gathered her strength and shoved back the blanket and sheet covering her. If she kept putting it off, she would never get out of the hospital.
And she’d decided it would be better to leave before the doctor got there…if she could manage it.
The door opened and she snatched the cover back to her chin.
Dr. Lambert caught the movement. “You need some assistance to get to the facilities? I’ll call a nurse,” he said gently and picked up her call button.
“No, I—” she began, but she stopped as Ryan came into view.
“Yes, Doctor?” the nurse called from behind Ryan’s wide shoulders.
“I think Miss Davenport needs some assistance, nurse. We’ll wait outside the room until she’s ready.” The doctor turned and pushed Ryan ahead of him, closing the door.
“What is it, dear? Are you feeling sick?”
“No, I was getting up to dress and—”
“You were what? You’ll do no such thing. I told you you were to stay in bed. Well, I never!” She tucked the covers tightly around Emma, and before Emma could ask her not to mention her indiscretion, she opened the door and announced to the doctor that Miss Davenport was getting out of bed to dress. “I’ll willingly help her, sir, if that’s what you want, but the last instructions I received were for her to stay in bed.”
“Thank you, nurse,” he replied. “Let me visit with the patient, and then I’ll get back to you.”
“Yes, sir.”
Emma lay back against the pillow, figuring she’d blown it. She’d probably receive a lecture with Ryan watching. She closed her eyes and kept them closed, even when she heard the heavy footsteps.
“Miss Davenport?”
She opened her eyes, but she turned her head away, staring at that small window again. “Yes?”
“I gather you’re anxious to leave us.”
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip. Then she said, “I’m not complaining about the service, Doctor, but my baby and I are ready to go home.”
He moved to stand beside her, taking her hand in his. “I think you’d both be better off if you wait a couple of days.”
Emma took a quick glance at Ryan’s chiseled features and then looked at the doctor. “I—I really can’t afford that. I promise I’ll be careful. My baby will be—”
“You can’t go, Emma,” Ryan announced, as if it were his decision.
She refused to look at him.
“Doctor, I’ll follow your directions, I promise, but—”
“My directions are to stay in the hospital,” the man said gently, looking at her.
“I paid your bills, Emma,” Ryan announced.
She was glad she already knew he’d done so. “I’ll pay you back,” she said, still avoiding looking at him.
“Emma, you and your baby are my responsibility.”
“No!” she exclaimed, glaring at him. “I and my baby have nothing to do with you!”
“The hell you don’t! Why am I listed as the father if that’s true?”
“Ryan, wait outside.”
Emma stared at the doctor, grateful for his intervention.
“Steve, I need to—” Ryan protested.
“Ryan, wait outside.” His voice was a little more insistent, and he stared at Ryan.
Emma closed her eyes. She heard Ryan’s footsteps leaving the room.
“Tell him I’ll have his name removed. I didn’t mean—”
“Are you telling me he’s not the father of your baby?” the doctor asked calmly.
Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him. Then she closed them again.
“That’s right,” she whispered. “I lied.”
“You’re lying now, Emma, and we both know it.”
Emma opened her eyes again and stared at the doctor. “I didn’t want my baby to have to wonder who her parents were. I didn’t intend to make Ryan pay for what he didn’t want. That’s why I need to go home today.”
“How will going home today change anything?”
She tried to sit up and he raised the head of the bed for her. “I see you know him. I know him, too. He’s a good man, but he didn’t want—want me or the baby. I don’t want him paying out of guilt. I’ll manage. I promise I’ll hold to the payment plan. Please don’t let him pay you.”
“Too late, Emma. He’s already paid,” the doctor said with a grin. “Hey, it’s not a problem for him.”
With the tears she could no longer hold back, she muttered, “It’s a problem for me.”
He pulled up a chair and sat down, shaking his head. “We’ve got something more important to talk about.”
The seriousness of his tone immediately frightened her. “Is Andrea okay? The nurse said—they haven’t brought her in. No! No, she isn’t—No!”
The door swung open and Ryan rushed in. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
The doctor ignored him and stood again, putting his hands on Emma’s shoulders. “Emma, your baby is fine. That’s not what I meant. She’s fine. The nurse is going to bring her in in a few minutes to show you how to nurse her.”
“You told her something was wrong with the baby?” Ryan demanded, his voice rising in alarm. “But you said she was fine.”
“You people are crazy,” the doctor said with a smile. “Listen to me. The baby—what’s-her-name—is perfectly healthy.”
“Andrea Leigh,” Emma said, wiping her cheeks, subsiding since the doctor wasn’t alarmed. She felt ridiculous for making such a fuss.
“Leigh?” Ryan repeated, disbelief in his voice. “You named her after my mother?”
She heard the anger rising in his voice. She drew a deep breath. “Yes, Andrea Leigh.”
“Hoping to get my mother on your side?”
“Ryan…” the doctor said in warning.
Emma had regained control, however. She looked at Ryan, really looked at him for the first time, and said, “Yes, I named her after her grandmother. Because she’s the only grandmother Andy will ever have.”
Then she turned away from Ryan. “What did we need to discuss, Doctor?”
Ryan stared at Emma. Two minutes ago, she was almost hysterical. Then she’d stared him down when he asked about the baby’s name.
His mother was going to be upset enough about the situation without discovering the baby was her namesake.
One more problem to deal with.
“No!” Emma shouted, upset again.
Ryan came back to the present to stare at her. “What’s going on?”
Steve sighed. “I explained about your offer to take Emma and the baby home with you while she recovered.”
She turned a stubborn look toward him. “No, thank you.”
Politeness with an attitude.
“Steve said you can’t go home, Emma. You need someone to take care of you.” She’d be reasonable. After all, he was a responsible man.
“No.”
No attitude now. Just an emotionless firm answer.
“Emma,” the doctor said, intervening again, “If you want to leave the hospital, you have to have someone to help you with the baby, to clean and cook for you. Do you have anyone who can do that?”
Emma stared straight ahead, ignoring both men. “I’ll manage.”
“Emma, I don’t want to have to ask Social Services to step in.”
Emma gasped, her hand going to her throat.
“Steve,” Ryan protested, knowing how much that threat would hurt Emma.
Steve held up his hand. “I don’t want to, but I’m not going to let you risk your baby’s health, Emma. Or your own. I don’t want you to lift anything, even your baby, for at least a week.”
It upset Ryan when Emma’s cheeks whitened. “Emma, Billy’s planning on you coming. He’ll take care of everything, and I’ll hire one of the wives on the ranch to help you every day. You won’t have to worry about me bothering you.”
He’d thought his words would help, but she looked even more devastated. Frowning, he tried to think about what he’d said to upset her, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.
“It’s the only way, Emma, if I’m going to let you out of here before at least a week is up,” Steve added.
“Please, couldn’t I—”
“No.”
Ryan wanted to rail at her. She made his offer sound like torture. He was trying to help. What was wrong with her? But he didn’t need Steve’s glare to warn him to keep quiet. Every time he spoke it only made matters worse.
“If I agree to go to the ranch, can Andy and I go today?” Emma asked, her voice trembling.
Steve reached out and covered her hand resting on the blanket. “No, but you can go after I see you in the morning.”
Ryan held his breath, waiting for her answer. It was because it was the only safe thing to do, of course. His tension had nothing to do with Emma…or her baby.
With her lashes lowered, she said, slowly, “All right.”
“Good, I’m glad. Now I won’t have to worry about that beautiful little girl,” Steve said, patting her hand again.
Ryan watched that hand, fighting the urge to tell him to take his hands off Emma. Which was ridiculous. Steve wasn’t that kind of man. Emma was safe with him.
Then Emma turned her gaze on him. “Can Billy take me to the apartment first? I’ll need—”
“We have everything you need. He set up a nursery last night.” That wasn’t quite honest. Billy hadn’t done it by himself, but Emma didn’t seem to want Ryan involved in anything connected to her or her baby.
Not that he blamed her. Ever since he’d seen that tiny baby, with him named as the father, and realized Emma had already been pregnant when he’d shut her out of his life, guilt had filled him.
Damn it, he’d been right, believing he shouldn’t have anything to do with family. His mistake was not explaining that to Emma before he—
“Ryan?” Steve called, interrupting his self-castigation. “I think Emma will be able to leave about ten in the morning. Is that all right with you?”
“Yes, of course.”
Emma said nothing, staring out the small window. The door opened again behind Ryan and he automatically turned to see who had arrived.
The nurse had stepped into the room. But she wasn’t alone. That pink bundle was in her arms. He stepped closer, wanting a better view of the baby. But then he looked at Emma. The panic-stricken look on her face stopped him.
Did she think he would hurt the child? She considered him a monster? He might not have chosen to have another child, but he wouldn’t harm the baby.
His features stiff, he stepped away from the new arrivals and noted the relief on Emma’s face. The message was clear. She was coming to his ranch because she had no choice, but she wanted nothing to do with him. Nor did she want him to touch her child.
Steve was standing beside Emma and reached out to pat her shoulder. “The nurse is going to help you start nursing your little girl, but they’re not going to bring the baby to you tonight. The nurses will give her more sugar water. I want you to have one more night of sleep before you leave.”
“Oh, but I can—”
“Not tonight,” he said firmly but cheerfully. “We’ll leave you alone now for your lesson. Goodbye, Emma.”
Ryan didn’t know whether to add his goodbye or not. Maybe it would be best if he just faded from view.
When he and Steve reached the hallway, he walked beside his friend, saying nothing.
“You know,” Steve finally said, “I’m disappointed in you, Ryan.”
Ryan’s head snapped up and he stared at his friend. “What? Why?”
“I thought you’d make a little more effort to support Emma. I think the past few months have been difficult for her.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Ryan demanded, his voice hoarse. “Do you think I haven’t condemned myself over and over again for the way I treated her? But she doesn’t want anything from me. She hardly speaks to me, avoids looking at me. If she had anyone else to turn to, she wouldn’t be coming home with me. That much was clear.”
Steve shook his head. “I’m not so sure. She could be afraid to get close to you again.”
“Yeah, because she hates me.” He started walking again. “I’m doing what I can. She’ll be taken care of, and I’ll keep my distance. That’s the best I can do to help her out.”
This time, Steve didn’t argue with him.
After an almost sleepless night, Ryan arrived at the hospital a little early the next morning. He’d talked to Jack yesterday evening and knew Beth was going home today, too. Jack had arranged for a temporary housekeeper to help Beth during the day when he returned to work as the only local attorney.
Ryan knocked on Beth’s door.
“Come in,” Jack called.
“Everyone packed?” Ryan asked, trying to keep his voice cheerful.
“Come in, Ryan,” Beth called, smiling. “Yes, we’re packed. We’re just waiting for Steve to okay everything.”
“Good. So you and junior are doing okay?”
“Yes, fine. Better than you, I’d say.” Beth looked at her husband before shifting her gaze back to Ryan.
“Stayed up too late working,” Ryan muttered.
“I see. I thought maybe you were worrying about not telling me about Emma.”
Ryan glared at Jack, figuring he’d told his wife about Emma and the baby.
“I didn’t say a word,” Jack protested, rightly interpreting Ryan’s glare.
“For heaven’s sake, Ryan, the entire town is talking. I had to pretend I already knew when my visitors spilled the beans. Why didn’t you tell me? How long have you known?”
“Beth, I—I found out when I saw the baby in the nursery. It’s been a shock.” What an understatement, Ryan thought. He still didn’t know what he was going to do.
“Oh. Well, I want to go see her before I go home. She might not let me visit her if I don’t.”
“Don’t you need to wait for Steve?”
“I’ll tell them at the nurse’s desk where I am. Please?” Beth pleaded with her gaze as well as her words.
Ryan shrugged. “You’ll get a better reception if you go without me.”
“But—but I heard you’re taking her home to the ranch.”
Ryan stuck his hands in his jean pockets. “Yeah, but she hates my guts. She’s going because she can’t manage on her own. She didn’t handle everything as well as you did.”
Beth stared at him before turning to her husband. “Go get a wheelchair. I want to take Jackson to show her.”
“You can’t walk?” Ryan asked, worried.
“I can, but I worry about stumbling when I’m carrying the baby.”
Jack was quickly back with a wheelchair. While he was gone, Ryan had taken a closer look at his namesake. Ryan Jackson had weighed over eight pounds when he was born, and he hadn’t lost much weight.
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