Danger Calls
Caridad Pineiro
One night was all it could ever be…Because Dr. Melissa Danvers was a vampire's keeper. Honor-bound to repay the man who'd always been there for her, Melissa hoped the 140-year-old immortal could uncover the mystery surrounding her parents' deaths. Complicating her mission was Sebastian Reyes, the young, sexy entrepreneur whose wild lovemaking left her sated, yet burning for more.One night of passion with the beautiful healer would haunt Sebastian the rest of his life. Now Melissa needed his computer expertise to unravel a crime and stay one step ahead of a desperate killer. Sebastian was strictly a no-strings-attached guy. Until danger and desire delivered him to the one woman his soul couldn't forget.
Danger Calls
Caridad Piñeiro
To all my friends at New Jersey Romance Writers for their support and encouragement. In particular, many, many thanks to Irene, Lois, Kathye, Anne, Patt, Mary, Shirley, Chris, Nancy, Ronnie and Ann for their caring and helpfulness. For more information on this wonderful group of writers, visit www.njromancewriters.org.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Prologue
Westchester County, October 2004
The body twitched convulsively on the floor of the cage before death stilled its movements.
Only two more rats to go and the active cell strain would be gone, leaving just the frozen samples and the journal taken from Dr. Frederick Danvers’s lab nearly a year ago. Not that either had been of much use. The journal contained no instructions on how to prepare the frozen cell samples for use in test subjects. Multiple attempts to activate the preserved strain using standard lab procedures had been dismally unsuccessful. There was little of the precious live sample left. In addition, the journal had not provided any clues as to the origin of the unusual cell strain so that more could be obtained. The project was close to failure.
A nudge with a finger to the dead rat’s body—just to make sure, since one had given a rather nasty bite once. A postmortem examination would hopefully yield some knowledge. If it didn’t, there was only one way left to secure what was needed to further the experiments. One very unpleasant way.
Unfortunately, such means were sometimes necessary when the possibility of reward was immense. And what greater prize could there be than the promise of immortality?
After all, who wouldn’t want to live forever?
Chapter 1
Westchester County, November 2004
Death would not be ignored that day.
It was in the bite of the chill wind as it ripped through the bare branches of trees, wailing plaintively. It was in the somber darkness of the clouds as it began to rain, as if they, too, were weeping.
Melissa Danvers stared down at the graves of her parents. A little more than a year ago, the ground had been too hard to bury them. Now a carpet of green, dulled by the frosts of fall, covered the earth where her parents rested. But there was still no peace for Melissa. There were too many things left unsaid and unresolved.
She murmured a prayer beneath her breath as the cries of the wind grew in intensity. Melissa almost didn’t hear the rain turn into sleet that beat a rat-a-tat-tat against her umbrella as she concentrated on the graves. She wondered what it had been like for them in those last moments before their car left the road and hurtled down the incline. Would they be alive if she had called the police when they hadn’t arrived according to schedule? Had they suffered for hours before they were found, or had their deaths been quick?
A particularly forceful gust of wind grabbed at her umbrella. Sleet stung her face and she shivered. A second later, he wrapped a strong arm around her. Looking up, she met the gaze of her family’s oldest and dearest friend. Of the man who had been so many things to her—surrogate brother, fairy godfather, protector. Now, he was all the family she had left.
“You okay?” Ryder Latimer asked as he drew her close.
She leaned into the comfort of his solid presence, which blocked the buffeting winds and provided her stability, much as he had most of her life. “I’m hanging in there. And you?”
Ryder stared down at the ground. Icy rain dripped from the brim of the fedora onto his face, but he seemed not to care. He looked paler than usual and Melissa worried that this outing was taxing his strength. He had yet to fully recover from the injuries he had suffered a few months before while assisting his FBI agent lover with a criminal investigation. “Are you feeling all right?”
He nodded and, without looking at her again, said, “I should have done more.”
“There’s nothing either of us could have done,” she replied, although her heart was heavy with remorse.
Ryder said nothing else, but she sensed that he shared her guilt. He had turned down an invitation to accompany her parents for a quiet weekend in Vermont. If he’d been driving instead of her father…She stopped herself, unwilling to begin the blame game again. Especially with Ryder, who had always been there for her. She also had to be his support now.
He handed her red roses and she laid one on each grave, pausing to pass her hand over the wet, spiky grass. Softly, beneath her breath, she said another goodbye to a mother and father she had never really known.
Ryder also laid a flower on each grave. After he was done, he took her elbow and hurried her to the limo that waited to return them to the Manhattan apartment they shared.
As she neared the car, the driver popped out of his seat and came around to open the door. She struggled with the umbrella for a moment, then slipped inside. A second later, Ryder sat in the seat opposite her and tossed off his hat.
She met his dark gaze, remembering a similar moment on the day her parents had been buried. He had been troubled then, as well. She hadn’t understood why until she had opened the envelope brought to the graveside ceremony by her father’s attorney.
With vivid recall, that day came alive again as they sat in silence while the limo pulled away.
The envelope had been old, its age apparent from the brittleness and rich yellow color of the heavy parchment. There was a patina on the envelope’s surface, as if it had been handled often.
Ryder had clearly known what it held. He’d told her it was her destiny, but nothing could have prepared her for what was contained in the neat, precise words of the letter: a legacy from an ancestor dead for well over a century.
On that day, she’d had to deal with her parents’ deaths. But then again, virtually everyone everywhere had to confront death and accept the inevitability that one day, death would come for them, as well.
Only fate sometimes interceded in ways hard to imagine.
On that day, Melissa had been forced to realize that fate had changed not only what she believed about death, but the very nature of her existence. She could no longer just be a physician dedicated to saving lives. Fate had charged her with being the companion and physician to Ryder Latimer, a one-hundred-and-forty-year-old vampire.
After the shock of it, she realized every Danvers before her had answered the call. Honor demanded she do no less. Since Ryder had always been there for her, for her family, she had felt compelled to repay him for being her champion.
In the time since then, she’d slowly learned just what her duty to Ryder entailed and how difficult it was. Handling things that couldn’t wait until the sun was weak enough for Ryder to emerge. Obtaining the blood necessary for his feedings. Giving him medical assistance when the sun, garlic or a lack of blood taxed his system.
In the last few months, it had been an even more exacting burden. After his injuries, he’d been too sick to tolerate even the weakest of sunlight, which had made him a virtual prisoner in their apartment. He’d required extra blood and medicine in an effort to help his recovery. His lover, Diana Reyes, had assisted Melissa on many an occasion, but she lacked the medical skills to deal with Ryder’s more complex needs. That was solely up to Melissa and it kept her almost constantly on edge. Both mental and physical exhaustion had become part of her daily routine.
For a brief moment, the burdens of her life had been eased by a chance encounter with Diana’s younger brother Sebastian. In just one night, he’d provided her a glimpse into the kind of life she had come to think wasn’t possible—one where she wasn’t alone. But one night was all it had been. With daylight, Melissa had been troubled by the idea of sharing the secret of Ryder’s existence and the commitment to keep him safe. And by the idea of sharing herself.
Ryder, she thought and looked at him again. He had closed his eyes and seemed to be resting. Although he was normally pale by human standards, his skin seemed almost bloodless today. She worried again that he had pushed himself too hard. As if sensing her prolonged perusal, Ryder opened his eyes and met her gaze.
“I’m okay,” he said, and Melissa wondered if mind reading was one of his vampiric abilities. Or did he just know her that well?
“You don’t look okay.”
“I’m doing fine—”
She cut him off with an angry slash of her hand. “You’re not fine. It’s been over two months, and you’re still weak. I’m worried.”
“You shouldn’t be. I’m healing slowly, but I am getting better,” Ryder insisted.
Melissa couldn’t argue that he appeared stronger and was doing more every day. But he still wasn’t healthy enough for her taste. “Your strength and energy levels—”
“I’ve never been hurt this badly before, except for…” His voice trailed off, broadcasting his reservations.
With a wave of her hand, she urged Ryder to clarify.
He dragged his fingers through his dark hair, his frustration obvious. “Except for when I was first turned. Your great-great-grandfather, William, tended to me until I seemed to get better.”
“Seemed to? It’s like being pregnant, Ryder. Either you are or—”
“I got toothy,” he said harshly and locked his gaze with hers. “I got hungry and I got wild and the fangs emerged. You don’t want to know what I was like then.”
His hands were clenched tightly by his side. Melissa reached out and grasped one fist. “I know what you were like then, from reading the first journals. But now…” She hesitated, unsure of how to continue without treading on very treacherous ground.
The journals her ancestors had kept could be an amazing source of information regarding Ryder’s vampirism. She’d managed to go through about a dozen before one of them had been stolen from her office.
“One of the journals is missing and you’re uncomfortable that I’ve asked you to approach Sebastian for help?” Ryder questioned.
“Am I that easy to read?” she wondered aloud.
Ryder chuckled and said, “A big hint, Danvers. Poker is not your game.”
Melissa shook her head in amusement, then brought up the argument they’d had often since someone had broken into her office a few days ago and stolen one of the Danvers’s memoirs. “We can keep the journals safe by ourselves. We don’t need to ask anyone else for help.”
Ryder shook his head. “No, we can’t. At a minimum, we should ask Diana for her advice. As for Sebastian, his skills would be invaluable.”
Though she was uneasy about bringing Sebastian back into her life, she knew Ryder was right. Those journals were too important to risk. They needed copies—encrypted, impossible-to-steal copies. Because Melissa was convinced there was information in her ancestor’s notes that could help her heal Ryder faster.
Her father had concocted a mix to counteract the effects of too much sun and other poisons on Ryder’s system. What was left of the mixture had saved Ryder’s life two months ago. And with today’s medical advances, she hoped she could make a difference. Perhaps even find a cure.
Then Ryder might not need her as his constant companion. She could have a life with…Sebastian again came to mind, as he did too often lately.
“I stopped hoping for a cure a long time ago,” Ryder said quietly, again reading her thoughts. “I don’t want you to have your hopes dashed, as well.”
But they’ve already been destroyed. She suddenly wanted to lash out at him. Ever since she’d discovered her duty, as next in the Danvers line, her hopes and dreams had virtually disappeared. Somehow she’d persevered, creating the illusion of normalcy in much the same way Ryder adopted the semblance of humanity. The sham had worked for a little while. But now there were recent happenings in both their lives that suddenly made her wonder What if?
For starters, Ryder was in love with a human and, from what she could see, the feeling was very mutual. Of course his relationship with Diana hadn’t progressed to the living-together stage. The marriage thing seemed out of the question. But what if Diana was here to stay? Would that free Melissa of her duty?
And if it didn’t, and Melissa somehow suspected that it didn’t, what about her life? What about the possibility of love?
Only, she reminded herself, no one had mentioned love that night, only sex. Which, with Sebastian, had been…She wouldn’t call it a mistake, but it had certainly been unplanned. Spontaneous. Well, at least the first time. The second and third…Being a modern, mature, Sex and the City kind of girl, she knew that one night with a man did not a romance make. But in the very few and very infrequent free moments since then, she’d wondered whether a second or third or fourth date with Sebastian might change things.
After the craziness of such thoughts, logic would return and she would acknowledge that what had happened that night had been simple transference. Or at least that’s what one of her psychiatrist friends would call it. She’d taken the caring shown by Sebastian toward his sister and toward Ryder and transferred it to herself. With her parents’ recent deaths and Ryder seriously injured, she’d been vulnerable, starved for affection. It had resulted in a very pleasant interlude.
But that was all it had been or ever could be. In addition to the constraints of being both a doctor and Ryder’s companion, she wasn’t ready to trust her heart to anyone. She might not ever be ready.
It’s not as if she’d learned how to trust—how to love—from her parents. They had been emotionally distant, at best. Her mother had been a physically frail creature, needing most of her husband’s attention and having little patience for the inquisitive and energetic child Melissa had been. Her father’s time had been taken up by his medical practice. And, of course, as she had learned at his death, by Ryder and his demands.
Later, medical school and her residency had curbed what was left of her personal life. Her few encounters during that time had intentionally lacked emotional investment. Since becoming Ryder’s companion, her social life had become nonexistent.
Except, of course, for Sebastian.
But if she was ever to have any life at all, Melissa had to take control of things. To have control, she needed more information than what was currently at her disposal.
She wrapped her arms around herself, more than a little uneasy about the path she was about to embark upon. She wasn’t someone who normally challenged the status quo, but maybe a year with a vampire—and that one night with Sebastian—had left her feeling a little rebellious. For too long, she had followed without question. Guarded her heart to avoid being rejected. In spite of her protests against seeking help to safeguard the journals, she had no doubt the possibility of a normal life was worth the risk. Even if that help—that risk—came from Sebastian.
When she spoke, the strength of her conviction was clear. “I’ll go to Sebastian tomorrow, but for the other…I’m not asking permission, Ryder. I plan on scouring those journals for any hint of a cure. With or without your help.”
“And nothing—”
“Nothing, not even getting toothy, is going to stop me.”
Chapter 2
Sebastian Reyes had a problem. Or rather, his new client had one. They had gotten the SQL Slammer virus because someone in their IT department forgot to shut down Port 1434. He entered the user name and password he had been provided, cleared his client’s firewall and remotely accessed their network. With a few keystrokes, he had a patch going to fix the issue.
He grabbed three squeeze stress balls and pushed away from his desk, where his computer was monitoring the progress. He tossed the first stress ball high into the air, followed it with the others, juggling them to pass the time while his computer ground away. As he walked around, stress squeezies flying through the air, Sebastian occasionally shot a look at the monitor where a large dialogue box announced how much of the patch was finished.
Not much longer, he realized, pleased his new computer and server setup were working so well. Even though the dotcom bust had finally reached the company for which he had been working, resulting in its bankruptcy, he’d recently sold one of his computer games. And he’d turned the frequent requests from former clients—such as the frantic call regarding the virus—into a consulting business for those who needed their networks operating, and the private things on their systems remaining private. So instead of doing the nine-to-five office routine, he worked out of the apartment he shared with his FBI agent sister, Diana, writing new games and monitoring for performance and security issues. Plus he got to do other fun things, like hacking into the systems of clients and other consultants to make sure everything was in working order. Nonconformist that he was, he loved the hacking best.
All in all, he couldn’t complain. At twenty-eight, he was making a decent living with less stress, and he was his own boss. He smiled, tossed the balls around, then stopped his juggling as he noticed the patch was complete.
Sebastian laid the squeeze balls on the desktop and ended the remote session just as the doorbell rang.
He opened the door and stopped short.
Melissa Danvers.
Dr. Melissa Danvers, vampire keeper, still looking as stunning today as she had nearly three months ago when she’d first dropped that bombshell on him. He’d thought it a shame someone so very beautiful was a crackpot, until his sister confirmed that Ryder Latimer was a vampire.
“Hi. You’re the last thing I expected to see,” he said, wondering what she was doing on his doorstep, but pleased nonetheless.
She held her Coach purse before her and nervously fingered the straps, looking decidedly prim, proper and uneasy. But that uneasiness couldn’t dim her beauty. For months, he’d tried to convince himself his recollections of her had been suspect, colored by the tension and danger of the night they had shared.
They hadn’t. Wheat-blond hair framed an oval-shaped face that was classically beautiful. From the straight, slightly pug nose to a heart-shape mouth with lips…
Don’t think about those lips, he warned himself. Just keep it simple. Meet her gaze directly and firmly and…
Only the blue of her changeling eyes was a stormy gray tonight—the color of trouble. So he shouldn’t have been surprised when she said, “I have a problem.”
“A problem?” Panic raced through him. There was only one problem he could think of that would bring her to his door. They’d taken precautions when they’d made love that night, but of course, nothing was foolproof. His gut tightened with concern. He was barely capable of taking care of himself, much less a child or a wife. His father would have…
He refused to think about the chastisement that would have been sure to come from his father, if he’d still been alive. Sebastian was no longer the hesitant little boy always striving for his Papi’s acceptance. He was a grown man, and he knew what he had to do.
He motioned Melissa into the apartment, then closed the door behind her and strove for a totally-in-control kind of voice. “Wrong. No problema. Whatever you need, Melissa. Are you Catholic?”
A shocked expression crossed her patrician features. “Forthright, aren’t you? And no, I’m Episcopalian.”
He squared his shoulders and, with what he hoped seemed like bravado, nodded. “I’m a responsible kind of guy. And you’re smart. Attractive. And—”
“Healthy. See. I have all my teeth,” Melissa said with some bite and forced her mouth wide open to display her perfectly white and straight teeth.
Sebastian narrowed his eyes as he considered her carefully. “Do you always hide behind a joke?”
She shook her head, as if chastising herself, and her shoulder-length hair swayed with the movement. “We’re getting off on the wrong foot. I’m sorry. It’s not a personal kind of problem. I need your techno-knowledge.”
Sebastian released a long breath and was surprised that mixed in with the relief was a little regret. Maybe even a bit of anger. Three months of not being able to stop thinking about her and the only reason she was on his doorstep now was because she needed his expertise. “So I guess what happened between us was—”
Melissa held up her hand to silence him. “Please don’t be offended, but I thought we both knew that it was a result of the danger and—”
“The tension. Right. Nothing else.” He had known someone like Melissa would have no interest in someone like him. They were too different. It was why he hadn’t called her after their night together. It was why he shouldn’t have been thinking of her all this time. He stuffed his hands into his pockets—he was too tempted to move a stray lock of her silky blond hair from her face. That would be wrong. So totally wrong.
“What kind of computer help do you need?” He struggled for a neutral tone.
When her gaze met his, something big and dangerous flared to life inside him. She hesitated, seeming to recognize what he was feeling. “Actually, I’m rethinking this.”
Despite her statement, she took the seat Sebastian offered and settled herself on the black leather couch in the living room that doubled as his office. He sat before her on the coffee table. Leaning forward, he braced his elbows on his thighs and clasped his hands together. He was fighting a losing battle not to touch her. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
Melissa paused again, clearly troubled. With a nod of her head, she explained. Sebastian patiently listened to her description of the Danvers family journals and how one had recently been taken from her office. That didn’t give him a clue as to why his help was needed until Melissa finished by saying that Ryder and Diana thought someone should scan the remaining journals as a safeguard.
He gave a careless shrug. “Scanning is easy enough to do. But someone could still snatch the one machine with the images. Unless you encrypt the files and the database. Put the pieces at different secure locations.”
Melissa smiled. “That’s why you’re the best person for this job. You know exactly what we need to do. And you already know Ryder’s secret.”
“It would take a day or—”
Melissa quickly jumped in. “It needs to be foolproof. No one can hack into this.”
From the tone of her voice, Sebastian gathered there was something she wasn’t telling him. It bothered him that she wasn’t being totally honest. “Not giving me all the details, are you?”
She flushed and shifted nervously. “I’m not really sure—”
He moved off the table and sat down next to her. “And I’m not sure I want to be dragged into something without all the information.”
The stain of color on her cheeks deepened and she looked away. Sebastian lost the battle then. He cupped her chin and applied gentle pressure until she faced him. Her skin was smooth and warm beneath his fingers. As soft and silky as it had been the night they…He ripped himself from those thoughts. They were a dangerous distraction. “If there’s more, I need to know.”
Giving him a tight smile, Melissa shied away from his touch. “I’m not sure there’s more yet. But there are too many things that seem to connect.”
“Like?” he pressed.
“Ryder’s secret. The missing journal. The car crash that killed my parents more than a year ago. It’s just too many things happening too close together.” She looked down at her hands as she spoke. They were clasped together tightly, her knuckles nearly white from the pressure.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know your parents were dead.” Sebastian reached out and covered her hands with one of his. “Have you talked to Diana about your suspicions?”
Again Melissa eased away from his comforting gesture. “Ryder and I told her about the crash. And the journal. She’s not sure we should be worried, but thinks it can’t hurt to get some more information. We gave her the details we had.”
Sebastian considered all that Melissa had revealed, and all that she hadn’t. She was unsure around him. That was clear from the way she withdrew every time he tried to make some overture. He knew from their night together, she wasn’t used to being close to people, not even in a friendly way. Could they work together, given what had happened between them? And she obviously believed there was a possibility the journals—and the people connected to them—were in danger.
With the exception of his sister, Sebastian kept away from emotional complications. Maybe it was selfish, but the life he had chosen spared him from dealing with the expectations of others, his father in particular. Sebastian had found his own way and was happy with it. He wasn’t sure he was prepared to be anyone’s champion.
“I need to think about this.”
Her head jerked up and her eyes widened with surprise. “You’re not sure you can do what we want?”
Sebastian rose. He rocked back and forth on his heels as he said, “Tech stuff is a slam dunk. I’m a whiz at that. But the rest—”
Melissa jumped up off the sofa. “Whatever happened before, it won’t happen again.” She stressed that promise with an emphatic slash of her hand.
He wished it were that simple. “Well, thanks for that little ego boost,” he quipped and, before she could answer, continued. “I’m not sure I want to be involved. I kinda like my solitary life. Plus, being a hero is more up Diana’s alley than mine.”
“B-but you helped before. When Ryder was hurt,” Melissa said.
Sebastian shrugged. “No choice then. You needed me—”
“We need you now. There’s no one else we can trust with Ryder’s secret.”
He wasn’t going to leap without thinking about it first. His father may have believed him to be thoughtless in his rebellion, but in fact, Sebastian’s decisions had always been studied and logical. Right now, logic was telling him that it made no sense to become more involved in Melissa’s life.
Melissa, with her by-the-book personality, was a challenge to the comfortable world he had created for himself. She was also a possible danger to his safety, if it turned out she was right and the crash that had killed her parents hadn’t been an accident. And worse, although he didn’t want to admit it, she was a real risk to his heart, regardless of everything else.
He didn’t want to seem callous, but it made no sense to carry on with the conversation until he’d had time to consider everything without the pressure of Melissa hovering nearby. She was a distraction he didn’t need. He motioned to the door and Melissa hurried to it, the lines of her body tight with anger.
As she stepped out, he gently grasped her arm. “I didn’t say no, Melissa. I just need to think about it.”
With a curt nod, she strode off. He lingered by the door, watching her go, wishing he could have immediately said yes. Despite his mixed emotions, something about Melissa Danvers intrigued him.
When Sebastian closed the door he’d intended to try out an amended version of his latest game. But as he took hold of the joystick and loaded up the program, his mind drifted back to Melissa.
Forcing himself to concentrate, he made sure the changes requested by the computer game manufacturer were working. He was just completing the first level when he heard the grate of a key in the lock. “Well look who’s finally home.”
“I have an early morning,” Diana answered as she entered the apartment.
Sebastian gave her a puzzled look.
“Ryder’s still weak. He needs to rest—”
“And he’s not about to get it with you around,” he said with a knowing grin.
Diana smiled and grabbed the squeeze balls from the desk. She juggled them at a speed well beyond what Sebastian could manage. But then again, Diana never did anything at normal levels. Including picking a boyfriend.
“Show-off,” Sebastian teased and Diana playfully tossed the balls at him in response.
Sebastian managed to catch them all as his sister peeked at the screen. “What are you working on?”
Rising, Sebastian blocked Diana’s view of the monitor, leaned on the edge of the desk and crossed his arms. “Hacking into classified FBI files to see what’s new with my sis and her furry friends.”
She crossed her arms and stood before him, impatiently tapping one sensibly-soled foot. “Ryder’s not furry.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s right. He’s just life-challenged?” He cocked an eyebrow.
Diana tried to see around him, but Sebastian dodged left and right, blocking her view. With a huff, Diana finally said, “You’re not hacking me, right? I mean, I know you could do it, but you didn’t. Right?”
He grinned and stepped aside to show her the frozen scene in the game. “I could, but I won’t because you’d have to bring me in.” He held his hands out in front of him, pretending he was about to be handcuffed.
His sister slapped his hands away. “Cut it out, hermanito. Concerned brother slash hacker extraordinaire that you are, you wouldn’t put me in that difficult a position.”
Sebastian joined her on the couch as she kicked off her shoes. He watched his sister intently as he said, “Things are tough enough, aren’t they? What with Ryder and stuff.”
Diana met his gaze squarely. “I’m assuming Melissa came by?”
“She did. Explained her problem. I’m not sure what to do,” Sebastian admitted.
“About her or the project?”
“The project and nothing but the project.”
“Funny. My radar hinted the two of you had connected.”
Sebastian tried to laugh off the suggestion. He was hesitant to admit he and Melissa had shared a night together. “Yeah, like a wrong number kind of connect.”
Diana rose from the sofa and placed her hands on her hips, drawing open her suit jacket slightly. She scrutinized him much the way she would a suspect. “Guess I was wrong.”
“Yep. Major League error.”
His sister smirked, confirming she recognized the lie for what it was. She playfully chucked him on the chin. “Little bro, you may fool some women with that pretty-boy face, but not this girl.”
Ruefully shaking his head, Sebastian said, “We’ve been through too much together, huh?”
And wasn’t that an understatement of gigantic proportions? In the year after their father’s death, Sebastian had tried to help his sister cope with the pain. His sister had always been the strong one—until their father had been killed and Diana had fallen apart.
Diana had entered a dark and dangerous world, and Sebastian had thought he could somehow keep her from totally going over the edge. So he’d gone with her to clubs for those who liked to live precariously; been by her side on many a late night. Tried to make sure that in the numbing haze created by one too many tequila shooters, Diana did nothing that would harm her.
The defiant streak inside of him had responded to the make-no-excuses, take-no-crap kind of life. In that blurry world of alcohol and angry music, he’d finally discovered peace. He’d realized there was nothing wrong in walking his own path, rather than toeing his father’s line. His dead father, who he’d never been able to please anyway.
Rebellion suited Sebastian and gave him a place where he was free of his pain. But the freedom had been an illusion, and a dangerous one at that. The partying and drinking had only numbed his guilt over never having lived up to his father’s expectations.
It had taken great strength to untangle all the conflicting emotions within himself, to deal with Diana’s pain, and his own, and find a way back to who he really was. It hadn’t been easy, but it had made him a stronger man.
Years later, he had finally accepted that he could never have been the son his father wanted. The best he could do was be his own man.
“There’s a lot going on now, and I’ve dragged you into it again, haven’t I?” There was an edge of anguish in his sister’s voice that Sebastian hated to hear.
“You love Ryder and he makes you happy. I would never wish anything different for you.”
“But you want something different for yourself?” she pressed, apparently hearing something behind his words.
“I want the Happily Ever After, but with someone simple.”
“Someone not like Melissa—is that it?”
Sebastian was finding it difficult not to confide in his sister since they’d never kept anything from each other before. He didn’t want to start now. “There was something between us,” he said, although he didn’t quite know what to call the night he and Melissa had shared.
“Something, huh? You think you can just make that something go away?”
“I’m trying, although it’s not easy,” he stated flatly. “There are other things in my life that keep me busy.”
“Like your games? And your hacking?” Sebastian flinched as he heard the echo of his father’s words lashing out at him. Like father, like daughter.
Diana must have realized she’d struck a sore point, for she apologized instantly. “I didn’t mean to condemn.”
“Didn’t you? You sounded just like him. RoboCop redux.”
Her color paled at his rebuke and her generous mouth thinned into a tight line. But she still reached out and laid a hand on Sebastian’s leg in an effort to soothe the sting of her words. “Hermanito, I’m sorry. It’s just you and I are so different that way.”
“Don’t I know it. Didn’t Dad tell me often enough that I should be more responsible? That I should care about school more.” His sister started to speak but Sebastian silenced her with an angry wave of his hand. “You know what I remember best about Dad? Besides watching him die in your arms?” He paused, although he expected no answer to his question. “I must have been thirteen or fourteen. I was playing a game up in my room and Dad came in. He sat beside me, watching the screen but not talking. I tried to explain the rules, but after a few minutes, Dad mumbled something about wasting time playing games when life was so much more important.”
“He just couldn’t understand you,” Diana said, much as Sebastian expected she would. He adored his sister and trusted her judgment, but Diana had never grown beyond her hero worship of their police-officer father. She didn’t realize that while being a champion to others, their father had often put his family second and ignored a son who was totally different in temperament and interests.
“Do you think Melissa could understand me?”
“I haven’t thought about it,” Diana admitted.
“She’s uptight and über-responsible. I’m a no-strings-attached kind of guy.” He looked away from his sister. He didn’t want her to see his confusion or his guilt. Despite his best efforts these last three months, he hadn’t been able to forget Melissa.
More than most, he knew the hardship of conforming and being bound by another’s conventions. Sebastian sensed that Melissa’s life was not her own, that she needed an escape from the burdens she bore. He wanted to ease the weight off her shoulders. He hadn’t felt that way in a long time—as if he could help someone else. Be someone worthy for her. But he’d both disappointed and angered her tonight with his hesitation.
Funny how much it was like the situation with his father all over again.
After a long silent moment he turned to face his sister, not knowing what to expect. Certainly not the little Mona Lisa-like smile on her face. “Seems to me you’ve been thinking about it way too much, hermanito.”
Sebastian stood, took a breath, about to tell her that he didn’t want to talk about it, when Diana surprised him by saying, “I’ve got to get some sleep. Hasta mañana.” She rose and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
“’Night, sis.” How could she understand him so well? Sometimes better than he understood himself.
After Diana walked into her bedroom and closed the door, it was impossible to concentrate on the mock investigations and battles of his game.
If he had any sense, he would stop wondering about Melissa. But it was difficult, given the impression she’d made. Months ago, she had been strong enough to confront his sister and convince Diana to look for a missing Ryder. When faced with Ryder’s injuries, Melissa had been capable and unafraid. But after the crisis was over, the pain hidden behind her competent façade had called out to him. He’d tried to soothe her emotional wounds, and they’d ended up making love.
Not that he considered himself shallow, but he had noticed more than her vulnerability. Melissa’s eyes—dios, but he could spend hours looking into her changeling blue eyes. A deep, dark slate-gray with worry. Bright and sparkling with bits of aquamarine when she was happy, as she had been in those unguarded moments the morning after.
She had a dimple when she smiled, and although her smile was sometimes hesitant, as if she didn’t experience it often, it lit up a face that was stunning in a healthy, blond, California-girl kind of way.
Sebastian couldn’t deny that he’d remembered on more than one occasion what she had tasted like when he kissed her. How her compact, curvy body had felt pressed to his. What she looked like without her…
He groaned as his nether regions sprang to life as they did way too often when he thought about Melissa. He heard a door opening, sat up slightly and grabbed a pillow, which he placed on his lap to hide his erection. A second later, Diana strolled into the room.
She was rubbing her hands together, as if she had just put on some lotion, and she had changed into her pajamas. “Still up?” she asked when she noticed him on the couch.
Oh, he was up, but not in a way he’d admit to his sister. “Sí, still awake. Trying to figure out a problem.”
Diana gave him a puzzled look, her brows furrowed together. “Need help?”
Sputtering, Sebastian quickly replied, “No, thanks. I think I’ve figured out what to do.” And the truth was he suddenly knew where to begin.
Chapter 3
Melissa had been with her patient for the last hour, trying to be of comfort as the young girl went through her first treatment for a rare blood disorder. There was a crick in the small of Melissa’s back from sitting in the chair by the girl’s bedside and, after, helping shift her into another bed so she could return to her room.
It didn’t matter that Melissa had missed lunch. She hadn’t really been hungry, and her fifteen-year-old patient was nervous and needed a little support. Besides, Melissa’s afternoon was light, appointmentwise. She could grab a quick bite later, before rounds. As she reached her office, she heard the phone ringing and raced inside.
“Dr. Danvers.”
“Hello, Doc,” Sebastian said.
Anger rose up in her as she recalled their encounter of the night before. Color her stupid, but she’d been counting on him to help without hesitation. “Have you made up your mind yet?”
“Direct and to the point. Right, Doc?”
Melissa shook her head at her own abruptness and tried to smooth things over. After all, she needed this man’s assistance. “Please don’t call me Doc. It always makes me feel as if I should be balding and hanging out with six dwarves. I’m short, but not that short.”
Sebastian chuckled and she was able to picture his grin in her mind. That was not good. She shouldn’t be remembering that much about this man. “Melissa, then. I wanted to talk about the help you needed. Maybe even share a latte kind of boost.”
“I could use some caffeine,” she said, although what she was more interested in was his answer to her request. “There’s a pretty good coffee shop right near the corner of 60th and York.”
“I can meet you there in about ten minutes. Does that work for you?” Sebastian asked.
“I’ll see you then.”
It was one of those weird summerlike December days in New York City. Midseventies with a bright blue cloudless sky. Melissa made the short walk to the coffee shop, enjoying the weather. It was something she rarely got to do.
As promised, Sebastian was waiting outside. He wore faded black jeans that were snug against his lean legs and a black Buffy the Vampire Slayer shirt, bearing a picture of the blond superhero and assorted monsters. The first time she had met him, he had sported a Star Wars T-shirt.
Today’s shirt, featuring one of her favorite shows, made her smile. Some vampires, Ryder excluded, might find the show politically incorrect toward the undead. Although she had never met another vampire. When she’d questioned Ryder, he’d hinted that others like him existed in Manhattan. He’d also made it clear he preferred to avoid their company. Melissa hadn’t pressed the issue at the time. Someday, however, they might have to revisit that issue.
Sebastian grinned as he caught sight of her. His smile caused an unexpected lurch in the middle of her chest. Melissa suddenly felt like a self-conscious thirteen-year-old instead of a liberated thirtysomething woman. “Hi.”
“Hola,” he replied and made no motion other than to hold his hand out in the direction of the shop. She wasn’t sure why that disappointed her. She’d been expecting a handshake, a hug or one of the other typical greetings people who knew one another shared.
But then again, she and Sebastian didn’t really know each other at all.
Inside the coffee shop was fairly quiet as the afternoon lunch rush was over and the midafternoon coffee break surge had yet to start. It took only a minute for them to place their orders.
“You look wiped,” Sebastian said. “Why don’t you grab a seat? I’ll bring our coffees over when they’re ready.”
Melissa nodded and walked to the front of the shop, where there was a bench seat and table near a window facing York Avenue.
While waiting for their orders, Sebastian looked her way. She smiled nervously, then glanced down at her outfit, suddenly wishing she had changed. The white lab jacket and hospital scrubs were big on her petite physique, giving her a too-youthful appearance. Of course, that might not be such a bad thing considering Sebastian was several years younger than her—in his late twenties at the most. Also, someone had told her once that the pale blue color of the scrubs made her eyes look a crystalline blue. She wondered if Sebastian would notice, then forced such thoughts from her mind.
The only thing between them was Sebastian’s help with the journals. Nothing else. Certainly nothing like what Sebastian had done with her and to her during their first meeting. A little bit of heat flared to life at the recollection of that night. She fanned her hand before her face to cool it.
A second later, he walked over with their lattes and she fumbled a bit as she took the large cup from him. “Thanks.”
When she looked up into his eyes, she noted amusement. She was about to ask him what was funny, when he said, “You’re not used to people caring for you, are you?”
It was unsettling that he could be so right. “Are you always this perceptive?” she challenged, trying to erect some kind of barrier to his insight. She didn’t like being so transparent. Poker face, she reminded herself.
Sebastian only smiled and motioned to the bench with the hand that held his coffee. “May I join you there?”
Melissa realized for the first time that there was very little room beside her. Unfortunately, there was also no chair nearby. To refuse him would seem rude. She shifted to the edge nearest the window and inclined her head in invitation.
When he eased down beside her, his broad shoulder brushed against hers. His denim-covered legs were not as close, but still too near. She was finding it hard to ignore him. He was attractive, with his gleaming dark hair and eyes accented by well-defined cheekbones. His skin had the kind of tanned color that didn’t fade in the winter. And his lips…
Don’t think about those lips, she warned herself and forced her thoughts to something else.
Like the fact that he wasn’t tall. Barely five foot ten, but his leanly muscled body gave the sense of greater height. His sculpted arms were bared by his short-sleeved T-shirt. She had tried to put his physical strength out of her mind, but now, with him nearly on top of her, it was hard not to appreciate how compellingly masculine he was. Even harder to just sit here beside him and stare. She grabbed her cup with two hands and shimmied closer to the edge of the bench. He smirked wryly.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” she said.
“I guess I invaded your space, huh? Sorry. I’m Cuban. We’re physical with…” He paused, as if searching for the right words. Finally he said, “Friends and family.”
“Well, have MCI take me off your list,” she replied sharply, then shook her head. “I’m sorry. That was harsh.”
Sebastian gave a careless shrug, which stretched the fabric of his shirt across the width of his shoulders. He took a sip of his latte. “But you’re right. We’re not family…or friends. Still, you want my help.”
She was grateful he was enough of a gentleman not to mention their night together. Things were uncomfortable enough. She examined his face but couldn’t read his mood like she had the other night. “We’re not friends yet,” she said, realizing how weird it was that she had known this man intimately, but didn’t really have a clue about him.
“There’s time for you to make my list,” he said. “What about you and Ryder? Have you been friends for long?”
She stared at her coffee and avoided his gaze. “Ryder’s more than a friend. He’s all the family I have.”
“I guess you’ve known him a long time?”
“All my life.”
Motioning with his hand, Sebastian asked, “All your life as in—”
“Forever.” Melissa took another sip of her latte.
Sebastian cocked his head, seemingly perplexed. “Didn’t you notice that, well, Ryder didn’t get any older-looking?”
Out of the corner of her eye, Melissa glanced at him. “No more than I wonder about Dick Clark every New Year’s Eve.”
Sebastian laughed. Melissa joined him and rolled her eyes, realizing just how unbelievable her whole situation must be to an outsider like him.
“And you’ve been his keeper…Do you think we can call you something else? Like his companion, maybe?”
“A rose by any other name—”
“Do you resent it?”
“It’s what I have to do.”
“Why?” he challenged with a cocky shrug.
“Because it’s my duty. Because my family has honored that call for nearly six generations.” Suddenly she had the urge to leave. The conversation was exposing too much to a virtual stranger. This meeting was supposed to have been about him helping, not about her. “Come to think of it, it’s time I returned to the hospital.”
She began to rise, but Sebastian laid a hand on her arm and applied gentle pressure to keep her beside him. She stared at his hand and followed the line of his muscled arm until her gaze met his. “I have to—”
“No, you don’t. In fact, rumor has it that the only two things you have to do are die and pay taxes. Only I guess you don’t have to die, do you?” His voice trailed off at the end, as if he, too, realized what an awkward situation they were in.
“If you’re like Ryder, time doesn’t matter.” But it mattered to her and to this man sitting beside her, looking at her way too seriously and with too much compassion.
“I respect what you feel about honoring your family’s loyalties, only—”
“It’s an outdated concept in today’s world, where anyone can do anything and not worry about the consequences?”
As if she hadn’t harshly interrupted, Sebastian calmly continued, “I know how hard it is. I just wish that you could find some peace with that duty. With what you want most for you, in here.” He emphasized that statement by pointing to the spot above his heart.
Melissa struggled for something to say, something that could break the connection she was experiencing with him, only she couldn’t find the words.
At her prolonged silence, he finally said, “When did you find out what Ryder was?”
“I’m not sure I like all these questions,” she replied softly.
Sebastian laid a hand on her arm. “I just need to know more before I commit.”
Seeing that he wasn’t going to give up, Melissa relaxed against the back of the bench. Sebastian removed his hand from her arm. Funny how she sensed the absence of it. Of the quiet strength in his long slender fingers. “I found out about Ryder a little over a year ago. When my parents died.”
“Is that when—”
“I became his…personal physician,” she answered and shot a quick look at him to gauge his reaction.
He smiled as she acquiesced to his earlier request, but then he became serious once more. “You resent it, don’t you?”
“Broken record time. I think you asked that already.”
He held up a finger. “But you didn’t really answer.”
Maybe she hadn’t answered because she didn’t want to discuss it. Especially not with Sebastian. She had given him her body, but she was afraid of giving him more.
“This is the point where I should realize this is something you’d rather not discuss,” he said.
Melissa hated the tension between them. Trying to ease the strain, she adopted a lighthearted tone. “I would very much appreciate a change of topic.”
He smiled sadly, but the sadness faded as he leaned his head against the padded bench, clearly thinking about something.
Melissa was suddenly impatient to hear what he would say next, and realized she liked that he was unpredictable.
“Okay, so let’s talk about your favorite kind of food.”
The very abrupt change in subject threw her, but brought a hesitant smile to her lips. “And why would we want to do that?”
He turned the full force of his gaze on her. Her heart did that funky thing again in the middle of her chest.
“So I know what kind of restaurant to take you to.”
His interest shouldn’t have pleased her. She didn’t have time for a normal life. She couldn’t become involved with him. He was carefree, fun…young. Not the kind of guy who’d want to live her kind of life. Despite that, she found herself exercising a rarely used skill—flirtation.
“What makes you think I’d want to go?” She bestowed on him her best come-hither smile. Or at least, she hoped it was that and not a grimace. Her smile muscles felt stiff.
Sebastian scrutinized her face, obviously unsure of where he stood, before shooting her a quick grin. “Let’s just say that I know you want to go, but that you also want to keep it all business. So we will.”
“We will what?” she asked, perplexed.
“Keep it business. You can tell me more about the journals while I think about what equipment we need and how I’ll program things.”
She shouldn’t have been disappointed. He was doing the right thing, just as he had done the morning after. He hadn’t pressed, almost as if he’d realized she was uncertain about all they had shared the night before. Instead, he’d been tender and concerned, tracing the dark circle beneath one eye and excusing himself so she could rest.
She suddenly wanted to know more about this complex rebel with a gentle touch and a heart that…She stopped herself. She shouldn’t be thinking about things of the heart. She’d never been good with emotion and now, as Ryder’s doctor, there was even less space for that in her life. “Maybe you should just come over to the apartment and do whatever you need to. That might be better.”
After a long pause, he said, “I could bring food so we could eat while we talk. So is it Italian?”
Melissa chuckled at his stubbornness. “Yes. With lots of garlic. And garlic bread. Maybe even Parmesan garlic salad dressing.”
He laughed. “It’s tough caring for a vampire, isn’t it?” he said.
Melissa nodded. “So about this business meeting…”
Chapter 4
Sebastian struggled with what to wear, not sure of the message he wanted to send. If he had been meeting a client, he’d replace the T-shirt and faded jeans with more suitable attire. Of course, since Melissa had not mentioned remuneration, and even if she had he would have refused it, he wasn’t quite certain she would fall into the client category.
He grabbed an X-Files T-shirt but didn’t put it on. After all, he wanted her to take him seriously, even if the only kind of relationship they had was a professional one. At least for now. Sebastian couldn’t help hoping the good doctor was battling a personal desire having nothing to do with work.
The T-shirt suddenly seemed juvenile. Or was it the ghost of his father whispering in his ear? Tossing the shirt aside, he rifled through his closet and finally settled on a sharply pressed pair of khaki slacks, a cream-colored button-down shirt and a russet suede blazer to chase away an early winter chill.
After he was finished, he examined himself in the mirror. The colors of the shirt and blazer looked good on him. And he was glad he’d gotten a haircut. His hair was cropped short around his ears, but left longer at the top. He’d removed his earring and the bracelet and rings he normally wore. He looked neater, more put together. More respectable, the annoying voice in his head urged.
Sebastian ignored it and walked the few blocks from his apartment to Little Italy. He picked up the meal he had ordered earlier, complete with mozzarella-topped garlic bread. After, he flagged a cab on the narrow street in front of the restaurant, and the taxi made great time in getting to Ryder and Melissa’s apartment on Sixty-Sixth Street, right off Second Avenue.
Sebastian took the elevator to her floor after being cleared by the doorman, vaguely recalling the layout of the apartment building. More clearly, he remembered that Melissa’s bedroom was on the first floor of the duplex while Ryder lived on the penthouse level. Sebastian hadn’t spent more than a night there, but it had been a night that had indelibly seared itself into his memory.
Alerted to his presence by the doorman, Melissa was already waiting. She wore a pair of trousers and a sleeveless lace blouse. Both were black. The blouse had a deep V-neck with small scalloped lace along the edges. Fairly sedate, he thought, until she turned to walk into the apartment and he saw the back of the blouse. It was nothing but a sheer panel of lace that exposed the creaminess of her skin. He bit back a groan. There was nothing underneath the blouse besides her.
Melissa tossed him a knowing smile as he followed her. She was testing him. Seeing if he could keep it just business.
It should have annoyed him. It didn’t. He liked her spunk.
“I figured we’d eat in here. Keep it simple,” she said, leading him past a modern-looking formal dining room and into the eating area of a spacious state-of-the-art kitchen.
“That’s fine. You can tell me what kind of computer equipment Ryder has while we eat. After, you can show me a journal or two.” He placed the plastic bag of food on the black granite counter and slipped off his blazer. When he removed the take-out aluminum pans from inside the bag, the pungent aroma of garlic wafted into the air.
Melissa closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and smiled. “Good thing Ryder’s not home.”
“So the garlic thing’s not just legend?” He finished laying out the pans and began to uncover them. “Dishes?” he questioned.
Nodding, Melissa opened a cabinet and removed various plates and bowls. She handed them to him and said, “Garlic does strange things to Ryder. In small doses, he can deal with it. If he were to ingest a large amount of it…” She shrugged and snagged a piece of mozzarella-topped garlic bread. “Hmm. Delicious.”
“Don’t fill up on the bread. There’s the salad with garlic Parmesan dressing as requested. Scampi with roasted garlic. And last but not least, grilled chicken with pesto. As a side, we have linguini with marinara sauce, for a slight change of pace.”
Melissa popped the last bit of garlic bread into her mouth and smiled. After she finished chewing, she said, “I like a man who’s true to his word. Would you like some wine with dinner? Ryder has a great collection.”
“Ryder drinks wine? I thought vampires only drank—”
“Blood? Hollywood stereotypes,” Melissa teased, tsking and shaking her head. She walked to a small wine cellar built into the wooden kitchen cabinets then turned a few bottles to expose the labels before pulling one out.
“Red seems appropriate,” she said and held the bottle out for his approval.
Sebastian uncorked the wine while Melissa forked some salad into bowls and prepared another set of plates with a little bit of each of the main courses and the pasta.
Once they were seated and the wine poured, Sebastian raised his glass and offered a toast, “To working together.”
Melissa raised her glass, but was quick to clarify, “I don’t think there will be much together, Sebastian.”
She doth protest too much, he thought. She was building defenses right before his eyes.
He knew the price to be paid for erecting such barriers. He’d kept his father away with the walls created by his defiance. Behind those walls, he’d avoided hurting people who expected more of him than he was able to give.
“Understood, Melissa. Just business.” He held up one hand as if in surrender, although giving up was the last thing on his mind.
Sebastian’s too-quick acquiescence surprised her because of the disappointment that came again, much as it had at the coffeehouse the other day. Disappointment implied that she’d hoped he’d take this opportunity to rekindle…No. To rekindle one had to have kindled in the first place. Their night of sex apparently hadn’t lit any fires for him. But that’s the way she wanted it, wasn’t it?
“Fine,” she said and nodded as if to confirm it to herself. “Ryder will cut you a check—”
Sebastian stopped her again by raising one hand. “I won’t take money for helping. Especially since I’m doing it for my sister.”
“Oh.” This time her disappointment cut deep. She didn’t rate, obviously, but why should that surprise her? She hadn’t rated with her parents, either. “What about the equipment you need?” she asked, hoping her dismay wasn’t apparent.
Sebastian chewed his scampi thoughtfully before replying, “I’m not rolling in the dough, so I will let Ryder reimburse me for that. I’m assuming he can afford it,” he said, motioning to everything around them with his empty fork.
“Money isn’t an issue. At least, as far as I know,” she replied, then turned her attention to the food while Sebastian asked questions about the journals and their sizes, Ryder’s existing computer, peripherals and Internet connections. She answered as best she could and advised Sebastian when he would have to ask Ryder for more information.
Dinner was just about finished when the apartment alarm chirped, signalling Ryder’s return.
Ryder walked into the kitchen and stopped in his tracks, Diana behind him. “Whoa. If you wanted me to stay away, all you had to do was ask.”
Diana smiled at her brother and greeted Melissa with a nod of her head. “Have the two of you decided what to do?” Diana asked as she paused in the doorway, briefcase gripped tightly in her hand.
Sebastian shot Melissa an uneasy glance. “I have a basic idea of what I need for the project. I guess we can start…” He paused, waiting for Melissa to fill in the blank.
“As soon as you confirm the equipment you need and do the programming,” she finished.
“We should try to do that as soon as possible,” Ryder advised.
It was obvious to Melissa from Ryder’s tone that something was up. “You have more information?” she asked as she grabbed her plate and started clearing the table. Sebastian rose and joined her, removing the remainder of their meal and leaving their glasses and the half-empty bottle of wine.
Diana opened her briefcase and removed an assortment of papers. “I looked at the reports and made a call or two. There are a number of things that just don’t connect.”
“It wasn’t an accident, was it?” Melissa asked and plopped down heavily in her chair, her knees suddenly rubbery.
“Nine-one-one received a call from a pay phone reporting the accident. Crews were dispatched immediately, but there were no motorists at the scene when the police arrived.”
Melissa knew Diana was only trying to be complete with the facts, but there was just one thing she wanted to hear. “Can you skip to—”
“The real four-one-one,” Sebastian finished for her and she gave him a grateful smile.
“I contacted the initial officer on the scene and asked why he hadn’t requested medical assistance.” Diana hesitated and looked at Melissa uneasily as she finished, “He said that when he felt for a pulse the bodies were cold. He knew immediately there was no reason for paramedics, but there was no way the bodies—”
“My parents,” Melissa lashed out.
“Perdoname,” Diana apologized before continuing. “Even though it was chilly, from the time of the call to the arrival of the police, to be cold your parents had to have been dead for some time.”
Since the day the journal had disappeared, Melissa had wondered whether there was some connection to her parents’ crash. Even though some medicine and prescription pads had been stolen, too, it made no sense for a drug dealer to steal a musty old journal. Nor had it made sense for her normally cautious father to speed down an icy and dangerous road. Perhaps her father had discovered something someone didn’t want him to know. She thought she’d convinced herself she’d be able to handle any revelation about their deaths, but she’d been wrong. She gripped the table to stop the way her world seemed to be spinning.
Sebastian laid a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“I need some air.”
Melissa raced out the door before Sebastian could react. He looked at Ryder. “Don’t you think you should see if she’s all right?”
“She just needs some time alone,” Ryder responded.
Anger surged through him at Ryder’s too-pat answer. “Melissa’s been alone for too long.” With that, he pushed away from the table, shoving it so hard that wine sloshed over the lip of Melissa’s nearly full glass.
He stepped through a set of French doors on the main floor that opened onto a small balcony where Melissa stood. She’d wrapped her arms tight around herself and her head hung down, her chin almost on her chest. It was as if she wanted to disappear into herself. He placed a hand on the glass of the sliding door, wishing he could touch her with that gesture. A moment later her shoulders started to shake. He couldn’t handle that.
Sebastian walked up behind her. Large soundless sobs racked her body.
It twisted something inside him to see her in such pain. He laid his hand on the gap between her neck and shoulder. At his touch, she turned and leaned into him. He wasn’t sure what to do for a moment. He had so many reasons for wanting their relationship not to get personal. So he stood there awkwardly, hands raised in midair until he finally did what his heart knew to be right. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. He bent his head and rested it against the top of hers. At that moment, whatever restraints she had left broke free.
She eased her arms around him, gripped his shirt in her fists and buried her head against his chest, murmuring, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He grasped the back of her head and tunnelled his fingers into the thick wealth of her hair. “Shh. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
She kept crying and repeating those words over and over in soft tones. He held her until her distress abated and the sobs racking her body subsided into small hiccuping breaths. When she was finally calm, she pulled away from him and her gaze met his. Her eyes were a gleaming sapphire, bright with tears still waiting to be shed. He cupped her face, wiped his thumbs across the wet trails on her soft warm skin. It seemed only natural to move his finger a fraction of an inch, trace the outline of her lips with his thumb. He bent his head until the spill of her breath bathed his lips.
Her lips were satiny. Flavored with the salt of her tears. He licked away those remnants and she opened her mouth to him, deepening the kiss.
Melissa’s head was spinning; her mind reeling with the feelings he created in her. She’d been so alone until he’d stepped out onto the balcony. Even before he’d touched her, she’d connected with him. Now here he was, kissing her again. She let herself enjoy the sensation of how right his kiss felt. Met his tongue with her own and pressed herself tight to him. Like some kind of genetic memory, she recalled every little nuance of his body’s contours. Remembered his strength and caring as he’d made love to her. A surge of emotion ripped through her.
It was the tension and that transference thing again, she told herself.
She yanked away from him and brought her hand up to wipe the taste of him from her lips. “I’m sorry, Sebastian. We shouldn’t be doing this.”
He nodded slowly. “You’re right. We probably shouldn’t be doing this.”
She felt disappointed, again, then something definitely short-circuited in her brain because she blurted out, “Why not?”
“Because I can’t be your hero, Melissa. I’m not cut out for it.” He took a step back toward the door and away from her.
She raised her chin slightly and with a trace of defiance in her voice said, “I’m a modern woman. I don’t need to be saved.”
Sebastian gave a soft little laugh and smiled sadly. “Everyone needs to be saved eventually, Melissa.”
She moved until she was standing barely an inch from him. His shaky exhalation washed over her face. It reminded her of that wonderfully sweet and enticing kiss. Up this close, it was impossible to avoid the full impact of his presence. Strong and capable. Sexy. Way too sexy.
She cupped his cheek and he didn’t pull away. That was good. But not enough. Gently she brushed her thumb across his skin, which was rough with the start of an evening beard. The whirl of emotions in his gaze touched her. In some ways, they were very similar creatures.
She saw his fear. Determination. Loneliness. Yearning. The last made something inside of her clench tightly, for she knew what it was like to want that much. She whispered, “Do you need to be saved?”
In the second before he turned and strode away, she thought she saw his answer—that he didn’t think himself worthy of salvation.
She wanted to go after him but she didn’t know how to run toward something, only how to run away. She’d been doing it her whole life. First from the hurt caused by parents who couldn’t love her. Then from the impossibility of a normal existence, given her role in Ryder’s undead life. It had been easier to run than to face reality with all its problems.
But now Sebastian made her feel something she’d never felt before. Something that dared her to rethink what her life was supposed to be. It was only by accepting this challenge that she could find out what was meant to be…or not meant to be.
Chapter 5
Given that he didn’t think of himself as hero material, Melissa was prepared for Sebastian to cut and run when Diana asked, “Are you with us on this?”
Sebastian stood by the table, his arms crossed against his chest. A defiant edge to his stance. “If you’re in it, Diana, I’m in it.”
Feelings of unworthiness rose sharply again, but Melissa ignored them. “You and Sebastian don’t have to be involved. Ryder and I can handle it.”
Diana laid her hand over Melissa’s in a comforting gesture. “You don’t have to be alone anymore. Plus, it may take the right connections to get the information we want.”
“Meaning?” Ryder asked.
Diana looked across the table at her lover, but refrained from reaching out to him. “The locals might be a little concerned with a Fed like me asking any more questions. I may need someone else to do the asking.”
“But that’s one more person in the loop who might become aware of Ryder’s secret. What if we just left this alone?” Melissa suggested, concerned that the inquiry into her parents’ death might do more harm than good.
Sebastian surprised her by saying, “If these events are connected, whoever broke into your office may not be satisfied with what they got. They may come looking for more. You can’t risk that.”
“No, you can’t,” Diana said. “We’re not really sure what happened with your parents yet, but if they were murdered—”
“Then whoever did it is willing to go to any lengths to get what they want,” Ryder finished.
There was a moment of silence as Melissa considered all they had said.
“What if you had been in your office, Melissa?” Sebastian asked. “What if the intruder had found you there?”
Melissa was about to answer that she could take care of herself when Diana spoke up, “How’d they know you were gone? They timed the burglary perfectly. That would require knowledge of your whereabouts and that you had the journal with you.” There was silence all around. “I need you to think about everyone who was at the hospital that night. Anyone who would have known where you were. What you were doing. Make a list of names so we can check them out.”
Melissa thought back to the staff that had been present and those who had dropped by after the theft. It was easy enough to remember, but it was difficult for her to imagine that any of them might be responsible. Despite that, she said, “I can do that. But what about my parents? How will you get more info on the accident?”
Diana glanced at Ryder uneasily. “Peter Daly. He assisted me on the Williams case.”
Melissa waited for Ryder’s reaction, aware of his dislike for the handsome NYPD detective. His face hardened slightly and his gaze narrowed. “How do you know we can trust him? He and I are—”
“I know he had issues with you during the Williams investigation, but if I vouch for you—”
“He’ll be your willing lapdog?” Ryder asked testily.
Melissa uneasily shifted her glance from Ryder to Diana, then to Sebastian as she said, “Detective Daly doesn’t need to know much. Just that we want more details on the crash.”
“We may not even need Daly,” Sebastian added and wiggled his fingers as if he was busy typing on a keyboard. “Most records are electronic now. A little hack here, a little hack there—”
Diana angrily slashed her hand through the air. “Hermanito, don’t even think about it.”
Sebastian held his hands up in surrender. He knew his sister well enough to know she wasn’t kidding. “We do it whatever way you want.”
“Whatever way I want.” Ryder slammed his hands flat on the table. “It’s my secret—”
“But it’s my parents who were possibly murdered,” said Melissa as she jumped to her feet. “And it’s my neck that’s on the line if whoever took the journal wants more.”
She looked from one person to the other, and finally to Sebastian. “So unless there’s a risk that the good detective will nose around for info on Ryder, I don’t see why we shouldn’t ask him for help.”
Melissa glanced at Ryder, but he just muttered, “I have no problems with Daly so long as he keeps out of my business.”
Melissa coughed uneasily to draw attention back to herself after a too-long silence. “So we’re done, right? Diana, you’ll let us know when you have more news.”
“And I’ll get to work on the equipment and programs,” Sebastian said, jumping out of his seat and grabbing Melissa’s hand. “I think I owe you coffee and dessert.”
Once out on the street, Sebastian took a deep breath. “It was getting a little—”
“Tense up there,” Melissa said, buttoning up against the night chill and burying her hands in the deep pockets of her wool peacoat.
“Was it me, or was Ryder getting all alpha male?” Sebastian asked as they strolled westward.
Melissa rolled her eyes. “It was definitely getting run-with-the-wolves with him.”
Sebastian chuckled and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “And you. That was pretty alpha to call the shots.”
A broad smile erupted on Melissa’s face. “It was, wasn’t it?”
“Is Ryder generally so—”
“Jealous?” Melissa raised an eyebrow to underscore her query.
“Sí. Would he get, you know…all demony if Daly got in his face?” As he said it, Sebastian made a snarly face and curled his hands as if they were claws ready to scratch someone.
Melissa chuckled. “I’ve never seen Ryder get fangy except to feed.”
“Was it weird? To see him…What’s the right term? Change? Transform? Seems to me if I’m going to be dealing with this—”
“You don’t have to deal with Ryder, Sebastian. That’s my job.” Clearly uncomfortable with the new direction of their conversation, she said, “You did mention dessert, didn’t you?”
“I did, only I’m not really a sweets kind of guy.”
She paused in her walk, forcing him to stop and face her. “That’s a shame,” she said.
Puzzled, he asked, “Why?”
“Because dessert is the best part of the meal. It’s the reward after a hard day.”
Sebastian eyed her up and down and shook his head. “No offense, but it seems to me you don’t pack away dessert all that often.”
Melissa examined herself, beginning with the coat she wore. She realized for the first time that it hung loose on her. It had fit just right when she had bought it, but that had been before the death of her parents. Before her world had gone topsy-turvy. Meeting Sebastian’s gaze, she said, “You’re right. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the leisure of getting dessert. Or being able to take long walks with nowhere to go.”
He pointed at her. “Doc, don’t ever let it be said you’re not direct and to the point. So a mobile dessert is in order.”
Melissa grabbed his finger and gave it a playful shake. “Around the block. There’s a tiny coffee shop that has an awesome hot chocolate they drown with whipped cream and little drizzles of caramel.”
Sebastian grinned and looped his arm through hers. “Sounds like a plan.”
Sebastian was used to working alone. It went with the territory of being a computer programmer. Despite that, he had been a trifle uneasy as he set up the equipment in Ryder’s office. What could he blame it on? Maybe the fact that he was alone in an apartment with a vampire?
Not that he wasn’t used to working with night owls, being one himself. Only Ryder was…
A bloodsucking, possibly lethal night owl?
It was crazy, Sebastian told himself as he set up the computer and assorted peripherals so he could commence the scanning. His sister was involved with this thing and Melissa not only lived with him, but was obviously quite fond of him.
He’d wondered about Ryder for days as he worked in his apartment to create the program for saving the scanned images and made arrangements with friends to create a peer-to-peer network to securely hold all the data. He’d tried to concentrate on the technology, but in the back of his mind were questions about Ryder and his relationships with both Diana and Melissa.
Sebastian knew Diana could take care of herself, but Melissa…
Didn’t need a hero, he reminded himself, recalling how capable she had been the other night.
As he kneeled beneath the desk to check the connection of the scanner to the USB port, he reminded himself that all Melissa wanted from him was his techno-knowledge. Nothing else.
“Need anything?”
Sebastian jumped up, banging his head on the bottom of the desktop. “Shit.”
He eased from beneath the desk, rubbing his head as he glared at Ryder, who was standing almost on top of him. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
Ryder stepped away. “Not sneaking. I knocked. Repeatedly.”
Sebastian crammed his hands into his jeans pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. “Yeah, well. I didn’t hear you.”
Ryder narrowed his gaze. “You’re uncomfortable around me, aren’t you?”
Evasion was not one of Sebastian’s traits. “You might say that.”
Ryder gave an amused smile and sat down on the sofa at the far end of the room. “There’s no need to worry. I don’t bite humans.”
“You bit my sister,” Sebastian challenged. He leaned against the edge of the desk and tried to adopt a nonchalant stance.
“She told you about that?” There was a hint of surprise in Ryder’s voice.
“We’re close. Have been since before Papi was killed.”
Ryder rubbed his index finger across his lip as he considered the young man across the room from him. He’d sensed something between Sebastian and Melissa and had worried about it.
Sebastian was too young, with a rebelliousness that normally boded ill. Despite that, he’d helped when called upon and Ryder had no doubt Diana strongly believed in her brother. Melissa also had clearly developed feelings for him. Feelings that could not only cause her a great deal of pain, but could place her in danger if she trusted this child to keep her safe.
Child. It was the only way Ryder could think of Sebastian, given the age difference between them and the differences in their life experiences.
“Melissa and I are close,” Ryder said. He was unprepared for what came next.
Sebastian skewered Ryder with his gaze. “Do you love her?”
Ah, so he has feelings for Melissa, as well. “I do. As a friend. As a sister. As my companion.”
“Your companion,” Sebastian said with a strangled laugh. He walked across the room to stand directly before Ryder. “She’s trapped by that and by the loyalty she feels toward you.”
Ryder didn’t need to be reminded. Melissa had confessed as much to him. It had come as a shock that she felt so differently from all the Danverses before her. Or maybe they had all felt the same, but lacked the courage to say it. He’d borne that guilt for months now and had told himself he was capable of dealing with it. Until now.
“She’s free to go when she wants,” he growled.
Sebastian surprised him again. He squared his shoulders and stood up to Ryder. “She won’t go until you set her free.”
They stood there nearly nose to nose for several seconds until Sebastian finally stepped away.
“I need to get some other equipment. I’ll be back later.” He walked out the door.
Ryder watched him go. There was no hint of his having tucked his tail and run. On the contrary, there was a swagger that said Sebastian had no problems with standing up for what he believed.
Ryder had to admire him for that. He also had to admit that he might be wrong about whether Sebastian was right for Melissa.
But Sebastian was definitely wrong about one thing. It wasn’t Ryder who had to set Melissa free. That was something she had to do herself.
As Ryder left the room and returned to his floor of the duplex it occurred to him that Sebastian could provide the goading Melissa needed to do it.
Amazingly the thought didn’t displease him the way he thought it would have.
Chapter 6
She’d made a list.
She’d checked it twice.
She didn’t know who’d been naughty, only who’d been nice.
The problem was, those who’d been nice might have been the ones who’d been the most naughty.
Melissa hated having to second-guess everyone’s motives. It wasn’t in her nature to question what was behind someone’s actions or whether she was misreading a glance or an errant look. With as much time as she spent in the hospital, having to wonder about each of her co-workers was creating quite a strain.
Tossing the list onto her desk, she closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair, once again going over the events of the night the journal was stolen. Where she had been and whom she had seen. How long she’d been in the E.R. and after, what she recalled from her walk back to her office and the discovery of the theft. As it had every other time, the same list of names came up. Number one on that hit parade was her friend Sara, the nurse in charge of her floor.
Sara had been on duty that night and free when Melissa had been called to the emergency room. She’d been on the floor when Melissa had returned from the E.R. and had come by immediately after the theft to offer her help. Had her offer been a smokescreen to throw Melissa off?
Although Melissa wasn’t one to normally plug into the hospital grapevine, she’d done so the last few days and discovered a great deal. Gossip said that Sara had been working a ton of extra hours, but no one knew why. Only that Sara needed the money.
Tony, the muscle-bound security guard who had been with Melissa in her office, had supposedly been tossed out of some kind of competition for testing positive for steroids. Melissa knew little about Tony other than that he had always been unflaggingly polite and helpful. As for his purported steroid use, the grapevine hinted that he had passed the random drug tests done by the hospital. Nevertheless, the rumors made him a possible suspect. Who knew if he could trade the prescription medicines stolen from her office for the steroids he needed to bulk up?
There had been a few other orderlies and nurses there that night, along with her father’s old friend, Dr. Edward Sloan, but overall, it was a rather short list. And she wanted to take her friend Sara off of it.
Sara came from a tough neighborhood on the Upper East Side and had risen from poverty the hard way by doing a stint in the Army that had taught her the basics of being an EMT, and later had helped pay for a nursing degree. Melissa knew Sara had been trying to move her family to a better area. Maybe that was why she needed cash.
Being her friend, Melissa could probably come right out and ask, only Sara was prideful about certain things, money being one of them. Melissa had it and Sara didn’t. That was always a source of conflict between them. Was it enough of an issue that Sara would steal or deal drugs to balance the scales? And why would she take the journal?
It left a sour taste in her mouth as she scooped her list of names off her desk and stuffed it into her lab coat pocket. Taking a look at her watch, she realized it was time for her last rounds before going home.
To most people, home was a sanctuary where they could escape the grind of their daily lives. For Melissa, it just meant a different kind of grind except…
Sebastian might be there. He’d been around the last few days; busy wiring and setting up equipment. So far with her schedule, it had been easy to avoid him, but now that it was her turn for some midday shifts, they might finally run into one another. She was still conflicted about whether that might prove difficult…or decidedly interesting.
The door to the women’s locker room was ajar.
Melissa caught sight of Sara, who looked around before stuffing something into a knapsack. The knapsack tipped over and two blood bags spilled onto the floor. Sara quickly scooped them up and jammed them back into her bag.
Melissa pushed through the door.
Sara whirled, a look of worry on her face that turned to a broad smile as she recognized her friend. “Whew, you scared the crap out of me.”
“Worried?” Melissa asked, trying to appear nonchalant while angry that she’d now have to move Sara back to Number One on her list of suspects.
Determined to find out what was going on with her friend, Melissa entered the combination on her lock, but kept an eye on Sara to see if any other interesting things fell out of her knapsack. Like the stolen journal.
Sara nodded and turned back to her locker. “Just spooked since the other night.”
Melissa took off her white coat and hung it up, pausing to slip the suspect list into her knapsack. She glanced at Sara, who was easing off her nurse’s scrubs and tossing them into the laundry basket. Her friend seemed calm and no longer worried. Had she misread Sara’s actions? Could there be some logical reason for her to be taking the blood?
Like the reason you do? an annoying voice in her head challenged.
“Were you on the floor when it happened?” Melissa asked as she, too, slipped off her hospital garb and pitched it into the hamper.
“I was with a patient. They’d buzzed me about some pain, so I had to call the resident,” Sara began, part of her explanation muffled by the shirt she was putting on over her head. “You know, I thought I heard something, but it wasn’t all that loud. And I didn’t see anyone come down the hall from the elevator, so I guess they used the stairs.”
Melissa reached for her oxford shirt. “Sounds like they had it all planned out.”
Sara shook her head. “But we were around. We were sure to see them unless…Maybe they wouldn’t have taken a chance if they saw someone on the floor. Maybe they would’ve just gone to another office.”
“Or maybe they would have hurt someone? Is that why you were spooked before?” Melissa offered, hoping to find some reason for Sara’s furtive actions.
“Sí,” Sara answered and gripped the edge of her locker with one hand, facing Melissa. “I’ve been working a lot of hours. If I can’t be safe here…”
“Is everything okay?”
“Mami hasn’t been well.” Sara’s face grew hard and unreadable, her motions slightly flustered. “I’d rather not talk about it.” As they both finished dressing, she remained silent.
As they walked out of the locker room together, Melissa didn’t press, sensing Sara’s unease. When they neared the elevator bank, Melissa laid her hand on Sara’s arm and said, “If you need to talk, if there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.”
Sara gave Melissa a tired smile. “Thanks for the offer, but you can’t even begin to guess the half of it.”
Melissa considered the possibility that she knew exactly what was up with Sara, but she said nothing else. It was safer to go to the source, for if there was one person sure to know more about other vampires and their keepers, it was Ryder.
The journal flew across the room and hit the wall with a dull, but satisfying, thud.
Useless. Totally useless.
The Danvers clan had apparently been guarding some kind of secret for a long time, only this journal hadn’t provided any information on the nature of their clandestine duties or how those duties tied into Frederick Danvers’s recent experiments.
Another lab rat had died. Just one more rat to go and there was still nothing to keep the cell strain going. Nothing to give a clue as to how to activate the frozen samples.
It was risky to try anything else right now. Security had been tightened at the hospital and the surveillance of Melissa’s office had revealed nothing. If she had other journals, she wasn’t endangering them by bringing them to the hospital.
Which meant she might have them at home. Only a home intrusion posed many increased risks, including injury to the inhabitants. Not that collateral damage of that kind was a problem, but if Melissa was the last Danvers with knowledge of the secret, the risk of losing her was too extreme. At least for now.
There was one lab rat and a fresh supply of human blood to inoculate with the cell strain. Maybe this time it would take.
Chapter 7
“Are you sure it was a blood bag?”
Melissa dragged a hand through her hair. “As sure as I could be without checking her knapsack.” With an exasperated sigh, she continued, “Is she like me? A keeper? It would make sense, wouldn’t it? As a nurse, she knows a lot of medical stuff. She could take care of needs like yours.”
“Possibly.” Ryder lowered his gaze as if further considering her question.
Diana, who was perusing the list Melissa had given her earlier, jumped in with, “Sara Martinez. It’s a common name. Anything else you can give me? Birth date? Social Security Number?”
“We’re both Virgos. I think she was born on August 27th.”
“Virgos, huh? That makes you headstrong and intelligent. And would it be so bad if you had fellow-keeper company?” Sebastian asked.
Ignoring him, Melissa shot up off the sofa and paced a step or two before facing Ryder and Diana. “So is it possible? Could Sara be a keeper like me?”
“I know there are other vampires, but I don’t know who they are or where they are.”
Melissa examined him, trying to figure out how he could be so damn complacent about this. But she saw that while his tone sounded relaxed, he tapped his closed fist against the arm of the sofa in a nervous gesture. “How could you not know?”
To stop the growing tension between Melissa and Ryder, Sebastian quipped, “It’s not like there’s some secret organization like VLAD, Melissa.”
“VLAD?” She faced him, a confused look on her face.
“Sí. Vampires, Lycanthropes And Demons. Get it? VLAD. Like the Impaler.” He made a staking motion with one hand.
It brought a small smile to Melissa’s lips and dragged a strangled chuckle from Diana.
“Is it possible that your father knew somehow? Maybe he figured out what Sara was up to? Confronted her about it?” Ryder asked, completely ignoring Sebastian’s attempt at humor.
Melissa seated herself on the arm of the sofa, so close Sebastian could smell her perfume, a scent with a hint of lilacs. So close he could detect the tightness of her body as she answered, “My father was kind of old-fashioned that way. He was a doctor. She was a nurse. There was no reason for him to get to know Sara.”
“But maybe she knew about him,” Ryder replied. “Maybe she wanted something from him.”
“What?” Melissa pressed, her hands fluttering in the air with her distress.
“Information she obviously didn’t get,” Sebastian supplied. Then he asked Diana, “Are we sure someone killed Melissa’s parents? There’s no room for doubt about that?”
“None. The copies of the reports Peter Daly got for me show gross errors during the initial investigation.” She turned her attention to Melissa. “Is there anything else you can think of—”
“Nothing, but maybe there’s more in my father’s journals. Maybe I should get started there instead of with the older ones.”
“Not without some safeguards,” Ryder advised and looked across the small distance to Sebastian, pinning him with his gaze. “Are you ready to get started?”
Sebastian sat up straighter and squared his shoulders, bracing himself for anything else Ryder might say. “I finished all the programming and setup this afternoon. We can scan tonight if you’d like.”
“The sooner, the better,” Ryder confirmed.
“I need a break and even though I’m not really hungry, I need some dinner. After that, Sebastian can get started. Once he’s done with Father’s first journal, I’ll start reviewing it to see if I can make sense of what was going on.”
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