Summer in Manhattan
Katherine Garbera
A summer to remember…When Cici Johnson falls for the charms of American big shot Rich Maguire, their drunken one night stand results in an unexpected pregnancy. Rich wants nothing to do with the baby or Cici, but she's determined to give their child the love of two parents on her own.Jason Hooper's spent his whole life wondering what family really means. In and out of the foster care system, he never gets too close to anyone; just in case they walk away. But then he meets Cici and he feels as if he's finally home.For both of them, the summer they share in Manhattan couldn't be sweeter. If only he'll let his guard down, Hoop's own happy-ever-after might not be make-believe anymore…
Summer in Manhattan
KATHERINE GARBERA
A division of HarperCollinsPublishers
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HarperImpulse
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First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2017
Copyright © Katherine Garbera 2017
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Cover design © Books Covered 2017
Katherine Garbera asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780008142544
Ebook Edition © July 2017 ISBN: 9780008194765
Version: 2017-07-11
Table of Contents
Cover (#u96d1d356-abc1-545e-a2c7-60dce33356ae)
Title Page (#u84f3b6ea-0843-5a06-b9fc-e7258e6b12b3)
Copyright (#u9b791b9b-95eb-56be-b7e5-1ba31f7b672e)
Chapter 1 (#uf9c6d11f-f47c-5d8a-aed1-3472f7b1fab3)
Chapter 2 (#u8c4ad23c-6db7-5962-89d6-ca2d90153340)
Chapter 3 (#u0c44163f-7379-57cf-82bf-95d1dc776473)
Chapter 4 (#u8b964137-e524-5f92-8641-a57bd0e8ca1e)
Chapter 5 (#udec950a1-2f54-588c-812e-41ce6a4653a5)
Chapter 6 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 7 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 8 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 9 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 10 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 11 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 12 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 13 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 14 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 15 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 16 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 17 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 18 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 19 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 20 (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Also by Katherine Garbera (#litres_trial_promo)
About HarperImpulse (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 1 (#uff7ccf9f-610b-51d0-a31e-3f56cebe8f93)
Sunny, summery, perfect.
That was all Cici Johnson thought as she walked out the front door of her building on New York’s Upper East Side. She’d been living in the City for more than five years. She’d gone into business with her two best friends, Hayley and Iona, and they were the toast of the town thanks to Valentine’s Day and their new chocolate making classes. But like Hayley said, give a girl chocolate and she’s happy for one day, teach a girl to make her own and she’ll be happy forever.
Or something like that.
But then Hayley was in the flush of new love so everything seemed so great and optimistic for her. She wasn’t on skid row with her relationship, which was the way Cici seemed to be.
Numbers were her game and always had been. For most of her life, she didn’t realize that everyone didn’t see numbers in their head the way that she did. In fact, she’d rather deal with a spreadsheet or analyze statistics any day than have to try to figure out people.
Bad ass number cruncher, she thought, as she pulled her horn-rimmed glasses from her bag and put them on. As if being a math nerd wasn’t enough, she was also pretty much blind without her glasses on.
“Looking good, Cici,” Hayley said with a wave as Cici approached Sant Ambroeus, an upscale Italian espresso bar and restaurant. When they’d been in the planning stages of the Candied Apple & Cafe they’d spent a lot of time here drinking espresso and eating cornetti, a fancy word for Italian croissants. These days, Cici was cutting back on her caffeine intake but she had found she loved the smell of it and her friends were indulging.
“Hey, girl. I guess that week in Jamaica didn’t kill you,” Cici said with a laugh.
“Not in the least. And you and Io didn’t have any problems at the Candied Apple & Cafe,” Hayley replied, pulling her close for a hug. Her friend looked tanned and completely relaxed. As much as she hated to admit it, it seemed like finding a guy and falling in love had been good for Hayley.
Hayley had cut her hair on her last birthday and decided it was time to be someone new. To stop trying to please everyone and just do what felt right to her. And it had worked. Cici wondered if she could do that too. Cut her hair and change her life?
“Where’s Io?”
“Running late,” Cici said. “I think she’s still trying to get a decent rent for the new place she wants to open near Town Hall.”
“She’s such a property diva. She should have her own show,” Hayley said as they went inside and were seated.
“Cappuccino,” Hayley said.
“Green tea,” Cici asked for as she eyed the espresso machine in the back longingly.
Their waiter, Alfonso, put his hand on Cici’s shoulder. “Stay strong bella.”
“Ha,” Cici said, sitting back in her chair. She put her hand on her stomach. She was ten weeks pregnant. Not a big deal. But she’d been hiding it from her friends and family since she’d…well, she’d done something dumb.
Well, it was only dumb when you factored in that she’d slept with one man to get back at another. A man she liked, in fact. A man who was very much in her life all the time, since he was the best friend of Hayley’s fiancé. Yeah, it was as awkward as you might have guessed.
“Before Io gets here…”
“What? Is something wrong?”
“No not at all. I was hoping you’d come and stay at my place while you’re pregnant. I know your folks are travelling this summer and I wanted you to have someone close. Plus, Garrett wants me to move into his place. And Dad will rent mine out.”
“I don’t know,” Cici replied. She was already in the process of moving closer to the city. She’d sublet her place in Queens and had her eye on a very ritzy Upper East Side apartment.
“The rent would be really low. It’s price-fixed since Dad owns the place and he paid it off before my mom died.”
If she moved into Hayley’s brownstone, she’d have a greater chance of running into Hoop and she’d done a good job of avoiding him for the last few weeks. Did she really want to ruin that?
“I’ll think about it. I already signed a contract to move into an apartment not too far from here. I bet Io would love to take your place. Her mom is always trying to set her up with a nice Greek guy.”
“My mom is unstoppable,” Iona remarked as she sat down at their table. “Sorry I’m late. What were you talking about? Besides my nightmare.”
“You have a Mom who loves you and only wants what is best for you,” Hayley said with a cheeky grin. “That’s not a nightmare.”
She’d have liked the close relationship that Iona had with her mom, Cici thought.
“Yeah, well, you’re not the one who’s supposed to go to the Hamptons in two weeks to meet some family friends. Uh, I know all of our family friends and so who could she possible have dragged into the mix?” Iona asked. “I’ll tell you who…some single guy from a good Greek family. I know she’s been to see the matchmaker.”
The waiter came back with their drinks and Iona ordered a double espresso before he left.
“Maybe the matchmaker will be the right thing for you,” Cici said. “I mean, if I learned anything watching reality TV…”
“It’s that your best-friend is going to torture you with the smell of coffee all day if you don’t stop trying to convince her that being set up by a matchmaker is a good idea?” Iona quipped.
Cici laughed and shook her head, holding her hands up at her shoulders. “Fine. I’ll stop.”
“That’s better. So, what were you talking about?” Iona asked as she lined up her sugar substitute packets for her espresso.
“Hayley wants me to move into her place but I just signed a lease on an apartment so I can’t,” Cici said. Thank heavens she’d signed that lease yesterday. It was the only way she was getting out of this. She knew her friends cared about her. But they were different than she was. They seemed to waltz through life making the right choices…heck, even their bad choices turned out okay.
“Wow, dodged that bullet,” Iona said.
Cici kicked her friend under the table.
“What are you talking about?” Hayley asked after taking a sip of her cappuccino.
“She’s trying to avoid Garrett’s friend Hoop.”
“You are?” Hayley asked, blushing as she did so.
“Yes.”
“Why?” Hayley leaned in, her blonde hair swinging forward against the side of her face.
Cici looked down at her lap, her own bangs falling over her glasses and she tried to find a way to say this next part without sounding like a woman who’d done something she regretted. She decided when she’d discovered her pregnancy that she’d try to embrace it. Even though she had always assumed she’d never have a kid of her own. Cici relished the idea of herself as the cool Auntie.
“I just don’t think it’s wise to get involved with someone who’s friends with Garrett,” she said. Actually, Hoop had said it first all three months ago when they’d been at Olympus and had shared one hot kiss.
Not hot enough for him? Too hot for him? She didn’t know. All she knew was that he’d seen her to a cab and sent her home alone.
“Is this because of…” Hayley gestured to Cici’s stomach.
“My pregnancy? Yes, that’s part of it,” Cici said. “Let’s talk about something else. Something fun for the summer at the Candied Apple & Cafe.”
Cici turned the conversation to business and was happy enough when they finished breakfast and she waved her friends goodbye. She was on a week’s vacation from the Candied Apple & Cafe so didn’t have to be in the office. It was a forced vacation of sorts, since Hayley had been on one and Iona was going to be spending a week in the Hamptons. Her friends had insisted she take a break as well.
She’d decided to move into her new apartment and try adjusting to being pregnant. Cici knew her life was about to change forever.
Jason Hooper, known to everyone as Hoop, had screwed up. It wasn’t the first time. After all, he was thirty-three and had been a cop for five years before giving it up to become an attorney. Growing up in the foster system had honed his natural instincts of being a loner. He let people in but it took him a while to decide if he should let them stay. He wanted to say that was where he’d made his mistake with Cici. He’d needed time to think. To plug the facts into a pro/con list and then decide if the heat between the two of them was worth exploring.
Stupid.
Now, he was drinking club soda but it tasted like regret as he watched her talking with her friends and mingling in a way that kept her far away from him as she worked the room at the summer kickoff party at the Candied Apple & Cafe.
Manhattan’s trendiest new chocolate shop was on a roll and if the crowd at tonight’s event was anything to go by, they were going to continue that momentum for a long time.
Cici Johnson, with her short wavy hair, thick rimmed glasses and curvy figure was temptation incarnate. But his track record with the opposite sex wasn’t the best. He didn’t do long term and it had seemed wise to him to avoid any kind of complications that would impact his friendship with Garrett.
Idiot.
“Dude, you’re staring at her,” Garrett Mulligan observed, handing him a beer.
Hoop dumped his club soda on the tray of a passing waiter and took the beer from Garrett. Garrett was his best friend and a cop. They’d known each other since high school when Garrett’s parents had become his surrogate family. Garrett was the reason why he’d screwed up with Cici.
“It’s all your fault.”
“How do you figure?” Garrett asked.
“If you hadn’t been dating Hayley then I could have comfortably had my usual fling with Cici and moved on.”
“If I hadn’t been dating Hayley you never would have met her.”
“Fair point.”
Hoop took a swallow of his beer and skimmed the room, hoping that some other woman would catch his eye. But no one did. It was Cici for him. It was as if the moment he’d told her that a few hot kisses were all they’d ever share, fate had a deep chuckle at his expense and made her impossible to forget.
“So…”
“So?”
“Are you going to go talk to her or continue to try to stare her down from here?” Garrett asked.
The party was to celebrate the start of summer and a new menu at the Candied Apple & Cafe. The trendy Fifth Avenue confectionery that was co-owned by Garrett’s fiancée Hayley, Cici and their friend Iona.
“Possibly. She’s been avoiding me. I’ve called her a dozen times.”
“I’ve never known you to let something like that stop you,” Garrett remarked with a laugh.
Hoop thought about it, and then finished his beer with one deep swallow. He wasn’t going to let it stop him. He couldn’t. He had been dating a lot the last three months since their one date. Sad that he knew exactly how long it had been, but there it was. Every time he leaned in to kiss another woman, he compared it to Cici. Every time he made another woman laugh, he remembered how much he liked Cici’s laugh. Maybe it was that he’d put her off limits. Something that could be easily fixed if he could go out on one date with her. But she had moved on.
Now he was panting after her…well not exactly panting…but close enough.
He handed his empty bottle to a passing waiter and moved through the throng of party goers toward Cici. She wore a sundress that hugged her endless curves and ended just above her knees. It was a straight sort of A-line skirt with a fitted bodice and as he got closer he noticed that she wore a thin gold necklace and the charm had moved around to nestle at the back of her neck.
She said something he couldn’t hear and the man she was talking to responded and then she laughed. He felt a bolt of awareness go through him along with a tinge of jealousy. Another man had made her laugh.
He knew it was irrational. He’d been the one to push her away, but this weird emotion that she inspired in him wasn’t rational.
“Cici,” he said softly, coming up behind her and putting his hand on the small of her back. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen you.”
She tensed immediately and he noticed that goose pimples spread down her arm as she turned to look at him. She pushed her glasses up her nose. Her bow-shaped mouth parted and her lips seemed to beckon him, but he knew that was just his own desires and not necessarily hers.
“Hoop. I didn’t realize you were at the party,” she said. “Do you know Theo? He’s Iona’s brother.”
“I do,” Hoop said, holding his hand out toward the young Greek man. Iona’s brother looked like he should be in Hollywood, starring in the big movies. Not tending bar three nights a week at a night club and DJing in his spare time. Theo shook his hand and then moved on to talk to another group of people.
Cici delicately took a step to the left, breaking contact with the hand he’d placed on her back.
“How have you been?” she asked.
“Not bad. How about yourself?” he countered. Small talk. Really? This was what he was reduced to.
“I’m okay. Listen, I’m really embarrassed that I haven’t called you back,” she said.
“You are?”
“Yes. It’s awkward, right? Our best friends are engaged and I’m dodging your calls. It’s just, I was embarrassed after that night we all went out.”
Hoop was afraid it was something like that. He had been so firm in saying no to her. “Well, I’m the one who screwed up and I’d appreciate it if you’d let me make it up to you.”
“How?” she asked.
“Drinks. Nothing too heavy, just drinks.”
How about lame, how much lamer could this get? But the fact that he hadn’t been able to forget her had knocked him off balance. Made him wonder what it was his conscious mind didn’t see that his subconscious did.
“I can’t. I’m…I just can’t,” she said quickly, walking away without a backward glance.
He stood there.
Fair enough, he thought, but another part of him didn’t want to let her go.
He followed her out onto the terrace that overlooked Central Park. The sun was setting and she stood near the edge of the balcony with her face turned toward the tepid breeze that blew.
“Why?” he asked, staying where he was just on the threshold of the balcony.
“Why what?” she too asked, turning toward him. The wind blew her curly hair around her face and she reached up to push a strand back behind her ear.
“I guess I should have said why not?” he elaborated.
“Our friends are engaged now. They were just dating before,” she said. “Nothing has really changed. And I don’t want to have to start avoiding them.”
“What if things worked out between us?” he asked, taking a step closer.
“If you really believed that you wouldn’t have pushed me away that night at Olympus,” she said. “Let’s just be friends.”
“Friends?”
“We can do that right?”
“Yes,” he said. But inside, every male instinct he had said no. He’d been friend-zoned by the one woman who he couldn’t get out of his head. She haunted him night and day. He saw her in his dreams and thought of her when a meeting at work droned on. So how was he going to be “just friends” with her now?
Cici spent the next week avoiding her friends and staying in her office. She had to file their quarterly earnings so she was kept busy. She kept the door to her office closed but she still could hear the bustle of Hayley and her staff working in the kitchen.
Carolyn, the assistant manager of the store, had been bringing her fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate and apple and seltzer water iced drinks that kept Cici cool while she worked.
“Figured you could use one of these,” Carolyn said.
The other woman was five foot, five inches tall and wore her brown hair in a high ponytail. She had an easy smile and an aggressive eye for retail space. Every time Carolyn came into her office Cici suspected the woman was going to ask for more money.
“Thanks, I am thirsty.”
“Good, got a minute?” Carolyn asked.
“I do, but your budget is fixed,” Cici said with a smile as she took a sip of her cool drink.
“Oh, it’s not about the store. I heard you were subletting your place in Queens…”
“I am. But I already found someone,” Cici replied. “I didn’t know you were looking for a place.”
“I’m not really. Just thought I’d see what the rent was. My place is smallish.”
“I’ll keep my ear out,” Cici said.
“Thanks,” Carolyn said. “I’ll let you get back to it. Do you want your door closed?”
“Yes please. I need quiet for my work.”
But it was a lie. She was hiding.
She knew it and she suspected her friends did too, but they were giving her space.
She was the first of their group to be pregnant and she suspected, just like her, they didn’t know what to expect. Her mom, who Cici still hadn’t told about the pregnancy, had been texting her every day.
For some reason her mom had never fully grasped that her adult daughter had a real job and bills. She still wanted Cici to go on every family vacation and be available for any family gathering at the drop of a hat.
That’s why when her phone buzzed she ignored it. She didn’t want to see another smiling photo of her mom, stepdad and twin half-brothers on the steps of Machu Picchu.
She finished tallying up the last column of numbers and then set it aside to take another sip of her drink.
She picked up the phone, surprised that the message was from Hoop and not her parents.
Hoop: Hello, it’s Hoop. Hayley gave me your number. I’ve got an extra ticket to the Yankees game on Friday. Heard you’re a baseball fan. Wanna go? Just friends! :)
She leaned back in her chair and looked at the ceiling in her office. It was a faux exposed beam and plaster number that made the building seem like an idealized French country farmhouse.
Baseball. She loved the game. Before the twins were born, she and her stepdad had gone to every game. Her love of numbers had served her well because she remembered all the stats of players. She might not be able to remember other things but those stats had stayed with her.
Cici: Okay.
Hoop: Great. What’s your address? I’ll pick you up.
Cici: I can meet you there.
Hoop: Friends, right?
She sighed. This friend thing wasn’t as easy as she hoped. She was walking a fine line between letting him into her life and keeping him at arm’s length.
Cici: Yeah. Here’s my address.
Hoop: See you on Friday.
Cici: See ya.
She stood up and walked out of her office, determined to politely tell Hayley to stop playing go between with her and Hoop. But her friend was busy with one of the new apprentice candy makers at the marble countertops. So Cici walked into the retail shop instead.
They were busy for mid-afternoon but it was late May and some tourists whose kids were already out of school were taking a break from the heat and enjoying their famous Candied Apple & Cafe milkshakes.
She waved at the manager as she walked through the store and out onto the street. Immediately she wished she’d brought her sunglasses but she didn’t want to go back inside. Not yet.
She felt restless and she admitted to herself as she walked up Fifth Avenue, past all the shops and tourists, a little bit scared. When she got to St Patrick’s Cathedral, Cici walked up the steps and into the church.
It was cool and quiet inside and she made her way to one of the pews in the back of the church. She took a seat on the cold wooden bench and closed her eyes. In her head were images of the church from when she was younger and she heard the hymns of her youth playing in her mind. She sat there and quietly prayed as she did most days.
For guidance.
She had spent most of her life managing one crisis or another brought on by her impulsive behavior and she knew that she had to change. She wanted to give her child the best in life, starting with a good parent.
She didn’t think about the man she’d slept with or the fact that when she’d called him he’d said he wanted nothing to do with her or the baby.
That was in the past. She’d find a way to bring her baby up and shower him or her with so much love they’d always feel wanted.
That was all she could do.
She put the kneeler down and then said the prayers she’d learned growing up. Just the familiar words, soothing her troubled soul, and bringing her a surcease from her thoughts.
When she was done, she put some folded bills from her pocket in the collection box and went back outside.
She was going to have to figure out how to be friends with Hoop. Actual friends. Because every time she saw his name she felt a little thrill go through her and she knew that wasn’t a good idea.
In fact, going to a baseball game with him wasn’t smart either. Before she could change her mind, she pulled out her phone and texted him she couldn’t make it.
She didn’t need another complication in her life right now and it felt like Hoop could be a very big one. She went back to work, filed the taxes and then spent the rest of the day in her new apartment.
She was avoiding Hayley, who’d tried talking to her about Hoop, and Iona, who wanted to go shopping for baby clothes with her. Cici realized that before anything else, she really needed to find her own inner strength.
Chapter 2 (#uff7ccf9f-610b-51d0-a31e-3f56cebe8f93)
Cici’s apartment was slowly coming together. It was different from the house in Queens and she hoped that it represented her new life with her baby. She put her hand over her stomach, as was becoming a habit, as if by touch she would be able to connect to the child who was still more of a hazy idea than reality to her.
She sat down on the two-seater couch with overstuffed cushions, leaning on the patterned throw pillow. She put her feet up on the glass coffee table and looked around the apartment.
She’d worked hard for this place and felt a real sense of pride that she’d earned this. The sweeping curved staircase led to the upper floor and her bedroom and the room she was going to make into the nursery. It was a pre-war apartment building that had been completely redone. Her living room had a fireplace with built-in bookcases on either side and she’d lined the shelves with her favorite books. Her childhood favorites by authors like E.L. Konigsburg, Madeleine L’Engle and her collection of Trixie Belden books. She’d started a collection of Dr. Seuss books for the baby. The next shelves held her paperback collection of romance novels, thrillers and of course all the Harry Potter books.
She had pictures on the shelf as well. One of her, Hayley and Iona on the day they’d opened the Candied Apple & Cafe. Even seated across the room she could still see those big grins on their faces. The sense of joy and happiness she got from her job and her friendship with those women…well, that was something she hoped she could give her child too.
Her child.
Sometimes it still didn’t seem real.
She had tried to reach out to Rich…the man who’d fathered her child, but he really didn’t want to be part of her life or the baby’s. She got it. She was the one who was carrying the kid and even she was dealing with, well, the unreality of it. And as Rich had pointed out, they barely knew each other. It had been a wedding party hook up. Not forever.
She let her head fall back on the edge of the couch and looked up at the ceiling with its ornate trim and realized that no matter how together this apartment looked, she was still a complete mess on the inside.
The timer on her smart phone went off and she jumped up. She had plans tonight. Shakespeare in the park. One of her favorite things about summer.
She got changed into a flowy summery top and a pair of white jeans that were actually a little loose on her thanks to all the morning sickness, and then she opted to skip putting in her contacts and grabbed her prescription sunglasses instead.
She took a look at herself in the mirror, her curly hair was actually not too frizzy tonight and she turned sideways to check herself out. Then she put her hands under the flowy top and pushed it out a little bit. That’s what she was going to look like soon. When the baby started showing.
She pulled her hands out and smoothed the top back into place.
“I don’t regret you, bean,” she whispered, and then filled her mind with love for the unborn child that resided there. Ten weeks pregnant. And definitely on her own with the baby.
No regrets.
She left her apartment and walked through Central Park to her seat. She was ready to relax, sip her juice smoothie and let Beatrice and Benedict sweep her away. She was going to forget that she was almost three months pregnant and alone.
“Excuse me.”
She glanced up to see a latecomer making his way down the row behind her. She really had no tolerance for people who came to shows late. It wasn’t like they hadn’t printed the time on the ticket. But then she was chronically early for everything. She glanced at the seat next to her that was still empty.
Let it stay empty.
She noticed the man on her left standing and realized that the person holding the ticket for the seat next to hers was finally here.
She stood up to let him go by, glancing up with a smile on her face that froze as she looked into those familiar sky blue eyes.
“Hoop.”
“Cici,” he said. “Funny running into you here.”
Yeah, funny.
She sat down after he went past her, pulling her phone out of her bag. How could Hayley set her up like this?
“Don’t blame Hayley,” Hoop said. “I made her do it.”
“Why?” Cici replied.
“It just felt like we needed to clear the air,” he said. “And I hesitated with you before and screwed up so this time…I’m not going to do that again. I’ll tell you all about it after the play. I made us dinner reservations at a nearby restaurant.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Cici said, her stomach sinking. She couldn’t start a new relationship right now. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind and she wasn’t even sure what her life was going to be in six months’ time when she gave birth to the baby.
“Please, Cici, give me a chance to make up for the way I behaved that night. The truth is we had a real connection and that scared me,” he said.
She didn’t want to hear him saying things she had wished he’d said that first night. She glanced down at the round stage set up at the bottom of the bleachers and then further on to the castle with the flag flying. She wanted to believe that this was a true second chance.
If she hadn’t been so emotional and determined to prove that she was still attractive to other men that night in February this wouldn’t be an issue. But she’d always let her temper get the better of her.
And no matter what Hoop thought at this moment, she knew that no man wanted to raise another man’s child. She knew it first-hand. Her stepfather was nice but he wasn’t a dad to her. Not the way he was to his own kids, her half siblings, and she wanted more for her baby. And for herself.
“I … things have changed Hoop.”
“How?” he asked.
She glanced again at the stage, willing Don Pedro to come out on stage and start the show, but they still had a good five minutes before that would happen.
She took a deep breath and that didn’t help. She took a sip of her smoothie. Hoop reached over and put his hand on hers.
“What is it you are trying to tell me?” he asked.
“I’m pregnant.”
There. She’d said it.
“What?” he asked, sitting back in his seat, trying to process what he’d just heard.
“I’m having a baby,” she said.
“And the dad? Oh, God, is that why you have been avoiding me?” he asked. “I shouldn’t have pushed the way I did. You said friends and I’m here like, ‘let’s start over.’”
She put her hand on his arm.
“The dad is out of the picture. It’s embarrassing, Hoop. And honestly, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fair enough,” he said.
She stared at him in the deepening twilight. He had a classically beautiful face, strong masculine jaw, high cheekbones and there was some emotion in his eyes that she couldn’t read.
He’d made a decision at the Olympus nightclub when they’d met, one that had set her on this course and she knew there was no way to change it. In fact, she wouldn’t change it. She wouldn’t change it. She and the bean were going to be a team and they’d have each other’s back. Not like her mom when she’d married her stepdad and started a new family with him…
Or at least that was the plan. So far, it was nothing more than a new attitude and some determination, but she’d always been able to make things happen and she knew that this would be no different.
Pregnant.
He didn’t know how to react to that. It was the last thing he’d expected. He understood now why she’d been so hesitant to see him again. And he’d said they’d be friends…he could do that, right?
He had no idea.
A kid.
Children.
They were complicated.
He avoided them whenever possible. Knew how fragile life was for a child. Families fell apart, kids ended up in the system and if they were like him they ended up in a lot of homes before they found a real one.
He did his part working with the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization but dating a woman who was pregnant…well, she didn’t want to date so that wasn’t an issue.
Frankly, his mind was slammed with a bunch of different scenarios on how to deal with this and the one that would be the easiest would be to be friendly until the end of the first act, fake an emergency work text and leave. Except he was a man and his foster father, the one he thought of as his dad, had raised him to take the right path; not the easy one.
Hoop had grown up in foster care until he’d finally made it to the Fillions’. The man had been gruff and to be honest it had been more of a halfway house where Hoop had been faced with shaping up or going to jail. Pops had reached him somehow and set him on the path he was on now.
“Want to bolt, don’t you?” she asked. She didn’t take her eyes off the stage but he knew all of her concentration was on him.
“Yeah. But I won’t.”
“Why not?” she asked, turning to face him. Those blue eyes of hers behind her dark rimmed glasses were guarded and she had a bead of sweat on her upper lip.
He reached over and brushed it off with his thumb and felt that zing go through him. There was a connection between the two of them and if he hadn’t tried to ignore it when they’d first met, well, maybe things would be different. But they weren’t.
“I can’t get you out of my head, Cici,” he admitted. “And running from you, from this…” he gestured to the two of them, “didn’t really help me before.”
“I’m not the same woman you first met,” she said.
“Of course not. But I’d still like to get to know you better,” he said.
She sighed.
That didn’t bode well for his chances of even having dinner with her tonight.
“That’s a no, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It’s not you, it’s me. I mean, really me.”
“Pipe down over there, the show is starting.”
Cici flushed and then turned to face the stage as Don Pedro came on and Much Ado About Nothing started. Hoop wanted to take her hand and lead her away from here but he noticed that Cici sank back into her seat, took a sip of her smoothie and was entranced by the play. She watched it carefully, laughing at times, and even though this was one of Hoop’s favorite Shakespeare plays, he watched her instead of the action.
When the production was over and they filed out of their seats, he knew she was ready to leave.
“I have that dinner reservation,” he said.
“I know. I’m hungry.”
“Then come and eat with me. We can talk and get to know each other better. No pressure or anything. Just a guy and a girl.”
“But we’re not just a guy and a girl.”
He took her hand in his and started walking on the path that lead to Central Park West and the restaurant he’d booked. “Tonight we are. Just for tonight. We never had a real date.”
“No we didn’t,” she said. “I really liked you.”
“I know. I think it freaked me out a little,” he admitted. He wished it hadn’t but he knew that he liked things, relationships, to be light and uncomplicated and Cici had felt even then like she’d demand more.
“And it’s not freaking you out now?”
“Nope,” he said. “Not tonight. I think you need a night out and I could use one too.”
“Okay but this is just one night. That’s it. Dinner and then I get a cab home.”
“Dinner and then we can see what happens.”
She nibbled her lower lip and narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you want to happen?”
“I have no idea, Cici. You are always throwing my carefully made plans into chaos, so I never know what to expect.”
“Just dinner. That’s it.”
He nodded, but he knew he wanted more. Even as he was making small talk about the play, he was very aware that Cici was different. And one dinner date was never going to satisfy him.
But she wasn’t in a place for anything more. And Hoop would respect that. He would be the friend he knew she’d need. He worked with foster kids and with their birth mothers’ pro bono, trying to bring together families that were broken. He knew how complicated it could be and wanted more than that for Cici.
“Why are you watching me?”
“Just trying to remind myself that you need a friend and not a lover,” he said.
She tipped her head to the side, studying him. “Let’s start with the friend and then we’ll see about the other.”
“Well, friend, why do you love Shakespeare?” he asked.
“Why do you?” she countered.
“When I was growing up, someone gave me a copy of The Tempest. It was addictive. I loved the story and it gave me something to do at night. I was a bit of a troublemaker for a while and had a curfew so if I broke it…I’d go to jail.”
“You were a bad boy?”
“Yes, but not as bad as I could have been. And that’s not as glamorous as it might seem.”
“I was a good girl. If there was a rule, I followed it. Actually, if I even thought something might be a rule I didn’t break it.”
“I can see that,” he said. “But you’ve got a wild side too.”
“Don’t we all,” she said smiling.
“I’m not sure about that. I really don’t anymore,” he said.
“Well, I’m not sure I’m all that wild. It’s just sometimes…well, I get to the point where I can’t follow one more rule. So I end up doing something like playing hooky from work and going to a baseball game or flirting with a guy in a club or…” she patted her stomach. “Sleeping with a guy that I shouldn’t.”
He squeezed her hand. “I had a couple of one night stands trying to forget you.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I feel like I’ve tried everything to get you out of my head,” he said. “But you just won’t leave.”
She didn’t say anything else and they exited the park and he led her to the restaurant he’d chosen. It was a pop up Asian fusion place that was run by Alfonso, the first kid he’d been a big brother to. That had been almost ten years ago. Alfonso was an up and coming chef and Hoop was proud of the man that he’d become.
“A pop-up?”
“Yes. Do you mind?”
“No. Not at all. Iona wants us to do something like this leading up to Christmas. She thinks that we can make money by having more than one location. But I’m not really sure how to monetize it.”
“Well, I know the chef and he runs this place like a small business. If you’d like, I can introduce you and you can chat with him about it.”
That would be a good idea. Hoop didn’t want Cici to feel pressured by this date, and their talk as they’d walked over had made him realize he hadn’t really thought this through. Granted, Cici was a very different woman than she had been the last time they’d hung out together, but he also hadn’t seen her as anything more than a sexy woman he was obsessed with. Her life was complicated and he could easily see himself falling for her. But he’d always promised himself he’d stay single.
He had no idea how a good relationship worked. He’d seen other couples make it work but he’d always known it wasn’t for him.
Cici was going to need a man who wanted more than a few months of sex and some friendship when he moved on. And Hoop wasn’t too sure he could deliver that. Hell, he knew he couldn’t.
He led her up the steps of the restaurant where Alfonso’s partner, Lulu, was doing the front of house service.
“Hoop. It’s been too long since we last saw you,” she said, coming over to give him a hug. Lulu was tiny, not even five foot tall. She had long brown hair that she wore in a thick braid down her back. She had her nose pierced with a small sparkling gem and she wore heavy eye make-up that made her look exotic.
“It has been too long. I have been meaning to stop by but the job has been crazy,” Hoop said. “This is my friend Cici.”
“Hello, Cici. Nice to meet you,” Lulu said. “Fonz thought being a lawyer wasn’t going to be your thing. Too many office hours.”
“He was right, but I do like the work so it’s not that bad,” Hoop said.
“You sound like me, dude,” Alfonso said as he came in from the back of the restaurant. The place was small and could only seat ten customers. There was a couple in the corner and another party of four eating appetizers near the window.
Hoop and Alfonso hugged and when Hoop stepped back he drew Cici closer and introduced her to Alfonso. He thought about how lost he’d been when Pops had stepped into his life and how he’d passed it on by helping out Alfonso when he’d been in the same place.
He kept in touch with both men, and with the other kids he was a big brother to and he liked it. It was enough for him.
But as Cici was talking and he watched Lulu and Alfonso he wondered if he was missing something.
“Ready for dinner? I’ve got a new dish that is going to blow you away,” Alfonso said excitedly.
“I’m ready.”
“Me too,” Cici said.
Lulu led them to a table and after they were seated and alone, Cici leaned in. “So you do a lot of work with Big Brothers?”
“Yes. It’s a good organization,” Hoop said.
“I didn’t see that side of you,” she said.
“We met in a club. You saw the party animal.”
“I did,” she conceded. “I’m trying to reconcile the two men.”
“They aren’t two men,” he said. “Any more than you are two women.”
“You’re right. It’s just I thought of you as one kind of person.”
“What kind is that?”
“I don’t know. I mean you’re an ex-cop turned attorney, you’re a big brother and you like Shakespeare…I guess I just had a one-dimensional image of you.”
He didn’t know how to respond to that. He wasn’t really super comfortable talking about himself and thankfully, Lulu brought over their complimentary appetizers; some spring rolls. They ate and Hoop steered the conversation to safer topics like books and music. They had some things in common.
Though he was never going to understand why women loved Jane Austen as much as they did. Cici made a convincing argument for the appeal of a man with manners. It was a fun night and Hoop wanted to pretend that he could be satisfied with it, but to be honest, Cici had whetted his appetite. He wanted more. He needed more.
He knew he was going to ask her out again until he could satisfy the growing need inside of him. He just had to.
Chapter 3 (#uff7ccf9f-610b-51d0-a31e-3f56cebe8f93)
Dinner was delicious and for a while she forgot about everything as they ate and talked about books, movies and what shows they binge-watched on Netflix. He was a sucker for police procedural shows and she favored comic book heroes.
They ordered dessert and as they waited for their dishes to come, he leaned forward. A thick swath of dark hair fell onto his forehead and he pushed it back, making him look more boyish in the dim lighting of the restaurant. He was always serious, so it was interesting to see this other side of him. The light stubble on his jaw did nothing to detract from the attraction Cici felt for him. In fact, she wouldn’t mind running her fingers down the line of his jaw. His eyes were blue, not like the sky, more like a grayish blue that she’d seen a few times at dawn. His lips were full and he was easy to make smile.
Life would be so much easier if she’d never met him, Cici thought. Hoop’s hair was longer on the top than at the back and a strand fell forward as he took a sip from his water glass. He raised his thick eyebrows at her.
“So tell me about the guy.”
The guy.
There wasn’t a note of judgment in Hoop’s voice. If there had been she would have shut him down and left. But instead there was curiosity and friendliness.
She closed her eyes, wishing she’d skipped dessert and left about two minutes ago. Before he’d gotten around to that.
He was an actor, but not one she’d ever heard of. Though she recalled that he’d been rather loquacious about a pilot he’d shot before coming to Jamaica, but frankly he’d talked a lot and she’d been more focused on the champagne than on what he’d been saying.
“There’s not really much to tell,” she said.
“His name maybe?” Hoop asked. “Listen, if you don’t want to talk about him…then I’ll let it go. I’m just curious.”
She wasn’t keeping the guy a secret so it didn’t matter to her, except that she sort of wanted to pretend that it had never happened.
“I really don’t want to talk about it because this entire thing is not who I usually am. I’m methodical, you know? I plan things out and then act accordingly.”
“Why didn’t you with him?”
“Because …” she took a sip of her drink and wondered if she should be honest with him, and then realized she had nothing to lose. They weren’t dating and probably after tonight he’d start avoiding her so she could just as well tell him without really worrying.
“The truth…is you hurt me that night at Olympus. I thought we had a connection and when you shut me down it brought up all these doubts in myself as a woman. So, when I went to my cousin’s wedding and one of the groomsmen was flirting with me—it was flattering. His name is Rich. Rich Maguire. I had too much champagne. He did too and in the morning we both regretted it. I left as quickly as I could.”
Hoop fiddled with his fork, turning it over and over in his hands before putting it back down on the table. “I never meant for you to feel like that. I’m sorry, Cici.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I think it was just Hayley finding someone to share her life with and I don’t know. Just sometimes I get distracted by a pair of blue-gray eyes.”
“I don’t do relationships well,” he said. “I…I grew up in the foster system so I hesitate when things feel…well, like they could be real. I’m always afraid to believe it. And Garrett is like a brother to me. I didn’t want…”
She put her hand on his. “It’s okay. Really.”
She didn’t want to make Hoop feel bad about that night. If she hadn’t gone to the wedding maybe she would have gotten herself out of her funk. But she had and she’d slept with Rich. That was that.
“Is he definitely out of the picture? Or did he just need time to process everything?” Hoop asked.
“He’s out. He was, like ‘get an abortion, keep the baby, I don’t care what you do. I have a fiancée and don’t need this’.”
“That was pretty harsh,” Hoop said. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Me either,” she said. “But to be fair we don’t know each other at all. And we both had said it was a drunken mistake. I just wanted him to know there was a baby in case it mattered.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Don’t be. I like the idea of raising bean here on my own.”
“Bean?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been calling the baby.”
“Cute.”
“Yes, d non-gender specific.”
“Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or girl?” Hoop asked.
She rubbed her hand over her stomach. She sort of assumed she’d have a girl. Frankly, she was way better with her own sex than with the opposite one and it seemed like God might want her to succeed at this parenting thing. “Maybe.”
The desserts arrived and she looked down at the decadent chocolate lava cake, taking a bite and closing her eyes as she did so. Hayley always said the first bite of chocolate on the tongue was the best. She could tell that they used the same chocolate they did. She let the rich creaminess fill her mouth and then opened her eyes to find Hoop staring at her with an odd expression on his face.
“You okay?”
He nodded and then cleared his throat, stretching his legs out under the table, his foot brushing against hers.
“Um…did you talk to a lawyer about the situation?” he asked, slightly distracted by her touch.
“No. Should I?” she asked. Right now she was busy dealing with morning sickness and trying to figure out herself as a mother. Rich had said he wanted no role in the baby’s life and she hadn’t thought beyond that fact.
“Yes. I’m not advising you to do so just because family law is what I do, but also from experience. If the Candied Apple & Cafe continues to grow and you become a millionaire he might suddenly show up in your life again. Also, you want to have some safe guards in place for the child if they ask about the father later,” Hoop said. He took a sip of his coffee thoughtfully.
“I hadn’t thought of any of that. Actually, I’m still sort of coming to terms with everything,” she admitted. “Do you know a good lawyer who does that sort of thing?”
“I do.”
“Do I have to guess who it is?” she asked when he didn’t elaborate.
He winked at her. “Me. That’s what I do. But since we are friends, I will give you the name of one of my colleagues.”
“Really? I knew you were a lawyer but you seem more like a criminal defense one.”
“Why did you think that?”
“You seem tough and I know you were a cop. What made you want to do family law?”
“Growing up the way I did made me very aware of how complicated family legal matters can be.”
She reached across the table and put her hand over his, squeezing it gently. He made that statement so nonchalantly that she almost believed that he didn’t really feel anything about it, but there was a note in his voice that gave him away. That made her realize that his past wasn’t perfect.
Just like hers.
Both of them had come from families that were less than perfect.
They were closer now than she’d have thought at the beginning of the meal and a part of her didn’t regret it at all. Another part of her did. She wasn’t too fond of discovering more ways to bond with Hoop.
Hoop hadn’t meant to bring up the other guy but frankly he was pissed at himself and Rich for the situation. He should have followed his gut the night they’d met but instead he’d done what he thought was right.
Made the adult decision.
So now he was sitting across from the woman he wanted, listening to her talk baseball stats and getting turned on. And she’d friend zoned him. Probably the smartest choice. He was a man known for his logic, but with Cici that had never been the case.
And that would have to be enough because pressuring a woman into a deeper relationship went totally against the grain. He wasn’t about to do it now with Cici.
“I know some people say Derek Jeter is the all-time greatest but if you look at the stats, he’s no Babe Ruth or Ty Cobb. It’s almost like he’s not even playing in the same league. You can’t beat those guys who made the sport great. They set standards using equipment that was rougher, heavier, not machined to make the game easier, you know?”
He did know. He also knew that nothing excited him as much as hearing her talk about baseball. There was that passion again that he’d first noticed at the Olympus in February.
Regret didn’t taste good with port, he thought.
“Which is why I invited you to the baseball game together,” he said. “We could have a really good time.”
She smiled and then sighed.
She leaned forward, putting her elbows on the table and resting her head on her left hand. She looked at him from under those heavy brows and thick lashes and he suddenly couldn’t really pay attention to anything but the fall of her dark hair against her cheek. Why had he never noticed how pink her lips were before this? Or how kissable her mouth was?
She sat up, leaning forward toward him. “I’m trying to be smart for my baby. I never expected to be a Mom…not like this and I need to focus on that. And I’m going to be totally honest here, you distract me.”
“Well, let’s fix that. We need to figure this out,” he said. “The more we try to deny it, the more it will grow and then how awkward will getting together with Garrett and Hayley be?”
She shook her head and took another sip of the green tea she’d ordered after dinner. “Nope, it’s not going to work. I see where you are going. But we had a shot and now I have this little bean. I can’t…”
“You can. It’s not like I’m not a decent guy. You liked me enough to kiss me in Olympus and once again in the cab when I took you home.”
She put her mug down on the saucer and gave him a hard look. “But you didn’t like me enough. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be difficult. But you hurt me, Hoop. You made me feel like I wasn’t enough. I don’t like that. I act stupid when I’m hurt like that.”
Her words wounded him but only because he hadn’t thought of things from her point-of-view. He had pushed her away. She’d been willing to give him a chance; a real chance, but he’d been a guy.
“I’m an ass.”
“Agreed,” she said, with a smile. “Just kidding…you’re not an ass. I think you are actually a really nice guy. The kind of man who is responsible and a good friend.”
He hadn’t thought that he’d hurt her but now it consumed him. Made him realize how arrogant he’d been in thinking he could come back to her. He owed her. He needed to show her she wasn’t the problem. That they could, at the very least, be friends. “Let me be a friend to you, Cici. Let me prove I can be a good friend to you.”
She shook her head. “Ugh. You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?”
“Nope. Sorry, it’s not in my programming to give up on something that means a lot to me.”
“And I mean a lot to you?” she asked. “We don’t really know each other.”
“I know. But I think we could be good friends,” he said. At least to start out with. She was having a baby and he knew how fragile families were. He’d gone into family law because he wanted to help bring people together.
“Okay. I’ll go to a baseball game with you and then we can see what happens next.”
Hoop was at her door early for their date. She almost didn’t answer it but she had decided as soon as she’d found out about her little bean that she wasn’t going to run away any more. It was a baseball game. No big deal, right?
She opened the door and he stood there wearing a faded Yankees t-shirt and holding his glove loosely in one hand. His jeans were faded too and clung to his thighs.
She sighed. He was too good looking. It would have been nice if his nose had been broken and hadn’t healed properly or maybe if he had a little bit of a beer belly. But no.
“You okay?”
“What? Yes, sorry about that,” she said. She pulled the door closed behind her and locked it.
“What are you wearing?”
“My Red Sox shirt.”
“I can see that, why?”
“I’m a Red Sox fan,” she said. “I grew up in Connecticut.”
“This is going to be awkward,” he said, smiling.
“More awkward than me being pregnant?” she asked with a grin. She had decided to own it. She’d been hiding the pregnancy from her friends and family because she’d been uncomfortable and embarrassed but talking with Hoop the other night at dinner had helped her get clarity. She had decided to have the baby and she was going to figure out how to be the best damn mother she could be.
He threw his head back and laughed. She smiled, realizing just how long it had been since she’d heard him laugh. It had been that night in the club. Pre-pregnancy.
“Fair point. I have season tickets,” he said. “You’re going to be sitting in the heart of the Yankee Country.”
“I’m tougher than I look,” she said. “Plus, my team is going to whip yours and I’m prepared to be a generous winner.”
They took the subway to Yankee Stadium and Cici got a few comments on the way. There were Red Sox fans on the subway as well. But she and Hoop both ignored them.
“Maybe this wasn’t the best idea for a first date,” Hoop said. “But you’re the first girl I’ve met in a long time that actually loves baseball.”
“This isn’t technically a date,” she said, trying to keep it clear to herself and him that they were just friends. “And that can’t be true. Other women love the sport.”
“They still love Derek Jeter even though he’s retired, but you know stats,” he said.
“I’m a numbers girl,” Cici said, as they walked into the stadium and past a row of food vendors. The smells were intense and she’d never wanted a hot dog and beer as badly. She knew the beer was out but a hotdog with mustard and onions. That would be…perfection.
She suspected it was pregnancy but she also knew she wanted a distraction. Baseball and men. She should have known better than to combine the two. It was her weakness.
“Want a hot dog?” she asked.
“I’d rather know why you love baseball,” Hoop replied, but he made his way to the vendor closest to them and got in line. “I know a lot of people who are good with numbers who don’t have a passion for the game.”
“That’s personal.”
“It’s how we are going to get to know one another better,” Hoop said.
“Really?” she asked. But she remembered the other night and how talking with him about the uncomfortable stuff had helped.
“Yes,” he said. “What do you want on your dog?”
“Mustard and onions,” she said.
“Drink?”
Beer. But she couldn’t. Her grandmother talked about how she’d drank and smoked while she’d been pregnant with Cici’s mom, to which Cici’s mom always quipped “look how normal I am”, but Cici wasn’t taking any chances.
“I’ll have a soda.”
“Wait for me over there?” he asked, gesturing to a spot where the crowds were thin.
She walked over there, noting that a cool breeze blew up from the opening. She watched Hoop. He was tall and handsome but more than that he seemed to have a kind soul. She had never had a good radar with men. She knew this. And given that her first impression of him had been dead wrong, she was afraid to trust her instincts where he was concerned.
She’d liked him, he’d rejected her, she had acted impulsively. She rubbed her hands over her lower stomach where her little bean was nestled.
He came over with their food and led the way up to their seats. She ignored some of the jeers she got as they sat down. She just smiled and ate her hotdog. Hayley had made her some kale chips which Cici dug out of her bag. Hayley wanted her to eat healthily. Iona was convinced that Cici wasn’t getting enough exercise and had taken to stopping by her apartment every morning before work to walk through Central Park with her.
She sighed, offering a kale chip to Hoop.
“No way. It’s bad enough I’m sitting with a Red Sox fan, I’m not eating pretend chips.”
“They taste better than you might think,” she said.
“That’s because nothing really tastes like cardboard,” he said, taking a swallow of his beer. “This is nice.”
So many times she’d felt alone in life but Hayley and Iona were sisters of the heart. She’d gotten lucky one of her exes had dated all three of them at the same time. Without him she would never have met Iona or Hayley and started the Candied Apple & Cafe. She tried not to dwell on the fact that something good had come out of her bad taste in men.
“It is nice,” she said. But she knew she wasn’t talking about the weather or even about the game that was about to start. She was slowly coming to find that Hoop wasn’t like the other guys she’d known. He was different.
It had been hard to see at first because of his floppy hair and the way his jeans hugged his ass, but there was more to Hoop than his sexy smile and the butterflies he made her feel. He was a nice guy. A good guy. Someone she had to get to know more.
Chapter 4 (#uff7ccf9f-610b-51d0-a31e-3f56cebe8f93)
At the bottom of the fifth, the Red Sox were up by two and Cici wasn’t feeling the love from the others around her. Except for Hoop who couldn’t stop smiling at her.
She stood up to cheer.
“Cici.”
“Yes?”
He didn’t say another word, just lowered his head and their lips brushed. There was that electric buzz that went from her lips through her entire body. She closed her eyes and felt the brush of his breath over her lips before he kissed her. He pushed his tongue into her mouth with a gentle caress and she pulled him closer, going up on her tiptoes to deepen the embrace.
He smelled of summer. Sunshine and beer and hotdogs. And some scent that was just Hoop. He held her close and she felt like she wasn’t alone.
Damn.
She wanted to pull him closer and take more from him. Take everything that he had to give her and keep it. But she wasn’t sure that was possible.
He was strong, so she wanted to borrow his strength. She wanted to figure out how he was able to always be that way when she’d been faking for too long.
He kept his hands on her face, his touch light and she held onto his waist as he angled his head and broke the kiss. He looked down at her and she looked up at him and realized that no matter what she was trying to convince herself of, she wanted Hoop.
Her blood was pounding a little heavier through her veins, her skin felt so sensitized that when he skimmed his fingers down the side of her neck, goose bumps spread down her arm.
She pulled back and felt the hotdog and kale chips she’d eaten earlier start making their way back up. Damn.
“Sorry,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand.
She swallowed and reached for her bottle of water. Her “morning” sickness wasn’t going away. She tried to bolt down the aisle but not everyone was quick to move.
“I’m going to be sick,” she yelled, and if she wasn’t feeling so bad she would have laughed at how quickly the Yankee’s fans moved out of her way. She barely made it to the restroom before she threw up everything she’d eaten that day.
Her stomach wasn’t happy just emptying the contents but added acid and bile to the mix. When she was finally finished heaving, she went to the sink to rinse her face and wash out her mouth. She hadn’t realized how much she hated throwing up. But to be honest, until her pregnancy, it had been limited to some mornings in college when she’d drunk too much the night before.
This was different. She felt weak and wanted to just curl in a ball and have her mom bring her warm 7-Up and crackers. But she knew that wasn’t going to happen. She had to go back to her seat and rejoin Hoop. She patted her pocket and realized she’d left her phone and bag in the stadium.
“Bean, you are torturing me,” she said.
She walked out of the restroom and found Hoop standing against the cement wall across from the exit. He had her purse in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. He had his legs crossed at the ankles and gave her a tentative smile when he saw her.
“Some of the other fans thought you had it coming for cheering so loudly,” he said. “A few unkind ones suggested it might have been my kiss.”
“It definitely wasn’t your kiss,” she said, trying to smile. Her voice sounded funny and raw from being sick and he pushed away from the wall and walked over to her, holding out the bottle of water. She took a swallow. He handed her a piece of minty gum and she took it. He was very thoughtful and thorough.
How could she think about getting involved with Hoop? Would he even want to after that?
Being sick was just the beginning. Her body was going to change and if the chapters she’d skipped ahead to read in her pregnancy book were any indication, some of the stuff was not going to be pleasant.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“I can’t do this to you. You don’t want to be friends with a pregnant lady, Hoop. I’ve read the books and it’s just going to get worse.”
He put his hand on the back of her neck and rubbed in a soft circular motion. “Too late. I’m not going to let you keep backing away. We’ve already decided to give this a try.”
“We did?” she asked. She didn’t think they’d done that but she wasn’t ready to walk away from him yet.
“And you don’t strike me as someone who backs down. I mean, I saw you cheering on your team in enemy country.”
She smiled, even though she didn’t want to. And then wondered why she didn’t want to. Did she have to punish herself because she’d made a mistake with this man? Was that why she was trying so hard to find any reason not to be with him.
She leaned forward, putting her forehead on his chest and her arms around his waist. She could tell she startled him because his hand dropped to his side and then he wrapped his arms around her.
She held him and didn’t say anything. Just took comfort from this man who she really didn’t know what to do with. And right now, as crappy as she was feeling, she didn’t want to have to figure it out or worry about the future. She just needed…Hoop.
She lifted her head, staring up into those brilliant blue eyes of his and he put his hands on her head, tucked the long strand of her bangs back behind her ear.
He tangled their fingers together and turned so they were facing the exit. “Let’s go.”
“Go where?”
“Somewhere we can be alone,” he said.
She wanted to be the woman she saw when he looked at her. Someone who was strong. Strong enough to make the right choices and to own up to the world if she didn’t.
They’d caught a cab to Red Roosters in Harlem because Cici was hungry and somehow taking her back to his place had bad idea written all over it. Kissing her had changed something inside of him. Watching her run away to be sick had been a pretty clear reminder of her circumstances.
She needed a friend and he’d offered.
It wasn’t one he’d made lightly though. His hormones were doing their damnedest to convince him that friends with benefits was a good idea, but he knew she needed just a friend. She was on her own with the baby. And he knew how fragile that could be. He’d seen it as an adult and lived through it as a child.
And she had seemed to lose some of her glow after she’d gotten sick. Who could blame her? So, he sat in a corner booth across from her and asked her about baseball.
“You are a crazy massive fan of baseball,” he said, taking a sip of his sweet tea. He needed something to cool him down but it wasn’t the heat in the city that had him on fire. It was Cici.
Her hair kept curling around her face and she tucked the same strand behind her ear repeatedly. That strand. It had been soft and silky to the touch. Just like her lips. He wanted to kiss her again but he was being cool. She’d worn contacts today and he noticed how pretty her eyes were.
But he was honoring her desire for them to be friends. Plus, he knew she needed more from him than just full on guy hormones. She needed comfort and to feel normal. He’d not been around pregnant women much. One of his sisters at the Fillions’ foster home had a baby last year but she lived in Florida now with her husband so he hadn’t seen her while she’d been expecting.
Just from watching Cici, he noticed how much it drained her. She’d been pale when she’d come out of the bathroom and shaken. The way she’d hugged him…she needed him.
No one had ever really needed him. He volunteered, of course, and he knew the kids he was a big brother to really appreciated it, but he had never felt as needed with them as he had with Cici this afternoon. This had felt more personal.
“I am a pretty intense fan when it comes to the Red Sox,” she admitted. “One year I went to spring training.”
“Just one year?” he asked with a wink. “How can you call yourself a massive fan?”
“Alright smarty, how many spring training games have you been to?” she asked.
“One. And that was just because my sister had a new baby and we all went to Florida,” he explained.
“Sister? I thought you were adopted. Did your parents…what happened with your parents?” she asked, reaching onto his plate and stealing a fry.
“Lisa is my sister but we aren’t biological siblings. She and I grew up in the same home…the Fillions. Did I tell you about them?”
“No. What happened to your folks?” she asked. “If I’m being too nosey just tell me to mind my own business. I think it’s a side effect of hanging out with Iona all the time.”
He rubbed his hand over his chest. His real parents. People always wanted to know about them. And frankly, he wanted to as well. “I have no idea. Near as anyone can figure, my mom was a teenager who gave birth…” he shrugged, “somewhere…and then dropped me off at the hospital and kept on trucking. Never gave me a name or anything.”
She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. She laced their fingers together and she squeezed gently. “I’m sorry. I never knew my dad either, so I can sort of understand not knowing.”
“It’s more than that,” he admitted. But they were on a date and he didn’t want to get into how he’d felt unworthy for so many years. He was better now; he knew that the problem was hers and not anything to do with him. But there were times when he wished he could meet her and show her what she’d walked away from.
“I can’t even begin to imagine,” she said. “How did you get your name?”
“The center she dropped me off at was on Hooper Street,” he said. “And one of the nurses thought I looked like a Jason. They had to fill in the paperwork. When I was a cop I went to investigate and found out about all the legalities involved. It’s how I decided to switch to being a lawyer.”
He took another sip of his sweet tea but it tasted too cloying now and he set it aside. Talking about his past always left him feeling…well, odd. That was the only word for it.
“I’ve reached out to one of my coworkers about your case and if you have time next week, I’d love for you to stop by the office and meet with her. Then you can get the paperwork started to send them to your…I don’t know what to call him.”
Cici blushed. “Baby daddy? Sperm donor?”
“No. That’s not it,” he said. “Mr. Maguire.”
“Once he signs the papers then you’ll be protected and to be honest, he will be too. That way you can’t go back to him and demand anything from him.”
“I would never do that,” Cici said.
“I know. But it will give him peace of mind and make him more amenable to signing the papers,” Hoop said. He’d handled a lot of cases like hers and knew that having a binding contract wasn’t always enough but it gave each party some peace of mind. He wanted to make sure that Cici was protected.
“Good. I just want that done,” she said. “I think once this is settled, well I can really start to figure out things for the baby.”
“Like what?” he asked. He didn’t know what a child would need or what a single mom would. Seeing Cici on her own made him wonder if his own mother had been like this. Did she have a friend to talk to? He’d never know. He knew that but it stirred questions all the same.
“Like the nursery colors and theme…and then I have to find a preschool and get on the waiting list,” she said.
“You haven’t even given birth yet,” he said, but he knew from one of his co-workers who was struggling to get their kids into the right school how hard it was.
“You have no idea about all the things that I have to decide,” she said.
“On your own?” he asked softly.
“I haven’t told my mom and stepdad yet. I mean Hayley and Iona have been great but this kind of thing is definitely something I have to figure out.”
“I can ask around at my office and get a list of the best schools,” he said. “Maybe see if someone can write a letter of recommendation for you.”
“You’d do that?” she asked.
“Yes. We’re friends. You’re going to need lots of them,” he said.
She took another sip of her water, finally getting full. She leaned back against the seat and watched Hoop. The kiss…she’d been ignoring it since they’d left the ballpark because she wanted to focus on friendship but he’d stirred something deep inside of her. Something she thought would be dormant now that she was expecting. And that her life was up in the air.
But it wasn’t.
“You okay?”
“Yes,” she said, wishing he hadn’t caught her staring at him. “I was just thinking how I need to build up a network of other parents. I remember when I was young, before my mom met Steven, my stepdad, how alone we were.”
“That’s not going to happen to you,” he said.
“No, it’s not. I always thought when I had a kid I’d be more sensible about the planning. My dad was in special forces and so his job was dangerous…I mean I know they couldn’t have guessed he’d be killed but I just thought, if I was smart about it, then I could do it right.”
“Right?” he asked. “I’m not sure I’m following.”
“Just that I’d find a guy and have kids with him and we’d both raise them. No divorce or risky jobs. That way the kids could grow up in a house where they knew they were loved.”
Cici realized how that sounded. That maybe she’d said too much. “Sorry about that. I think all the food is going to my head. This place is great.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, arching one eyebrow over at her. “It is great. Was that your way of saying you’d had enough of the conversation?”
“Yes,” she said. She didn’t want to think about the fact that her child was going to want to know who their father was at some point. And she’d have to tell them about Rich not wanting to be a part of their life. God, that was going to be hard. When she met with Hoop’s lawyer friend maybe she’d ask if there was a provision they could put in just in case the child wanted to meet him.
“Fair enough,” he said. “What do you want to do now?”
“I think I’m ready to head home,” she said. She had a lot to think about. And she wanted to try to forget the kiss they’d shared. It had been incredible. “The game was a lot of fun. I wish I hadn’t gotten sick.”
“Me too. But that’s to be expected. You seem better now,” he said. “I’m glad. Do you know how long morning sickness lasts? I think with my sister she had it for four months.”
“The book said each expectant mother is different,” Cici said. She’d gone to a few websites as well and her doctor had told her once she relaxed and learned to listen to the changes in her body it would help. “I really hope it ends soon.”
“I bet,” he said. He signaled the waiter for the bill.
She reached for her wallet and he cleared his throat.
“What?”
“I know you are not going to try to pay for lunch,” he said.
“What if I was?” she asked. She always paid her own way. She had already calculated the cost of her portion and the tip.
“It’s a date, Cici. That means lunch is on me.”
“It’s the twenty-first century, Hoop, a woman can pay,” she said, though she knew she was needling him. She thought it was nice when a guy paid after asking her out.
“Well I’m old fashioned that way,” he said.
“What other ways are you old fashioned?” she asked. “You wanted to pick me up at my place. That sort of thing?”
“I guess. Just seems polite to pick you up from your place. You know how I told you I was in trouble a lot as a teenager?”
“Yes.”
“Well I spent a lot of time reading books and I picked up some things that…I don’t know, I guess resonated with the kind of man I wanted to be. You know Mr. Fillion, my pops, influenced me when I got to their house but before that I had to find my own male role model.”
She wanted to find the little boy inside of him and give him a hug. He’d struggled growing up and she reminded herself that she didn’t want her child to have to go through that. “Is that why you volunteer with Big Brother?”
“Partially. We all need to know we have someone to reach out to,” he said, handing his credit card to the waiter.
She waited until the waiter had gone because not everything that was said between them needed a witness. And she liked letting him stew for a few minutes.
“But we can talk more about that on our next date,” he said.
“What makes you think we’ll have a second date?”
“This one went pretty well,” he said, “And you like me.”
He held his hand out to help her from the bench and she shook her head as she followed him out the door. She did like him.
Chapter 5 (#uff7ccf9f-610b-51d0-a31e-3f56cebe8f93)
Three days later and she still hadn’t really heard from Hoop. She’d gone to his offices and met the lawyer he’d recommended and had sort of hoped to see him there. But he hadn’t been. In retrospect she got that. Her legal matter wasn’t something that he should be involved in.
He was giving her space…letting her set the tone of their relationship. He had suggested a second date though.
And…
Nothing.
She had her new routine…work, get sick, worry about how to tell her parents she was pregnant. She knew her stepdad would be disappointed but then she felt like she hadn’t done anything to please him in years.
She rubbed the back of her neck and sat back in her chair. Staring at the screen on her large monitor and hoping for an answer. She wanted to make a decision matrix, though she hadn’t used one since deciding to go in with Iona and Hayley to open the Candied Apple & Cafe.
Her door, which had been shut, but not tightly closed, was nudged open and the jingle of Lucy’s collar alerted her to the fact that Hayley’s rescue dachshund was on the move. She glanced to her left and saw the small dog looking up at her, tail wagging.
“What do you want?” she asked in the singsong voice she always used with kids and pets.
The dog went up on her back legs and motioned with her front paws up and down. Cici shook her head and turned her chair to the little dog who went down on all fours, wagging her tale as she inched closer to Cici’s feet.
Cici picked Lucy up and the dog put her front paws on Cici’s chest, licking her chin. She rubbed her hands up and down the dog’s back, petting her.
If only it were as easy to make people this happy.
Her message app on the computer pinged and she reached around the dog to click on the icon to open it up. Lucy circled three times and then plunked down on Cici’s lap.
The message was a group text from Iona to her and Hayley.
Iona: Lunch, Bryant Park, 30 minutes. No excuses.
Hayley: I need 45 minutes to finish the candy I’m working on.
Cici: I can come early. Lucy is with me. Okay to bring her?
Hayley: So that’s where that little scamp got. She was sleeping in her bed.
Iona: So see you in 30, Cici?
Cici: Yes.
She closed the text app and put her computer in sleep mode before going to collect Lucy’s leash, collapsible water bowl and treats from Hayley.
“I’m so jealous that you are leaving now,” Hayley said. “I need a break.”
“You okay?”
Hayley shrugged. Her blonde hair was now hitting the back of her neck and she’d tucked it behind her ear. “I’m grumpy today.”
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you at lunch. Don’t talk too much until I get there,” Hayley said, hugging her.
“We won’t,” Cici promised.
She left the shop from the back and walked up the alley to Fifth Avenue. She stopped for a minute, tipping her head back to look at the buildings. The walk to Bryant Park from their Fifth Avenue location would take about twenty-five minutes, so she wasn’t in too much of a hurry. She started up Fifth to Madison Square Park. The summery day was warm and being out and walking was doing wonders for her state of mind. She swapped her glasses for prescription sunglasses. Lucy generated a lot of smiles from passersby and the little dog always stopped to allow anyone who showed an interest in her to pet her. At the park, Cici gave her a little bit of water while she drank from the bottle of strawberry infused water she had in her bag.
She took a deep breath. The City smelled…well, like a big city. Here in the park it was fragrant with lush greenery but the underlying smell of industry was in the air as well. She stood there and realized how much time she’d spent worrying over the last few months and that she should let it go.
She needed to stop thinking she could change anything. She never had been able to. She wasn’t going to be the person who made the “right choices” whatever they were, because that wasn’t who she was. She followed her gut and that had sometimes led her into trouble but it had also resulted in some of her best choices. The Candied Apple & Cafe was one. This baby was going to be another one.
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