No One Cancels Christmas: The most laugh out loud romantic comedy this Christmas!
Zara Stoneley
You’ve fallen in love with One Day in December now escape to the snowy Canadian Rockies and meet Sarah and Will in this gorgeous Christmas romance…’Tis the season to behave badly…From the USA Today bestselling author of The Wedding Date! It’s the most magical time of the year, and for travel agent Sarah it’s also the busiest! But this year one man threatens to ruin Christmas for Sarah’s customers – Mr Grinch, Will Armstrong.The Shooting Star Mountain resort is a magical place, and Sarah has fond memories of Christmas here as a little girl. But as the resorts new owner, Will refuses to play snowball or to deck the halls with anything remotely resembling jolly!With customers complaining their Christmas is ruined, Sarah decides it’s up to her to convince gorgeous but Scroogey Will just how magical Christmas can be…Readers love Zara’s previous book, The Wedding Date:‘All the fun, love and laughter of a real wedding–but without having to buy a new dress!' Debbie Johnson'The best date I have ever been on…my most favourite book of 2018' Kaisha, The Writing Garnet‘Full of laugh out loud moments’ Sunday Times bestseller Heidi Swain‘The rom com date of the year’ Phillipa Ashley‘This book made me smile from beginning to end, every girl needs a Jake rooting for them’ Jules Wake‘Lovely, warm and witty’ Tilly Tennant‘Makes you laugh out loud, feel joyfully tearful and believe in happy ever afters…I loved it’ Cressida McLaughlin‘A terrific summer romp’ Bella Osborne‘Beautifully charming, deliciously sweet but with an unexpected bite! I loved it!’ Jo Robertson, My Chestnut Reading Tree‘As frothy as a wedding gown and as full of fizz as the very best bubbly’ Emma Reid, Screenwipe‘Has everything I look for in a romantic comedy – romance, comedy, gorgeous man…pure, enjoyable escapism’ Rachel Random Reads
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First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2018
Copyright © Zara Stoneley 2018
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to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue record for this book is
available from the British Library
This novel is entirely a work of fiction.
The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are
the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is
entirely coincidental.
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Source ISBN: 9780008301057
Ebook Edition © April 2018 ISBN: 9780008301040
Version: 2018-10-26
Table of Contents
Cover (#ue7d4bd13-b501-5679-bdcc-fa98f9649f0f)
Title Page (#u6200461d-28e6-5bf8-b460-6473330d162a)
Copyright (#u1856efdc-608d-520b-89dc-4430b0e30f86)
Dedication (#ufb01e885-c257-5e3e-a66f-c9bebd36a781)
Author Note (#ua21726e4-5dc7-5073-80b7-48a33dbad9ba)
Part One – Tantrums and Tinsel (#u98a0fe60-05fd-5fbd-9819-c8f24d5d0860)
Chapter 1 (#ud93b7b75-5c06-582f-a94c-ae767b4d7809)
Chapter 2 (#u12edb5fd-e401-5af1-a8b1-8c870b2e3404)
Chapter 3 (#u2da97333-e32f-5053-bddf-d325424d4051)
Chapter 4 (#u96878431-0ab5-50bc-8461-114e1895712c)
Chapter 5 (#uf21136b5-dfdf-5ab9-ba97-456a70a572fe)
Chapter 6 (#ufd44af36-d1f0-5707-a750-ded2d085032b)
Chapter 7 (#ube0a30f5-c399-58bd-ac45-db4adc9899b7)
Chapter 8 (#ud66ad7a7-8e9c-5316-b3d2-6bcdbf60ef1c)
Part Two – Desperately Seeking Santa (#ua7930f78-c5e2-5542-8acb-b22b041d1016)
Chapter 9 (#uacf3359b-13a3-55bb-82ed-1dcaf8c0416b)
Chapter 10 (#u7abafe93-c3e7-5d04-8554-509d5c7b230a)
Chapter 11 (#u7e5856cd-d04e-5dd7-b05f-e907383a34e3)
Chapter 12 (#u5fead019-47b4-5a09-ad5f-1ae6a1c8842b)
Chapter 13 (#u8ccd1ee2-5386-5ced-a9ae-65a9f997dc61)
Chapter 14 (#uec164084-6cfb-5f09-9508-e569b66cb922)
Chapter 15 (#ue7ea7343-6e29-57a6-8964-185763413883)
Chapter 16 (#ua44f52c9-f782-5fb9-947f-f5751dbfc06f)
Chapter 17 (#u6824a08f-e09a-5b9d-b0b0-3a946f593aee)
Chapter 18 (#u259d0eaa-1137-5a63-8139-5f2b73260ebd)
Chapter 19 (#u84709567-88fe-5af2-a5f6-dabf91a0d97b)
Chapter 20 (#u122b749d-a0f5-58dc-9c8b-8df03376a208)
Chapter 21 (#u2315209e-3ad2-56b1-87cb-a79c917dca6e)
Chapter 22 (#u0917644f-ad7a-5c77-875d-5451f23bbefa)
Chapter 23 (#ud6f05053-817c-529a-9c41-f2fa7f2273d5)
Chapter 24 (#u12e00d32-6d30-5bcd-adbf-41f3902976d7)
Chapter 25 (#u1d7ce5fb-54ef-5b39-803b-216ebdf85ae0)
Chapter 26 (#u672c1b26-0183-518b-b9aa-f5c4dff70e51)
Chapter 27 (#u10c5757e-a8be-59f9-9209-e2677fdeee5b)
Chapter 28 (#ubf51f8e0-a665-5e2f-855b-2d1710cee43d)
Chapter 29 (#u66166e41-f6e8-59cc-9ab9-e6338e8a075e)
Chapter 30 (#ue8465c0c-5382-55b9-b39c-f779839a93c7)
Part Three – Coming Home (#u66166e41-f6e8-59cc-9ab9-e6338e8a075e)
Chapter 31 (#u6a6ae895-aab8-57b6-a4ef-9c2521969912)
Chapter 32 (#u52774b8a-31a7-514c-9b7b-cd3bb287fdc2)
Acknowledgements (#ub5f6e5b9-bc0f-5b68-9a7d-00c71dc2e16f)
Also by Zara Stoneley (#u2c156bdb-2519-56a4-be91-db3924e1c3bf)
About the Author (#u2006d991-6b37-5ffd-9f22-7ae7b2600594)
About HarperImpulse (#u0eadf297-a54b-544a-ae98-2e3d6323ac0e)
About the Publisher (#uc48544c5-2978-52ec-ba49-4ffdfa06618b)
For my lovely sister Lynn,
who is every bit as generous and kind as her namesake in the story.
Thank you so much for picking up a copy of this book. I hope it makes you smile, laugh, maybe shed a tear, and ultimately feel that warm and fuzzy festive feeling.
Like Sarah, in the story, I love everything about Christmas, but the best part of all is being able to share the season with my family and friends. There’s always that slightly sad moment when I think about the people who are no longer here to share it with – but I know I’m very lucky to be surrounded by so many special people.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, wherever you are and whoever you share it with.
Zara x
Part 1 (#ucefb588b-1082-593c-8ff5-1816e3852bf8)
Chapter 1 (#ucefb588b-1082-593c-8ff5-1816e3852bf8)
Dear Ms Hall,
I am not normally the type to complain, but (anybody who says this usually is the type to complain, and the but confirms it) on this occasion I feel compelled.
Over the years we have booked many holidays through your travel agency, and your aunt has always made sure we have had the very best. We have even swapped Christmas cards!
‘And whilst I do not wish to place the blame at your door. . . Ouch! Bloody hell, talk about passive aggressive.’ The voice in my ear makes me jump.
‘Don’t read it out, Sam! It’s bad enough just reading it in my head. Anyway, I thought you were busy booking that cruise for the Nifty Fifty’s Gin Drinkers Association?’
‘I was, but you’ve just ripped that drink coaster into shreds, so I reckoned something was up.’
‘It’s that bloody Will Armstrong again, at the Shooting Star Mountain Resort – I want to strangle him!’ We don’t often get customer complaints, but this particular destination, and its grumpy owner, have been attracting a fair few lately. And this particular complaint hurts more than most because it suggests I’m the one at fault, and I’m not. ‘He’s not happy just sabotaging his own bloody business, he wants to drag us down with him.’
‘Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad. This guy can’t actually damage Making Memories, can he?’
I stab at the screen but can’t trust myself to speak.
‘. . . we find ourselves at a loss at to why you should recommend The Shooting Star Mountain Resort, as it is very clearly overpriced and understaffed. Lynn has always ensured we have value for money, and a fantastic holiday to boot.’
‘To boot?’ Sam interrupts her reading. ‘Who says to boot?’
‘Somebody who isn’t happy at all. Keep reading.’
She does. Out loud, in an ‘irate of the Home Counties’ kind of way.
‘You sound a bit like your mum.’
She ignores me.
‘Quite frankly, our room was disgusting. The sheets whilst clean were unironed.’ Sam pauses again, mid outrage. ‘Unironed? What’s the man talking about? I can’t see how that makes it disgusting, can you? I never iron the sheets; it’s like socks or knickers, who has time to iron things that nobody else ever sees? Do you iron sheets?’
‘Doesn’t Jake see your sheets? And the other bits as well?’
‘Well, yes, but I mean, the wrinkles stretch out, don’t they?’
‘I iron everything. I always find crisp, flat knickers with a seam down the centre hold a certain sexy appeal.’
She stares at me, her mouth open.
I burst out laughing. ‘God, Sam, do you honestly think I iron anything? I was kidding. Carry on.’
She gives me a funny look, then clears her throat. ‘You don’t really iron knickers, do you?’
‘No, I really don’t. Come on, before somebody comes in.’
‘The food was of variable quality and lukewarm. The final straw was speaking to the manager, who was abrupt and surly to the point of rudeness and suggested we vacate our cabin if we were not enjoying our stay. How could we possibly enjoy our stay when one of his vicious huskies had attacked our daughter, Ruby? I am sure she will suffer long-term consequences as a result, and now screams whenever a dog (including our own little Pippin, who wouldn’t hurt a fly) approaches her. Little Pippin bit my wife as a result of Ruby’s scream, and is now having to undergo veterinary visits as she is now nervous and snappy, and Ruby is booked in for counselling. My wife, meanwhile, has a bandaged hand which makes playing the piano extremely tortuous – and she is a music teacher!’
‘I have always trusted your recommendations, but am wondering if your lack of experience—’
I squeak as she reads out this sentence, I can’t help myself. Sam and I stare at each other. ‘Lack of experience! I don’t know who I hate more, him or Will Armstrong.’
‘. . . is becoming evident.’
‘As we were unable to book an early flight back, and the nearby hotels were all fully booked, we had to endure the rest of our holiday under a heavy cloud and an even heavier blanket as the heating was woefully inadequate.’
‘Well, at least he gave them blankets!’
Sam always picks up on the positives. I roll my eyes, and gesture at the screen.
‘I am sure that ABTA and Watchdog would be more than happy to investigate my complaints. However, in a spirit of goodwill, I would like to give you the opportunity to offer us a full refund and compensation for the stress this has caused. Please find, itemised below, additional expenses incurred.’
‘I look forward to hearing from you by return post. If I receive no response within 7 working days I will instruct my solicitor.’
‘Yours faithfully,’
‘Stephen Latterby’
‘Blah, blah, blah.’ Sam’s dropped the ‘outraged of Basildon’ voice. ‘Shit, look at that Sarah!’ I look and wish I hadn’t. ‘Is that how much a dog psychologist charges? Wow, I think I need to retrain.’
‘Sam! Just look at that total he’s asking for!’ I feel slightly sick, and faint. ‘We can’t pay that, we’ll be bankrupt. Lynn will kill me!’
‘But it isn’t your fault. I’m going to pop across to Costa and get us a drink and chocolate brownie, this calls for a caffeine and sugar boost. Don’t do anything until I get back.’ She raises an eyebrow at me. ‘I mean it. Promise.’
‘Anything?’
‘Well you can breathe and stuff, but please don’t reply to that email. You need to think about this carefully.’ She knows how impulsive I can be. ‘And talk to Lynn. I mean, what if this guy does actually sue us? I’ll never hear the last of this from Mum if we end up on Watchdog.’
We do the staring at each other thing again. She’s probably thinking about dog psychology. I’m thinking about how much damage you can inflict on somebody without being arrested.
‘I won’t reply.’ Which leaves things nicely open. It doesn’t stop me firing both barrels at Mr Will Armstrong.
This is getting way more serious than advising him to stick some holly up and light the fires (which I have done several times – and been ignored).
I roll up my sleeves. Whatever this guy’s game is, he is not going to drag us down with him. If there’s any suing to be done it will be us, not Mr Latterby, or any of our other disgruntled customers.
We need to be seen to be acting. I glance at the photograph of Aunt Lynn on the wall. She looks happy, she looks inspiring, she looks like we all want to feel after a good holiday. We need to show we care.
Dear Mr Armstrong,
Please find attached a letter we have received from a valued customer.
What do I do now? I google the Dangerous Dogs Act.
I would like to draw your attention to the paragraph concerning your dog. I would be grateful if you could forward your risk assessment regarding the use of these animals. My understanding is that any dangerous dog should be muzzled, and that any contact should be supervised. It would appear, in this case, that neither applied, and this is of great concern as we (as do you) have a duty of care to our clients, and we would not expect dangerous animals to be roaming loose and unattended.
Secondly, our client has expressed concerns about the state of their cabin, and the quality of food served. I would like to refer you to the description in your brochure (and accompanying photographs) which promises ‘cosy and comfortable accommodation, roaring fires and a restaurant offering food and drink that will round off the perfect day’.
Finally, I am concerned about the attitude of staff at the resort. They have, in the past, always been warm and welcoming, but our client complains of rudeness. Your service reflects on ours and I feel that our business relationship is now reaching the stage of being untenable.
This is an extremely serious situation, and I would be grateful if you could respond as soon as possible, before I am forced to take legal advice.
Kind regards,
Sarah Hall
Making Memories, Travel Agents
I hit ‘send’ and stare out of the window. Now what? Will Armstrong never replies to my emails, not even the jokey ‘let’s sort this together’ ones. So why should he respond to a complaint like this? Maybe Sam is right, maybe I need to call Aunt Lynn. But I don’t want to, not this time. I need to handle this.
There is a ping, incoming email. My God, it’s from Shooting Star! Hell, if he’s replied that means this really is serious, that he agrees we need to take action. Oh bugger, we’re going to be ruined. Aunt Lynn will never forgive me.
Dear Ms Hall,
I do feel you are overreacting slightly. The Latterby family have no grounds for taking you to court or demanding a full refund for themselves or their dog (who quite frankly probably does need psychological support if this is what he has to put up with on a daily basis). At the risk of sounding unprofessional, I would classify Mr Latterby as a habitual complainer with over-inflated expectations.
Our husky, Rosie, was in her run at the time of the incident you mention. The Latterby’s child had insisted on going down and feeding the dogs table scraps (of the variable-quality, lukewarm variety) despite clear signage forbidding this, and further signage requesting that no visitors enter the area where the dogs are kennelled without a member of staff.
Rosie, who has recently had puppies, reacted to the intrusion by jumping at the fence and the Latterby child slipped, falling on her well-padded posterior and screaming the place down. No blood was spilled, although I was very tempted to rectify that, as the welfare of our animals is important to me.
As far as rudeness goes, it is hard to remain civil when in the company of clients whose expectations stretch to spa facilities and fine-dining when our brochures and website illustrate very clearly that this is not what is on offer. Further, if they come to Canada in the winter, are icy conditions not to be expected? Much as I would like to play God, I am unfortunately not in a position to alter the weather conditions.
I suggest you use your tact, diplomacy and people skills to suggest they head ‘Down Under’ next year. I am not prepared to offer any compensation or discount but can give you the name of a good solicitor if you so require.
Is that serious enough for you?
Regards,
Will Armstrong
‘Oh my God, what is he like?’
I hadn’t heard Sam sneak back in.
I’m not quite sure how to answer, as I really can’t decide what he’s like. ‘He doesn’t seem to get it at all.’
‘Well, he does seem to care about the dogs.’
‘I know.’ This bit makes me unhappy, not because he cares (who doesn’t like a man who loves and protects his pets?), but because he doesn’t seem to have a clue about where he’s going wrong. ‘But he’s not got the first idea about customer service, has he? I mean, I know clients can be a pain in the arse—’
‘You’re telling me.’ Sam rolls her eyes.
‘But he’s working in the service industry. Even if this complaint is a load of tosh,’ which I suspect it might be, ‘and this guy is pushing his luck, he still does have at least some grounds for complaints doesn’t he? I mean look at the reviews . . .’
‘It’s not me you have to convince, Sare.’
‘I know.’ I groan. ‘Maybe I should just send some of them his way, but I think he’ll bin them before he even reads them, let alone do anything constructive.’ Will is doing my head in, in a way he shouldn’t. He obviously does care about some things, and he does have a point. ‘Maybe he does get pissed off when people arrive expecting spa pampering treatments and ten different variety of gin, but why can’t he see it’s the little things that can make a difference? And,’ I wipe a hand over my eyes, suddenly feeling weary, ‘he doesn’t see what he’s doing to us. Does he? He could wipe our business out! And,’ I stare at the email, ‘he could at least be civil.’
‘Well, he does sound pissed off, but it’s not exactly rude, is it? More frustrated? Or just assertive. Maybe he’s not used to getting it wrong.’ Sam squeezes my shoulder, and hands me a coffee and a massive blueberry muffin. ‘I wouldn’t want to mess with him, would you?’
‘I’ve got a horrible feeling I’ve got no choice.’ Maybe, when you’ve got a pissed-off man, who thinks he’s always in the right, then the only way to tackle him is head on and show him the error of his ways.
Chapter 2 (#ulink_0fc55806-3d82-5a4b-937c-5d18ab563705)
Dear Mr Armstrong,
It is with regret that I am emailing to inform you that you really are the proverbial pain in the arse. Burying your head in the sand isn’t big and it isn’t clever. If you really are the Anti-Christmas then go ahead and ruin your own Christmas, but grow a pair and think about other people for once. Ditch the attitude, mate. You’re happy to take our clients’ money, so forget your ‘bah humbug’ – deck your flaming halls with jolly holly and answer my frigging emails!
Love and festive kisses, Sarah xxx
Making Memories, Travel Agents
I hit the final ‘x’ with a flourish and sit back. My hand makes contact with something soft and squishy that shouldn’t be there, and there’s a yelp.
‘Ouch!’ Sam has her hand over her nose, and a pained expression on her face.
‘What on earth are you doing, peering over my shoulder?’
She ignores the question and starts to rub her nose, which makes her words come out all funny. ‘You can’t send that, Sarah!’
‘Why not? I’m starting to hate the man.’ Following hot on the heels of the threat of legal action yesterday, I have arrived at work to a second disaster. Will Armstrong might not have been prepared to take me seriously yesterday, but I want to make sure he will today. Even if my approach is not quite as professional as it should be.
‘But you still can’t—’
‘You think I should have put ass instead of arse? Is arse too British? I was a bit worried about that bit.’
‘Bloody hell, Sarah. You can’t say arse or ass. What would Lynn say? Delete it! All of it! Now!’ She’s gone a bit squeaky.
‘Stop pulling my wheelie chair.’ I hang on to the edge of the desk by my fingertips. If I let go now I might whizz across the office and end up in the potted plant. It’s happened before. ‘Do you think it’s too much?’
‘Far too much.’ She’s given up on trying to move me away from my desk and is nodding her head vigorously and rubbing her nose at the same time.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Sure.’ It comes out as ‘dure’. ‘I was fine until you threw your arms out in a finale and hit me in the face with your elbow.’
‘Did I?’
‘You always fling your arms about when you’re pleased with yourself.’
‘Do I?’ I’m pretty sure I don’t, but as I’ve just squashed my best mate’s nose it doesn’t seem the right time to argue about it. ‘But you were snooping. You get more like your mum every day!’ I love Sam’s mum, and she knows I do. But we both know that Ruth is a total expert when it comes to creeping up like a ninja, so she can listen in on private stuff.
‘No, I do not! She listens to stuff that’s none of her business. This is my business. This is work, and you can’t send that. What the hell has happened now?’
She’s right. This is work. She’s also probably got a good point as far as the email goes.
‘You’re right. And there are too many kisses, I hardly know the man.’ I delete one and am careful not to throw my arms in the air. ‘Not through want of trying, mind you. We’d have a flourishing relationship by now if he replied to my calls; instead I can’t even get past first base. Idiot.’
Sam giggles and backs off to her own desk so there’s a safe arm’s-length distance between us. ‘Very funny, but you know I didn’t mean that!’
Even though she’s known me a few years now, Sam, my best friend and lovely workmate, takes me far too seriously. She’s gullible. Or wise. It could be that she’s actually very, very wise and knows that my twitchy fingertips are actually dying to hit ‘send’ on this email, even though it might look like I’m just messing around.
What she doesn’t know is why he’s upset me so much. I’m trying to be cool about this, to laugh it off, but inside it hurts. Inside it feels like a little bit of me is being destroyed, and last night in bed I decided I wasn’t going to let him, a complete stranger, do this to me. To us.
Sam pushes a packet of Hobnobs in my direction. ‘He’s probably scared of you.’
I realise I’m clenching my teeth. It’s what I do when I’m upset. My shrink said it’s important not to do that when I talk, or it will make me sound angry. She also said it’s better to express how I feel. So how does that work? I feel angry, I’m expressing it through clenched teeth. I’m beginning to think most of what she said was bollocks.
I take a deep breath and unclench everything, then take my frustration out on a crunchy biscuit. ‘I am not scary. Real men appreciate the direct approach.’ I try and blow the crumbs out of the keyboard. The letter ‘T’ is already a bit dodgy; if this ruins W and A I’ll have lost one of my favourite words.
‘He might actually be quite nice. I’m going to look on their website. What’s he called again?’ Sam pokes me in the ribs when I don’t immediately answer.
‘Armstrong.’
‘Armstrong, what?’
‘William.’ I sigh, I can’t help myself.
Sam swings round on her chair so she’s facing her own computer again and does some rapid key-tapping.
It stops, and I’m pretty sure I know what’s coming next.
‘Oh wow. He’s . . .’ She pauses, her head tilted as she stares at the screen. Then rests her chin on her hand. There’s a long silence.
‘I can tell you’re struggling.’
‘No, I’m not.’ She flashes me her best headmistressy stare. ‘Have you seen him? I mean look! If I didn’t already have Jake I would be straight over there myself, to hell with crap reviews about his place. Look!’
‘I’ve seen.’ I try and act bored, but the truth is I’ve looked at William Armstrong’s photograph more than once. The man confuses me, because when I first rang him (after seeing that photo on the resort website) I thought he’d be nice, charming. But he wasn’t. He was curt, rude, and muttered something that sounded like ‘I’m going to string him up by his baubles for this’ before putting the phone down on me.
‘But he does look quite sexy, admit it.’
‘Are you for real?’ I’m not going to admit it, even though he does have a certain something about him. ‘Not my type I’m afraid.’
‘Aw, come on, he’s not that different to that guy you went out with before Callum.’
I roll my eyes. ‘Exactly. He looks a lightweight.’ I stare at the image. ‘And smug, like he thinks a lot of himself.’ That guy before Callum spent a hell of a lot of time staring at himself in the mirror and it’s kind of put me off the well-groomed look. I mean, have you ever known a man to be checking himself out while you’re having sex?
I thought he was reciting the alphabet backwards in his head or something, to try and delay the inevitable; turned out he was checking out if his hair gel was holding up. That was it for me. End of.
‘He’s good-looking, so cute!’
‘And he knows it.’
‘Rubbish, how can you tell that from a photo? He reminds me of that guy in The Mentalist.’ She’s staring at her screen and has moved in closer, as though she’s going to start licking it any moment.
‘Mental’s the right word. Who are you talking about now?’
‘You know, I know you do. What’s he called?’ She does some more googling. ‘There you go, Simon Baker. All twinkly-eyed and cute, but a bit naughty.’ We both stare at the images.
‘Pfft.’
‘He’s cute.’ I think she’s back to our Mr Armstrong now, but who knows? ‘Look at those dimples. I bet he’s fun.’ I don’t know which set of dimples she’s going on about, but it doesn’t matter.
‘I am not interested in his dimples, or his cuteness. He is duplicitous.’
‘That’s a very long word.’ I can tell by Sam’s twitching fingers that the online dictionary is about to get interrogated, so I pull her and her wheelie chair away from the desk. Very handy these chairs, a good investment.
‘Well, he is.’ I can’t believe that somebody could portray themselves as so – well, fun and carefree, when in fact they’re rude and curt. ‘His face contravenes the Trade Descriptions Act.’
‘His face?’
‘His face. He is definitely not nice, however cute he looks in that picture. In fact, I bet that’s not even him, or it was taken years ago, and he’s gone all mean and bitter in his old age.’
‘Maybe he’s having a mid-life crisis and realises that his life is meaningless.’ Sam sighs, rests her chin on one hand again and reaches for another biscuit with the other. I roll my eyes. Not at the biscuit, but her fantasy.
‘Running a business is not meaningless.’
‘It is if you always wanted to swim with dolphins, or ride a camel, or drive to Monte Carlo in a Ferrari.’
‘Sam, that’s your bucket list, not his. Do you honestly think he looks like he wants to swim with dolphins?’
‘Maybe not, but you don’t know, do you?’
‘And I don’t care, to be honest. Look, he is taking our clients’ money, giving them a shit Christmas in return, and refuses to talk to me about it properly.’ I don’t know what annoys me most, the fact that he’s totally, single-handedly, ruined what used to be our most popular festive location, or the fact that he is refusing to take my calls, to discuss it. ‘Whatever happened to the customer is always right? He’s just plain rude.’
We’re on the build-up to the festive season, and it’s not just the nasty email that came yesterday: bookings at the Shooting Star Mountain Resort are spinning into reverse. Which is so not how it should be. I mean, it should be the perfect place to spend Christmas. Crackling log fires, massive mug of hot chocolate, sled rides with a pack of huskies and some ho ho ho from Santa as you shove carrots at his real-life reindeer. Not to mention all that après-ski to warm you up after a day rolling about in the snow (I can’t ski, all I can do is roll and face-plant).
‘It should be fan-bloody-tastic. The brochure and website make it look like total magic.’
‘Maybe they’re a bit out of date?’ Sam is looking worried. And I was beginning to think the same. ‘But you don’t need to send him an email like that.’
‘I flaming do! It’s not just that Latterby guy threatening to sue, it’s worse. You know the Wilsons who came in the other day?’
‘Oh yeah, they were lovely. They were so excited about going even though it’s nowhere near Christmas yet, and they were SO loved up.’ Sam has got that dreamy look on her face. She’s pretty loved up herself, with the lovely Jake, and I think she’s subconsciously started to plan the wedding of the decade. ‘Getting married in a winter wonderland, can you imagine?’
I can imagine. ‘Wedding in a Winter Wonderland’ was already on a mental poster I was going to stick in the window after they’d sent me some of the photos. They’d be swathed in rugs, surrounded by presents on the prettiest reindeer-pulled-sledge imaginable. Kissing. All the best bits of Christmas and weddings rolled into one.
They’d be curled up together in front of a roaring log fire, sipping a shared hot chocolate as the snow fell softly outside, and the whole scene would be bathed in candlelight that bounced off the bauble and tinsel-laden Christmas tree.
And they’d be surrounded by friends and family, swapping presents, then gathered round a food-laden table as they tucked into a mammoth Christmas dinner that had absolutely everything. Even the bits you don’t like.
‘Well.’ I blink, and the image disappears. ‘They’re not.’
‘What do you mean, not? They were so perfect together, he was—’
‘Oh, the wedding is still on, just not at Shooting Star. They cancelled first thing and have already rebooked at another resort online.’
‘What?’
‘This.’ I switch screens on the computer and open the video link they sent me. ‘Matt Wilson was looking at reviews and found this online on The Worst Christmas Ever blog. It’s from last Christmas.’
It’s quite a professional video, actually, with captions and music, specifically ‘Do they know it’s Christmas?’, which says it all.
I have already watched it several times; it’s like one of those horror films that you know is going to scare you to death, but you can’t help yourself. You have to see it, even though you keep half turning away and squinting. Then you have to watch the worst bits on a loop.
Sam and I watch in silence. The family are wearing party hats, which is a handy clue, or you really wouldn’t know it was Christmas at all. They are also wearing coats. And scarves. With tinsel over the top.
One solitary marshmallow floats on the top of what might or might not be a mug of hot chocolate, and a vat of mulled wine is poked about in vigorously until a single clove studded orange bobs to the surface.
A child drops a sprout, which bounces across the table like a frog on steroids, and is pounced on by a cat.
The fire looks like it stopped ‘crackling’ two days earlier, and the turkey looks like it’s been on a diet.
And the tree. I don’t want to talk about the tree. Christmas trees should be glorious. They should be the biggest tree you can carry home, and they should have every single decoration on that you can find (I need to stress that you can never have too many). This one is like the orphan of Christmas. It is the tree Christmas forgot.
It has been starved of attention, it is practically naked apart from a strand of scraggy tinsel and a job lot of candy canes.
‘Wow, have you seen all those candy canes.’ Sam points, unnecessarily. ‘Have you ever seen so many?’
‘Nope. And I never, ever want to see that many again.’
The video pans to the window where the snow is falling, and there’s an unmissable sign taped to the glass Boxing Day Party Cancelled.
I close the video down and we both stare at my email. ‘This is so bad. The only people who are actually going to book are the ones that don’t know how to use Google. I don’t want to give up on the Shooting Star Mountain Resort, and strike it off our list, but honestly Sam, what the hell are we supposed to do? We can’t let them book a holiday that we know is going to be shit.’ How could the man be so good-looking, but so totally bah-humbug? What a waste.
‘I know, but, maybe it’s got better since last Christmas?’ I love Sam for her optimism. ‘He might have bought some new decorations?’
I position the cursor over the ‘send’ button and hold my finger up high over the mouse theatrically. Just to see the look of horror on Sam’s face.
‘You wouldn’t dare!’
‘Sam, the man hates Christmas, he is Scrooge with knobs on!’
Sam is not like me; she is a bit dippy, but she is also kind, logical and sensible. I am not often accused of any of those things. And I am mad, as in very cross. Mr Armstrong is driving me nuts, which is quite an achievement seeing as I’ve never even met the man.
He is upsetting our clients but, more importantly, he is upsetting Auntie Lynn. She was so agitated yesterday when she heard about the latest complaint (I had to tell her, no way can I lie or hide things from Aunt Lynn, though I avoided mentioning a lawsuit), that she cleaned the oven. This is unheard of. That is why Mr Armstrong needs sorting. He’s also upsetting me, but we don’t need to go into that. ‘Do you really dare me?’
‘No, no, I take that back. I didn’t mean it, no dare, just don’t!’ Sam knows that I will rise to any dare, that saying the word ‘dare’ to me is like saying the words ‘hot chocolate fudge cake’ to her. Irresistible.
‘That man needs a kick up the butt. Has he any idea how much commission we’re losing on this? It’s all me, me, me with some people.’
She giggles and waves a biscuit in front of my face. ‘Ha ha, instead of you, you, you? You’re just taking this all too seriously, it’s not personal. Have a Hobnob, they’re chocolate ones.’
I do take it seriously. This travel agency on the high street is my Aunt Lynn’s business, and knowing exactly where our clients are going is our USP. We have gone for small, friendly, and special. Boutique. Auntie Lynn was a bit of a hippy (from what I can gather) when she was younger. As in what I call her pre-me era. The time before she took me in and took the place of my mother.
She loved to travel, to explore the world. Live life in a way that most people only manage through reading books.
She thinks the rest of the world is special.
She thinks holidays are special.
We are, she says, selling dreams, so we have a responsibility to stop them turning into nightmares. Our edge is that we care about our customers; we know that we’re selling a holiday that will suit somebody to a tee.
Except it’s all gone wrong with Will Armstrong.
I used to love hearing about how much people enjoyed their holiday in this place, how much it meant to them. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, as though I was somehow responsible. Aunt Lynn and I would share a secret smile as we read the reviews together. And now Mr Armstrong has buggered it up, and it’s pissing me off.
‘It is personal.’ I narrow my eyes and stare at the screen. ‘This place is one of the first that Auntie Lynn visited and fell in love with. He’s screwing up her happy memories as well as our reputation.’
When my aunt set this business up, it was to promote the places she’d been to. Places she loved and wanted to share. Then, as it grew, she made a point of visiting every location. Experiencing for herself what they had to offer, and more often than not she had taken me along with her. She said we were the two musketeers, though I did sometimes wonder if it would have been better for her if she’d been able to add a third.
Anyway, back to Mr Pain-in-the-arse Armstrong. To give in to temptation and hit send on this email, would be to admit that he has got to me. That he has made me forget my professionalism. It would be easier to just find another, much better resort to recommend.
Except it isn’t that simple.
The lovely log cabins with roaring fires, lashings of hot chocolate and deep white snow outside had sent our customers flocking to the Canadian Rockies for a cosy Christmas. Once upon a time, this place had created memories that could never be replaced. And sometimes we all need memories to hold onto the good times.
‘It’s bloody annoying,’ I know I sound a bit like a spoiled child, but I’m peeved, ‘that place was perfect, not commercialised, and everyone who had stayed there thought the same. They all came back starry-eyed, saying how it had been the best ever Christmas. Until Mr Festivity-bypass got his hands on it.’
Last Christmas had been a bit sparse on the old festive spirit, and even the holidaymakers who’d gone for the ski-ing and snowboarding had written terrible reviews about the equipment and facilities. As an outdoor resort it was pretty bad: as a festive resort it was the pits.
‘To be fair,’ Sam always tries to be fair, ‘it has definitely been slipping the last couple of years; last winter somebody said the huskies kept stopping for a pee instead of pulling the sled, and the mistletoe was plastic.’ She does have a point; the sparkle has been wearing off for a while now. ‘Faded plastic.’
Plastic mistletoe has to be the pits, but faded old plastic mistletoe? I ask you, who’s going to pucker up under that?
She shrugs. ‘We can suggest people go to Lapland instead, or to see the Northern Lights, they’re popular. I wouldn’t mind going there myself. Do you want this last biscuit, or not?’
‘Yes, seeing as you’ve had the rest.’ I reach out. ‘Shit.’ I had wanted the last biscuit, but now I don’t, I really don’t. ‘Holy crap. How did that happen?’ Oh God, why did I position the cursor there? Why was my stupid bloody mouse right where I could catch it with my elbow? Why do biscuits even exist?
‘What?’
‘Shit. Bugger. I am sooooooo dead. I hit send!’ I cover my eyes with my hands, and peep through. Sent. Gone for ever. Even if I delete it from my sent box, I will know I did it. Aunt Lynn will kill me. ‘It’s fine, fine.’ Take a deep breath, Sarah. ‘He won’t read it anyway. He usually never reads my emails.’ Only he did yesterday. I nibble on the biscuit frantically, like a demented hamster.
‘You idiot.’ A packet of Oreo’s appears on her desk as if by magic. ‘Emergency supplies, to treat shock.’
‘Oh nooooooo!’
‘I thought you liked . . .’
Her voice tails off, probably because I’m pointing at my screen. This can’t be happening, I need gin, not Oreos. ‘I’ve got a reply!’
‘It will be auto generated, out of office, or something. Nobody types that quick.’
It isn’t.
Apparently, some people can type quickly.
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